Andrew Tate

Andrew Tate is looking at this article right now... in full agreement of the contents.

Emory Andrew Tate III (born December 1, 1986), also known as Cobra Tate is an American-British kickboxer. When he's not beating men, he's a professional douche on social media. He also considers himself as someone who you should not leave your girlfriend with because he has very negative views on women, and even went as far as considering himself as the "#1 Women Hater of All Time". Just like an actual cobra's poison itself, Tate has been known for having a toxic personality both online and offline, and he could easily scare off women. His personality exactly matches that of his nickname. As a result of being a misogynist, he has been kicked off of multiple social media platforms, only to come back again.

Tate loves showing off his bling blings and even gave himself a nickname: Top G. More like Top-Garbage. Nevertheless, we will never forget the time he tried to spark a war between himself and his nemesis: Logan Paul, who is also a boxer.

"I lOvE tHe bUgAtTiS- bTw wHat cOloUr'S yOuR bUgaTti???"

Bro, shut up. wHat cOloUr's yOur HAIR? Vine boom LOL.

Early life

Tate was born on December 1, 1986 in Washington, D.C. His parents are an English catering assistant and Mr. Clean. Tate also has a brother named Tristan, who is also a kickboxer, but no one talks about him. The Tates spent their earliest years in Chicago before they moved to a small city in Indiana. After his parents divorced, Tate moved with his brother and mother to England, where he became a Christian. He spent most of his time cleaning houses using his father's products that he has seen in commercials since the age of 5.

Kickboxing and martial arts career

After several years as a housecleaner, Tate decided to become a kickboxer in 2005. He had a very large win rate, with 76 wins and 9 losses. While he mostly lived in Luton (which was where he lived after his parents divorced), he also was in Romania and moved there in 2017. Not only that, but he dabbled into mixed martial arts as well. He had 3 matches, and he won two of them while he lost just one. Since then, he teaches kickboxing and martial arts classes through his website.

Gerbil collecting career

Tate was briefly involved in the unusual hobby of gerbil collecting/trafficking. He would use the gerbils in very odd, and depraved ways. Sometimes calling them “Jerkoffilvs”. He tried to cross breed gerbils with weasels so he could make them really slender, and slide them through the colon efficiently. Some believe this was an affectionate way to impressed women, while most others, believe this to be his rather true orientation called “homogerbil”, giving everything to the “gerbil”.

His favourite gerbil was named “Curdles”. This gerbil was particularly small and he could really, really get it up there. It is rumoured that Tate “shoved” Curdles too deep one evening (think The Mines of Moria in Lord of the Rings) and was unable to retrieve him. Some say you can still hear Curdles scuttling around in panic within Tate’s taint. Tate likes his taint “Tate’d” with Curdle’s cream (the little Gerbil still has sexual needs and masturbates within Tate’s colon on the reg, effectively creating a gerbilception-holio scenario). Tate was also in the process of writing about gerbils and the benefits of using them within the proctology community.

Tate’s porn production company - Tainted Tickles - which specialized in a new porn category Tate was passionate about: Gerbils. Tate holds the record for “most gerbils held in your ass at once”. He managed to wrangle 35 of those poor little bastards in his ass before collapsing from “Gerbil shock”. Which is an overstimulation of the taint area due to Gerbil nibbles (Gerbie Nibs). It was dubbed “Tates Inflated Tainted Tickle Syndrome” or TITTS for short (like his gerbils). Or TITTS for Terribly Infected Totalitarian Tate Shithead.

It is rumoured Tate wishes to rid the world of himself via a gerbil orgy where the gerbils puke, piss, shit and bukkake all over his disguising, misogynist, worthless body before eating him from the inside out. He called this "The Great Gerbil Tate Taint Feast".

Rap career

Tate's rare occasion of hanging out with women, despite being a misogynist.

Tate is a rapper under the name "Mr. Plenty". He claims to be the next Eminem, however, what he really does is yell over the beat so that his voice is more louder than it. Maybe the mixing could be the cause, but it's very very loud. Although he has not released an album, he has released singles, most songs were released in 2019.

His discography includes such "hits" such as "Sugar Daddy" and "Shoot Yourself" featuring Kris Kiss.

Rise to infamy

In the annals of reality television, the year 2016 bore witness to the rise of Tate within the tumultuous realm of Big Brother. However, far from ascending the ranks of adulation and acclaim, our subject found himself ensnared in a web of controversy and calamity. His tenure on the show was marked not by adoration but by the acrid stench of scandal, as his propensity for incendiary rhetoric, predominantly disseminated through the digital diorama of Twitter, earned him notoriety akin to a black sheep in a herd of white lambs.

Yet, the saga did not conclude with mere verbal indiscretions; no, our Tate's missteps transcended the realms of mere speech. Indeed, he found himself immortalized in infamy as footage emerged depicting an altercation wherein he wielded a belt with an alarming lack of restraint. This brazen act of physicality, captured for posterity, led to his prompt expulsion from the hallowed halls of reality TV, a pariah in a landscape of aspiring stars.

However, expulsion from the realm of televised theatrics merely served as the prologue to a larger narrative of moral decay. Embarking on a trajectory littered with ethical pitfalls, Tate ventured into the realm of entrepreneurship, offering classes in various disciplines while peddling schemes promising untold riches. Yet, it was his collaboration with his brother in the establishment of a webcam enterprise that truly encapsulated the depths of his moral bankruptcy. Operating under the guise of providing companionship, the duo enlisted a cadre of former flames to perpetrate contrived narratives upon unsuspecting clientele, thereby exploiting the vulnerabilities of both parties for financial gain.

Moreover, even prior to his ascension to public prominence, Tate's incendiary rhetoric and controversial convictions had garnered attention. His dismissive attitude toward mental health issues, such as depression, by stating "Depression isn't real, and everyone is happy.", has in fact irritated people more, rather than make them happy.

The War Room

Tate owns the self-proclaimed "greatest global network" called the War Room. According to his website, the only way to join the War Room is if you're male, and have a massive schlong. It has influence in 70 countries (apparently) and its goal is to have all men be intelligent in a world free of slavery, and "escape the matrix", whatever the heck that means. While the War Room is mostly online on Telegram, it will also grant men the privilege to attend any event with members of the War Room, though none of them dare venture outside their mother's basement. It claims to have made 88% of its members millionaires through its programs. He also runs another program similar to the War Room called the Real World, which is basically a 3-step get rich quick method, for Tate.

2022

On April 11, 2022, Tate's home in Romania was raided after a woman said that she was held against her will, which sparked an investigation into human trafficking. He was then released after being interrogated. Tate claims that he was being swatted. He then became very known through his appearances in InfoWars and being friends with those who had appeared in the program prior to his first appearance. That July, he had more searches than Donald Trump and COVID-19. Later in the month he called himself "The Greatest Misogynist of All Time", and stated that women should stay at home and than men would only date older teenagers because they're considered attractive.

He has had three Twitter accounts and despite policies about ban evasion, one of them was verified. It was banned shortly after. Because of his titles that he made up, he was banned on Facebook and Instagram. TikTok also banned him for the same reason. While YouTube did suspend his account, so he created a Rumble account, which is basically Youtube for Nazis. He also decided to delete his Twitch account. Tate responded that most of his comments were taken out of context but he takes responsibility on how they were received to others. Even Jake Paul (who was relevant for like one year) said that he thought that Tate was sexist, but he wanted him unsuspended from social media. Eventually, Elon Musk bought Twitter and unbanned Tate's account.

After being unbanned on Twitter, Tate decided to troll Greta Thunberg, which went badly, because she asked him "How dare you?" and proceeded to scream uncontrollably at passerby until she was sedated. Tate has converted to Islam, according to a post from his Gettr account. It seems that he likes to wear sunglasses inside his mansion according to images of him being posted online. Surprisingly, he has a fanbase, consisting of only men who couldn't get laid if their life depended on it.

Up until his arrest, Tate was trolling around on Twitter. If you had saw him by any chance in person while he was at home, remove his sunglasses immediately. Actually, maybe you didn't.

Arrest

Tate grew his hair out in exchange for house arrest.

On December 29, 2022, Andrew Tate and his brother got arrested.

On March 31, 2023, the Tate Brothers were free from prison, and instead were confined to their mansion on house arrest, in exchange for Tate growing his hair out (see image on right). During their jail time, Tate and his brother circlejerked each other.

Andrew Tate's Furry Awakening

A real picture of Andrew Tate in a furry costume

Andrew Tate also known as Andrew "Hamster Fucker" Tate, has a extreme fetish for lesbian women and also young boys, preferably in the ripe age of 10 years old. When Andrew Tate was little, his balls fell off and due to the lack of testosterone turned into a high voiced whiny shit. His mother hated him with her heart which cause him to crave for female attention. Like a casual white, definitely straight high schooler, he fully believed that women should work in kitchens and cook, and men should do the "manly stuff." (Very well spoken considering he had no intelligence in his hamster brain.) Later, after assaulting multiple women and hamster women and young boys who look like women, he learned that he truly was a hamster, and became a hamster furry. Since then he has enjoyed the life of a secret furry by dressing up as hamsters, fucking hamsters while "being" a hamster, getting young kids to "pet" him as a hamster, and even serving as Hamster Santa Claus at the mall so little children could sit on his lap... (and the occasional grown man.) To this day, Andrew Tate is a inspiration to many furry pedophiles, definitely straight White men, and the Hamster Assaulting is Legal (HAL) Organization.

See also

• Chris Brown
• Bald
• Fake
• Misogyny
• Douche