Forum:Corrupt a Dream

Forums: Index > BHOP > Corrupt a Dream (talk)

A new game. RULES:

• A person wishes something, i.e "I wish I had a kitten"
• The next person corrupts it, e.g "Granted, but it's a lion's kitten. Six years later, it eats you."
• The same person wishes for something else, and so on and so on ad nauseum.
• If nobody responds for three days, you are allowed to corrupt your own wish.
• Comments not following the rules shall be removed and fed to grues.

I'll start.

I wish I had a puppy. _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 21:32, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

it is an EVIL puppy 21:33, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

you have to make a wish after you corrupt _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 21:41, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

i wish for the kerguelen islands to be dropped straight on top of florida 22:51, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

Sadly, you're directly under them.

i want ideas for an article. _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 22:53, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

Unfortunately, you get the idea to make "A story built one syllable at a time". So, I wish to meet Walbro IRL. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (vandalize my talk page) 22:57, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

but unfortunately, walbro stabs you IRL. my wish is to see what the next wish is. 🍁 gergdown 🍁 🌑 23:00, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

Sadly, your wish is shit. i wish to be a pilot. _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 23:01, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

you must pilot the planes people use in Microsoft Flight Simulator

i wish for olulas to be real 23:03, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly you turn into one. i wish for yansik to go fuck himself. _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 23:04, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

Unfortunately, Yansik's dick becomes as big as the world, so he fucks you as well. I wish that I could be a seal for a day (and not die, by clubbing or other means.) Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (vandalize my talk page) 23:07, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

but sadly, you're stuck as a seal forever because of the curse of a wizard. i wish that one day, i fall on the stairs and have a dream where i go to albuquerque. because, you see, way back when I was just a little bitty boy, living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house, half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop (You know the place)

Well, anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy, except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning, my mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. Daww, big bowl of sauerkraut! Every single morning! It was driving me crazy!

I said to my mom I said, "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train And she leaned right down next to me And she said, "It's good for you" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer And the towels are oh so fluffy Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel

and then i wake up an enter albuquerque. 🍁 gergdown 🍁 🌑 23:08, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

Sadly, you go to albucarkeys instead, and get raped by a cactus. i wish i was a real boy. _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 23:12, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

you become a wooden puppet on a string
i wish people actually followed the rules of this forum instead of just starting their own little reply chain 23:16, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

I wish I had lucid dreams every night. Soviet (talk) 23:13, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

but sadly, you have lucid nightmares every day. i wish my credit card would play jingle bells every time i used it, and by reading this message, this must happen, my credit card MUST play jingle bells (the song) every time i use it, i must be alive for an extra 100 years after the current time of 05:41, my credit card must be functional, and i must have my credit card in a 1 kilometre radius from me, and it can be closer. 🍁 gergdown 🍁 🌑 23:14, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly, your bank account is forever empty. i wish i had balls. _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 23:15, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: technically, my wish was granted still. every time i use my credit card, it plays jingle bells. so technically, even if my bank account is empty and has zero cash, every time i use it, it would still play the sound (if you, uh, expand the definition of use) 🍁 gergdown 🍁 🌑 23:17, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

However, your balls are so big that you can barely walk. So, I wish I lived further away from LA. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (vandalize my talk page) 23:18, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

but sadly, you are stuck in la forever. i wish this forum thread still exists 🍁 gergdown 🍁 🌑 23:19, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

sucks to be you, because it doesnt. i want a pony now, damnit! _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 23:20, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

erm actually this forum still exists. sadly, that pony asplodes, and kills you too. i wish nothing happens in 1 second from now. 🍁 gergdown 🍁 🌑 23:21, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

Sadly, things happen in that second. i wish for Shabidoo to make out with DaniPine3 for my entertainment. _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 23:23, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

you don't get to see it. i wish people actually put effort into their wishes/corruptions 23:24, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

they don't, because this is uncyclopedia. i wish to be in the mountains. _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 23:24, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

turb0 what the actual fuc—i mean, instead of being on a mountain, your inside mount everest, meaning that your body just got crushed to death. i wish i could have a european cat. 🍁 gergdown 🍁 🌑 23:25, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

Granted. You have Cat the Colourful. I wish I could have a Nerf war on top of Mount Shasta. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (vandalize my talk page) 23:26, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

you get a fuck-ton of babies on your team and are shot to death. i wish to be at pinkham notch _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 23:27, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

instead of whatever a pinkham notch is, you get to meet notch eating a pink ham sandwich. i wish for Turb0-Sunrises signature to have the timestamp before the text 23:28, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

that looks ugly. the ugly police bust you. i wish for a sandvich 23:29, 12 October 2025 (UTC) _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston

but sadly, you are gunned down. i wish to be a real boy on the hall of fame. 🍁 gergdown 🍁 🌑 21:14, 14 October 2025 (UTC)

spamtenna is made canon in chapter 5. i wish for scag to be real 21:19, 14 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly you get skagway, and are sent to skagway. i wish for another wish 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 21:20, 14 October 2025 (UTC)

Sadly your other wish also gets corrupted. I wish SIX SEVEN never existed. Soviet☭ 22:09, 14 October 2025 (UTC)

wish granted. there's no way i can corrupt that. i wish panther would stop being a furry 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 22:10, 14 October 2025 (UTC)

granted, panther is now a scalie
i wish for a free switch 2 15:05, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

Unfortunately all the games cost $80.00 . I wish I had top tier in War Thunder. Soviet☭ 15:15, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

granted, but your computer catches on fire. i wish people had good questions on ask turb0 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 15:16, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

Granted but the questions are few and rare. I wish I got nominated for NotM.– Preceding unsigned comment added by Soviet (talk • contribs)

granted, with a score of -399. i wish for a kv-2-2-2 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 15:23, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

Granted but the KV-222 is Stalin’s toy so it is OUR toy so it is not yours. I wish I was an admin. Soviet☭ 15:39, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

granted, but you become aimsplode. i wish for a new header 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 15:42, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

your wish has been granted

i wish i had an antarctic cat 🍂 gergdown 🍂 🌑 15:50, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

you get a penguin instead. i wish for you 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 15:52, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

you only get the words "you" instead. i wish something bad will happen in a second 🍂 gergdown 🍂 🌑 15:53, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly, you get shot by a bear in a trench coat. i wish for more questions on ask turbo 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 15:58, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

ask turb0 is now taking place inside a senate hearing. i wish for amogus 15:59, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly you become an amogus. i wish for an alula 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 16:01, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

Unfortunately Alula’s aren’t real. I wish my laptop could handle cycles in blender. Soviet☭ 16:05, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

you now have a bastard wing. i wish for nothing 16:05, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

you get everything instead. i wish for gen alpha to stop fucking invading this site with brainrot 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 16:06, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

Unfortunately I save brainrot articles in the ICU. I wish people would stop yelling at me to make a user page. Soviet☭ 16:09, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly they dont. i wish soviet would make a userpage 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 16:10, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

Unfortunately I may never make one. I wish I had photoshop for free. Soviet☭ 16:31, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly it's a pirated version, so you get busted by the cops. i wish i was a pilot. 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 16:32, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

Sadly you can’t even start up the Cirrus vision jet. I wish I had a non pirated version of photoshop. Soviet☭ 16:35, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly your computer explodes for unrelated reasons. i wish i knew what love was 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 16:37, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

you find out that you're aroace. i wish for the laws of physics to change 19:40, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

but sadly, isaac newton slaps you in the face. i wish for a new header 🍂 gergdown 🍂 🌑 19:46, 19 October 2025 (UTC)

^{unfortunately, the header ends up doing whatever this is}

i wish for an olula infestation to occur on this forum page 22:14, 19 October 2025 (UTC)

Sadly I don't know what that is. I wish for skins to work on mobile.Sфvieт☭ 00:19, 20 October 2025 (UTC)

Sadly they all look like shit. i wish you knew how to use colons to indent 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 00:27, 20 October 2025 (UTC)

But sadly, you still don't, because fuck you.






i wish to be crazy.

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. With rats. And rats make me crazy. ​Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. With rats. And rats make me crazy. ​

🍂 gergdown 🍂 🌑 00:29, 20 October 2025 (UTC)

Sadly you become bat-fuck insane instead, and your crazy becomes only 2 times. i wish for bullshit 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 00:36, 20 October 2025 (UTC)

it works, but you get literal bull shit. i wish this template was used more:

We all got invited here, we might as well solve a mystery n' shit.

Thank you all for meeting me in the Accusing Parlor tonight. If you're wondering what "j'accuse" means, and why I ran screaming it through the whole house, it means "I accuse" in French, and it's what people say when they accuse people of murder. I trust you know why we're all here. After I was mysteriously invited to this party, and after people started mysteriously dying, I decided to put my internet degrees in Criminology, and Criminography, to good use. But to accuse people of homicide, I have to start at the beginning.

The Chilling Investigation

Photographic evidence.

The First Murder:

I have discovered that the first murder was committed in the living room with a stained breadknife right after the first scream! There, right in the middle of everything, was the PWNED body of ', the first of the three murders of the evening. After some clever investigation, I saw that, clutched in her right hand, was an autographed photo of the pope... This was interesting, considering the conversation that had occurred at the dinner table... COLONEL MUSTARD!

At Dinner

I think we all remember bragging about her job as an auctioneer. I remember the conversation she had with the Colonel being very awkward: full of pauses and hiccups and throat clearing. Also, she ordered a strange dish for a woman in her position: the dried monkey heads. That dish has special significance in Massachussets, as the Colonel well knows. Now, I know for a fact that the Colonel had served overseas in that region for nigh five years. However, dinner was not the only thing linking the Colonel to the crime. It was the second murder that convinced me to start looking for clues.

The Second Murder: Willy on wheels

The second murder occurred 54 seconds after the first. Willy on wheels was found with a look of surprise on his face in the treehouse with a spear sticking out of his chest. In there with him was a wig made of gorilla fur. I recall him telling us, before he went outside, that he had some "business" to take care of. I thought that it was strange that he would go outside so abruptly in the first place, because it was cold. And also there were bats. I don't like bats.

I believe that the evidence speaks for itself.

Willy on wheels

There are some things that you all must know about Willy on wheels before we continue. I had a personal investigator research his past before I called you all in here. Here's what we now know:

• AGE: It's hard to believe it, but Willy on wheels was nearly 97 years old. It's odd, I mean, considering what he did on his days off.

• HOBBY: I have discovered that Willy on wheels had a penchant for making Humble figurines. He has, on numerous occasions, used his knowledge of this hobby at his job.

• OCCUPATION: Willy on wheels used to be a wedding photographer until he was fired... for mysterious reasons. Reasons that neither I nor my investigator could uncover. I'm almost positive that he held a grudge for what he probably saw was an indignity. This grudge manifested itself in strange ways. Few of you probably know of Willy on wheels's sordid past.

• SORDID PAST: Willy on wheels has been convicted on several misdemeanor counts of mayhem. Considering 's occupation, I believe you can ALL see the connection.

This leads me to the, for lack of a better word, "AWKWARRRD" between he and at dessert-time.

Everyone agrees that the chef WAS, IN FACT, Asian.

Dessert

You may all recall the conversation at dinner, when Willy on wheels challenged to a best-of-9 Tic Tac Toe championship. When she refused the fourth time, Willy on wheels seemed discouraged. When she accepted on the fifth time, Willy on wheels forced us to watch the two of them play for two hours, and he forced the third murder victim to keep score.

The Third Murder: Your dad

Four hours after the second murder, Your dad was found. She had been hung by a thread in the upstairs closet. If you recall, she kept score of the "game" between and Willy on wheels. However, I bet you didn't know that she was an accomplice to Willy on wheels's various crimes! For 8 months, Your dad was the getaway driver of Willy on wheels's public nudity ring! That's right. I bet you didn't know that.

The Evidence

Your dad examining the suspicious golf trophy (from the fourier) on the front lawn, right before dinner was served.

The Murder Weapons

The murder weapons, you all may have noticed, were all items from Wal-Mart. You also may have noticed that all the murder weapons, except for the suspicious golf trophy, were stained with the victim's blood afterwards.

The Satin Glove

At each crime scene, a satin glove was found. Oh wait, did I not mention that? Sorry. Aaanywho, the gloves were all of the same size, and Colonel Mustard was seen wearing one at dinner, during the wrestling match, during dessert, and after he found the body of Willy on wheels.

The Suicide Notes

At each crime scene, the victim was holding a suicide note. The suicide note was always written in a firm aristocratic lettering with a blue 1997 model BiC fountain pen on parchment scented with whale oil. Of particular note was the suicide note found with Your dad, which was signed "CM".

The final piece of the puzzle.

The Suspicious Cook

The cook, who only spoke in Yiddish, was especially suspicious, considering that he was of Korean ancestery, wore a long twirling mustache, and had a tattoo of two dragons being intimate on his forearm.

The Missing Rifle

Even though it was never used, the rifle that was hanging in the trophy room disappeared right before the lights went out.

The Electric Failure

Right before, or after, the murder of , the lights went out. I know that the fuse box is outside, far away from the murder scene. I also know that THE COLONEL used to be an electrician before joining the Coast Guard. However, I will need time to process this information.

The Confession Note

The confession note that was found with the suspicious golf trophy reads as follows:

Being of sound mind and body, I, the suspicious Asian chef, hereby declare that I 
committed all the crimes, and take full responsibility. It was not any of the other
guests, including the handsome Colonel, and I did it. I did it, I killed 'em.
Signed,
CM

However, I'm not fully convinced that the suspicious Asian chef really did write that note, considering that he only spoke Yiddish. It goes in the evidence pile anyway, as evidence that the suspicious Asian chef was lying.

The Suspects

One of the suspects now in custody.

After considering all the evidence, and gathering all the clues, I have narrowed down the list of suspects to four.

Me

Every good investigator has to include all the options. Maybe I just forgot that I committed them. Maybe I was drunk. Maybe I was under hypnosis. Maybe I forgot that I forgot. Maybe I was drunk while under hypnosis. I'm not sure. Anyway, I will recuse myself from this investigation because I'm cool like that.

You

Well, I mean, since there's only three of us, and since your signature, "CM" was on all the "suicide notes", I'm guessing it's you, Colonel. However, like you said earlier, it's true that I could have forgot that I committed the murders, and it's true that I wasn't paying attention the whole time, and it's true that I also know how to fire guns, and it's true that I'm not perfect. Okay, okay, calm down. We still have two more suspects to go.

This case (artist's depiction)

The Chef

The chef, being an Asian, is almost at the top of my list. Asians are a tricky folk, full of tricks and trickery. In spite of that, he was gone when the murders were committed, and his hand didn't fit in the satin glove, which basically clears him... Okay, okay, it's true that he could have a twin... and he IS Asian... and that confession note was nearly suspicious...hmmm...

Indian Burial Grounds

This all could be a horror movie, and we're living in a house built on ancient Indian burial grounds. I mean, it could be.

The Conclusion

It is as I always suspected: THE CRIME...is unsolvable! I don't understand the link between the clock in the dining room stopping and the second murder. Or the hamster that brought with her and the missing hunting rifle. Or the suspicious cook, the suspicious invitations, and the bookcase full of human skulls. Or the broken lamp in the living room. This crime is unsolvable, and I'm getting the HELL outta here. I've had enough of this nuthouse.

🍂 gergdown 🍂 🌑 00:50, 20 October 2025 (UTC)

---

I wish Canada made the leaf on their flag purple --Fish on skates (spook) 👻 22:16, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

@Fish on skates: wish granted. but it's changed to purple leaf as a reminder that the country has been taken over by McDonald's mascot Grimace, who plans to take over the world and spread his toxic goop everywhere.
I wish Deltarune was released tomorrow. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 22:33, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

Sadly, tomorrow is in 20 years. i wish for vfh to be way more fair 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 22:37, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: wish granted. vfh is now more fair to every user but you.
I wish to make a succesful indie videogame. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 22:38, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly, it sucks. i wish for a bowl of solid cheese 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 22:41, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: you get your bowl of cheese, but it turns out it's the very same cheese from the Diary of a Wimpy Kid book series, meaning that now you have the cheese touch.
I wish I was the President of the United States. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 22:42, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

akshually you can't because you don't live there. i wish for a bowl of mac and cheese 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 22:43, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: isn't the whole premise that I do get my wish fulfilled, but with a disappointing downgrade? so it can't be just "you actually don't get your wish lol"
also why do you crave a bowl of cheese so much 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 22:46, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

i fuckin love cheese. 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 22:47, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

New Header

@Turb0-Sunrise:I can see you indeed love cheese
so, are you going to fulfill my wish but with a downgrade? or are you out of creativity at the moment for that? 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 22:49, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

yes 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 22:50, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

I wish edit conflicts weren't a thing --Fish on skates (spook) 👻 22:51, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

@Fish on skates: wish granted. now edit conflicts aren't a thing because the whole internet shuts down to never be recovered again.
I wish I could go back in time. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 22:52, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

@DaniPine3: you can only go back 1 second at a time, with a 2 second cooldwon --Fish on skates (spook) 👻 22:54, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

@Fish on skates: well, that's just wonderfull.
and your wish is...? 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 22:58, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

I wish that every ASBOWAAT was unlocked again --Fish on skates (spook) 👻 23:00, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

done, but they end up becoming so popular that you get edit conflicted every time you try to edit it
i wish for the 23:09, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

You get "the", by which I mean The Horse Emoji. 🐎 I wish to no longer be unemployed. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (vandalize my talk page) 23:14, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: you are now employed, but are only paid 1 cent every year and can't get out of this new job for the rest of your life.
I wish I could fly. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 23:26, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

@DaniPine3: Granted, but if you touch any walls or the ground, you die, just like the Flappy Bird. I wish that I had a swimming pool in my backyard. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (vandalize my talk page) 23:29, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: you now have a swimming pool, but for some reason water instantly evaporates whenever it touches it, meaning you can't use it for swimming.
I wish to be able to stop time. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 23:32, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly, it only stops for you, so you are stuck forever. i wish i could kick a football without lucy pulling the damn thing away every time 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 23:34, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: you manage to kick the football, but it had a big block of cement of it, which breaks your feet and leaves you handicapped for the rest of your life.
I wish I could ride a unicorn. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 23:36, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

sucks to be you, because you need to have its horn up your ass every time you ride it. i wish for a girlfriend 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 23:37, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: you get a girlfriend, but she turns out to be a serial killer and murders you in the most painfully way possible. also, your corpse was never found.
I wish I could talk to animals. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 23:40, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

Sadly, all they tell you is "food water sex sex water food sex water food food food sex". I wish that I could still surf on my belly like I could when I was a little kid. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (vandalize my talk page) 23:41, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: you manage to surf on your belly, but an envious surfer rips you apart and attaches your miraculous belly to their body.
I wish I discovered the cure for cancer. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 23:44, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

Sadly, you find a cure for only fingernail cancer, and die of brain cancer. i wish for a non-serial killer girlfriend 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25 00:06, 30 October 2025 (UTC)

Your wish is granted; you get a serial killer boyfriend instead. I wish Knife Girl was real 01:02, 30 October 2025 (UTC)

@Alula: she wears socks with sandals. I wish for more toasters please --Fish on skates (spook) 👻 01:58, 30 October 2025 (UTC)

Unfortunately, your toasters come with forks in them. I wish for no new headers. Sфvieт☭ 21:16, 30 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly, they are important for orginization, so hundreds are added. i wish for a non-serial killer girlfriend who is actually a woman 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25

Granted, you now have a Discord kitten. I wish to become supreme leader of North Korea. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (vandalize my talk page)

sadly, you get nuked by the US right after taking office. i wish for a non-Discord non-serial killer girlfriend who is actually a women 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25

@Turb0-Sunrise: you wrote the plural "women" instead of the singular "woman", which means that now your non-Discord non-serial killer girlfriend is actually several people at once (a.k.a. a girlfriend with multiple personality disorder).
I wish to end the eternal cycle of suffering and rebirth. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 22:41, 30 October 2025 (UTC)

A story built one sentence at a time is locked by administrator decree. I wish for all the wishes from here on out to be anonymous within the source code (basically, you have to sign with your timestamp only) 22:45, 30 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly, my timestamp basically tells you right out who i am. i wish that all the ASBOxAATs were unlocked 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25

sadly for you, the page called "all of the ASBOxAATs" is unlocked. i wish we started these corruptions with a word that isn't sadly or any of its synonyms 🍂 gergdown 🍂 🌑 00:03, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

Sucks to be you, because they use "sucks to be you" exclusively. i wish for a non-discord non-serial killer girlfriend who is actually a woman 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25

@Turb0-Sunrise: you get your non-discord non-serial killer girlfriend who is actually a woman, but later you find out she was actually your long lost sister, and the police arrest you both for your incestuous relationship.
I wish for world peace. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 08:14, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly, the world gets blown to pieces instead. i wish for a non-discord non-serial killer girlfriend who is actually a woman who is not related to me 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25

Since all living creatures on Earth are related if you go back far enough, your girlfriend is an alien. But congratulations, you've just proven the existence of extraterrestrial life! I wish that Turb0 would stop reusing his same wish over and over again. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (vandalize my talk page) 16:22, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

Sadly, he wishes to date YOU instead. i wish for a big ass block of cheese 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25

Unfortunately, the block of cheese literally has a big ass, which it shakes at you whenever you try to eat it. I wish I had a flying kayak. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (vandalize my talk page) 16:30, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

sadly, it can only fly directly straight into a cliff. i wish for more for votes on my article 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25

they're all "against" votes. i wish for this endless train of wishes to end 16:55, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

it only ends because the internet shuts down forever. i wish for more for votes on my article 👻_CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻05:41 11 6 '25

@Turb0-Sunrise: you get more for votes on your article, but right after it's about to be featured the Uncyclopedia servers go down.
I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller; I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 17:48, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

you are now AZ from pokémon. i wish for christmas to be over already 17:52, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

@alula: since christmas is over, there are no more pine trees meaning danipine3 gets thanos snapped out of existence and since you and danipine3 are the same person you get thanos snapped out of existense --Fish on skates (spook) 👻 20:16, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

@Fish on skates: oh well, guess I don't exist now.
...and your wish is...? 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 20:23, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

i wish hatsune miku was real --Fish on skates (spook) 👻 20:25, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

@Fish on skates: Hatusne Miku becomes a real celebrity, and just like any real celebrity, she is later revealed to be a horrible person that did despicable things to get rich quick.
I wish I had natural pink hair. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 20:51, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

Your wish is granted but your hair falls off. I wish for my user page to be deleted. Sovieт☭ 21:08, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

@Soviet: your userpage is deleted, but so is your talkpage, and your user account, and your history search, and your ID, and your birth certificate, and yourself, and everything about you ceases to exist.
I wish I didn't need to go to the bathroom for the rest of my life. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 21:12, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

You never need to use the bathroom anymore but your bladder explodes. Sovieт☭ 21:17, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

@Soviet: And your wish is...? --Fish on skates (spook) 👻 21:20, 31 October 2025 (UTC)

It seems this forum got silent recently, so I'll try reviving it by adding a new thread to the pile.

I wish this forum doesn't die yet, because it was quite interesting and funny. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 12:22, 2 November 2025 (UTC)

Unfortunately, it becomes a zombie forum. I wish for the house at 595 Claremon Rd, Billings, Montana to become a rocketship. 12:25, 2 November 2025 (UTC)

@alula: The house in question becomes a faulty rocket and somehow crashes against your house.
I wish humans had tails. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 12:52, 2 November 2025 (UTC)

The tails weigh so much that everyone's backs break. I wish for christmas advertising to be forbidden from January throughout November each year. 13:09, 2 November 2025 (UTC)

@alula: the ban causes die-hard Christmas fan to create the Jolly Brigade, a terrorist organization that attacks every holiday to stirr holiday cheer with fear.
I wish I had a catgirl gf. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 13:22, 2 November 2025 (UTC)

@DaniPine3: sadly, it's one of those weird as fuck ones. i wish for a tree _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston

Unfortunately, your tree catches on fire. I wish for more UnNews articles. Sovieт☭ 13:45, 2 November 2025 (UTC)

@Soviet: They're all one word or phrase repeated over and over again. I wish Uncyclopedia had a decent article about Project Sekai that didn't get deleted --Dame Fish on skates CUN 15:43, 3 November 2025 (UTC)

sadly, it was made by an IP and sucks to everybody but the IP. i wish for my article to get featured already _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston

@Turb0-Sunrise: Oh, it gets featured... on VFD. I wish for more wishes. --Dame Fish on skates CUN 15:47, 3 November 2025 (UTC)

sadly, the genie giving them to you gets annoyed and kills you. i wish for evil _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston

your wish isn't granted. i wish for the cabbage template to be substituted onto this page 16:25, 3 November 2025 (UTC)

sucks to suck, because it gets transcluded onto EVERY page, making the servers explode. i wish for a bowl of cereal _KUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston

@turbz: It turns out to be a cereal killer and it cereal kills you. I wish for a real puzzle potato that I can eat --Dame Fish on skates CUN 16:37, 3 November 2025 (UTC)

@Fish on skates: the puzzle potato was not properly cleaned, and you get a billion viruses from eating it.
I wish for a gamer PC with rainbow lights. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 20:30, 3 November 2025 (UTC)

@DaniPine3: It makes you even more addicted to Uncyclopedia than you already are. I wish my userpage was featured somehow. --Dame Fish on skates CUN 20:35, 3 November 2025 (UTC)

@Fish on skates: because your userpage is now present on the main page, hackers can trace you easier and they end up doxxing you.
I wish Santa Claus died. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 21:30, 3 November 2025 (UTC)

@DaniPine3: John ASBOWAAT takes his place. I wish college students could major in Uncyclopedia. --Dame Fish on skates CUN 22:27, 3 November 2025 (UTC)