Go (programming language)

Paper on Typesafety

“Go, is a cruel fucking joke”

~ Ghandi on Go

if err != nil {
 return nil, err
}

“Go, more like Go fuck yourself”

~ Dennis Ritchie on Go

if err != nil {
 return nil, err
}

“Never use Go, otherwise you will already have lost the battle”

~ Sun Tzu, The art of war

if err != nil {
 return nil, err
}

Go (Persian: گه, lit. "shit") is an esoteric programming language made by Google in 2007, Go originated from the aftermath of Ken Thompson mistyping everything trying to program in C while drunk.

if err != nil {
 return nil, err
}

Design

Go was designed as a bad joke out of Ken Thompsons typos in 2007, it was specifically meant to cause cerebral infarction to its users.

if err != nil {
 return nil, err
}

The cerebral infarction caused by the language generated loyal users of it, Gophers.

if err != nil {
 return nil, err
}

Usage

People who write Go can't tell what Go could be used for due to the cerebral infarction it causes.

if err != nil {
 return nil, err
}

Go can be perfectly used for the quick loss of brain cells and is a great method of self torture.

if err != nil {
 return nil, err
}

Code example

We would provide more examples, but every single piece of Go ever written looks identical.

if err != nil {
 return nil, err
}

So it is basically useless to provide more examples.

if err != nil {
 return nil, err
}

foo := map[string][]map[string]map[string]bool{
        "fuck": []map[string]map[string]bool{
            map[string]map[string]bool{
                "this": map[string]bool{"language": true},
                "i'm":  map[string]bool{"having a stroke": true},
            },
            map[string]map[string]bool{
                "god": map[string]bool{"someone": true},
                "help":  map[string]bool{"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA": true},
            },
        },
        "REEEEEE": []map[string]map[string]bool{
            map[string]map[string]bool{
                "my fingers":     map[string]bool{"hurt": true},
                "please fucking": map[string]bool{"shoot me": true},
            },
        },
    }

if err != nil {
 return nil, err
}