User talk:Gergdown

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This is Gergdown's talk page, also known as a pile of hot garbage. It's garbage. This is also a page where you can send shit, poo, and garbage to Gergdown.

THE THREE GERG RULEZ:

1. I don't really care if you sign. (It's because I'll just add it myself.)

2. No AI. (Please.)

3. Go wild! You only have a short time in this world, spread out in the infinite view of space that seemingly goes on forever and ever... but doesn't that give life meaning?
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archived 2.0[edit source]

🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 19:25, 31 December 2025 (UTC)

boo Sun-asplode.gifSir Turb0-Sunrise de la BostonSun-asplode.gif 19:28, 31 December 2025 (UTC)

UnSignpost delivery for January 1, 2026[edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH
January 1, 2026 • Issue #237 • Archives • Press Room
I forgot how to write these things.

By ARandomPage
After having my the UnSignpost stolen revived by Turb0-Sunrise and Fish on skates, going on monthly month-long hiatuses for 3 years (what do you mean it's been 3 years since I was active???), and forgetting Uncyclopedia's existence despite frequently lurking in its discord server, I have forgotten how to write an UnSignpost. How do I use the template (which I myself modified back in 2022)? What do all these inputs mean? How do I write things? I'm quite sure the UnSignpost wrapper used to be centered! What's even happening in this site these days? AAAAAAAAA!

Anyway, it should be January 2026 for everyone here, right? ... Right? So, first UnSignpost of the year goes to me. I sure do love collecting meaningless achievements and titles! ...gosh, what do I even do here anymore? What am I allowed to put in this signpost, again?Deltarune can be tomorrow again By ARandomPage
As it is now 2026, the possibility for tomorrow to be the release day of Deltarune Chapter 5 has become existent once more. Despite the halfway mark of their game having been attained, new chapters are not likely to stop the insanity of Deltarune fans. Assuming Chapter 5 is not shadow-dropped and instead has a release date announced, the world will once again have a day where "tomorrow" means "the day after today" instead of "the day a new chapter of Deltarune releases". Once that happens, there will only be up to 2 Deltarune Tomorrows until the world's concept of tomorrow returns to something that doesn't always mean Deltarune.




Biopic I don't know what a biopic is

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  • Oh, it meant stuff like Special:Log and stuff. Well, gotta use these sounds I recorded from inside a literal log somehow. We're keeping it in.

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VFH Highlight Of The Week I love you brah (4.5/0)

From The Forums

UnSignpost News ARandomPage writes her first UnSignpost in 3 years. She has forgotten how to do that.

Quote(s) of the Week miaaow mrrow mrrp miaow meow mreooow -Alula

ARandomPage, also named Space (ARandomTalkPage) (ARandomContributionsPage) 13:36, 1 January 2026 (UTC)

ok now i get to brag[edit source]

i have 7 votes for this month. IT'S THE FUCKING FIRST! Sir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 23:58, 1 January 2026 (UTC)

Yeah, you can now legally brag about this. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 23:59, 1 January 2026 (UTC)
also do you like this new sig Sir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 23:59, 1 January 2026 (UTC)
It's truly a Turb0-Sunrise/Darkmode 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 00:01, 2 January 2026 (UTC)

oh wow[edit source]

you're tied with arandompage for the worst admin nomination in history Sir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 01:58, 2 January 2026 (UTC)

Okay, you say that, but literally on the same page is a nomination with a score of -0.5??? Also, the worst nomination is obviously Shabidoo's right gay testicle. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 02:05, 2 January 2026 (UTC)

Deltarune[edit source]

Should I get it? Soviet☭ (Ask for free votes) 14:38, 2 January 2026 (UTC)

@Soviet: Here's what I think: Yeah, with several notable precautions. It's a really great game! You probably just need a basic understanding of how Undertale works. Don't worry, that's easy. It's basically just an RPG but it's also a Touhou-like game? Like, the enemies actually fight you in a battle box which you can move your SOUL around. If you know that, that's all you need to know. Hell, I actually didn't play Undertale before this... played it easily.
Here's what NOT to do though: Don't do what I did and play all the chapters in one sitting. I was a casual guy before I played it, but I got hooked. Then the game and fandom consumes you like a black hole. TL;DR: Eh, sure, but don't fall into the Deltarune rabbit hole like Alula and DaniPine, who have lost their ability to write! Oh, and probably don't join one of the Deltarune discord servers. They eat you whole and consume your liver. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 15:38, 2 January 2026 (UTC)
i can write just fine. i just choose not to Alula.gifAlula.gif 15:55, 2 January 2026 (UTC)
oneshot and deltarune beating up your ability to write like that one comic with the buff guys --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 17:46, 2 January 2026 (UTC)
which one? Alula.gifAlula.gif 20:35, 2 January 2026 (UTC)
this one --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 21:40, 2 January 2026 (UTC)

ERM, ACTUALLY[edit source]

shabidoo put that "agressive" there Sir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 15:24, 2 January 2026 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: They DID??? I didn't know Shabi can Shabifuck up this hard... 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 19:26, 2 January 2026 (UTC)
i shall trout shab now Sir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 22:24, 3 January 2026 (UTC)
who can misspell whale the most? i currently win with "wl" --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 22:37, 3 January 2026 (UTC)

hey[edit source]

the top 10 graph needs to be updated Sir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 00:12, 6 January 2026 (UTC)

Woops. Will fix that soon! 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 02:14, 6 January 2026 (UTC)

guess what[edit source]

only 8 edits away from 10 thousand Sir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 18:21, 6 January 2026 (UTC)

She un on my sign till I post[edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things
January 7, 2026 • Issue #238 • Archives • Press Room
So many awards, holy shit.

By Turb0-Sunrise
Holy. Fucking. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
With the new year comes the yearly awards. The scramble of the top 10. The xOTY nominations.
Alright, let's get the fuck down to business.
First off, I have a UOTM nomination open. I have 7 votes already. side note, you should vote for me. side note over.

Now, I have a UOTY too. But that's not the end of it. don't waste your time here

And to cap it all off, I have a WOTY nom too!Turb0-Sunrise hits 10,000 edits By Fish on skates
Some dude Turb0-Sunrise has officially got 10,000 edits as of January 6, 2026. He's only been on here for like 5 months. To put that in perspective, Alula has been around since late 2021 and has around 30,000 edits. You do the math.

ColonelKurtz is back By Fish on skates
ColonelKurtz, who took an involuntary unbreak back in October, has returned. Here's hoping he learned from whatever brought on that involuntary break!



Biopic This biopic is about biopics. There are many different ways to write them, but I'm trying out writing them in the style of ARandomPage, who half the time treats this section as another story. I'm lazy, etc. On to the fanmail!

Ask Turb0

  • Do you think Deltarune is Tomorrow? — ARandomPage
  • When's the next time I come back to this site? — ARandomPage
    • when deltarune comes out
  • what did you get for krismas — Fish on skates
    • coal



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UnSignpost News nobody is doing the daily news anymore we are all LaziBums. if you want to complain please put it in the next daily news issue.

Quote(s) of the Week

“OH BOB SAGET”

--Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 19:50, 7 January 2026 (UTC)

gerg's terrible sig test[edit source]

{{User:Gergdown/sig/fall|User:Gergdown}} 02:47, 10 January 2026 (UTC)

OH DEAR MAN BAGA DABOOSH WHY DID THAT HAPPEN 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 02:48, 10 January 2026 (UTC)
did somebody forget to check the "treat as wikitext" box Yankees suck.pngTurb0-Sunrise de la YANKEES SUCK!Yankees suck.png 02:49, 10 January 2026 (UTC)
No, I just... added an extra nosubst template for some reason. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 02:50, 10 January 2026 (UTC)
that's even more dumbass! Yankees suck.pngTurb0-Sunrise de la YANKEES SUCK!Yankees suck.png 02:50, 10 January 2026 (UTC)
You STUPID DUMBASSARY USER! How do you not know the proper way to speak the English language, Gerg? As we all know, the correct way of spelling nosubst is nosubst!!! Obviously not nosubst|nosubst!!! In fact, since you said that, not only have you offended me, but the entire history of the Anglo-Saxon language chain, Gerg. --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 04:26, 10 January 2026 (UTC)
Why did you add the {{!}}? OᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏSeahawk.pngHAWK TUAH! (vandalize my talk page) 04:28, 10 January 2026 (UTC)

so that the pipe is a parameter in the sig template and not in the nosubst template. --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 04:29, 10 January 2026 (UTC)

yeah, if you add a normal pipe it counts everything from then until the end brackets as a different parameter, essentially removing whatever is supposed to be there (like, let's say, a link to your userpage) Alula.gifAlula.gif 10:56, 10 January 2026 (UTC)
Pipe last man standin.jpg??? OᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏSeahawk.pngHAWK TUAH! (vandalize my talk page) 14:54, 10 January 2026 (UTC)
Sooo the reason why I did that was because I thought a ping from Cassie didn't work. But no, I just beat the ping. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 14:56, 10 January 2026 (UTC)
i've done that before Yankees suck.pngTurb0-Sunrise de la YANKEES SUCK!Yankees suck.png 17:41, 10 January 2026 (UTC)
there should be a userbox for that --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 18:50, 10 January 2026 (UTC)

You have been disqualified from the Beat A Dead Shoe Competition.[edit source]

The tribe has spoken.

Several times did you add 198 moccasins instead of 99 (although adding 100 is allowed.) OᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏSeahawk.pngHAWK TUAH! (vandalize my talk page) 21:57, 11 January 2026 (UTC)

SUCK IT GERG Yankees suck.pngGeneral Turb0-Sunrise of BostonYankees suck.png 21:58, 11 January 2026 (UTC)
@Turb0-Sunrise:@OPOSSUM: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Or maybe youv'e fallen for my TRAP! You know why? It's because I have shit to do! Therefore, I have kamikazed myself from the competition... I hope Fish gets it, though. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 21:59, 11 January 2026 (UTC)
i'm only participating because it gives me an excuse to vandalize his page Yankees suck.pngGeneral Turb0-Sunrise of BostonYankees suck.png 22:00, 11 January 2026 (UTC)
@Turb0-Sunrise: Me too. I actually don't want to be the moccasin man. Dab me up, brah! 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 22:00, 11 January 2026 (UTC)
nah, i'll just rickroll you Yankees suck.pngGeneral Turb0-Sunrise of BostonYankees suck.png 22:02, 11 January 2026 (UTC)
@Turb0-Sunrise: I've been rick rolled so many times that it doesn't even matter anymore. Not even Goatse hits me in the balls anymore. Lesbian hentai does, though. You should make that my talk page background. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 22:03, 11 January 2026 (UTC)
Okay nevermind 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 22:05, 11 January 2026 (UTC)

Template:CategoryTOC[edit source]

Isn't this the same as Template:CatBrowser? 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 14:39, 12 January 2026 (UTC)

i was gonna say something about that Yankees suck.pngGeneral Turb0-Sunrise of BostonYankees suck.png 14:41, 12 January 2026 (UTC)
@DaniPine3: @Turb0-Sunrise: No, Category TOC is the table of contents for the category. CatBrowser is a list of all categories. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 14:44, 12 January 2026 (UTC)
OOHH SHIT! Nevermind. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 14:46, 12 January 2026 (UTC)
Stinky template, that's what I'm telling ya'! They're eating our byte space, they're eating our servers! Some may say that I might be one of the dumbest users, maybe even the dumbest. All my friends would tell you that I'm the dumbest user, the worst user. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 14:50, 12 January 2026 (UTC)
maybe you're even a stupid dumbassary user Yankees suck.pngGeneral Turb0-Sunrise of BostonYankees suck.png 20:16, 12 January 2026 (UTC)

update[edit source]

the top 10 graph Yankees suck.pngGeneral Turb0-Sunrise of BostonYankees suck.png 20:15, 12 January 2026 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: Shiiiii. Sorry. Gonna fix that by tonight. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 22:37, 12 January 2026 (UTC)
@Turb0-Sunrise: Yes check.svg Done 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 23:27, 12 January 2026 (UTC)

obs 9000bc[edit source]

why was i rollbacked? i was just adding the category --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 02:15, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

@Fish on skates: Sorry for not adding a reason... busy. Uh, if you read the category description... it says "only add images and templates here". 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 02:16, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
oh dang --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 02:16, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
Literally "I WAS BORN TO LEAD, NOT TO READ." 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 02:17, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
i can't read i'm an uncyclopedia fan --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 14:13, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
@Fish on skates: Uhh... you know the guy who said that is a pedo, right? 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 01:42, 18 January 2026 (UTC)
wasn't it coined by some other guy --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 02:07, 18 January 2026 (UTC)

let's make a juicy deal[edit source]

so there's no war over who got admin first, if either of us gets nominated at the next VFS, we'll nominate the other. i.e if i get nominated, i'll nominate you, and vice versa. Yankees suck.pngGeneral Turb0-Sunrise of BostonYankees suck.png 01:41, 14 January 2026 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: Can't believe we have an actual Uncyclopedian war between us. Sure, but that's because there's a 100% chance I'm nominating you for VFS. You're just a good guy man 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 01:47, 14 January 2026 (UTC)
a [JUICY DEAL], you say? (you did this to me gerg) --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 02:57, 14 January 2026 (UTC)

gwinglebingle[edit source]

there's this neat little gadget on RDT's js file that puts a little edit count number on the top bar

$(document).ready( function () { mw.loader.using( 'mediawiki.user', function() { ( new mw.Api() ).get( { action: 'query', meta: 'userinfo', uiprop: 'editcount' } ).done( function( result ) { document.getElementById( 'pt-mycontris' ).append( ' (' + result.query.userinfo.editcount + ')' ); } ); } ); } ); Yankees suck.pngGeneral Turb0-Sunrise of BostonYankees suck.png 21:23, 14 January 2026 (UTC)

well, it's supposed to look like what it looks like in the source, but ok Yankees suck.pngGeneral Turb0-Sunrise of BostonYankees suck.png 21:24, 14 January 2026 (UTC)

An UnSignpost did it[edit source]

The UnSignpost
Try the veal!
January 14, 2026 • Issue #239 • Archives • Press Room
Everybody was here

By Fish on skates
Continuing on the "was here" userbox trend where people make userboxes saying they were here, Gammakid999, MK, and L10nM4st3r have userboxes of their own.

People have opinions on the Yankees

By Fish on skates
Turb0-Sunrise has started a "War of the Yankees". It all started when he made a "YANKEES SUCK" userbox. Noopnurf then made a "YANKEES RULE" userbox, and MK and Gamma quickly coming in to attack Noop or the Yankees or... I don't even know anymore. I'm just here to watch the chaos, which is why I made a "YANKEES NEUTRAL" userbox.

Beat a Dead Shoe contest By Fish on skates
OPOSSUM made a contest for the title of "Moccasin Man" because he's done with moccasins. Soviet's Bot won by putting the most moccasins on OPOSSUM's userpage.

Injoke created and overused, setting new record By Fish on skates
US President RealDonaldTrump made Testing the VFH widget (again) (do not feature!), a page that was meant to test some new feature. Turb0 then voted on its VFH page, with many others including me and several admins voting. Because I think I'm sooo clever, I made a VFH page for the VFH. And because Turbs also thinks he's soooo clever, he made a VFH page for that, and a VFH page for that. Gergdown also contributed somewhat to the joke. Alula later deleted the test page and closed all of the nominations.



Biopic Cassie, also known as Cassandra, is a bureaucrat I'm pretty sure, and has been around for a long time. Anyway, she's not dead. Pretty sure. She's on the active users template and I hope she stays a while.

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UnSignpost News Turbs got blocked so now I have to deliver this thing. And he was also messing with the UnSignpost template so it may look weird.

Quote(s) of the Week

“Fish "I don't change the score number" "on" skates strikes again”

– Gerg

--Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 23:41, 14 January 2026 (UTC)

That's it. I'm going to say it.[edit source]

I must confess, I actually liked Tranvit's Skoda articles. Not all AI is slop, and not all slop is AI. (But wheter AI articles belong on Uncyclopedia is another subject altogether.) OᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏSeahawk.pngHAWK TUAH! (vandalize my talk page) 14:53, 18 January 2026 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: NOOO!!!! Uh... here's an idea, if there's any you actually liked, I'll remove them from QVFD and put them on VFD to let the common mass decide. If you liked all of them... then it'd probably take eons to put them on VFD due to how cramped it is (Just increase the nom count to 30, admins!). The issue is that these are articles that only rely on the sarcastic value, and are very, and when I say this, very fucking long. I think some of them should stay on QVFD, but definitely at least one of them should be on VFD. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 15:02, 18 January 2026 (UTC)

another one, huh.[edit source]

you should know that i'm still better than you. Boston Bruins.pngTURB0-SUNRIS33Boston Bruins.png 17:16, 18 January 2026 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: Does'nt matter, my're villan arc is in full moshion! 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 18:23, 18 January 2026 (UTC)

Harry[edit source]

Well done my man. You're well on the board and on your way to climb the ranks. 32 more feature points and you'll be in the top 10. It goes faster than you'd think. Really great job this year also with your video article :) ShabiDOO 23:08, 18 January 2026 (UTC)

@Shabidoo:
When you get to that kind of longness, your shit becomes long too.
One time, on a lone Chinese farm in 500 BC, Oscar Wilde said that "the venn diagram of 'people who know mediawiki' and 'people who are funny' are two separate circles on opposite sides of the universe". And guess what? I proved 'em WRONG! I'm the CSS nerd and a pretty funny[citation needed] guy! Thus, for that statement to be true, that'd mean that I'd have to be around 880000000000000000000000 (eight hundred eighty sextillion) kilometers wide. And I'd have to write all those articles while being that long!

Seriously though, thank you bro! Special special thanks for your additions on UnBooks:Harry Potter Summarized in Less Than a Minute. I already have a pretty dang good idea for another article. 99% chance I'll work on it next week. (For the reason why my activity has dropped, I've been creating and coding a mod for a game. It's been taking my life, but it's almost done.) 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 01:57, 19 January 2026 (UTC)
new gergism just dropped --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 02:10, 19 January 2026 (UTC)
@Fish on skates: "Sir, a second Gergism has hit the Uncyclopedian servers" 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 02:11, 19 January 2026 (UTC)
more like a third --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 02:13, 19 January 2026 (UTC)

Driving in my car right after an UnSignpost[edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!
January 21, 2026 • Issue #240 • Archives • Press Room
Admins at it again

By Fish on skates
L10nM4st3r and DaniPine3 blocked each other and unblocked themselves a lot. The entertaining edit summaries were "Not banned enough yet", "blocking me when i did nothing >:[", ">:]", "Finger slipped", "Finger slipped again", and "banged my head on the keyboard". See for yourself.

The Uncyclopedia Trading Card Game

By Fish on skates
MK has potatochopped a whole bunch of trading cards of active or notable Uncyclopedians to make an article that's been requested for years.

MITK song rankings still ongoing By Fish on skates
You, yes YOU, can rank some Uncyclopedian-made songs! Part of the hit albums Make it to Ketchikan and Bust into Boston these noises you hear before you can be ranked for the second time! So what are you waiting for?



Biopic In the span of some time that I'm too lazy to count, Deemox has gone from a total noob to a slightly less total noob. He's already made an article and in my humble opinion has quite a lot of potential.

Ask Turb0

From The Logs

  • 20:20, 19 January 2026 L10nM4st3r blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 10 minutes (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) (Not banned enough yet)
  • 20:21, 19 January 2026 DaniPine3 blocked L10nM4st3r with an expiration time of 10 seconds (account creation disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (blocking me when I did nothing >:[)
  • 16:46, 21 January 2026 Therealcmack created page Kirkification (An author's descent into madness.)

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VFH Highlight Of The Week Osu! (7.5/2)

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UnSignpost News Tumbleweed01.gif

Quote(s) of the Week

“FOR THE LOVE OF JOHN, ARCHIBE!!!”

– MK on LPTEW

--Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 22:35, 21 January 2026 (UTC)

An article that is currently being made one character per edit[edit source]

Are you done making what my bot will write? Soviet☭ (Ask for free votes) 12:21, 22 January 2026 (UTC)

@Soviet: Sorry, I've been busy... I have no idea when I'll give it to you. Probably by today though 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 13:31, 22 January 2026 (UTC)
@Soviet: Before I send you the text I want your bot to shit out (its a part of the Bee movie script), do you have the option to choose where the text is added? 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 22:34, 22 January 2026 (UTC)
@Gergdown: Yes, I can. Soviet☭ (Ask for free votes) 23:24, 22 January 2026 (UTC)
@Soviet: Alright, here it is:
MARTIN
Looking sharp.
JANET
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
BARRY
Sorry. I'm excited.
MARTIN
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's.
JANET
Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair)
BARRY
Ma! I got a thing going here.
JANET


You got lint on your fuzz.

BARRY


Ow! That's me!


JANET


Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. Bye!

(Barry flies out the door)

JANET


Barry, I told you,

stop flying in the house!

(Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper)

BARRY


Hey, Adam.

ADAM


Hey, Barry.

(Adam gets in Barry's car)


Is that fuzz gel?

BARRY


-A little. Special day, graduation.

ADAM


Never thought I'd make it.

(Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving)

BARRY


Three days grade school,


three days high school...

ADAM


Those were awkward.

BARRY


Three days college. I'm glad I took

a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

ADAM


You did come back different.

(Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE:

Hi, Barry!


BARRY


Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

ADAM


Hear about Frankie?

BARRY


You going to the funeral?

BARRY

No, I'm not going to his funeral.


Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.


Don't waste it on a squirrel.

Such a hothead.

ADAM


I guess he could have

just gotten out of the way.

(The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway)


I love this incorporating

an amusement park into our regular day.

BARRY


I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations.

(Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students)

Boy, quite a bit of pomp...

under the circumstances.

(Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats)


Well, Adam, today we are men.


ADAM


We are!

BARRY


Bee-men.

ADAM


Amen!

BARRY AND
ADAM


Hallelujah!

(Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm)

ANNOUNCER


Students, faculty, distinguished bees,


please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

DEAN BUZZWELL


Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of...


9! That concludes our ceremonies.


And begins your career

at Honex Industries!

ADAM


Will we pick our job today?

(Adam and Barry get into a tour bus)

BARRY


I heard it's just orientation.

(Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses)

TOUR GUIDE


Heads up! Here we go.


ANNOUNCER


Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.

BARRY


Wonder what it'll be like?

ADAM


A little scary.

TOUR GUIDE


Welcome to Honex,


a division of Honesco


and a part of the Hexagon Group.

BARRY


This is it!

BARRY AND
ADAM


Wow.

BARRY


Wow.

(The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines)

TOUR GUIDE


We know that you, as a bee,

have worked your whole life


to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.


Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.


Our top-secret formula

ig automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured ate this soothing sweet syrup


with its distinctive

golden glow you know as...

EVERYONE ON BUS:

Honey!

(The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back)

Add it beneath the "Barry - I can't. I'll pick you up." line, and my life is not YOURS, but OURS! 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 03:20, 23 January 2026 (UTC)

January 2026[edit source]

leftYou may be blocked from editing without further warning the next time you disrupt Uncyclopedia. keep flooding recent changes and this is what happens Boston Bruins.pngTURB0-SUNRIS33Boston Bruins.png 14:30, 22 January 2026 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: Counter-arguement: Nah 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 22:19, 22 January 2026 (UTC)
counter-counter-argument: yah Boston Bruins.pngTURB0-SUNRIS33Boston Bruins.png 22:20, 22 January 2026 (UTC)

boobs lol[edit source]

the chart needs to be updated Boston Bruins.pngTURB0-SUNRIS33Boston Bruins.png 14:16, 23 January 2026 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: Will occur after one Gerg work weekday 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 01:19, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
so, never --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 02:25, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
fuck i was gonna say something Boston Bruins.pngTURB0-SUNRIS33Boston Bruins.png 14:34, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
@Turb0-Sunrise: Then say something! 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 17:23, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
something Boston Bruins.pngTURB0-SUNRIS33Boston Bruins.png 17:26, 24 January 2026 (UTC)

huya[edit source]

the fuck is the irc all about? does it open in the browser or something? i am too lazy to find out Boston Bruins.pngTURB0-SUNRIS33Boston Bruins.png 19:38, 24 January 2026 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: What's an IRC? Is it what they play Red Dead Redemption on now? 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 20:27, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
it's that thing that's in Special:Webchat Boston Bruins.pngTURB0-SUNRIS33Boston Bruins.png 20:29, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
@Turb0-Sunrise: Oh it's just Discord from my knowledge... but on Uncyclopedia! 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 20:30, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
that does not answer my question at all Boston Bruins.pngTURB0-SUNRIS33Boston Bruins.png 20:32, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
maychance this does --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 21:55, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
it did not Boston Bruins.pngTURB0-SUNRIS33Boston Bruins.png 22:36, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
maybe ask one of the older users --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 22:49, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
they don't exist anymore Boston Bruins.pngTURB0-SUNRIS33Boston Bruins.png 23:00, 24 January 2026 (UTC)
@DWIII: @Kakun: do you exist --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 23:05, 24 January 2026 (UTC)

The best image[edit source]

Biggie cheese with his first Grammy Award (circa 1996).jpg

🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 23:39, 25 January 2026 (UTC)

Half Trout[edit source]

Rainbow trout transparent.png
You've been whacked with half a trout.

It's the half of the trout that Dani hasn't eaten. Expect him to be here soon. OᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏSeahawk.pngHAWK TUAH! (vandalize my talk page) 01:48, 26 January 2026 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: Well, at least it's something to eat for the day... 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 01:50, 26 January 2026 (UTC)

AI generated articles[edit source]

Which one shall we fix first? Soviet☭ (Ask for free votes) 03:11, 26 January 2026 (UTC)

@Soviet: Hmmm... Well, technically, according to UN:AI, all AI-articles are technically QVFD-able. Howable, I do think that SOME AI articles are not slop. So what I think should happen is that we should make a forum about which AI articles should stay, and which ones should be EXTERMINATED! Well, I'm doing some homework right now, so let's do that tomorrow. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 03:24, 26 January 2026 (UTC)
probably some are rewritable --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 13:39, 26 January 2026 (UTC)

halfway to Ketchikan[edit source]

Halfway to ketchikan.png Halfway there baybeeeeee!!! or is it even halfway? is it a tenth? Who knows. Well, I guess you do. also, sorry, I accidentally put this on your user page, I removed it though.Deemox (talk) 14:37, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

also, congrats on being cool today, as it is tuesday. Deemox (talk) 14:41, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
@Deemox: It's okay brah. Also, that's like... thirty-three percent to the way to Ketchikan. Actually, there's two routes. The Alaskan route, and the British Columbian route. The BC route is at Tacoma where you DON'T go to the airport and hide in a tent (from my knowledge). The Alaskan route is where you take an airplane and crash at Whittier, just south of Anchorage. And yes, it is Tuesday, meaning that I'm cool. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 14:42, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
@Gergdown:, well one third isn't too bad from what I've done. also, I will be taking both routes. I will be taking every single damned button. by the end of this I will have clicked every single option. Deemox (talk) 14:46, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
@Deemox: FYI, the BC route is where you can find Vancouver and Vancouverite Sojourn. Also, not even a joke, you have mapped EXACTLY 33% of the game, I'm not joking. 670 pages in total. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 14:48, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
oh goodie. It's been, what, a week since I started? at this pace, and I've been procrastinating a lot, I'll be done in a couple weeks. Deemox (talk) 14:52, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
@Deemox: Do you wanna know how many pages are in Vancouver, British Columbia alone? 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 14:53, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
you know, what, tell me. Deemox (talk) 14:54, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
@Deemox: 256. Pages. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 14:55, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
oh thats not too bad. I can do that in a few days. Deemox (talk) 14:57, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
oh God I just got to the forest of bullshit oh God send help please for the love of God send help Deemox (talk) 15:18, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

also why the hell is there no checkpoint before the forest Deemox (talk) 15:20, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

because there's one right after Alula.gifAlula.gif 15:22, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
Alula please help me this is awful why are there so many fucking paths Im going to need to go through this like twenty times Deemox (talk) 15:23, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
i believe the forest is mapped like a 4x4 grid with two of the pages leading to the exit. then there's almost always a small chance of big moccasin billy to show up, obviously Alula.gifAlula.gif 15:25, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

So is this just a smaller GGG? Deemox (talk) 15:26, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

yes, except strategy is replaced with luck (tip: if the chance for billy is minimal then he won't show up and you can't die on that page. if it's extreme then he's guaranteed to show up instead) Alula.gifAlula.gif 15:28, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

Ah, ok thank you you... whatever animal you are. Bird? Deemox (talk) 15:29, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

i guess so, yeah Alula.gifAlula.gif 15:30, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
alright, I'm gonna take a break from this and write another article about a random guy.any suggestions for random guys? Deemox (talk) 15:32, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
oh boy, so many random guys to choose from. we got John Jay, Richard Henry Lee, Roger Sherman, William Jackson, and Alan Moore. so many good choices Deemox (talk) 15:34, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
Special:WantedPages has a couple random guys to choose from --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 15:52, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
@Fish on skates: yes that was where I was looking. Do you think you could help me clean up my Charles Carroll of Carrollton Article? I'm trying to get the user box thing to work but I cant seem to get it to do the thing. Deemox (talk) 16:05, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
@Deemox: it should work now. images should be [[File: not [[File| hope this helps --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 16:19, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
@Fish on skates: thank you! do you think it's good enough now to remove the ICU thing? Deemox (talk) 16:22, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
@deemox: i'd maybe check with whoever put that tag there first --Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 16:38, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
@Alula:
Here's a map of that forest.
That forest at Six Rivers National Forest is not a 4x4 grid. OᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏSeahawk.pngHAWK TUAH! (vandalize my talk page) 16:49, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
@OPOSSUM: do the two exits exit in different spots or is just two different exits? Deemox (talk) 17:10, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
oh ok, got it. i just remembered there being 17 pages of the forest and assumed it was a 4x4 grid with an exit Alula.gifAlula.gif 17:15, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
ugh can I just put that map into the chart and credit whoever made it? I really don't want to have to draw all those arrows and check every subpage. GGG at least was a simple grid. Deemox (talk) 17:20, 27 January 2026 (UTC)
alright I don't care I just put the map in the chart. I really do not wanna do that when there's already a map of that area. Sue me. Deemox (talk) 17:28, 27 January 2026 (UTC)

Hey, that bump is shaped like the UnSignpost![edit source]

The UnSignpost
Better than grandma's cookies!
January 28, 2026 • Issue #241 • Archives • Press Room
Viva la revolution

By Fish on skates
Gergdown has unleashed an "Agenda 2026" that aims to make Uncyclopedia great again, one edit at a time. This plan has quite a few people onboard already, probably because people will join anything advertised in a big fancy box.

Teh Epik Duck unbanned, retires

By Soviet, Turb0-Sunrise, and Fish on skates
"Newcomer" and Wikipedia sock puppeteer has finally gotten unbanned after socking and vandalism. Three months ago, Teh Epik Duck consistently vandalised talk pages, forums and encyclopedic articles before being banned by Alula for being a dick.

In an attempt to bypass his ban, Teh Epik Duck told Alula

“Unblock me now you retard.”

– Teh Epik Duck

clearly showing this was his masterstroke. He resorted to socking but was quickly banned for an extended period of three months.

However, Duck requested his userpage and subpages be deleted as he has retired. Miss him, miss him.

Last chance to vote! By Fish on skates, who hasn't yet voted on the top 10
Time's running out to vote for the xOTY awards and the top 10 articles of 2025! So what are you waiting for? Get your LaziBum to the polls and be opinionated!



Biopic It was L10nM4st3r's birthday on the 25th. He's the guy that made the original a story built one word at a time, a cat-loving bot, the word "tytpo", and everyone's favorite page-blanking recent-changes-flooding userscript. Here's to another year of mastering lions, or lioning masters, I'm not sure.

Ask Turb0

  • Do you drive a Saab 900? — Gammakid999
    • what the fuck is that
  • opinions on said Saab 900? — Fish on skates
    • see above
  • have you attended Harvard? I'm working on a conspiracy theory and need to know. Also do you like burger king? — Gammakid999
    • i attended fenway park
  • do you even intend to answer any of these questions? — alula
    • yes and no at the same time
  • What is your home address? (I need it for the theory) — Gammakid999
    • take your mother's. don't change anything about it.
  • What operating system do you use? — Soviet
    • one that's better than gerg's
  • Do you edit at school/work? — Soviet
    • yes

From The Logs

  • 01:52, 26 January 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Fish on skates with an expiration time of 1 minute and 40 seconds (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (suggesting that I, an ADMIN, should get banned. this is clearly conspiracy against the [totally non-existent] cabal!!!)
  • 02:18, 26 January 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Fish on skates with an expiration time of 1 minute and 41 seconds (account creation disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (idea of Turb0-Sunrise (plus, you edit conflicted on my own talkpage!!!!))
  • 00:32, 28 January 2026 DaniPine3 huffed page Your Article Name (wtf is this: content was: " == The Bee Movie Script == {{", and the only contributor was "Soviet's Bot")

Top VFH Competitors

VFH Highlight Of The Week Rob Gronkowski (13/0)

From The Forums

UnSignpost News

Quote(s) of the Week

“OH BOB SAGET!!! SHIT. SHIIIT. GOD DAMN IT!!!”

“I BLEED CANADA! OH CANADA! OH CANADA! OH CANADA! OH CANADA! OH CANADA! OH CANADA! OH CANADA! OH CANADA! OH CANADA! OH CANADA! OH CANADA! OH CANADA! OH CANADA!”

– Gergdown

--Dame Fish on skates Fish on skates.gif CUN 20:17, 28 January 2026 (UTC)

negative zero[edit source]

How the fuck did that happen?? Surprised.png GlitchyZorua 🎩🦊 (give floofy hug) 04:01, 29 January 2026 (UTC)

@GlitchyZorua: Why would I know? I'm no mind reader! 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 04:03, 29 January 2026 (UTC)
Orz... Oh.. I.. see what I did wrong... Oops. Special0.png GlitchyZorua 🎩🦊 (give floofy hug) 04:06, 29 January 2026 (UTC)
I didnt even know its possible to even get negative zero! Some fucked up math going on there... GlitchyZorua 🎩🦊 (give floofy hug) 04:06, 29 January 2026 (UTC)
I blame all my issues on Albert Einstein. He's responsible for math! I think... no actually, it was an Arabian guy from India, I think. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 04:07, 29 January 2026 (UTC)
Yeah... Dizzy.png GlitchyZorua 🎩🦊 (give floofy hug) 04:12, 29 January 2026 (UTC)

song revamp[edit source]

if you can, use this version of 16-bit night Sir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 15:33, 29 January 2026 (UTC)

also

is article funny so far Sir Turb0-Sunrise de la Boston 20:51, 29 January 2026 (UTC)

@Turb0-Sunrise: Uhh... busy. Kinda busy. Pretty busy. Okay, very busy. 🍂 gergdown🍂(talk) ☀️ 00:30, 30 January 2026 (UTC)
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