Blinker fluid
A vital component of today's modern transportation system, blinker fluid lubricates the electrons emitting from a vehicle's turn signal lamps. It is suitable for both front and rear blinkers, despite some disreputable retailers who market two identically formulated versions for each end.
Manufacture[edit | edit source]
This lubricant is processed from light oils found in animals such as snipes and naugas. Once used primarily to refill Pontiac Firefly radiators, producers have adapted this versatile chemical to facilitate efficient light transmission for all domestic cars and trucks. Also different formulas include the tears of orphans. But it's typically used only for vehicles such as those dumb ass smart cars.
Maintenance[edit | edit source]
The recommended service interval for blinker fluid is every 20,000 blinks or February 29th, whichever occurs first. Disposal of expired fluid is complex, but most service centres will gladly receive your used fluid and send if off for illegal dumping for a nominal fee.
Note that blinker fluid for Ford's Mercury line of cars contains high levels of mercury, which is a toxic metal and poses a danger to the environment if not disposed of properly. The Dodge Neon, however, uses an inert neon gas to power all accessories - environmentally safer, but the system must be recharged periodically by a professional.
Side effects[edit | edit source]
Health problems: The AMA has determined blinker fluid is safe for consumption, but does note it is not very appetising, with a flavour akin to a combination of Fresca and Tab. It is an inert substance, but if a cat or dog consumes it, they will possibly start talking Yiddish.
Do avoid spills of blinker fluid into sensitive electronic equipment. After spilling some into a computer keyboard, now it works it doesn't work it works it doesn't work
Also keep in mind that light beer, while somewhat similar in chemical composition to blinker fluid, is not interchangeable with any of the automotive fluids. Its high water content renders it unsuitable for automotive applications as it will rust and damage your turn signals.
Suppliers[edit | edit source]
A primary supplier of blinker fluid is the company Kalecoauto, who can be found on the internets and sometimes sleeping behind the dumpster in the alley.
Always be sure to use the correct type and viscosity of blinker fluid for your make and model of vehicle, based on recommendations from the manufacturers. Note that left-handed blinker fluid is not interchangeable with its right-handed counterpart; blinker fluid manufactured for the UK market may not be used in vehicles manufactured for US drivers.
Target demographic[edit | edit source]
Women are shown to be the top consumers of blinker fluid worldwide. Several manufacturers of blinker fluid have recognized the strategic importance of this, and are preparing several spinoff brands of highly priced "image" blinker fluids that leverage endorsements from influential celebrities and fashion icons. One notable example is "FLASHER. by Paris Hilton", which has been criticized in the past for being too lazy to work 95% of the time, and making the left blinker significantly dimmer than the right.
