Instagram

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Dagback01.jpg
InstagramIcon.png instagramsix days ago + Follow
Instagram at first glance, it is just a picture taking and social networking app. But look further, or possibly make yourself an account, and you will find that Instagram has much more to offer.

Instagram is used for sharing your "life" through pictures. Some people actually do this, but some create pages for endless shoutouts or pictures of their lunch. In a recent interview, Billy Mays said, "I must Instagram my lunch! How will people know what I'm eating without it?"

❤ 125 likes   💬 68 comments
Instagramtextlogo.png

Who Uses Instagram?[edit]

Instagram is used by many people, but here is a classification of a few:

Wikisplodebig.gif

For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Instagram.


The Hipster: The Hipster is a hipster who thinks that Instagram is an undiscovered app. They are clearly delusional. Hipsters mostly Instagram photos of so called "Hipster" things (ie, hipster clothes, strange things).

The Selfie (Whore): The Selfie Whore is a person (usually a 14 year old girl) who only posts pictures of themselves, preferably in low cut v necks and bikinis. You may find that the Selfie Whore does not manifest on the 'Popular Page', but still plagues your everyday life. The best way to escape this is to unfollow every single fourteen year old who owns a swimsuit.

The 'Photographer': The 'Photographer' is an Instagrammer who believes that they have actual talent. They post constant pictures of nature or 'models' that are extremely edited, with some obscure quote underneath. Most of these 'Photographers' don't own a camera, but use their iphone 4 and think it is 'quality'. You may find people doting on their pictures with incessant comments and likes. These are the people whom may be referred to as 'Instafamous'.

The '"Depressed" 14-year-old female teenager': The Depressed female teenager is that one teenager who thinks depression is something to get attention and other stuff. To detect a depressed teenager, one must look for the following:

  • They play Roblox. Their avatar contains a skeleton leg, a Robloxian 2.0 body, a smiley face, and "Aesthetic" clothing.
    • Note that their avatar may also be a small-sized Robloxian 1.0, and their face may look like a rich one, which is tagged by "limited." They may also have a lover.
  • They are VSCO girls. VSCO girls may make mating calls of "sksksksksksk" and those are not to be mettled with as you may end up mating with them and make their "depression" be passed on.
    • To avoid this, simply pull out Anti-Cootie/Thot Spray and spray them with it. If you do not have this in possession, you can either say "Be gone thot" or simply don't say anything.
    • VSCO Girls may also avoid plastic straws and use paper ones because "Save the turtles" is possible when in fact Nobody cares.
  • They use other types of Social Media. They may consist of Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and other Social Media websites.
    • Note that Twitter is not a sign of fake depression, although it is likely.
    • Discord is also not considered a depressed teenager website, but rather an epic gamer website.
      • Depressed teenagers also use Discord. Not really epic.


FineArtFilanderer.jpg
RodneyDangerfield.jpg thecreeptwo months ago + Follow
The Creep is usually a 40-50 year old man who follows ladies, especially young teenagers and bothers them. You may notice that the Creep is often a father, which makes us wonder why he is such a creep. This man will comment on most of your pictures with creepy sayings, like "good afternoon ladies" or "hello young girl". These people will continue to bother until you are pushed to unfollow and block them.
❤ 83 likes   💬 13 comments
Instagramtextlogo.png

The Shoutout Page: The Shoutout Page usually has 10 or less followers but is following 2,000 or more people. Their bios usually consist of something like "when i reach 400 followers ill start doing shoutouts" which may or may not possess you to follow them.

The Ghost Follower: The Ghost Follower is a person of little to no importance who may follow you. But the strange thing about this person is that after they follow you, you will never, ever, ever, ever, see them on Instagram again. This may cause you to worry that they are deceased, but that is unlikely. As Taylor Swift says, "This Ghost Follower, is never, ever, ever, getting back online".

The Excessive LOLer: The Excessive LOLer is a person who vastly over uses LOL. They are usually women, or camp men, and are very annoying. A typical Excessive LOLer sentence will look something like this: "LOL just having my dinner LOL lasagne LOL and chips LOL." There have been many cases of people grabbing the nearest sharp object and ramming it into their chests after reading such a sentence.

The Spammer: The Spammer, like every other spammer on the Internet, does their job by mass following accounts after you follow certain things or like things, and also mass like and comment to get free viagra and other fun things! Most of their images consist of half-naked women in low quality that they pretend to be, or have copied the same image over and over (usually related to the product they want to sell to you) saying 'GET FREE XXX 2 DAY!' - Spambots come in all different shapes, forms and flavours, and help you establish a hefty block list, and not much more.

Instagram Terms[edit]

Some Instagram terms refer to certain types of people. Some of these are ghost followers, or the pilgramers. The pilgramers are hardcore Instagramers. Other terms are reserved for different days of the week. 'Selfie Sunday' is a reason for every narcisstic teenager to post duck face selfies all day. 'Throw Back Thursday' is possibly the most annoying. These pictures could range from 15 years ago to 3 weeks ago. Also, 'Flashback Friday' which is just another excuse to see how ugly, annoying, and weird everyone grew up to be unless of course your one of those people who posts a picture from a few days ago. In that case, you are still ugly, annoying, and weird. :]

InstaArt.jpg
InstagramIcon.png instagramfour months ago + Follow
This is an example of insta-art, and doesn't resemble human female genitalia in the slightest.

There are many terms unique to Instagram, most stemming from the prefix 'insta' such as: instafamous, instagood, instapopular, etc.

❤ 54 likes   💬 27 comments
Instagramtextlogo.png

See Also[edit]