Portal:Music

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Music Portal.png
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal
By far the most musical portal you will ever find.
To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews. She loves the sound of farting.
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I love music. Sweet or savory music. Any kind of music. As long as it's groovy. And rock - it has to be rock....and it has to be straight....and it has to be from San Francisco...no wait, I don't like music. I hate music. It sounds like my dog farting. Really eggy. I'm more of a cat person.

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Highlighted Article

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The Skin Flute has greatly increased in popularity due to additives that can increase comfortable playing time by nearly four hours.
The skin flute is a musical instrument of the woodwind family. Unlike other woodwind instruments, a flute is a reedless wind instrument that produces its sound from the flow of air against an edge called "blowing". The size and shape of a skin flute is both wide spread and varied, from the 3 1/2" "Pee Wee" through to the related hybrid Pink Oboe some of which have been known to top 14 inches, with substantial girth.

The Skin Flute is traditionally not a difficult instrument to master, although some might argue that it is an acquired taste, egged on by a deep desire to play with it and lave attention on it...  (more...)

Article Credit: Mhaille View All
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Music in the News

At 11:43 last night, authorities were called to a home in California, where Theodore Seville, the drummer of Alvin and the Chipmunks, was found overdosed on a mixture of cocaine and sherbert. He was treated in hospital and discharged this morning, but his bandmates were furious and immediately fired him. In a statement, Simon said that "We have always been proud of having no drugs in this band, to the point where we refused to go on tour with The Jonas Brothers. For Theodore to undermine that is disgusting."  (more...)

Article Credit: Zombie gerbil View All
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Featured Image

Courtney Love
Courtney Love
The Messiah, according to Courtnology. Unlike prophecies, this is based in fact.
Image Credit: Tenn
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Featured Artist

File:Bowie-shocked.JPG
Bowie's crooked grimace changes quickly when the Doctor explains that things "won't be working quite the same again"

David "give it here" Bowie (January 23 1889 - August 12 2016) is the pseudonym of former London second-hand car salesman David "Yeah, course it has an MOT" Jones. His chief claim to fame was his portrayal of a bi-sexual Alien in the early seventies.

He has largely continued an unsuccessful career to the present day though bit parts in mediocre films and jumping on the latest bandwagon in Music.

Early life and entrepreneurial career

Jones landed on Earth in the late 1940s, a turbulent time for Britain and the world. His early years were characterised by being bored and indulging in whatever sexual endeavours he could find. Jones would later admit to being "Try-Sexual", much to the astonishment of '90s media...  (more...)

Article Credit: Sycamore View All
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Lyric of the Week

“No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!”

 From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)

(more...)
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Featured UnTunes

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Where are you?? You vixen!!!

Piña Coladatown

Not to be confused with Piña Coladaburg, this song is sung to the tune of Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville.

Eatin' some rum cake

Beatin' my tubesteak

Just bought a vat of coconut oil

I know that it's dirty

But I'm over thirty

And I ain't got no woman to soil

Layin' around in Piña Coladatown

Searchin' for my pineapple juice    (more...)

Musical Credit: Zana Dark View All
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Recent Articles in Music

UnTunes:No cucumbers  UnTunes:Piña Coladatown  UnTunes:Grill on fire  UnNews:Dave Mustaine is running for president  UnReviews:Wall-E (music video) NSFW  American Pie  Giant Jew Band  UnTunes:Troops on the Ground  In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida  I Am the Walrus  UnTunes:Confessions of a Telemarketer  UnTunes:Ur So Phat and you don't even like food  HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics  Industrial metal  Emo Rap  Article not about Beyonce  UnBooks:Great Abridged Pop Songs   UnTunes:I Will Possess Your Log  UnBooks:Frédéric Chopin's Guide to Better Lawn Care  MC Hammer/Lyrics  Music rating system  Slim Shady Algorithm  UnNews:My guitar solo isn't fresh enoughDubstep  Skrillex

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Musical Articles by Genre

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BAND CLASS
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Accordion Air Drum Air Guitar Bagpipes Band geeks Bass Bass Guitar Bassoon Clarinet  Cowbell Drums Euphonium Fiddle Flute French Horn Grand Piano Guitar Guitarist Harp Harpsichord Kazoo Learn Bass! Learn Guitar! Lyre Man scale Marching Band Oboe Ocarina Piano Play Guitar Saxophone Sexually Active Band Geek Skin flute Start a Band Stradivarius Synthitar Trombone Trumpet Tuba Violin Wah Wah Boing Boing Xylophone