Portal:Music

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Music Portal.png
Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal
By far the most musical portal you will ever find.
To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews. She loves the sound of farting.
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I love music. Sweet or savory music. Any kind of music. As long as it's groovy. And rock - it has to be rock....and it has to be straight....and it has to be from San Francisco...no wait, I don't like music. I hate music. It sounds like my dog farting. Really eggy. I'm more of a cat person.

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Highlighted Article

Serj-tankian.jpg
OK, so, you're crying because the angel did something that warrants the death penalty. That's deep, Serj...
So you want to write effluvial lyrics like the official Armenian-American Lebanese-born Poet of the Overwrought, Serj Tankian of genre-challenged rock band System of a Down.

The first question to ask yourself up front is, whatever for? Have the countless critical articles about his inability to pull a well-crafted subtle lyrical image out of his ass told you nothing? If so, then this article is for you. (more...)

Article Credit: GlobalTourniquet View All
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Music in the News

MIDDLE AMERICA AND/OR CANADA -- Retail monopoly and threat to America, Wal-Mart, has told ultra-lame band Green Day that it will not stock its newest CD, 21st Century Breakdown.

Wal-Mart spokesperson Fred Habbemaster told UnNews today that, "in light of the fact that some of the lyrics are salty, but mostly because Green Day has gone from dreadful to unbelievably lame, we feel it is unconscionable to foist such crap on the American public. I mean, we have a conscience, you know?" (more...)

Article Credit: Zim ulator View All
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Featured Image

Hang the DJ!
A belated favour for Morrissey.
Image Credit: Todd Lyons
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Featured Artist

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Phil Ochs photographed an hour after his death by a camera in Heaven.

Phil Ochs (born December 19, 1940, died April 9, 1976) was the major American social movement singer-songwriter of the 1960s and the initiating irritating organizer of the more satirically absurd street demonstrations of the era. And he did it all while six sheets to the wind.

Ochs, of course, long after his semi-tragic alcohol-fueled death-by-hanging in 1976, became a musical icon in the 21st century. But during his short aggravated lifetime, Phil Ochs was the essential quintessential unknown American folk artist/social activist. And, historians agree, in the end he was not a very good brother.

Phil Ochs was unknown in the 20th century for such songs as "The War is Surely Almost Over", "I'm Considering Not Marching Anymore", and "Pleasures of Your Momma", heard by hundreds during his lifetime. (more...)

Article Credit: Aleister View All
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Lyric of the Week

“No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!”

 From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)

(more...)
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Featured UnTunes

UnTunes:Piña Coladatown
Where are you?? You vixen!!!

Piña Coladatown

Not to be confused with Piña Coladaburg, this song is sung to the tune of Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville.

Eatin' some rum cake

Beatin' my tubesteak

Just bought a vat of coconut oil

I know that it's dirty

But I'm over thirty

And I ain't got no woman to soil

Layin' around in Piña Coladatown

Searchin' for my pineapple juice    (more...)

Musical Credit: Zana Dark View All
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Recent Articles in Music

UnTunes:No cucumbers  UnTunes:Piña Coladatown  UnTunes:Grill on fire  UnNews:Dave Mustaine is running for president  UnReviews:Wall-E (music video) NSFW  American Pie  Giant Jew Band  UnTunes:Troops on the Ground  In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida  I Am the Walrus  UnTunes:Confessions of a Telemarketer  UnTunes:Ur So Phat and you don't even like food  HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics  Industrial metal  Emo Rap  Article not about Beyonce  UnBooks:Great Abridged Pop Songs   UnTunes:I Will Possess Your Log  UnBooks:Frédéric Chopin's Guide to Better Lawn Care  MC Hammer/Lyrics  Music rating system  Slim Shady Algorithm  UnNews:My guitar solo isn't fresh enoughDubstep  Skrillex

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Musical Articles by Genre

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