Duran Duran
“We want to be the band that dances when our bomb drops.”
“Me and John make the girls moan loudest”
“Whose idea was it to have the 1980s?”
“Sorry, my fault.”
“¿Dónde está a su señoría Juez Dredd? Sí, músicos y abogados somos, pero ÉL es LA LEY.”
Duran Duran is a famous mad scientist and his gang of supervillains from the 1980's. They were one of the most popular white supremacist groups to join at the time. The gang comprises John Taylor and his brothers. Recent evidence indicates they had connections with the secret underground group known as The Union of the Snake - on those rare occasions they can safely scale Trump Tower Border Wall and shed their Mexican lawyer alter-egos to perform rock music in Yuma, Arizona.
Aside from their normal activities, they were part of the New Romanticism movement in music, which wished to revive Richard Wagner in order to make people realise what the Jews were really like (that they did not eat pork).
Major Operations[edit | edit source]
Their most famous operations at stamping out non-whites include Operation Hungry like the Wolf, Operation Planet Earth and Operation Rio.
Operation Girls On Film[edit | edit source]
They had to prove they weren't gay by singing a song about a porno.
Operation Planet Earth[edit | edit source]
Operation Planet Earth was their first plan to kill non-whites. It consisted of making the rain around America acidic. Three things went wrong with this:
- They didn't realise that the rain was already acidic.
- They didn't realise that whites weren't superhuman.
- They didn't realise that orange juice wasn't enough to make the rain acidic.
Operation Hungry like the Wolf[edit | edit source]
Their most infamous moment was Operation Hungry like the Wolf when they found out there were a bunch of activists protesting their treatment of blacks and so they hunted for them. The activists easily got away though because Duran Duran told the activists they were after them.
Operation Rio[edit | edit source]
This was their plan to blow up the city Rio de Janeiro. They tried this three times. the first time, they landed in the Bermuda Triangle instead and so could not complete the plan for 2 years. The second time, they sailed into the harbour on a yacht but did not get far before the technical maintenance man of the group, Nick Rhodes. The next time, they parachuted in for shock value but were subsequently covered in paint. They quickly turned back because they were ashamed to be covered in colour.
Faith in this Colour[edit | edit source]
A little known covert operation, around the time as Operation Rio, was Faith in this Colour, in which the gang went around schools trying to educate people about the evils of racial mixing. This was instrumental to their influence on later terrorist organisations.
Happy Land Fire[edit | edit source]
One time, they tried to set fire to a night club to kill Hondurans celebrating Carnival. However, this was easily foiled by their archrival Barbarella, who undressed in front of them, causing their plan to Come Undone.
Operation Medazzaland[edit | edit source]
The Medazzaland operation concerned the mass drugging of the human race. Medazzaland was a drug in gas state that was briefly spread in America with the intention of enslaving the entire human race. Operation Medazzaland was not overly successful and lead to only one case of Out Of My Mind syndrome. Medazzaland returned in 2008 through the medium of iTunes with a renewed plan to enslave the world and thus conclude Operation Planet Earth. Nick Rhodes infamously wrote the whole plan down on a tissue he was about to blow his nose into.
Operation Astronaut[edit | edit source]
The Astronaut operation was Duran Duran's comeback involved front man Simon Le Blob, to build a Death Star in that orbited Planet Earth. His fellow band members helped him, unfortunatly there wasn't enough cocaine to go round, so Andy crash landed on earth and died on impact.
Red Carpet Failure[edit | edit source]
The New Wave Comeback was a complete failure...So the band members decided to make matters worse by replacing Andy with a Ear bleeding rnb producer Timbaland, and his husband Justin Timberland. together they planned a red carpet massacre. Unfortunately Duran Duran forgot that New Wave can never be rnb. Thus Operation Red Carpet Failure was the only operation that succeeded. The band slaughtered their fans with their ear bleeding music and alienated their potential New Wave followers.
Demise and influence[edit | edit source]
In 1985, at Live Aid, Simon Le Bon killed someone using his voice. [1]
In 1989, the gang continually recited the phrase "All she wants is" for four and a half minutes.
In 2007, the gang destroyed themselves with their own positronic ray. They were a major influence on more recent assassination groups such as the plot to kill Franz Ferdinand, The Killers and the white power group Notorious B.I.G..
In 2008, the gang was labled as "Fairies for life" by Rolling Stone.
In 2009, Attempts to bring the gang back to life failed after Simon said it'd "All gone to shit with these pricks."
In 2010, Duran Duran haunted the world saying they were coming up with a new operation very soon, Nick Fakeup said in an interview 'blame the machines'
In 2012, There where the killings of 2 Duran Duran group members, Nick Rhodes accidently lodged his eye liner tube into his eye piercing his brain, Simon Le Bon had a heart attack from 1 too many cheeseburgers. John Taylor and his brother are the only members to remain.
Recent evidence as of 2017 indicates they have built connections with the secret underground group known as The Union of the Snake - and on those rare occasions they can safely scale Trump Tower Border Wall and shed their Mexican lawyer alter-egos to perform rock music in Yuma, Arizona, they do so in broken English.
