Telegram (software)
Telegram is the messenger that every single of its users cry and brag about how superior it is to other messengers. 99.9% of all Telegram users are known for their snobbery and them casually whining at WhatsApp users. Nope, Telegram is the best messaging app in the world that everyone in the world should be using! It is far better than every other messaging app in existence!
Why you should use Telegram[edit | edit source]
Here are the reasons why Telegram is superior to every other messenger:
- WhatsApp is spyware!
- It has quality of life features, such as usernames, channels, 60FPS animated stickers, public groups, unlimited free cloud storage, mini-apps, bots, video messages, message editing, self-huffing messages, and even fullscreen premium stickers, ready to be copied from by WhatsApp!
- It has the strongest end-to-end encryption that even outlaws WhatsApp by 400,000,000,000,000%!
- It has guaranteed freedom of speech unlike Big Tech-owned social media platforms that suppress and censor dissent!
- It has plans to become a super-app like Twitter and WeChat by 2050!
- It runs on every platform in existence: smartphones, tablets, computers, laptops, desktops, TVs, toasters, fridges, microwaves, keyboards, mice, monitors, VVR headsets, headphones, floors, ceilings, walls, houses, cities, gaming consoles, and even Etch-A-Sketches - more supported platforms than Doom!
- Even if some big blue blob held our lord and savior Pavel Durov hostage we still don't care!!!
History[edit | edit source]
Pavel Durov has had enough of bragging against Vladimir the Putin of Russia III's attempts to take control of VKontakte so he decided to give up on developing VKontakte, surrendered all of VKontakte to the Russian government, moved away to Dubai, and invented Telegram to retain his respect for people's privacy and freedom of speech. Right after developing Telegram he instantly got 50,000,000 monthly active users the moment the messenger was released. Because Telegram promised freedom of speech several times, big governments and big corporations have attempted to acquire it, shut it down, huff it, nuke it from orbit, and many more, but none of that worked because the Durov pulled up 280,000 shell companies to successfully evade every single government and corporate conspiracy to acquire Telegram.
Nowadays, Telegram is aiming towards becoming a super-app like Twitter and WeChat, packed with various Web3 and AI features, while trying to evade modern-day threats posed to Telegram at the same time. Even if corporations and governments try to force Pavel Durov to implement a fact-checking feature and the Macron regime attempts to arrest and indict Pavel Durov, his dream of Telegram becoming a super-app will still be successful. Even before the 2050 deadline.
The Future of Telegram[edit | edit source]
Eventually, Telegram will evolve into a Web3 AI XR spatial computing crypto metaverse platform to replace all the other social media apps and become the app for everything! By 2050 2045 2030 2027 late 2025 early-mid 2025 it is rumored that Telegram will also have its own metaverse platform so that humanity can finally ascend beyond the rooftop of reality! It is the future - everyone will be using Telegram, especially its rumored metaverse platform, as everyone can finally have the anime cat girls of their dreams!!!
