Portal:Music

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The Music Portal
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Music, first explored by Charles Darwin in the 1800s, is often considered an art form. It typically features a rhythm or beat, though some argue that it functions more like a hypnotic tool used by artists to sell CDs. When music is played, it often makes people want to dance, as its infectious rhythm seems to take control of the body. This effect is sometimes attributed to music's ability to disrupt the nervous system. Some scientists even suggest that music could be a form of disease, which may explain the premature deaths of famous musicians like Elvis and Jesus. Drummers, in particular, seem to suffer the most. Interestingly, those with no musical talent—like birds or bands such as Blink-182 and Oasis—are said to be immune. Ultimately, music may exist solely to drive listeners mad. It can take many forms, including singing, strumming, or blowing, all of which can push the boundaries of sanity. (See more...)

Featured Article
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Ronnie James Dio (born July 10, 1942, in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, USA), is a heavy metal vocalist, 42nd level magic user, midget rights activist, and children's author. When he's not recording, touring, or being fired from or rejoining Black Sabbath (or Rainbow), he's reviewing student applications at the Ronnie James Dio Institute of Lyrical Technology. And, when he's not doing that, he's busy penning another kiddie classic in his tireless pursuit of a Newbery Medal.

Written by Todd Lyons
Music in the News
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STANDISH, Maine – Eyewitnesses say the once world famous rock band KISS has ruined another high school graduation. Parents report that students at Bonny Eagle High School were lining up to get their diplomas, when all of a sudden the rock band KISS "walked in and screwed it all up."

One student was walking across the stage towards the principal when the band kicked down the door, fell all over a bunch of chairs, then drunkenly told attendees that "KISS is back, and we're still rocking all night, every night!" Paul Stanley then started trying to arm-dance with the school's principal, telling her, according to the school's vice principal, "You can Call Me Dr. Love," before falling down the raised platform where they were standing.

Written by The Woodburninator
Featured Image
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Many hundreds of Disc Jockeys were hung following the release of "Panic" by The Smiths, a dark day in music.
Image by Todd Lyons
Featured Artist
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David "give it here" Bowie (January 23 1889 - August 12 2016) is the pseudonym of former London second-hand car salesman David "Yeah, course it has an MOT" Jones. His chief claim to fame was his portrayal of a bi-sexual Alien in the early seventies.He has largely continued an unsuccessful career to the present day though bit parts in mediocre films and jumping on the latest bandwagon in Music.

Jones landed on Earth in the late 1940s, a turbulent time for Britain and the world. His early years were characterised by being bored and indulging in whatever sexual endeavours he could find. Jones would later admit to being "Try-Sexual", much to the astonishment of '90s media...

Written by Sycamore
Featured UnTunes
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Still Hurting
Well I'm still hurting so I'd be happy if you were hurting too.
Is it so much to ask that someone you love
be in constant unrelenting pain?

And I hope you stay up nights thinkin' of me
or maybe just lose your keys
Yeah, I'm waiting by the phone for you to call
and tell me, girl, that you misplaced your keys.

(Full lyrics...)

Written by Hyperbole
Further Reading
Genres
Classical
Country
Hip hop
Jazz
Pop
Rock
Other
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