Baldrick
| Date of Birth: | Unknown | Hair: | Sewage Brown |
| Place of Birth: | Satan's Bottom | Eyes: | Brown |
| Height: | 5' 2" | Complexion: | Revolting |
| Weight: | Light enough to fling around | Sex: | Male |
| Build: | Skinny | Nationality: | Stateless |
| Occupation: | General Dogsbody | ||
| Remarks: | Known to be as cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University, Baldrick is the main instigator of plans in the Baldrick-Blackadder crime syndicate. A tall, handsome stallion of a man who was once called the 'greatest genius who ever lived'. Baldrick has also published poems in a proto-Minimalist journal of the early 20th century. | ||
| Scars, Marks and Other Peculiarities: | Difficult to tell which ones are actual features and which ones are marks of abuse although he does have a large growth in the middle of his face of unknown origin. | ||
BALDRICK IS WANTED IN CONNECTION WITH FAILING TO ADD 2 AND 2 TOGETHER, SELLING OWN URINE AS PREMIUM WINE, IMPERSONATION OF CHARLIE CHAPLIN, SEVERAL MALAPROPISMS, BURNING BOOKS OF EDUCATIONAL VALUE, AND THE REPEATED HINDRANCE OF EDMUND BLACKADDER'S ACTIONS.
The Mensa Society, working in conjunction with the FBI, is offering a years free supply of crossword puzzle books and brainteasers for any information, observation or otherwise that may lead to the apprehension or conviction of this philistine. An additional baker's dozen of pies is being offered by Mrs. Miggins's Pie Shop.
In spite of being kicked, having a milk-jug broken on his head, being roasted on a red-hot spit, and subjected to days of exposure, Baldrick is still with us. Do not expect him to be a pushover.
Baldrick was the son of a dung-gatherer, and he seems to have inherited his father's odious smell and is considered an extreme environmental hazard, as well as being a danger to rationality.
