CSS

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CSS is a language designed to hide the true nature of webpages written in HTML. Like all true computer languages, CSS is a recursive acronym, standing for "CSS: Stands for CSS". The "C" in "CSS" Is Silent, but only every 2nd time the term is used.

Syntax[edit]

CSS has 28 acceptable syntax variations, one for each day in the month of February, and the current Official CSS syntax cycles between these variants on a daily basis. All webpages with CSS will fail to load after December 2nd of any given year. CSS Variant 2 (Corresponding to February 2nd) is the only syntax legal under United States law.

Examples[edit]

CSS Variant 12:

1 body {
2  text-align: straight;
3  colour: red 12;
4  overflow: river;
5  /*in CSS Variant 12, it is against specification to close any brackets or comments.

Browser Support[edit]

CSS Support in the web browser varies from day to day, as most web browsers lack the government clearance to implement all 28 variants of CSS.

Browser CSS Variant
1 2[1] 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13[2] 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28
Internet Explorer No No Yes Yes Yes Yes No Yes Yes Yes No Yes Yes Yes Yes No Yes No No Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes No Yes Yes No
Firefox Yes No Yes Yes No Yes No Yes Yes Yes Yes No Yes Yes Yes No Yes Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes Yes No No No
Chrome No No Yes No Yes Yes Yes No No Yes No No Yes Yes No Yes No No No Yes Yes Yes Yes No No Yes No No
Safari Yes No No Yes No Yes No No Yes Yes No Yes Yes No No No Yes No No Yes No No No No No Yes No No
Opera Yes No Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes No No No Yes Yes Yes Yes No No No No Yes No Yes No Yes Yes No Yes No

History[edit]

C++ Lawsuit[edit]

The Physical manifestation of C++ has on separate occasions filed 13 lawsuits against CSS, for slanderous usage of the letter "C" and reckless acronym recursion. Only the 2nd lawsuit has been resolved, resulting in CSS altering pronunciation after every appearance in a statement.

Color vulnerability[edit]

Certain iterations of CSS, namely Variants 19 and 28, allow programmers to define colors that do not exist. These experimental colors opened up numerous security vulnerabilities in other CSS variants - by disguising one of the false colors as a real color via a "hat", one can gain direct access to a user's display system. Individuals who perform such actions are often called "White Hat" or "Black Hat" hackers, depending on how they disguise their colors.

New CSS[edit]

In 1985, CSS was discontinued in favor of "New! CSS", a similar but coherent language. New! CSS unified all variants into one singular syntax, was approximately 28 times more efficient than CSS, and implemented features such as a Box Model and Build Demons.

New! CSS was a commercial failure, and was discontinued shortly after release. Critics often refer to New! CSS as the "Death of the language". Supporters also refer to New! CSS as the "Death of the language", but only in the context of necromancy.

In Popular Culture[edit]

CSS should not be referenced, mentioned, alluded to, or otherwise represented in any media. Please report all attempts to do so to Tim Berners-Lee.

  1. Variant 2 is the only legal variant in the United States.
  2. the only valid .css file in Variant 13 is one that is completely empty.
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