Peugeot 504

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Late French-built Pejo 504

Once upon a time, in 1968, somewhere in the land where people casually devour snails by the hundreds for a midday snack, the Peugeot—today one of the least respected carmakers on the planet, rivaled only by Tesla and now a limb of some monstrous Dutch conglomerate[1]—produced something that looked modest, bland, and even by the standards of its day, elegantly dull. And yet, the most important thing is its name: 504. It is the automotive equivalent of a giant cockroach or a mule—repulsive to the wealthy, scorned by the upper classes, but a hero to many. And believe it or not, despite being a Peugeot, it's a hero.

Development[edit | edit source]

Peugeot 404 was an extraordanary car, but quite old looking...

Development began in the mid-1960s, at a time when Peugeot—still a brand of rustic logic and mechanical common sense—finally realized that its beloved midsize family car, the 404[2] (produced since 1959), while essentially a Swiss army knife on wheels capable of circumnavigating the globe twenty times, fixable with a piece of wire, and able to haul twenty people to a picnic without complaint, was beginning to look like something out of a Cold War postcard. Its tailfins, a lingering tribute to 1950s America courtesy of the ever-flashy Pininfarina, were starting to seem a bit... dated.

Even the tanned puppet regimes of postcolonial Africa were demanding something a little more modern-looking—though just as indestructible. So once again, Pininfarina was brought in to draw the box, and Peugeot’s own team of practical sorcerers got to work on the inside. The result? A miracle of understated design: angular lines, a tasteful interior, front lights shaped like trapezoids (for reasons no one ever quite explained), and a slightly awkward sloped rear end that together formed what would soon become a new people’s hero—the 504.

Launched in September 1968, the car arrived just in time to witness a France still reeling from that year’s massive strikes and civil unrest. Ironically, while the country itself was having a prolonged existential crisis, the 504 emerged cool, collected, and unbothered. Unlike the French economy, the 504 didn’t flinch. It didn’t strike. It didn’t demand social reform. It just worked—and it kept on working, long after the barricades were dismantled.

Lifespan[edit | edit source]

504 Coupé. Sleek (looks better than BMW)

When full production of the Peugeot 504 kicked off in late 1968, nobody—not even Peugeot’s own overworked engineers—could have guessed that this minimalist, mechanically ascetic hunk of French steel would go on to enjoy a production run longer than many monarchies. But it did. Because the 504 wasn’t just a car—it was an appliance of survival.

504 Familiale: Most overengineered station wagon of its time

By 1970, the 504 lineup was already evolving, with the arrival of the 504 Ti, which, despite being just as indestructible as the standard version, came with fuel injection—a dark sorcery at the time, typically found only in overengineered German machines and laboratory test rigs. And yet Peugeot, that awkward French uncle of the automotive world, had already been dabbling in this black magic since 1965. Quietly. Confidently. As if they knew the rest of the world was still catching up.

Soon came the extended lineup. There was the painfully elegant coupé and cabriolet, which were so tasteful they looked like something a 1970s Bond villain might use for grocery runs. And then, the Familliale—a station wagon that completely ignored how station wagons are usually made. Instead of stretching the boot like an American would, Peugeot cut the car behind the front doors, slapped on a taller roof, and for reasons known only to some grumpy engineer in Sochaux, extended the wheelbase by 15 centimeters. The result was a rolling chapel of practicality—utterly unrelated to the sedan, but built with the same bomb-proof attitude.

And then it spread. Production moved out of France like a colonial echo. Factories popped up in Nigeria, Kenya, Argentina, China. The car became globalized in the truest, least glamorous sense: not as a symbol of prestige, but as a tool of necessity. In 1983, France finally pulled the plug. But the 504 wasn’t done. It couldn’t be killed off that easily.

These things are beasts...

Instead, it thrived where others perished: in places where roads are optional, fuel is adulterated, and mechanics are armed only with a hammer and a prayer. It became available only in sedan, wagon, and eventually pickup form—essentially turning into an agricultural implement with headlights.

Production limped on until 2006, ending not in Paris, but in Kenya, where the final 504 rolled off the line like a stubborn ghost refusing to pass on.

And here’s the twist: they’re still running. Today, in places where heat, dust, and utter neglect murder modern vehicles within months, the 504 continues to crawl along like a diesel-powered zombie, consuming bad fuel, terrible roads, and whole families with the same quiet resignation.

Even the so-called “legendary” Toyota Hilux, plastic idol worshipped by Western car journalists, has proven itself fragile in comparison. Toyota may have a reputation for reliability—but in Africa, that reputation melts in the sun, cracks on the roads, and dies at the hands of neglect. Meanwhile, the 504 just keeps going, usually on three functioning cylinders, without oil, and with a door held shut by twine.

United States[edit | edit source]

1980 Peugeot 504 Diesel infected by US Road safety restrictions..

The United States: land of freedom, excess, and cars the size of aircraft carriers. Today, barely anyone in America remembers Peugeot—and if they do, it’s probably thanks to Top Gear [3](the British one; the American version is barely watchable) as the punchline to a joke about flaky French metal. But the older generation? They remember. They remember the 504. Not as a joke, but as a reliability nuke dropped into the soft underbelly of Detroit iron.

In 1970, Peugeot launched its full-on invasion of the U.S.—a second French expedition, this time not with muskets and powdered wigs, but with pragmatic steel and long-travel suspension. And unlike most European brands that simply tossed their cars across the Atlantic and hoped for the best, Peugeot actually tried. The 504s shipped to America were pre-adapted at the Sochaux factory to meet U.S. regulations. That meant—tragically—they were fitted with four sealed-beam headlights awkwardly crammed into a trapezoidal housing, ruining the clean European front fascia like a botched nose job.

Then came 1974. Thanks to new crash regulations, Peugeot was forced to raise the ride height and bolt on massive plastic battering rams[4] in place of the original chrome bumpers, lest some wandering hippie lose their legs in a parking lot collision. Aesthetically, it was catastrophic. Functionally? Irrelevant. Because somehow, they still loved it.

American buyers—at least the rare few who dared wander off the Big Three’s plantation—actually embraced the 504. Journalists praised its no-nonsense engineering, frugal fuel consumption, and the kind of rugged durability normally associated with agricultural equipment. Compared to the bloated Impalas, LTDs, and Gran Torinos of the day, the 504 was one-third the size but three times as comfortable. Because while Americans made cars with horsepower and air conditioning, the French made cars with suspension. And shockingly, that mattered.

Until French production ended in 1983, the 504 enjoyed a modest but respectable run in the U.S. It never sold in massive numbers, but it carved out a niche—among professors, architects, slightly oddball intellectuals, and people who liked the idea of driving a European car that didn’t explode if you skipped one oil change.

The 504 was the cockroach among dinosaurs. It didn't need to be loud or flashy. It just needed to outlive the others, and it usually did.

Special variants[edit | edit source]

Diesel[edit | edit source]

Least used 504 Diesel in Africa

The diesel-powered Peugeot 504 wasn’t built to go fast. It wasn’t built to thrill. It was built to exist—relentlessly, ungracefully, and far past the point where most of its competition had already rotted into powder. While other manufacturers were experimenting with performance, innovation, or at the very least basic dignity, Peugeot quietly rolled out diesel versions of the 504 that could best be described as rolling agricultural implements.

Starting one was like waking a bear from hibernation—long, grumpy, and full of smoke. The early diesels wheezed out barely 50 horsepower, producing more vibration than motion, and made sounds that suggested internal suffering. But they would run. On anything. Rotten diesel. Used cooking oil. Something a goat peed in. The fuel quality didn’t matter. Maintenance didn’t matter. The car didn’t care. It simply kept going.

And in Africa, it found its true calling. There, a Peugeot 504 Diesel isn’t just a taxi—it’s public infrastructure. Fifteen people? Standard. Five goats? Routine. An angry sheep? Strapped to the roof. Ten chickens? On someone’s lap. And somehow, through heat, dust, corruption, axle-deep potholes and engine oil that hadn’t been changed since the Reagan administration, the 504 just droned forward—smoking, rattling, and eternally unbothered.

Meanwhile, Japanese rivals like the Toyota Corolla or Hilux, praised by the West as models of reliability, showed up, ran for five years, and expired from cultural shock. They weren’t built for that kind of abuse. The Peugeot was. It thrived in abuse. It was abuse.

Dangel[edit | edit source]

504 Dangel. That car kicks ass

The Dangel 504 was the natural conclusion of a dangerous question: What if this thing also conquered terrain? Enter Dangel, Peugeot’s off-road enablers, who jacked up the suspension, installed 4x4 hardware, and unleashed onto the world what looked like an off-road estate car but behaved like a half-track with a union card.

Most 4x4s of the era had some pretense of comfort or style. The Dangel 504 did not. It was for people who needed to cross rivers, deliver medicine to a rebel-held village, or drive 300 kilometers across dried lava with one functioning gear. It was the car you bought when even a Land Cruiser gave up. And the Land Cruiser often did—its electronics hated the heat, its interior rattled apart, and parts were priced like aircraft spares. The Dangel? It had no electronics to fry. You could fix it with a brick and a borrowed wrench. Most often, people did.

It was a workhorse in a world where horses had already died.

Rally[edit | edit source]

Yep. Also kicked ass

In normal rallying, the 504 was too civilised, too soft in the knees, and too unwilling to dance. But throw it into a 6,000-kilometre continental death march like the Safari Rally, and it became clear that Peugeot hadn’t built a race car. They’d built a pestilence-grade endurance beast.

While the Lancias and Opels crumpled in the heat, burst their suspensions, or burst into flames, the 504 cruised through the carnage like a Parisian undertaker—dry, steady, and faintly disgusted. It didn’t need to be quick. It just needed to stay alive longer than the others, and it did. Consistently.

Even when leaking everything except hope, the 504 would finish. It was slower, older, and looked like it hadn’t slept in weeks—but it was still moving when the sleek turbocharged rivals were coughing out steam and being helicoptered home in disgrace.

The 504 was never the fastest. It was simply the last one standing. And in Africa, in rallies, in life—that’s the only thing that matters.

Counterparts[edit | edit source]

Peugeot 604[edit | edit source]

Peugeot 604: 504, but refined

The Peugeot 604 is what happens when the rugged, no-nonsense 504 gets handed a tie, a glass of wine, and told to behave at a diplomatic reception. Under the polished sheet metal and Pininfarina lines (yet again), it’s still a 504 at heart—less tough, maybe, but still dependable, still rational, still built by people who knew that comfort doesn’t mean fragility.

It was meant to compete with the Mercedes S-Class, and while it never quite managed to intimidate the Germans, it did carve out a niche: a luxury car that didn’t forget where it came from. A 504 with manners. A tuxedo over work boots.

Yep, that's best counterpart of 504

Cockroach[edit | edit source]

The 504 is like the cockroach of the automotive world—not because it’s dirty or unwelcome, but because it is everywhere, uninvited, and completely unkillable. You will find it in deserts, mountains, jungles, on roads, off roads, and places where roads used to be. You will find it in cities, villages, and post-apocalyptic wastelands. It will be there. Running. Somehow.

Rich people hate it. American suburbanites flinch at the sight of it (at least modern). Porsche owners scoff. But while their shiny toys die at the first whiff of adversity, the 504 keeps crawling forward. It doesn’t want praise. It doesn’t ask for service. It exists. Like a biological constant.

You don’t own a 504—you coexist with it. Until death. Yours, not the car’s.

Mule[edit | edit source]

Comparing the 504 to other cars misses the point. The correct comparison is a mule—an actual, biological, slightly resentful working animal. Not beautiful, not fast, not glamorous—but ceaselessly capable.

A mule doesn’t complain. It just carries. It climbs mountains. It pulls loads. It survives heat, cold, violence, and neglect. It doesn’t care if it’s overloaded or mistreated—it endures. It’s a creature of utility, not pride.

So is the 504. It is not here to impress. It is here to perform, again and again, until the job is done—or the sun dies out. Comparing it to a car is like comparing a windmill to a ceiling fan. They spin, yes. But one feeds nations.

Specs & Comparisons (504 L Diesel - Berlina[5])[edit | edit source]

Unkillable motherfucker

Specs[edit | edit source]

Engine:[edit | edit source]

  • 2.1L naturally aspirated inline-4 diesel (2112 cm³)
  • Power: 49 hp
  • Torque: 108 Nm

A slow, rhythmic death-rattle that somehow lasts forever. There is no joy, no thrill, no urgency—only the eternal groan of resistance. But that’s the point. This is a machine built for warzones and economic collapse, not for traffic lights. It will start on rotten diesel filtered through a sock. It will run with no oil, a cracked head, and a family of rats nesting on the intake manifold. It will go on, and on, and on............

Performance:[edit | edit source]

  • 0–100 km/h: 26 seconds
  • Top speed: 130 km/h (if chased by death and pushed by the wind)

These aren’t numbers. They’re irrelevant. Because you will arrive. Maybe not today. Maybe not this month. But you’ll arrive long after the fast cars have died in a ditch, their fuel pumps crying and their owners screaming into Bluetooth headsets.

The 504 doesn’t care how fast it is. It only cares that it is still moving, long after your patience, your civilization, and your government have collapsed.

Transmission:[edit | edit source]

  • 4-speed manual

Shifting is approximate. Vague. More an art than a science. But the linkage will outlive you. Clutch cables snap? Shift without one. Syncros gone? Double-clutch. It is not smooth. It is not refined. But it is eternally functional.

Suspension:[edit | edit source]

  • Front: MacPherson struts
  • Rear: Live axle on coils

Tuned for a world without asphalt. For post-roads. It ignores potholes, shrugs off ruts, and regards axle-snapping craters as mild inconveniences. This suspension could cradle a casket through a warzone without spilling the flowers. It doesn’t handle corners. It endures geography.

Brakes:[edit | edit source]

  • Front discs, rear drums.

They function. That’s it. They are not progressive. They are not ventilated. They will not save you. But the car is too slow to hurt anyone anyway, including you.

Fuel Economy:[edit | edit source]

  • ~7.5L/100km

But you’ll never know for sure, because it will run on anything: fryer grease, paint thinner, goat piss. Fuel quality is a suggestion, not a requirement. The tank is less a fuel system than a digestive tract for industrial waste.

Weight:[edit | edit source]

  • 1315 kg: Not because of features. Because iron weighs a lot. And this thing is made of real metal, not recycled yogurt lids.

Comparison[edit | edit source]

Parameter Peugeot 504 Diesel

Peugeot 504 000.jpg

African Cockroach

CockroachSwartbos.jpg

Sabrina Carpenter

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Dua Lipa

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Lada 2107

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Jack Doherty

JackDoherty.jpg

Concrete Brick

Brick.jpg

Andrew Tate

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Tesla Cybertruck

KOKOTINARAAH.png

Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift at the Golden Globes 2024 (Enhanced, cropped) 1.jpg
SpongeBob SquarePantsSpongebob-0001.jpg Peter GriffinPeter Griffin Hates a Certain Minority.gif
Type Post-colonial mechamule disguised as a car Biological terror with apocalyptic resilience Pop hologram with a throat Balkan-techno humanoid with vertebral control Soviet coffin with headlights Content-based carbon hazard Pure cranial consequence Weaponized ego reactor Chrome calamity with AI marketing Algorithmic witchcraft Sponge-based manic psychotrope Suburban entropy mammal
Origin France (1970s) → Sahel Everywhere nightmares live Disney LA, glass lab London, Albania, Spotify core USSR’s vodka hangover ending by bastardation of FIAT 124 Vine, steroids, insurance scam Earth, despair, wall Luton → Bucharest pipeline Elon’s ego x stainless PA → fame vortex Pacific trench + meth animation Rhode Island + Fox News fever
Passenger Capacity 5 humans, 3 goats, 2 rebels 1–3 roaches, 1 trauma orb 1 clutch bag + 3 insecurities 1 leg, 2 lawyers, 1 Bosnian uncle 4 drunk men, 1 destiny 1 ego, 2 minions 0. Can only be thrown. 0 morals, 3 Bugattis 6 + shattered dreams All your regrets Fits in a snail, contains 40 personalities Family of 5, IQ of 0.7
Top Speed (True) 81 mph (during freefall) 3 mph, endless terror 0 mph alone, 60 mph when ashamed 11 mph in boots 55 mph + rust bonus 20 mph or 2 felonies Terminal 100 tweets/sec 130 mph (in theory) Speed of sorrow Physically fast, metaphysically unhinged Falls over own shadow
Structural Durability Outlives war, time, God Acid-proof, nuclear cozy Fractures on impact of TikTok Dancer ligaments, Balkan bones Rusts into oblivion Snaps under IRS audit Only vulnerable to gravity Crumbles if doubted Dents emotionally Emotionally resilient Regenerates. Immortal under capitalism. Bounces. Sues wall for it
Hammer to the Occiput Hammer cracks, Peugeot drives on Hammer bounces, roach flexes Skull fracture, brain swelling, unconsciousness Atlanto-occipital dislocation, spinal shock, PR meltdown Hammer embeds, Lada coughs Hammer livestreamed, title in all caps Hammer = event Yells “Matrix!” while filming injury Hammer shatters. Truck gets update. Fans cry in harmony Explodes, reforms. Laughs hysterically. He operates the hammer while yelling "I hate Ni-"
Weaponization Potential Civil war veteran Fear-based dispersal agent PR frag grenade Gluteal smartbomb Vehicle of youth disillusion Riot catalyst Ancient war tool Redpill clusterbomb Techno-shield Emotion minefield Kinetic chaos elemental Wields hammer of stupidity
Collapse Survival Becomes king’s APC Becomes overlord of cockroach nation Drowns in perfume and shame Survives as Balkan cyborg Still drinks, still moves Dies during livestream Used as barter Leads testosterone sect Still bought Composes mourning anthem Laughs forever Eats the concept of collapse
Sexual Market Value None but romanticized None unless broken High for chronically online Extreme + geopolitical Fetishized by post-Soviets Conditional on Lambo Weaponizable in trauma rituals Weaponized misogyny Steel = sterile Divine to some Sponge, no boundaries Depends on beer & T-shirt fit
Therapy Compatibility Doesn’t need it Eats therapists Needs it, avoids it, sings it Dance = trauma exorcism No known cure Turns therapy into vlog Healing hazard Kills therapy on entry Firmware only Turns it into trilogy Was therapy, then untherapy Therapist leaves session screaming
Fire Resistance Laughs in flames Fireproof by God Melts down, cancels show Fire hazard by wardrobe Paint peels, vodka protects Ignites own ego Survives Pompeii Converts flames into followers Thermal anomaly Folkloric combustion Burns, reforms, mocks fire Starts fire by opening fridge
Cultural Legacy Warlord icon Apocalypse mascot Sad-girl brand pillar Balkan club goddess Ironic relic YouTube Babylonian Tool of memory Meme tyrant Silicon Sisyphus Goddess or ghost Meme-god, Gen Z godparent 20 seasons of functional brain rot
Market Value (Actual) $200 + bullets None, infinite fear value $8M $35M $400 or your shame $10M of chaos $2.50 + regrets Ego-backed crypto $70K + $50K shame $1B of melody mind control $0 net; $∞ influence $60 in gas station merch
Ability to Be Sexually Harassed (µZeglers) 12 µZ 0.1 µZ 480 µZ 520 µZ 88 µZ 340 µZ 0 µZ 120 µZ 280 µZ 800 µZ 300 µZ (fishnet edition) 10,000 µZ in Quahog alone
Resistance to Brainrot (TPD) 90 TPD Infinite 20 TPD 35 TPD 200 TPD 0 TPD 0 Converts to content 10 TPD 500 TPD Negative TPD. Causes chain reaction Is the origin of most
Parasocial Toxicity (PPM) 22 PPM 85 PPM 3,100 PPM 2,800 PPM 140 PPM 6,500 PPM 0 9,000 PPM 4,500 PPM 1,000,000 PPM 9,000 PPM in meme form Off the charts since 2005
Can Mount AR-15? Yes No No No Yes Yes, poorly Can be thrown near one Yes Not legally No, fans are weapons Uses jellyfish rifle Accidentally mounts cat
Legal Immunity (Kardashian Shield Units) 1.1 KSU 0 KSU 1.7 KSU 1.5 KSU 0.5 KSU 2.0 KSU N/A 1.9 KSU 3.2 KSU 5.0 KSU 0.3 KSU, lives in pineapple -3.2 KSU, weaponized lawsuit magnet

See also[edit | edit source]

Notes[edit | edit source]

  1. Stellantis
  2. Production in France was killed in 1975, everywhere else in 1991
  3. S22E05
  4. So-called "US 5-mph Safety bumpers"
  5. Same meaning as sedan