Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/Archives/244

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The UnSignpost
In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!
February 18, 2026 • Issue #244 • Problems: 99
Current issue • Archives • Press Room
ColonelKurtz permabanned banned permabanned
By Turb0-Sunrise and Fish on skates

Holy shit. They actually did it. ColonelKurtz got banned by Alula for "repeated creation of garbage pages, spamming discussions with gibberish/irrelevant messages, generally just being a dick, etc." Following a brief change of the blocking time to 2 hours by DaniPine3, Turb0-Sunrise put that one template on his page, with Soviet moving the old contents to a new page. People started taking his subpages in a process known as "article-trenching".

Aside from that, one of his last acts was voting against on my article on VFH. Soo... you could say it's mixed reactions from ol' Turb0.

You should vote for my article on VFH.

OrdinaryJoe1234 Spamming Votes for Highlight
By Soviet

For whatever reason, newcomer OrdinaryJoe1234 has been nominated a ton of articles like ChatGPT and Rickrolling. Despite being warned by Shabidoo, he has still continued nominating articles. Because of this, he has earned the nickname "The 2011th Fenris" from Fish on skates just now.

Gay gay homosexual gay
By Turb0-Sunrise

yes.

AI image controversy
By The totally not biased Fish on skates

After the purging of the AI articles helped by Gergdown's revolution thingy, people want to do something about AI images. However, everyone has a different opinion. MrX, OPOSSUM, and Noopnurf want to leave the AI images alone, but Gergdown, Turb0-Sunrise, DaniPine3, MK, and I would like to do something. After a lengthy off-topic conversation on the user talk page of recently banned ColonelKurtz, a forum was created with the title of The Noopstein Files.

wTools updates, breaks
By Fish on skates

wTools, the wildly popular [citation needed] user script by L10nM4st3r, has received an update. The changes include a blue thing in the corner, no more alternate editor, and a new template for the "Template this user" drop-down. If you snoop through some user talk pages, you'll see who uses the script because they received a message.

Biopic

Really?

There's no way.

I-I can't.

Can I write good things about them?

No?

Screw you.

Shabidoo. That is all. What, 75+ features? 15+ years here? Don't even get me started. That's just how fucking awesome Shab is.

Ask Turb0
  • How to ask a question? — ColonelKurtz
  • I have no clue. Rest in peace, mate.
  • May I write for the unsignpost? and can I have a little news boy cap? — Deemox
  • yes
  • Favourite automobile? — Soviet
  • The one that ran over that deer
  • favorite non auto mobile? — Deemox
  • Apple
  • can you meow? :3 — alula
  • what do i get for doing it?
  • {{{q5}}} --{{{u5}}} — Gammakid999
  • NO ANSWER FOR YOU COME BACK ONE YEAR
  • Favourite article? — Soviet
  • it's favorite you nincompoop (road rage)
From The Logs
  • 15:22 Alula blocked ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(ugh)
  • 20:31, 13 February 2026 DaniPine3 changed block settings for ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of 2 hours (account creation disabled) (hold on, why infinite? the guy hasn't done anything really bad now)
  • 20:33, 13 February 2026 Alula changed block settings for ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (dani don't bother, this is for his general behavior)
  • 20:42, 13 February 2026 Soviet created page User:ColonelKurtz/oldpage (←Created page with 'The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the horror...The horror...the ho...')
Deemox's Gossip Corner
  • Turb0-Sunrise spotted doing laundry, could this mean he's finally landed a date?
  • Fish on skates was seen in a coffee shop in cancoon. Waiting on a date perhaps? could it be Turb0? Is there actually a romance between the two?
  • Alula was seen outside. does this mean she's quitting uncyclopedia forever?????
  • MrX was recently spotted grocery shopping buying, get this, oranges! who buys oranges? this must mean he has scurvy.
  • Fenris2010 was (not) spotted in the dark, as grues usually are.
  • L10nM4st3r posted on face book that he is "on a walk" what could it mean?
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week
From The Forums
UnSignpost News

Because this only happens once in a whenever, we here at the USP would like to welcome Deemox agoard aboard. Fuck. Shit. You STUPID DUMBASSARY USER! How do you not know the proper way to speak the English language, Turb0? As we all know, the correct way of spelling aboard is aboard!!! Obviously not agoard!!! In fact, since you said that, not only have you offended me, but the entire history of the Anglo-Saxon language chain, Turb0.

Anyways, welcome Deemox. There's cake here somewhere. Depending on if Bill ate it all. Fuck you, Bill.

Quote(s) of the Week

“AYAYAYAYAH WAWAWA YAHAAHAYAHY WAWAWA HAYAHYAYAHAY WAWAWAWAW AUHAYAHAYAYH WAWAWAHHHHHHH GUNSHOT GUNSHOT UBLBLBLBLBBL WAWAWA JBBKBBLBLB WAWAWAWA”

– ColonelKurtz

“burger my ass”

– Turb0-Sunrise on Hypixel
Shitty deleted article of the week #1

Vegtables
They are a device to keep us helthy. They also are very hard and fast. They are as yummy as your brain.

Things you can do with them:

  • Eat the poisesn
  • become a vampire
  • die
  • FAAAAAAAA THrow them out
Notes
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