Faith No More
We care a lot
About you people, who own smart phones and like to edit Uncyclopedia.
So we decided to show you how an article written using a top of the notch, Samsung Galaxy S9 looks like.
It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.
First, there will be no links in this article. If you wanna create links you need to do it manually. Which is hard and sucks ass. Also writing words in bold, should be done manually. Like this: Faith No More. That took me WAY too long to type. And it made me sick of writing this article. This is an article about Faith No More, in the style of the song "We Care A Lot". It's probly my favourite song in the whole world. And still I'm sick of this article. I'm about as sick of writing, as Roger Waters is sick of writing since he's left Pink Floyd 39 years ago. This article will probly suck as hard as Waters's Greatest Hits album, Flickering Flame. And that is pretty hard. I'm listening to "Who Needs Information" right now, actually. I remember liking this song once. Waters sounds like he is singing to his future self. Which is the current Waters. Who blames Israel of doing Apartheid. Man, this is a nice song. Waters kinda tries to be Bob Dylan here. He doesn't sing as good as Dylan though. Dylan has written the most pro-Israel song in history, by the way.
About Apartheid. Well, Waters is the one to talk. Like he didn't do a talent-Apartheid to his Pink Floyd band mates 39 years ago. Waters just thought everyone with less talent than him should be at the background. And now? Now he just thinks he is Pink Floyd. Even though the ACTUAL Pink Floyd still exists, and it doesn't include him. For 39 years now. No, the REAL Pink Floyd doesn't want to do live shows, ever since the death of founding member Richard Wright in 2008. So Waters is STILL doing the Apartheid thing and he blames ISRAEL of doing a 39-year Apartheid? Who needs information indeed. You know what, I'm gonna stick Bob Dylan's song in here right now, simply because it seems like SOMEONE who really likes Bob Dylan and who really needs some information is really living in so much denial that he would think that writing letters to all the musicians in the world asking them to boycott Israel will somehow save the dignity of his solo career.
Bob Dylan / Neighborhood Bully
Well, the neighborhood bully, he’s just one man/ His enemies say he’s on their land/ They got him outnumbered about a million to one/ He got no place to escape to, no place to run/ He’s the neighborhood bully
The neighborhood bully just lives to survive/ He’s criticized and condemned for being alive/ He’s not supposed to fight back, he’s supposed to have thick skin/ He’s supposed to lay down and die when his door is kicked in/ He’s the neighborhood bully
The neighborhood bully been driven out of every land/ He’s wandered the earth an exiled man/ Seen his family scattered, his people hounded and torn/ He’s always on trial for just being born/ He’s the neighborhood bully
Well, he knocked out a lynch mob, he was criticized/ Old women condemned him, said he should apologize./ Then he destroyed a bomb factory, nobody was glad/ The bombs were meant for him. He was supposed to feel bad/ He’s the neighborhood bully
Well, the chances are against it and the odds are slim/ That he’ll live by the rules that the world makes for him/ ’Cause there’s a noose at his neck and a gun at his back/ And a license to kill him is given out to every maniac/ He’s the neighborhood bully
He got no allies to really speak of/ What he gets he must pay for, he don’t get it out of love/ He buys obsolete weapons and he won’t be denied/ But no one sends flesh and blood to fight by his side/ He’s the neighborhood bully
Well, he’s surrounded by pacifists who all want peace/ They pray for it nightly that the bloodshed must cease/ Now, they wouldn’t hurt a fly. To hurt one they would weep/ They lay and they wait for this bully to fall asleep/ He’s the neighborhood bully
Every empire that’s enslaved him is gone/ Egypt and Rome, even the great Babylon/ He’s made a garden of paradise in the desert sand/ In bed with nobody, under no one’s command/ He’s the neighborhood bully
Now his holiest books have been trampled upon/ No contract he signed was worth what it was written on/ He took the crumbs of the world and he turned it into wealth/ Took sickness and disease and he turned it into health/ He’s the neighborhood bully
What’s anybody indebted to him for?/ Nothin’, they say. He just likes to cause war/ Pride and prejudice and superstition indeed/ They wait for this bully like a dog waits to feed/ He’s the neighborhood bully
What has he done to wear so many scars?/ Does he change the course of rivers? Does he pollute the moon and stars?/ Neighborhood bully, standing on the hill/ Running out the clock, time standing still/ Neighborhood bully
We care a lot
About you people, who own smart phones and like to edit Uncyclopedia. But as you can see, enjoying both of those things at once is only possible by pasting in an entire Bob Dylan song.
So I guess some kind of Apartheid is in order. No editing Uncyclopedia in smart phone mode. Unless it's something REALLY small. Like Roger Waters's solo career or something.