User talk:ColonelKurtz

Welcome!

Hello, ColonelKurtz, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
• Votes for Highlight Page - read the very best articles and have your say about what goes onto our front page
• Pee Review - a place to get detailed feedback on your articles
• Uncyclopedia:What You Can Do - if you don't know what to do

Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, post on our community forum, join our Discord, or message an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian!  L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 20:39, 3 May 2024 (UTC)

Ok looks like i need to tell you some blatantly obvious stuff here

First of all, there is this rule on A story built one sentence at a time that explicitly forbids people from removing stuff that doesn't break the rules. This includes the planet-sized moccasins that you have removed twice now. Don't do any of that stuff.
Second of all, and this shouldn't be shocking for you to get told off on, but please don't vandalize pages. You have done that multiple times now. Next time you do anything like those two things you're getting blocked. Got it? 16:56, 21 May 2024 (UTC)

Waht

You mean I can't vandalize things? – Preceding unsigned comment added by ColonelKurtz (talk • contribs)

Yes, i mean exactly that. 17:05, 21 May 2024 (UTC)

Guess I gotta wipe of the graffiti at the McDonalds now.ColonelKurtz (talk) 17:08, 21 May 2024 (UTC)

Hey ColonelKurtz!

Wanna help me make an UnGame called Escape from Ojai? It’s based on the “A story built one X at a time” articles, but you can edit it as many times in a row as you want. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ OPOSSUMSIG.gif(vandalize my talk page) 01:24, 23 September 2024 (UTC) Yeah sure. ColonelKurtz (talk) 02:13, 23 September 2024 (UTC)

Squaw Dee'd

Squaw Dee dropped by! He owns Uncyclopedia!

ݬલטαฬ םɐۼ - ᚦ¡ទᑕʋᛢᛇ - ɪ øటñ ᑌᑎᑦᛉ๔1០ᖀξᗟᛧą - but ɳ̩ɵɞ_°₫￥ ເἀᚱΞᛇ

how DAFUQ do I add a userbox

title.ColonelKurtz (talk) 18:37, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

yur mim

hai gaiz so won tiem tere wus a gint hai gaiz so buyyyColonelKurtz (talk) 00:35, 2 October 2024 (UTC) hai gaiz so won tiem tere wus an gint stoen citty und 'n' iti tere wus un muhderher un teh muhderher sint 10-2 peepul to teh voyed so buyyy ColonelKurtz (talk) 12:16, 2 October 2024 (UTC)

ColonelKurtz an den I had an stronk triyng ta red dis n fuggen dide Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (vandalize my talk page) 14:33, 2 October 2024 (UTC)

so wuy dud yu puhl oute 'n' teh sed voyed?

ASBOWAAT, and the 2 word counterpart

You keep changing the existing text, which it states in the rule numbered 4, not to do. L10nM4st3r ^{ROAR at me!} / _{What my paws scratched} 18:53, 14 October 2024 (UTC) Ok. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 18:20, 16 October 2024 (UTC)

The ban thing

I'm just curious. So far, you haven't really been a bad faithed user. You've used quite the edgy humor, but never pushed the boundaries to the point of breaking Uncyclopedia's policies. And now, you're asking to be banned. Why is that? DaniPine3 (talk) 20:58, 17 October 2024 (UTC)

Ok, so if I've never broken Uncyclopedia's policies, why would the Jew jokes suddenly be offensive? You guys allowed me to get away with writing the n-word alot earlier in the story, so why is it offensive now?Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 21:02, 17 October 2024 (UTC)

I think the problem is more so the repititiviness of it. Notice that originally they did too let you get away with the Jew jokes, but Alula just grew tired of it. It's true you should try to get different material that's not always Jew jokes, because you've kind of spamming them lately. DaniPine3 (talk) 21:10, 17 October 2024 (UTC)

I've a wild proposition: why don't you ban me already? I'm gonna continue with 'em. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 21:16, 17 October 2024 (UTC)

There's no need to ban you... All you have to do is be less persistent with the Jew jokes... Why are you so eager with this, when this could end in a more pacifist way? DaniPine3 (talk) 21:25, 17 October 2024 (UTC)

I don't think you understand; I said I was gonna be more persistent with the Jew jokes. That is what started this, and this is how its gonna end: either I am deprived of my Jew-jokes, or I am banned.

Why, though? It's been fun to contribute with you in the ASBOxAAT series, and you're going to end it all for this? For having the ability to keep with the Jew jokes? When there are way funnier jokes out there? I think you should reconsider... DaniPine3 (talk) 21:34, 17 October 2024 (UTC)

All is vanity. I want to get banned. Half all the articles nowadays on Uncyclopedia are complete failures by comedy standards. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 21:55, 17 October 2024 (UTC)

It's what happens when a website has been 20 years old and most people on the web haven't heard of it. But it's cool to chat with the people here. DaniPine3 (talk) 21:58, 17 October 2024 (UTC)

Want me to spread the word? I'm probably going to let the other articles other than Marine Division 666 and the finished ones die. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 22:06, 17 October 2024 (UTC)

There's no need to... But well, I guess it's your articles, after all. At least the finished ones will stay...
Well, if you want to leave like this, I guess it's your choice. It was fun to edit ASBOxAAT with you- even if some of the jokes were kind of in bad taste. Guess this is a goodbye, then. DaniPine3 (talk) 22:10, 17 October 2024 (UTC)

Alas! It was funTerminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 22:12, 17 October 2024 (UTC)

Alas, indeed... I'm glad that at least you found it fun. DaniPine3 (talk) 22:17, 17 October 2024 (UTC)

After giving it thought, I have decided to not leave. I will not be as active as previous, however, perhaps until Christmas. Too many things are in my personal life to spend more time hear.Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 02:12, 18 October 2024 (UTC)

Okay, it's good to see you'll be staying here after all. Hope you find a solution for whatever is baffling you in your personal life :] DaniPine3 (talk) 10:05, 18 October 2024 (UTC)

Your Passport application has been Approved.

• UNCYCLOPEDIAN PASSPORT • Passport Card no. 4.252.99.182 Name = Colonel Tony P. Kurtz Nationality = Israeli/Palestinian/Vietnamese This is a valid Uncyclopedian Passport granting the holder passage to any country; excepting Canada, the United States, England, or any other country in which anyone would actually want to live.

it's gonna happen

im getting banned 2nite

Whack!

Whack! You've been whacked with a wet trout. Don't take this too seriously. OPOSSUM just wants to let you know that you did something silly, which may or may not include a shit-ton of NIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASER

I have to mention this

I know I shouldn't bother because it's really not a big deal but, there is a difference between whose and who is/was. In your War of the Ring page, I did edit the grammar as in the sentence you used it in is incorrect; little guy whose (possessive) a descendant of short humans, whereas; a little guy who's/who was/who is a descendant is the correct grammar. https://www.grammarly.com/blog/commonly-confused-words/whos-whose/ and well, it hurts my eyes and you can call me a Grammar Nazi and all that, but I have to mention this because I feel very strongly about this as my eyes are hurting, and I could develop some kind of headache from it and that would make me sad and in pain. You understand? Nacky (talk) 13:54, 29 October 2024 (UTC)

Yes, I understand. Edit the grammar as ye wish. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 13:58, 29 October 2024 (UTC)

Um, Mr. Colonel Kurtz, hi. Nice to meet you. Anyway, could I add some bits here and there in your lovely article? Just some small bits here and there? You might be able to tell that I am a huge Tolkien fan and if Lord of the Rings were some kind of degree one could hold, I would have a degree. PhD or some shit like that. Nacky (talk) 14:03, 29 October 2024 (UTC)

Edit as you wish. I think the novels are some of the best work of fantasy that has ever been made. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 14:06, 29 October 2024 (UTC)

Thanks! I always try to ask permission unless it's just a small edit with spelling or grammar, but if I go do more, I try to contact the author. For a long time the Trojan War page was really awful and a couple of admins even mentioned it. But I asked permission to change some things. The author never replied. So I left it for while. But it really started to bug me. Like the whole arcade game thing in Night of the Comet. I guess I focused on it too much. But I finally went in and did some edits without taking anything away from the original. I kinda wrote around it. Honestly I would have revamped that thing entirely. But it wasn't my page originally and I don't like to intrude on someone else's stuff. I did successfully re-edit Andromeda but in that instance I actually did get permission from the original author. I added much more to it than there was originally but I kept all his material in it and now, it's all good. It doesn't hurt my eyes. And while he did have pics, I made some more to add with it. It's what I do. Nacky (talk) 14:20, 29 October 2024 (UTC)

SO are you gonna add anymore stuff?Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 23:23, 29 October 2024 (UTC)

I will, just been busy and then had to sleep. Nacky (talk) 23:42, 29 October 2024 (UTC)

Um, what?

What's up? It's okay to make fun of Jews. It's okay to make fun of just about anyone. But replacing pages with lame crap is just annoying. And the shit you're saying is just stupid, not even funny. MrX blow me 16:32, 31 October 2024 (UTC)

I’ve increased the block. I am willing to shorten it, even shorter than the original block perhaps, if you can explain. MrX blow me 04:45, 7 November 2024 (UTC)

Sorry I haven't responded. I thought I was also blocked from editing my talk-page. The reason why I have been vandalizing? For the lulz. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 13:36, 7 November 2024 (UTC)

You're cooked.

You are being investigated by the Uncyclopedia Marshals Service. You are under investigation for classified reasons by the Uncyclopedia Marshals Service. Behave yourself or else you will face federal charges and a hefty fine.

Bad Motherfucker GET FUCKED! 06:50, 7 November 2024 (UTC)

Why not?

Why not?Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 14:40, 12 November 2024 (UTC)

E

Whack! You've been whacked with a wet trout. Don't take this too seriously. OPOSSUM just wants to let you know that you did something silly, which may or may not include a shit-ton of NIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASERNIGGER KIKE WOP GREASER

Ada Ayam46 (talk) 11:22, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

@Ada Ayam46: you don't even know who this guy is, you just logged in; why are you trouting them? also how do you know who OPOSSUM is? DaniPine3 (talk) 11:41, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

What the hell happened here? Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 13:47, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

No idea. Some vandal named Ada Ayam46 that just logged in here started to spam weird things. It's weird how the vandal knows both about you and OPOSSUM, considering they've never been here before (at least that I know) DaniPine3 (talk) 13:48, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

It's probably an alternate account operated by some banned user. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 13:56, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

That's what I thought, but the user's IP is from Indonesia, and I don't remember any Indonesian being banned recently. I though it might have been Gabri the Pawed Panther at first, but not even that user was this bat fuck insane... DaniPine3 (talk) 13:59, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

He/She probably stocked Uncyclopedia for a while then. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 14:06, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

What do you mean by 'stocked'? You mean that they 'socked' Uncyclopedia, or were you trying to say something else? DaniPine3 (talk) 14:13, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

Pardon my poor word choice, I meant stalked Uncyclopedia. – Preceding unsigned comment added by ColonelKurtz (talk • contribs)

sorry, I accidentally clicked 'rollback' and reverted your edit. It seems really strange that anyone would stalk a wiki, let alone one that only a few people know of. I can't deny, I feel kind of bad for the user because it might have been just some random kid, but there was something really suspicious about their behavior, and them saying really incoherent things and not trying to answer my questions didn't help. DaniPine3 (talk) 14:32, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

Okay. WHen i'm unbanned I'm probably gonna start work on a War of the Ring article, as approved by historians, then write a Lawrence of Arabia article. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 14:39, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

Speaking of that, why didn't you answer MrX's question? Your ban would have probably ended by now if you had... DaniPine3 (talk) 14:40, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

I did the vandalism out of impulse. But I'd rather wait out the punishment since I'll still have some editing privileges taken away. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 14:49, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

okay, then. I'm glad that you prefer to stay here with us. it's nice having you around here. DaniPine3 (talk) 14:52, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

Sometimes I wonder if I should write my articles in this talk-page then move them when the ban is over. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 14:55, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

I personally wouldn't mind, but maybe you should ask MrX first, just in case... DaniPine3 (talk) 15:09, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

personally, even though i'm not blocked, i put my unfinished articles in my sandbox and separate them with title headers that say the name of the article, kinda like a storage page Brown9622, the 9622nd version of brown (talk) (articles) (contribs) · 15:13, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

Okay. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 15:14, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

@Brown9622: I don't think ColonelKurtz can do that, though? He's only allowed to use his talkpage, but he can't edit nor create anything outside of that -not even his own userpage. DaniPine3 (talk) 15:17, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

Anyway, I also wrote my "Recyclopedia" article in my talk page while I was self-blocked… Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ (addicted) 15:19, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

Okay. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 15:28, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: that was different; you weren't blocked because of violating any policy, but because you yourself asked to be blocked... my problem is that the admins might see ColonelKurtz using his talkpage as a sandbox to be a violation of his ban, which would then increase it and/or stop him from being allowed to use his talkpage. And I personally wouldn't want that happening if there's a way to avoid it. DaniPine3 (talk) 15:30, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

@DaniPine3: Wasn't I blocked because I kept making stupid Jew-jokes? Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 15:32, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

@ColonelKurtz: yes, you were; and to be fair, you've been behaving good as of now, so perhaps maybe your ban should be revoked (or, at least, be less longer) by now. But I'm still new to this being an admin thing and don't want to mess things up, so I'd rather wait for MrX's veredict first. DaniPine3 (talk) 15:41, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

Okay. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 15:59, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

I might be willing to reduce the block. I was hoping for a better explanation. I might settle for an acknowledgement of the many mistakes made (Alula had tried to help too). MrX blow me 23:59, 13 November 2024 (UTC)

I acknowledge that it was incredibly petty and pretty retarded of me to do what I did. The reason why I did it was because I was reading lots of Encyclopedia Dramatica's articles so I thought their style of humor would be funny to use. And why I vandalized was also because they said I should do it. I didn't think very much about it. I was retarded back then.Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 00:22, 14 November 2024 (UTC)

Alright, that works, thanks. There isn't really any type of humor or joke that is against the rules here, but a little bit too much of any one thing can get annoying. Always feel free to ask questions. Cheers. MrX blow me 00:25, 14 November 2024 (UTC)

Idiot Man Hell

During your block maybe you forgot this but may I refer you to HTBFANJS. Thanks and remember: You're here to build an Uncyclopedia, not an Encyclopædia! Thanks! ݬલטαฬ םɐۼ - ᚦ¡ទᑕʋᛢᛇ - ɪ øటñ ᑌᑎᑦᛉ๔1០ᖀξᗟᛧą - but ɳ̩ɵɞ_°₫￥ ເἀᚱΞᛇ 17:23, 14 November 2024 (UTC)

Blocked again

You have been blocked from editing for a period of three days for creating really stupid crap. If you think there are good reasons for being unblocked, please write them down on a pineapple and shove it right up your ass. Once the block has expired, you are welcome to make useful contributions, but it is highly recommended that you stop creating really stupid crap. Thaaanks! --MrX blow me 01:53, 17 November 2024 (UTC)

Hey man that's nice.Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 13:20, 18 November 2024 (UTC)

I can smell the sarcasm from here...
Hey, I'm sorry you got blocked for a second time; but it's true you have a weird tendency to create really small articles that you don't expand afterwards. My suggestion is that you use your sandbox for that kind of stuff. Luckily for you, this time you only got blocked for three days, so you'll be unblocked in no time. DaniPine3 (talk) 13:25, 18 November 2024 (UTC)

That's nice.Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 13:30, 18 November 2024 (UTC)

I translated the War of the Ring article into 1337 speak.

its true. Terminate the Colonel's command. (talk) 16:38, 18 November 2024 (UTC)

Trump won!

OH YEAH LETS GO BABY