Road Rage
PICK A FUCKING SIDE, ASSWIT! Anyways, road rage is what happens when THESE FUCKTARDS NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE! GET THAT PIECE OF SHIT OFF THE ROAD, DIARRHEA SLURPING REDNECK BUM-HUMPER! As I was saying, when mommy and daddy really love each- Oh, sorry, wrong article. So road rage is what happens when somebody driving bothers another driver. It is a very serious thing, and should be YOU TRYING TO NASCAR THIS AND CAUSE A CRASH, YOU BUSHBRAIN?! Like I was saying, it should be avoided at all costs. Life is precious after all. DIE YOU USELESS CYCLIST! YOU'RE TAKING UP THE WHOLE FUCKING LANE, JACKHOLE!
Causes
Road Rage is caused by GO TAKE A LONG DRIVE OFF A SHORT PIER, WEASEL-DICK! *ahem* People thinking they're better than every other driver on the road. In most scenarios, the rager is the worse driver, like this fucker BEHIND ME! STAY IN THE LINES, MOTHERFUCKER! LIKE A FUCKING COLORING BOOK! Woah, almost hit that group of children there. Don't contribute to this by being a SHIT DRIVER! TAKE YOUR GODDAMN SIGNAL OFF, YA ASSCLOWN!
Results
Road ragers are often some of the most intelligent people on Earth, unlike THIS RETARD! YOU TRYING TO NASCAR THIS AND CAUSE A CRASH, YOU PIZZA-COVERED LAWN CHAIR?! They will not hesitate to fuck your shit up. Majorly. Most road ragers are very determined, and will not stop pursuing an aggressor for several hundred miles, like this TAILGATING FUCK! DAMNIT, QUIT GOING SO SLOW, DICKWEASEL! .
WHAT'S THIS FUCKER DOING?!
Hey, you in the piece-of-shit '97 Corolla! Yeah, you! PULL THAT BACKWARDS-ASS HILLBILLY BULLSHIT IN FRONT OF A COP, RASIN DICK! You wanna fucking go?!? WHAT THE HELL? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU RUN ME OFF THE ROAD?!? I'LL FUCKING KICK YOUR ASS! YOU FUCKING ASKED FOR IT,OVERRATED DICKMUNCH! GET READY TO SAY GOODNIGHT! Wait, is that a fucking KNIFE?! Hey no need to get aggressive. I just wanted to have a civil conversation.[Citation desprately needed] WHY, GOD, WHY? HEY, WHAT'S THAT FUCKER IN THE FORD F-150 DOING?! GO TAKE A LONG DRIVE OFF A SHORT PIER, JIMBO WALES WANNABE! Wait, NOOOO! LET'S TALK THIS THROUGH!!! NOT THE HANDS! WHAT THE FUCK! WHY THE FUCKING WINDOW? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COST ME FAGGOT?!!? OH, GOD IT HURTS!! OW OW OW OW! MAKE IT STOP! AAAAA-
See also
 | Article written in the style of its subject This article is funny because it is written in the real or imagined writing style of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is because you are an ignorant cultural philistine on account of having not consumed the same media the writer has. Shame on you. |
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