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ironically the welcome message meant to tell you how to use uncyclopedia forgot to sign, even though it's one of the last things in the welcome message. — L10nM4st3rROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 05:59, 26 April 2025 (UTC)
@Coffi: Don't talk to the new user as if you had took unhealthy amounts of caffeine; you might scare them. Also, you're quite the noobie around here too, so mayhbe you ain't the best fit for that task. Also also, what makes you think this account was made by that IP user? πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 03:40, 26 April 2025 (UTC)
Because I helped him make the account. I was just joking with him, that's all. Coffi (talk) 03:45, 26 April 2025 (UTC)
oh, so you are that IP after all... ngl, I had my suspicions considering ypur name is a reference to Dante's Inferno, AKA the main inspiration for ULTRAKILL. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 03:43, 26 April 2025 (UTC)
so, I guess you won't be known as the IP guy anymore... this seems like the end of an era. Well, in any case; welcome to Uncyclopedia, Schism. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 03:46, 26 April 2025 (UTC)
dw we got an outro song (see: the old talk page) Schism (talk) 03:47, 26 April 2025 (UTC)
HOLY FUCK HE ACTUALLY MADE AN ACCOUNT![edit source]
Unfortunately, I will likely continue referring to you as "IP Man"...
If you're sometimes getting logged out for no reason, check the "keep me logged in" box when you log in. I don't think you have to on wikipedia, but for some reason we often get logged out for no reason on Uncyc if we don't do that. Not a big deal either way, just thought you might like to know. MrXblow me 15:29, 28 April 2025 (UTC)
I would probably start from when I first edited. (Although technically I made mine when I made my old account - the one from before I forgot the password - and I did make a couple of edits as an IP before I joined) — L10nM4st3rROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 19:05, 29 April 2025 (UTC)
sorry for pinging you but how and why do some people have special signatures? 168.11.96.2 (talk) 18:23, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
that's something people can set up in their own preferences page. But said page only appears to those that are logged in... πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 18:26, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
ok give me at 3 PM sir I make active today very real (read that in an indian accent) 168.11.96.2 (talk) 18:29, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
FUCK YOU INDIAN SCAMMERS (Yes, I realise not all Indians are scammers, I'm only hating on the scammers, as I just said if you read my message properly. I'm also hating on people who don't know how to read 4 word long sentences.) — L10nM4st3rROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 18:44, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
Don't take this too seriously. Coffi just wants to let you know that you did something silly, which may or may not include NOT BEING WHACKED WITH A WET TROUT YET
Also, I think I should say AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA AGULGEGA! Coffi (talk) 20:29, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
Also also, the skididi's are invading your userpage. Hee hee!Coffi (talk) 00:38, 8 May 2025 (UTC)
BEWARE THE SKIBIDI INVASION IS COMING The EVIL Gen Alphas have been directed to attack this place by Coffi because of aboslute boredom.
You know what's worse than World War Three? Ava Kris Tyson getting contact with another minor and committing more pedophilia. But you know what's better than that? The fact that you actually logged in into an account! Seriously, we're all proud!
You know what's crazy? The fact that I was offline when you made an account.
You know what's gay? The word "gay". But you know what's even... er... better? The fact that it only took you a year to make an account.
Okay, let's get a little bit in-depth now. Why did you make an account? You were either:
Somebody apparently knows where you live[edit source]
You should have protected your IP address, now the world knows forever where you live.
I mean, I suppose you could get a vpn. You really should be using that if you spend 90% of the time logged out for some reason (you know you can click the "keep me logged in" and it will keep you logged into your account?) — L10nM4st3rROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 19:53, 12 May 2025 (UTC)
yeah, who could've known that you live in the US? truly ground-breaking information right there 19:53, 12 May 2025 (UTC)
it's just the geolocation of his IP. it gives an approximate area (which is pretty big), and its ISP/if it's a proxy/VPN/datacenter/iCloud relay address/probably a bunch more things or not 19:56, 12 May 2025 (UTC)
On a few occasions, I've seen my own IP geolocation as far as 100 km away from my actual location. MrXblow me 22:24, 12 May 2025 (UTC)
@L10nM4st3r: @Alula: @DaniPine3:, what the heck happened? someone knows where schism lives and schism got socked?! What, where, when, why, and how?!?! Coffi (talk) 03:34, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
@Coffi: I mean that someone doesn't really know where Schism lives; they just searched Schism's IP in an IP locator (which more often than not do not tell the actual user's location) and then created a new account called "i know where you live". Ah, and that someone turned out to be Real person that exists, which got blocked for 1 month after several attempts to sock. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 06:37, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
well then everyone knows I live in βββββββββ βββββββ 168.11.96.2 (talk) 11:55, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
a. the image telling the IP location was immediately deleted b. IPs location do not tell the actual user's location c. maybe you shouldn't say your location when you display your IP so freely... πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 12:11, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
what, is alula gonna fly to my house and throw a c4 into my window? 168.11.96.2 (talk) 12:32, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
yes 13:19, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
great heavens I am in considerable danger 168.11.96.2 (talk) 14:09, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
@DaniPine3: the signature wont signature. y'all have those little images and all, and weird special ways to go to your talk pages. how? Schism (talk) 20:13, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
1. Create a new subpage in your userpage called User:Schism/sig. Here you will create whatever signature you want (as long as it's compliant with UN:SIGN, of course). 2. Go to Special:Preferences and scroll to the section "Signature" 3. In the part that says "New signature:", write {{User:Schism/sig}} and click the box on "Treat signature as wikitext (without an automatic link to your user page)" 4. Click save. 5.Your signature should now work :] πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 22:05, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
Also if you want the signature to not look like an absolute mess (unlike someone else here), then you should write {{nosubst|User:Schism/sig|[[User:Schism]]}} in the field instead. It'll do the same thing, except the entire signature will be inside one box like mine is. 22:16, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
@alula: what's wrong with my signature? >:[ πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 22:28, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
Yeah, that. And also the fact that it's not christmas anymore. 22:34, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
@L10nM4st3r: kay, I'll change it, but no need to be so angry about it... also alula it might not be christmas but the christmas trees can be interpreted as pinetrees and are therefore convenient for it. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 22:50, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
ποΈYOU HAVE BEEN DRAFTEDποΈ
into the elite forces of the
ASBOLAAT LITERARY LEGION
MISSION: Write a few glorious lines(following the rules, of course) to shape the fate of a chaotic epic.
Your words may doom the world, summon a new god, or just give WAR another heart attack.
π To enlist: go to The Grand ASBOLAAT Story and add ONE LINE to the end. Then, wait for your next turn, and write another.
π― Do NOT edit others' lines. Do NOT write a banana. Do NOT back away from KALKUTNIDAK.
π₯ Do it for glory. Do it for Coffi. Do it because KALKUTNIDAK must never win.
βοΈ JOIN THE STORY WAR βοΈ
Failure to comply will result in eternal narratological confusion.
do you remember that user that helped you get an account? apparently they were using several sockpuppets... also, now that I remember, didn't you say something that they were the ones to give you a password or something like that? πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 14:11, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
coffi made the account for me since i couldnt myself Schism (talk) 14:12, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
okay, so, I'm going to be bold saying this. don't trust that person. change your password immideatly. maybe even create a new account. and don't talk to strangers on the internet. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 14:14, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
why did you even let some random stranger create an account for you? can't you see the kind of issues that can lead to???? πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 14:17, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
what are you waiting for? either change the password, or make a new account altogether. NOW. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 14:20, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
i went and changed the password like immediately once i saw your message Schism (talk) 14:21, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
i went and read through coffi's talkpage, based on conversations i've had with him before, coffi just had no clue that this would be that serious. OR, he did know it would be this serious but he didn't think he would get found out (which, he did)Schism (talk) 14:23, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
k, cool to know you changed your password. btw, just to be on the same page. you are not another one of those sockpuppets by Coffi, are you? because it seems Coffi had several of them that we didn't even know, and now I'm not certain of what's real and fake anymore... (btw, if you are not Coffi's sockpuppet, I'm sorry for thinking you are one.) πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 14:25, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
no im not a sockpuppet and its fine that you DID think i was one, but i guess i wanna point out a general writing style you could generally tie to me, that being:
- rarely uses capital letters
- references things from ultrakill
- uses capitals in place of italics Schism (talk) 14:29, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
that's true. your demeanor is to calm compared to Coffi's, while his other sockpuppet had pretty much the same vibe of screaming at you when was typing as Coffi (which I guess it's why alula got suspicious). also, Coffi barely talks about Ultrakill. I pity that you got involved in this weird mess regarding that user. I'm not even user what even he's trying to do - if he's trying anything at all. but there's definitely something suspicious regarding that user. I hope he becomes more trustable from now on. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 14:34, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
ts some of the craziest shi i've gotten onto uncyc and seen (ts = this shit, commonly used by my fellow lifeless youtube shorts "people", so easy to think you wouldnt know) Schism (talk) 14:36, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
yeah, I know. I though he was just a hyperactive user, but since I've told him that we found out he had a sockpuppet, he's started behaving weird. even if we didn't block him, just gave him a warning. check out his talkpage's revision history. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 14:38, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
Y'all are gossiping about me? Coffi (talk) 15:21, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
Hello Schism. It's true that I owned multiple sockpuppets and used them to do various things, the problems that have to do with me have nothing to do with you or your personal information.
It's good that you changed your password and info so that it's not exposed to anyone. I sincerely apologize for getting you caught up in this situation. You had no way of knowing, and I truly regret any worry or inconvenience this has caused you. Please know that your account security was never my intention to compromise, and I'm glad you took the necessary steps to protect it. Going forward, I hope to regain the community's trust and learn from this.
The issues related to my sockpuppetry have absolutely nothing to do with you or your personal information. I sincerely apologize for creating your account in the first place; I understand now that it wasn't the appropriate way to help, and it unintentionally put you in a difficult position. Coffi (talk) 15:34, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
its fine pal Schism (talk) 17:12, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
I never told you about my new sig. I can now legally give you a tutorial on how to make yours. talk 20:58, 18 May 2025 (UTC)
Do you still want to work on the hell section of make it to ketchikan?[edit source]
I have a feeling that if any of us tried to finish that section, we would screw it up. You were really on to something there, and me, Gergdown, Alula and DaniPine3 are all concentrated on different parts of the game. OαΓΆαααα (vandalize my talk page) 23:11, 18 May 2025 (UTC)
ah shit i forgot, i'll get to that soon enough, probably tomorrow afternoon β Preceding unsigned comment added by Schism (talk β’ contribs)
hey, so, just wanted to let you and OPOSSUM know that I was trying to make the hell section tie better with the previous version... so I created more stuff before it enters hell. also, I didn't finish it. see UnGames:Make it to Ketchikan/SitkaGas0UnGames:Make it to Ketchikan/SitkaGas, and then follow the link that days "investigate weird shit". πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 23:54, 18 May 2025 (UTC)
The UnSignpost wants writers, just like YOU! Please message Head ShitslingerTM Turb0-Sunrise here. You get a pair of gloves so your hands don't smell, as well as a chance to get looked at funny by your peers. Offer stands until Christmas, so hurry your ass up and get in here!
Man, where is all the action lately? It's so quiet around here. We have 180 "active" editors, but nothing's happening. I guess a MITK page got vandalized. Gerg updated the Shitroom design, but other than that, nothing really.
RealDonaldTrump, resident President and one of our template experts, managed to break a very important template. After making an edit to Template:Big, something happened. Hundreds of pages only displaying numbers where there once was big text. After a message to Alula, it was fixed and now everything is fine again.[citation needed]
We've switched to a new numerical system for identifying issues. It should work better for me, and also cuts down on bytes when messaging, albeit only by a few.
On December 16 or 17, I asked DaniPine3 to block me until the 19th because reasons. However, I had not accounted for who would deliver the UnSignpost, figuring Turb0-Sunrise would do it. Little did I know, Turb0 had taken his name off the paperbots list, leaving me as the sole UnSignpost deliverer. This was appropriately reacted to by several editors. And might I remind you that when you sign up for UnSignpost home delivery by putting the template on your talk page, you agree not to sue?
I've been here only a few months, but these few have been amazing. Lots of laughs, 5 featured articles, YANKEES SUCK, and so much more.
Through hundreds of rollbacks, so much has changed since July. New users, A fewoldones coming back, and a whole lot of moccasins. As the sun sets on another year, do remember that I'm under the mistletoe right now. :3
Lovingly yours,[nuh uh]
It's been a wild 20th year of Uncyclopedia. Several new people joining, the continued making and purging of ASBOWAATs, tons upon tons of Deltarot (Deltarune brainrot), the return of the UnSignpost, memes abound, YANKEES SUCK!, and The Daily News.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!! Two people who haven't been heard from in a while have started editing Uncyclopedia again. Funnily enough, Page continues to describe herself as an "UnSignpost everythinger", a title which would be more fitting for Turb0 or Fish at this point.
Priest Goofball is the main boss of Deltarune chapter 4. His hobbies include chess, preaching, and being the main boss of Deltarune chapter 4. Did I mention that he's the main boss of Deltarune chapter 4?
18:32, 28 December 2025 DaniPine3 (talkcontribs) changed block settings for Gergdown (talk | contribs) with an expiration time of 15:26, 31 December 2025 (account creation disabled) (asked for it (again))
The Daily News is officially in print... well, not print. You get the point. Put {{The Daily News}} on your talk page to get daily spam in addition to your weekly spam!
Quote(s) of the Week
βLiterature must rest always on a principle, and temporal considerations are no principle at all. For, to the poet, all times and places are one; the stuff he deals with is eternal and eternally the same: no theme is inept, no past or present preferable.β
January 1, 2026 β’ Issue #237 β’ The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11Current issue β’ Archives β’ Press Room
After having my the UnSignpost stolen revived by Turb0-Sunrise and Fish on skates, going on monthly month-long hiatuses for 3 years (what do you mean it's been 3 years since I was active???), and forgetting Uncyclopedia's existence despite frequently lurking in its discord server, I have forgotten how to write an UnSignpost. How do I use the template (which I myself modified back in 2022)? What do all these inputs mean? How do I write things? I'm quite sure the UnSignpost wrapper used to be centered! What's even happening in this site these days? AAAAAAAAA!
Anyway, it should be January 2026 for everyone here, right? ... Right? So, first UnSignpost of the year goes to me. I sure do love collecting meaningless achievements and titles!
...gosh, what do I even do here anymore? What am I allowed to put in this signpost, again?
As it is now 2026, the possibility for tomorrow to be the release day of Deltarune Chapter 5 has become existent once more. Despite the halfway mark of their game having been attained, new chapters are not likely to stop the insanity of Deltarune fans. Assuming Chapter 5 is not shadow-dropped and instead has a release date announced, the world will once again have a day where "tomorrow" means "the day after today" instead of "the day a new chapter of Deltarune releases". Once that happens, there will only be up to 2 Deltarune Tomorrows until the world's concept of tomorrow returns to something that doesn't always mean Deltarune.
Biopic
I don't know what a biopic is
From The Logs
*plant noises.ogg*
*animal noises.ogg*
Oh, it meant stuff like Special:Log and stuff. Well, gotta use these sounds I recorded from inside a literal log somehow. We're keeping it in.
Holy. Fucking. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
With the new year comes the yearly awards. The scramble of the top 10. The xOTY nominations.
Alright, let's get the fuck down to business.
First off, I have a UOTM nomination open. I have 7 votes already. side note, you should vote for me. side note over.
Now, I have a UOTY too. But that's not the end of it. don't waste your time here
Some dude Turb0-Sunrise has officially got 10,000 edits as of January 6, 2026. He's only been on here for like 5 months. To put that in perspective, Alula has been around since late 2021 and has around 30,000 edits. You do the math.
ColonelKurtz, who took an involuntary unbreak back in October, has returned. Here's hoping he learned from whatever brought on that involuntary break!
Biopic
This biopic is about biopics. There are many different ways to write them, but I'm trying out writing them in the style of ARandomPage, who half the time treats this section as another story. I'm lazy, etc. On to the fanmail!
Continuing on the "was here" userbox trend where people make userboxes saying they were here, Gammakid999, MK, and L10nM4st3r have userboxes of their own.
OPOSSUM made a contest for the title of "Moccasin Man" because he's done with moccasins.Soviet's Bot won by putting the most moccasins on OPOSSUM's userpage.
US President RealDonaldTrump made Testing the VFH widget (again) (do not feature!), a page that was meant to test some new feature. Turb0 then voted on its VFH page, with many others including me and several admins voting. Because I think I'm sooo clever, I made a VFH page for the VFH. And because Turbs also thinks he's soooo clever, he made a VFH page for that, and a VFH page for that. Gergdown also contributed somewhat to the joke. Alula later deleted the test page and closed all of the nominations.
Biopic
Cassie, also known as Cassandra, is a bureaucrat I'm pretty sure, and has been around for a long time. Anyway, she's not dead. Pretty sure. She's on the active users template and I hope she stays a while.
19:05, 14 January 2026 Alula (talk | contribs) blocked Turb0-Sunrise (talk | contribs) with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (clearly learnt his lesson from last time. oh wait)
Abuse filter blocked MK with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) β(Blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Mandatory cancellation)
L10nM4st3r and DaniPine3 blocked each other and unblocked themselves a lot. The entertaining edit summaries were "Not banned enough yet", "blocking me when i did nothing >:[", ">:]", "Finger slipped", "Finger slipped again", and "banged my head on the keyboard". See for yourself.
You, yes YOU, can rank some Uncyclopedian-made songs! Part of the hit albums Make it to Ketchikan and Bust into Boston these noises you hear before you can be ranked for the second time! So what are you waiting for?
Biopic
In the span of some time that I'm too lazy to count, Deemox has gone from a total noob to a slightly less total noob. He's already made an article and in my humble opinion has quite a lot of potential.
Are the allegations true? I'm not going to elaborate, for comedic effect. β Gammakid999
yes and no at the same time
favorite non-ASBOWAAT article that you didn't write β Fish on skates
uhh get back to me on that one
From The Logs
20:20, 19 January 2026 L10nM4st3r blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 10 minutes (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) (Not banned enough yet)
20:21, 19 January 2026 DaniPine3 blocked L10nM4st3r with an expiration time of 10 seconds (account creation disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (blocking me when I did nothing >:[)
Gergdown has unleashed an "Agenda 2026" that aims to make Uncyclopedia great again, one edit at a time. This plan has quite a few people onboard already, probably because people will join anything advertised in a big fancy box.
"Newcomer" and Wikipedia sock puppeteer has finally gotten unbanned after socking and vandalism. Three months ago, Teh Epik Duck consistently vandalised talk pages, forums and encyclopedic articles before being banned by Alula for being a dick.
In an attempt to bypass his ban, Teh Epik Duck told Alula
βUnblock me now you retard.β
β Teh Epik Duck
clearly showing this was his masterstroke. He resorted to socking but was quickly banned for an extended period of three months.
However, Duck requested his userpage and subpages be deleted as he has retired. Miss him, miss him.
Time's running out to vote for the xOTY awards and the top 10 articles of 2025! So what are you waiting for? Get your LaziBum to the polls and be opinionated!
01:52, 26 January 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Fish on skates with an expiration time of 1 minute and 40 seconds (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (suggesting that I, an ADMIN, should get banned. this is clearly conspiracy against the [totally non-existent] cabal!!!)
02:18, 26 January 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Fish on skates with an expiration time of 1 minute and 41 seconds (account creation disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (idea of Turb0-Sunrise (plus, you edit conflicted on my own talkpage!!!!))
00:32, 28 January 2026 DaniPine3 huffed page Your Article Name(wtf is this: content was: " == The Bee Movie Script == {{", and the only contributor was "Soviet's Bot")
At the end of January, the server of en.uncyclopedia.co went down. This led a bunch of people (Alula, Fish on skates, Gergdown, Turb0-Sunrise, Soviet, and RealDonaldTrump), to join the spoon and discover that Spike is a sockpuppet of OPOSSUM. The spoon's LPTEW also received a spike in activity as everybody from the fork scrambled to figure out what the heck was going on. Fish tried reaching out to Alula through wplace about what would happen to the Top 10 voting, which was extended a day to account for the server outage. The construction tag deadlines on multiple articles were also extended by a few days too.
It all started when our resident potatochopper and weeb MK hid the edit buttons on her userpage so no one could edit it. I, thinking I'm so clever, found an actual use for the visual editor and used it to prove I could still edit. This escalated into a vandalism contest much like the one OPOSSUM held, and even spread to pages like her editnotice and her signature. This is what the userpage looked like at the end of the silliness.
What do you think of saying "archibe" instead of "archive"? β Soviet
archibe
From The Logs
(spoon) 16:39, 31 January 2026 Spike blocked RealDonaldTrump with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (You can't do that)
00:28, 2 February 2026 RealDonaldTrump blocked SPIKE with an expiration time of 4 millennia, 9 centuries, 9 decades, 9 years, 364 days, 17 hours, 49 minutes and 12 seconds (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (You're not allowed to do that)
08:31, 2 February 2026 L10nM4st3r changed block settings for L10nM4st3r with an expiration time of 21:58, 1 February 9025 (account creation disabled) (Not banned enough yet)
This isn't a joke. We actually VFD'd an FA! Taylor Swift's "psy-op", an article[duh] created by alleged AI-writer Tranvit, has been fuckedbaleeted tossed down that super deep hole in Russia or wherever it is on VFD. MrX briefly lost his shit over it, before everybody seemingly forgot about it all. What were we talking about?
On LPTEW, Fish on skates started complaining about Turb0-Sunrise's constant edit conflicts. Both of them complained like 5-year-olds to DaniPine3, when ColonelKurtz decided to hold a fair trial, hearing both sides. Upon hearing both sides, Kurtz decided Turb0's description of the events wasn't detailed enough, at which point Fish threatened him. Hockey salmon was there too, for some reason. As with all court cases, it eventually came down to more angry five-year-old arguing. Aside from arguing, highlights include God making an appearance, confirming his secret gay relationship with Satan.
So. Uhh. Yeah. You probably know what a sitenotice is. Those things nobody looks at and dismisses as soon as they pop up. Well MrX had the bright idea to parody Wikipedia's 25 year anniversary. I made the editnotice, MrX made some tweaks, and long story short, my work is on every page of this website.[note 1]
Dani's revision of the original drawing. The horrors... nice tits on it though...
Fish's reply. Not to be confused with GlitchyZorua, the topic of the biopic, even though the damn wrapper puts it in the biopic section and i don't feel like adding more whitespace to this fucking thing to make it not in the biopic, even though this ridiculous rant is causing way more whitespace than should be allowed in an average UnSignpost issue
Demon spawning ground and local dumbassery[note 2] LPTEW has spawned yet another monstrosity, this time in the form of a moe personality of LPTEW itself. Fish on skates began the horrors, mentioning it in a completely unrelated thing, only for DaniPine3 to create an eldritch abomination beyond the wildest dreams of Satan himself.
These creations were met with mixed reactions, with GlitchyZorua calling for them to be killed with fire, ColonelKurtz having a stroke, Turb0-Sunrise forcing Fish to give hers red socks, and somebody masturbating. I heard it. It was in the broom closet.
If you see these creatures, seek medical attention immediately. You will likely die if exposed to these creatures for long periods of time. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
The week is upon us. Forest Fire Week. BURN THE SHIT! BURN IT! MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAHAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Biopic
There's a place in France or somewhere. They say there's nude dancing. Sounds like fun. This has nothing to do with GlitchyZorua, who is honestly great. They don't do much actual writing, but they're around. Mostly on VFD, but if you hide in the dark corners of MrX's talk page, Zorua'll be there.
10:57, 7 February 2026 Alula blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 7 minutes and 5 seconds (account creation disabled) (Felt like it)
11:02, 7 February 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Alula with an expiration time of 1 hour and 8 minutes (account creation disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (Payback >:[)
11:10, 7 February 2026 Alula unblocked Alula(it's not very effective...)
11:12, 7 February 2026 Alula blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 3 seconds (account creation disabled) (DaniPi3)
14:08, 9 February 2026 Alula blocked 50.206.73.246 with an expiration time of 1 day (anonymous users only, account creation disabled) (pay attention in class you idiot)
If your talkpage doesn't have some weird CSS on it,*cough* MKyou may be noticing that the good[citation needed] ol' USP looks a bit different. We've revamped[note 3] some stuff in the back.
First off, if you look at the super fucking old issuses, you'll see a little thing next to the issue number. We brought that back. Then we split the heading thingy in half. It doesn't do much, but it looks nicer. Then we put the heading in a box. Looks so fucking nice. Now we put the WHOLE THING in a bo- excuse me...
oh, oh,OH!
Where were we?
Quote(s) of the Week
βusiong hHE POWER OF NTO CORERCTINT WORDS I WILL UNCYCLEOPEDIA A MAJROR STROEK AND THEN TO STOP THE STOPKE THEY WWKKWKKWWKWKWKWKWJWWJβ
β ColonelKurtz
βI'd rather be Spamton, because back then he had a giant TV sugar daddy.β
Holy shit. They actually did it. ColonelKurtz got banned by Alula for "repeated creation of garbage pages, spamming discussions with gibberish/irrelevant messages, generally just being a dick, etc." Following a brief change of the blocking time to 2 hours by DaniPine3, Turb0-Sunrise put that one template on his page, with Soviet moving the old contents to a new page. People started taking his subpages in a process known as "article-trenching".
Aside from that, one of his last acts was voting against on my article on VFH. Soo... you could say it's mixed reactions from ol' Turb0.
For whatever reason, newcomer OrdinaryJoe1234 has been nominated a ton of articles like ChatGPT and Rickrolling. Despite being warned by Shabidoo, he has still continued nominating articles. Because of this, he has earned the nickname "The 2011th Fenris" from Fish on skates just now.
After the purging of the AI articles helped by Gergdown's revolution thingy, people want to do something about AI images. However, everyone has a different opinion. MrX, OPOSSUM, and Noopnurf want to leave the AI images alone, but Gergdown, Turb0-Sunrise, DaniPine3, MK, and I would like to do something. After a lengthy off-topic conversation on the user talk page of recently banned ColonelKurtz, a forum was created with the title of The Noopstein Files.
15:22 Alula blocked ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) β(ugh)
20:31, 13 February 2026 DaniPine3 changed block settings for ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of 2 hours (account creation disabled) (hold on, why infinite? the guy hasn't done anything really bad now)
20:33, 13 February 2026 Alula changed block settings for ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (dani don't bother, this is for his general behavior)
Because this only happens once in a whenever, we here at the USP would like to welcome Deemoxagoard aboard. Fuck. Shit. You STUPID DUMBASSARY USER! How do you not know the proper way to speak the English language, Turb0? As we all know, the correct way of spelling aboard is aboard!!! Obviously not agoard!!! In fact, since you said that, not only have you offended me, but the entire history of the Anglo-Saxon language chain, Turb0.
Anyways, welcome Deemox. There's cake here somewhere. Depending on if Bill ate it all. Fuck you, Bill.
) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
