r/reddit• 4 hours ago
Reddit is a social media content aggregation trash heap populated by liberal college dropouts where anyone can (re)post links to things they find on the internet, and then refresh every five seconds in anticipation that their link will quickly become popular, only to get disappointed as their post didn't match up with the capricious whims and fancies of the all-important algorithm. Most content that hasn't been reposted to oblivion probably waits in squalor, only to be reposted several months later by another user to thousands of upvotes. Users that post original content are extremely rare on Reddit, and claimed sightings of OC are usually just stolen from 4chan, while alleged sightings of OC posters have been made, none have been confirmed, and to date 0 OC sightings have been confirmed.
Much of Reddit's fundamental site functions were shamelessly stolen from Slashdot and Digg, sites so ancient anyone who recognizes them should schedule a prostrate exam. In fact, many of Digg's former users moved to Reddit after Digg's controversial redesign in 2010. By the time Reddit did their mandatory controversial redesign in 2018, there were no more competitors to move to. Do note that having any radical belief that the hivemind disagrees with (e.g., "You don't have a shrine of Volodymyr Zelenskyy in your own home? RUSSIAN BOT!") will result in the swift removal of your cherished internet points.
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I personally believe that this issue that everyone is talking about is frankly less agreeable than the rest makes it ought to be ...
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Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking holy shit. You guys cannot believe the holy fucking holy fucking shit that just fucking happened to me ...
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My only motivation for doing so was having the opportunity to post about it on Reddit, because I knew it was guaranteed frontpage material
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He's so cute when he's not trying to claw at my face!
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r/reddit• 4 hours ago
Reddit was founded by Steve Huffman and Alexis Ohanian in 2005, then 22-year-old graduates of the University of Virginia, one of their political science professors told the pair that they should one day start their own web site so ultra-liberal college professors will have a web site that their students can be brainwashed to submit their blogs and articles to, as a propaganda attempt to create an ultra-liberal version of the New World Order. The first version of Reddit was terrible, it was based on PHPNuke. Then, in 2006, Huffman and Ohanian saw that Digg got there before they did, so they totally stole and copied their web code, and sometimes use a Star Wars theme to get fanboys excited about it and use it more.
During it humble starts, all Reddit could get was spam articles and Livejournal entries about how lame some emo kid's life is, and links to his MySpace and Facebook diaries and comments. Then the usual Macintosh rumor, or Anti-Microsoft rant. It had looked hopeless, but Huffman and Ohanian had contacted their ultra-liberal political science professor from the University of Virginia, and he made his students have assignments to create blogs and articles for Reddit that would promote conspiracy theories and also try to get Ron Paul elected as POTUS. After Digg had created an algorithm to cut down on the fraud of group voting (sockpuppets), as well as an anti-spam algorithm, many users migrated to Reddit as it lacked those things; specially Ron Paul supporters, most of whom were twelve-year-old junior high students who worked as slaves for Ron's campaign with permission of their ultra-liberal teachers to use the school network for political purposes. Each student controlled 144 Reddit accounts, and was advised to write their own blogs and submit them to Reddit. However, many people got upset that articles about Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama got voted down to make room for Ron Paul articles; when they wrote about it, they quickly became exposed to name calling, personal attacks, and having their real names and phone numbers appear in Reddit comments. Some of these people then joined Digg, claiming it made Reddit look like a paradise.
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UPDATE: Thanks for the advice, y'all. Got divorced.
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What other things have you done to inspire the future?
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r/reddit• 4 hours ago
Reddit is organized into subreddits, which are communities for people with extremely specific interests to talk to other people with those same interests. Unlike 4chan boards, they can be made by anyone, although they probably won't get popular. Some notable ones are listed below.
- r/Uncyclopedia The subreddit named after Uncyclopedia that is also, shockingly, about Uncyclopedia. Nobody uses this one. Move on.
- r/funny Claims to be the largest humor depository on the site. This has been debated, although it is likely true, as it just has more posts than any other subreddit. However, the ratio of funny posts to unfunny posts is painfully average (less than 1:100).
- r/AskReddit The largest subreddit dedicated to pr0n, although it claims to be a place for people to ask questions. While people do ask questions here, 99% of them are related to sex and are written by teenage neckbeards. Responses are usually written by 80-year-old men claiming to be teenage girls. Either way, the vast majority of this subreddit's users have never had sex.
- r/atheism A subreddit dedicated to being euphoric. However, the kind of euphoria that r/atheism users seek do not come from a phony god's blessing, but from being enlightened by their own intelligence. Unfortunately, due to the fact that most of the members are morons, they will never achieve this. Thus, the subreddit is full of teenagers with an oppression complex, claiming that they are being abused by the world for being atheist and that they are actually perfect. This subreddit is the home and birthplace of the neckbeard, although they have since branched out to the extent where destroying the core would probably not get rid of them.
- r/WhitePeopleTwitter Once a subreddit dedicated to slightly humorous
tweetsposts written by white people, it is now a breeding ground for political brainrot and jerking each other off. The subreddit's users will believe whatever people tell them if it supports their beliefs, leading to 90% of the posts on the subreddit being made up allegations. In the end, it's still white people on the website formally known as Twitter. - r/BlackPeopleTwitter The exact same white people from r/WhitePeopleTwitter, except they speak in faux ebonics. The inspiration for Get Out.
- r/pics It's r/pictures for people who don't know how to spell "picture". Since that describes most Redditors, r/pics is significantly larger than r/pictures. True to its name, r/pics does contain pictures. The pictures posted to the subreddit almost never add anything to it; usually they're just photos of Donald Trump doing something, with the comments mocking him. If it's not Donald Trump, it's usually a photo of John Oliver, who seems to be some sort of god they worship despite claiming to be atheist. Those who manage to praise John Oliver and mock Donald Trump can easily get over 9000 Reddit karma in under an hour, which is a status symbol or something like that.
- r/memes One of the many Subreddits about memes, r/memes is inhabited by social outcasts of all ages, but most are between the ages of 13 and 17 or over 35. While there is a nonzero chance that you will find a gem in the garbage, it's frankly not worth it. Sorting by new may cause you to stumble across some "so bad it's good" posts, and will also lead to you being praised by the community. Unfortunately, approbation from r/memes users isn't very valuable. Most of the posts are just text on one of about 30 images. The only real defense for r/memes is that "it could be worse". Many outsiders doubt the fact that it could get worse, but it somehow does. Speaking of worse ...
- r/animemes Not to be confused with several other Subreddits with nearly the same name that are also popular, r/animemes is NOT about ani memes. While Reddit is a very nerdy website, and Star Wars is popular among nerds, the Subreddit is devoid of memes related to Anakin Skywalker. Actually, scratch that, there might be one or two. But the main theme of the Subreddit is anime memes. To be fully honest, Star Wars should be considered an anime, but I guess it doesn't count. It's kinda clever wordplay, but r/animememes doesn't go over the 20-character limit and is also another popular Subreddit.
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This will obviously not do anything to damage the reputation of atheists online!
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She don't even remember 'Retha Franklin, that's the Queen of Soul. She think's I'm crazy, but maybe I'm just growing old. Can't even get through a night without the Cuervo Gold, and some of that Fine Colombian, if you know what I mean.
UPDATE: Thanks, u/MrLapage! I can totally bring her to the movies.
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r/reddit• 4 hours ago
Reddit users, or "redditors", are usually either stupid teenagers that spend too much time looking at their phones, or white middle-aged men who still live in their mothers' basement. In the worst-case scenarios, it might be an individual of the latter pretending to be an individual of the former. Regardless of their age, it seems most redittors share a single braincell, as they cannot make an individual thought whatsoever. They're also always incredibly horny and in desperate need for the loving touch of another woman (or man).
Women on Reddit are rare, although not absent. However most female redditors still share the same characteristics of their male partners, such a lack of cognitive functions and, in some extreme cases, hatred towards the opposite gender (although this time would be against men).
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I just couldn't bear it. The damn guy thought he was so smug when he managed to steal my precious treasure. But oh, the horror of his face when he saw me with my knife ... I will never forget such a delicious sight ...
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