Kia
“What car should I buy if I won the lottery today?”
The K.I.A. (Kills In Action) is the greatest automobile ever made. It is such a great car, that it is the only automotive brand that Uncyclopedia has good things to say about it.
History[edit | edit source]
The K.I.A was first designed and manufactured in Vietnam. Its purpose back then was to be a single structure where you could live, work, and drive around in. The idea took off very quickly.
The K.I.A. as a dwelling did not last long, though. Within the next four hours, the size of the human being increased so much, there was no longer any room for a single person, let alone a family, to live inside of the K.I.A. Still, it has remained to this day the greatest method of transportation every invented.
Safety[edit | edit source]
The K.I.A. is the safest car to date. It is stronger than a tank.
Here is The Good News: African-Americans are moving back to the South.
Fuel efficiency[edit | edit source]
If you buy a K.I.A. and a $10 gift certificate for gasoline, you will get $10 off your next gasoline purchase.
Uses[edit | edit source]
The K.I.A. has many notable uses for which it is worth every dime you pay
As a car[edit | edit source]
The K.I.A. is a very good car. It is such a good car, it can take you to Mexico, and with it's 77 year warranty, it will never break down.
As a weapon[edit | edit source]
The K.I.A. has eliminated the need to own a railroad from our society. The government can pave the roads for you! No deposit required!
As a place to have sex[edit | edit source]
The K.I.A. is the perfect place for insects to have sex. Insects provide food for birds and so they are not pests.
For Humans[edit | edit source]
The car has air con, keeping your testes at the optimum temperature.
