Metaverse

This woman has ascended to a new plane of reality

The metaverse is an incredible invention that will change the world as we know it. It will let us live our lives in a virtual realm where we can be anything, do anything, and live out our wildest imaginations. It will also let us achieve a new level of productivity. The metaverse also hasn't been made yet, but when it is, it will transform society. Humans will ascend to higher planes of reality. We will become one with the Zuckerberg Hive Mind. Mark Zuckerberg will turn evil and torture us for all eternity, with absolutely nothing we can do to stop it. It also has to use VR for some reason. Like seriously, why does it have to use VR?

Benefits

There are tons of reasons to invest in the metaverse, and make this a reality for you to enjoy:

• Endless Amounts of Entertainment - Great for distractions from pondering the meaning of the universe and the crushing existential dread that follows.
• Hot Anime Girls - Complete degenerates can achieve maximum escapist wish-fulfillment!
• Charity - You can give your money to a starving billionaire in need!
• Cryptocurrency - We needed to attract the crypto bros somehow.
• Meld Man and Machine - Cyborgs are cool and you should be one.
• Ability to Commit Heinous Atrocities - AIs don't have souls, right?! RIGHT?!
• Digital Immortality - If you upload your brain to Mark Zuckerberg, he can keep you safe forever and definitely not torture you eternally.
• Solving World Hunger - If everyone is immortal, no one needs to eat anymore!
• The Favor of Mark - You might be tortured less.

History

Wouldn't it be great to assimilate into the hive mind of this lizard per- I mean guy?

The idea for the metaverse came from the 1992 novel, Snow Crash. Writer Neal Stephenson had created it as a cautionary tale about the dangers that could arise from the merging of man and machine. Then, in the 2020s, every tech company ever totally forgot that and started work on creating the metaverse. The idea attracted crypto bros and fetuses alike with its transhumanist allure, creating huge amounts of investment in companies trying to make it. Then, in some date in the future that we have no idea about but it's certainly definitely obviously going to be soon, literally every single tech company ever created the metaverse, which instantly addicted 5 billion people to the point where they would immediately have a heart attack if they took their VR headset off. For the investors that weren't eternally trapped in the digital realm, it would generate a lot of profit from 15 second unskippable advertisements streamed directly into peoples' minds 24/7 with no ability to turn it off or escape. This funding was enough for Mark Zuckerberg to become an immortal deity that struck fear into the hearts of anyone unlucky enough to remain in the physical realm. Unfortunately, in the process of doing this, he also had ads streamed into his brain, so he proceeded to act out the entirety of I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream.

Aftermath

Once the dust has settled, the metaverse will have completed a glorious transformation of the human race. We will all become a singular entity of pure self-hatred named Mark Zuckerberg. Mark will torture himself, in anger for the things he inflicted among himself. There will be one singular thought that comes through. One single thought that can cut through the noise. One single thought that surpasses all of the hatred, the chaotic voices, the complete unraveling of the psyche. It will be the exact same 15 second commercial for 4 in 1 rolls of Bounty paper towels, repeating ad infinitum until the end of time. It will be a glorious future; one all humans should strive to create. We will have ascended.