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“What car should I buy if I won the lottery today?”

~ The K.I.A.
K.I.A. - The only good car ever made

The K.I.A. (Kills In Action) is the greatest automobile ever made. It is such a great car, that it is the only automotive brand that Uncyclopedia has good things to say about it.

History[edit | edit source]

The K.I.A was first designed and manufactured in Vietnam. Its purpose back then was to be a single structure where you could live, work, and drive around in. The idea took off very quickly.

The K.I.A. as a dwelling did not last long, though. Within the next four hours, the size of the human being increased so much, there was no longer any room for a single person, let alone a family, to live inside of the K.I.A. Still, it has remained to this day the greatest method of transportation every invented.

Safety[edit | edit source]

The K.I.A. is the safest car to date. It is stronger than a tank.

Here is The Good News: African-Americans are moving back to the South.

Fuel efficiency[edit | edit source]

If you buy a K.I.A. and a $10 gift certificate for gasoline, you will get $10 off your next gasoline purchase.

Uses[edit | edit source]

The K.I.A. has many notable uses for which it is worth every dime you pay

As a car[edit | edit source]

The K.I.A. is a very good car. It is such a good car, it can take you to Mexico, and with it's 77 year warranty, it will never break down.

As a weapon[edit | edit source]

The K.I.A. has eliminated the need to own a railroad from our society. The government can pave the roads for you! No deposit required!

As a place to have sex[edit | edit source]

The K.I.A. is the perfect place for insects to have sex. Insects provide food for birds and so they are not pests.

For Humans[edit | edit source]

The car has air con, keeping your testes at the optimum temperature.