Blondie
Blondie is a Rockabilly/techno/metalcore band from New Gloucenshire, England. They gained fame all over the world, with their many genre songs. They are perhaps, best known for their lead singer, Deborah Harry, who is in fact, a redhead.
Early Years[edit | edit source]
In the early years, Blondie really sucked. They tried to be cool, but they came out of another band called The Stilettos (named for Debbie's obsession with shoes), and then later became Angel and the Snake (again, named for Debbie's obsession with Snakes) and finally settled on Blondie because of Debbie's seemed addiction to bottle hair dye. For their first album, they had weird songs about sex offenders, sex and some slash-y lyrics. The only place it was really popular was in Australia.
The Good Years (1977-1979)[edit | edit source]
Good? Oh, yes, good. Haha. I forgot. Sorry. Anyway, after their first album, Blondie was dropped from their record label. Because, well, haha, they sucked. Their second album was considerably better, with Debbie singing songs about kidnappers, falling in love at piers, and ants in your pants (check now). They even recorded some old band's song about Denise, but no one knew any Denise's and didn't want to sing about someone they didn't know so Debbie changed the lyrics about a boy in France named Denis. It is believed that Debbie had an affair with Denis while Chris Stein had an affair with Roger Taylor. Anyway, then some guy in their band left, his name was Gary Valentine and he left because he thought he was in love. He really wasn't and then Blondie didn't care anymore because he wasn't good enough for them. Blondie became really popular with their release of their third album called Parallel Lines because of their amazing ability to sing about lines and their straightness. Among the songs on the album including a cover of two horrible songs by a band that only had four songs, The Nerves. Blondie made it considerably better, making it technoish, a rising genre during the late-1970s. Anyway, that song was called Heart of Glass and it was about the horrible things that might happen to a person if and when they received a heart made out of glass. Then all their older songs started to sell much better because they'd become very popular, outside of New Gloucenshire and Australia. So in 1979 C.E. they released their album called Eat to the Beat an album having a song for everyone of the seven deadly sins, gluttony, sloth and whatever the rest of them are.
After they did all these songs, they realized that Jimmy Destri was atomic and released the song Atomic because they didn't want some crazy Nazis to come and attack them for having an atomic band member. So after they released it they made sure that he was a-okay and well, he was doing all right. Nothing great or anything, but we found out that he now has some crazy kind of werewolf transformation after the medicine that they gave him. Something about Nutella... you have to watch out for that.
1980s and whenever else[edit | edit source]
So, yeah. In 1980 Blondie had become increasingly popular and then that guy who did something with Donna Summer wrote the song Call Me with Debbie. It was written about a girl who loved a prostitute, very strange for a song. Either way, it went to the top of the charts. But then, their next album Autoamerican was very odd. No one really liked it. It was ... strange. It had more styles of music, and not many people liked the band doing songs that well, that they weren't made for. Some people loved it though. Then Debbie Harry put out her first solo album. And it was really good. It was called like, Koo Koo or something. Chris Stein was getting bugged by the fact that they hadn't put out an album in a year. So he got all pissy with the rest of them and they finally got annoyed with it and recorded another album, The Hunter. And it sucked. It sucked harder than you have to suck to get out a Wendy's Frosty. Then Debbie realized she had a horrible addiction to bottle hair dye and Blondie disappeared for like... well a long time, I can't tell you how long right now, I'm not good at math. Oh yeah, that and Chris got very... err, sick with something like an infection or something. I don't remember what it's called. Yeah, then Blondie kinda died until 1998 when they released their new album. But there was only like four original band members and only like three of them stayed for the tour: Debbie Harry, Chris Stein, and Clem Burke. There was some other people, but I don't know who they are, so I deem them unimportant. And then like two or three years later they released another album about a curse that was put on all bottle blondes like Debbie.