Portal:Music

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The Music Portal
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Music, first explored by Charles Darwin in the 1800s, is often considered an art form. It typically features a rhythm or beat, though some argue that it functions more like a hypnotic tool used by artists to sell CDs. When music is played, it often makes people want to dance, as its infectious rhythm seems to take control of the body. This effect is sometimes attributed to music's ability to disrupt the nervous system. Some scientists even suggest that music could be a form of disease, which may explain the premature deaths of famous musicians like Elvis and Jesus. Drummers, in particular, seem to suffer the most. Interestingly, those with no musical talent—like birds or bands such as Blink-182 and Oasis—are said to be immune. Ultimately, music may exist solely to drive listeners mad. It can take many forms, including singing, strumming, or blowing, all of which can push the boundaries of sanity. (See more...)

Featured Article
The Skin Flute has greatly increased in popularity due to additives that can increase comfortable playing time by nearly four hours.

The skin flute is a musical instrument of the woodwind family. Unlike other woodwind instruments, a flute is a reedless wind instrument that produces its sound from the flow of air against an edge called "blowing". The size and shape of a skin flute is both wide spread and varied, from the 3 1/2" "Pee Wee" through to the related hybrid Pink Oboe some of which have been known to top 14 inches, with substantial girth.

The Skin Flute is traditionally not a difficult instrument to master, although some might argue that it is an acquired taste, egged on by a deep desire to play with it and lave attention on it...

Music in the News
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STANDISH, Maine – Eyewitnesses say the once world famous rock band KISS has ruined another high school graduation. Parents report that students at Bonny Eagle High School were lining up to get their diplomas, when all of a sudden the rock band KISS "walked in and screwed it all up."

One student was walking across the stage towards the principal when the band kicked down the door, fell all over a bunch of chairs, then drunkenly told attendees that "KISS is back, and we're still rocking all night, every night!" Paul Stanley then started trying to arm-dance with the school's principal, telling her, according to the school's vice principal, "You can Call Me Dr. Love," before falling down the raised platform where they were standing.

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This particular jazz trio was known for its unique harmonic choices and blatant disregard for civil liberties.
Featured Artist
All you care about is me being bald?

Sinéad O'Connor, is a popular yet peculiar and rare Irish singer-songwriter, a Rastafari adherent, and the current Emperor of the United States.

Born in the bonnie bonnie land of wee fairies and angry anarchists, O'Connor came to the fore early in the 1980s with the rolicking ballad Smish te Cat'hloc Cherch, Jah, and became known for her act of tearing up a picture of the Pope for covering up - thus actually encouraging - child molestation, and for giving a handjob to his Chief of Staff, Fadda Murphy.

Sinéad O'Connor was the founder and pioneer of the "Bald-Headed Hot Chicks" fashion movement, which later included Demi Moore, Sigourney Weaver, Natalie Portman, Britney Spears, and that dead chick from the first Star Trek movie. However, because she came before the big wave of hot bald chicks, no guys at the time thought she was hot.

Featured UnTunes
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I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)
I'm what you might call an animal lover
Horses, kangaroos and chimpanzees
But dogs and birds and fish don't satisfy me
For cats they are the sweetest, you see.

I like cats with mustard
I like cats with chili cheese
Cat sausages, cat fricassee
Won't you try some cat chili?
I think that cats are great to eat

(Full lyrics...)

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