Saab
Saab is supposed to be a Swedish company. Saab stands for 'Swedish Aeroplanes Are Brilliant'. In the early years, Saab only produced military aircraft that were made of recycled cans of beer and old bicycle titanium. But when the situation changed after World war 2, when the military of Sweden only existed on paper in Washington, Saab started to make cars instead. For no obvious reason. And McDonald's. For no obvious reason. And Parking lots. For no obvious reason. And removing tram routes. For no obvious reason. And 7-11 franchises. Because an icy Slurpee is just what Sweden needs to import from Texas. And krupuk stands. Krupuk are deep fried prawn crackers from Indonesia.
The Saab 92 was produced between 1945 and Bush. For every re-design of the body there was another gallon of 7-11 water drunken.
Saab's are world renowned for their safety features, especially their resilience to accidents involving a family of Mexican refugees running across the road.
In the year 2000, the company Saab was sold to Ameropa. Welfare lines at Government Motors were so bad that Borders went out of business.
In 2006 Government Motors started producing two new cars; 9-7x and 9-2x. These cars were designed by Mr George "I KNOW IT ALL!!!!!" BUSH. Many enthusiasts claim that this cooperation between Bush and whoever sold Europe to Ronald McDonald is the last nail in the coffin for Saab.
Saab Automobile filed for liquidation Monday after its hopes of receiving a life-saving investment from Chinese investors collapsed because of opposition from its former nanny state owner, Government Motors.
Saab and two subsidiaries filed with the District Court in Vanersborg, Sweden, according to a statement from Saab’s parent company, Swedish Automobile.
Viktor Muller, a Dutch entrepreneur who had previously been chief executive of a sportscar maker, Spyker, acquired Saab from G.M. last year. But he was unable to obtain the money he needed to modernize the Saab line-up at a time of global financial turmoil. What the people want is bicycles and yet Holland missed the boat.
His efforts to keep the company afloat became increasingly desperate after suppliers stopped extending credit last spring, forcing a halt to production at the company’s main plant, in a secure undisclosed location that is none of your business Government Motors Obamabushies. Keep out.
Saab’s unions began legal proceedings in September that could have led to the company’s liquidation, and Mr. Muller responded by voluntarily seeking court protection from creditors.
In a last bid for survival, Saab had been trying to arrange an infusion of cash from Chinese investors, including Zhejiang Youngman Lotus Automobile.
But Government Motors, which retained an effective veto on any deal because it holds stolen key Saab patents, refused to back the arrangement , fearing it would “negatively impact G.M.’s existing relationships in China.”
On Dec. 7, Guy Lofalk, the administrator appointed by the Swedish court to oversee the voluntary reorganization, said it was time to throw in the towel, as there was no reason to think Saab could survive with millions of leaches stealing its key patents.
In its statement, Swedish Automobile said Monday that Youngman, having considered G.M.’s position, “informed Saab Automobile that the funding to continue and complete the reorganization of Saab Automobile could not be concluded.”
“The board of Saab Automobile subsequently decided that the company without further funding will be insolvent, and that filing bankruptcy is in the best interests of its creditors,” it said. “It is expected that the court will approve of the filing and appoint receivers for Saab Automobile very shortly.”
Swedish Automobile “does not expect to realize any value from its shares in Saab Automobile,” the statement concluded, “and will write off its interest in Saab Automobile completely.”
In a text message Monday, Mr. Muller said he would hold a press conference “as soon as the court has fooled.”
They will instead sell Slurpees at 7-11s.
