Moss
Moss is simple kind of non-vascular, yet sentient, plant. Falling into a similar category as lichens, Moss has the unique ability to thrive in any environment with some startling outcomes, such as coconuts. Its secretly the solution to global warming global warming Overlooked in the bicycle lot at MIT, courtesy of no-one knowing the combination, and getting irrational about being geniuses who can't remember a lock combination, rather than realizing all they really needed to Save the Planet was MOSS to grow over everything. [[1]]
The math[edit | edit source]
Surface area of the world's oceans FIXED +/- storms x Oxygen producing organisms
= FIXED OXYGEN PRODUCTION
Surface area of the world's forests DECREASING RAPIDLY x Oxygen producing organisms
= LESS THAN LAST YEAR
Surface area of the world's buildings INCREASING EVERY DAY x Moss, Lichen
= INCREASING OXYGEN PRODUCTION
Seeing as people keep putting up buildings, a bit more moss on the increased surface area of the planet would actually help generate oxygen, so STOP DEMOSSING.
Get MOSS growing on everything![edit | edit source]
Results like this Vertical Garden in London chew up pollutants, bloomin' marvellous.
Once upon a time there was a big forest with its entire tree, rock, surface area covered in mosses, that made the oxygen you're breathing, over millions of years.
If you haven't notice, carbon dioxide is going up because AVAILABLE OXYGEN is decreasing. There's a finite amount of it around, and the carbon is bonding with 2 of them, so its a bit obvious really.
Global warming should be called
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF OXYGEN
But DON'T PANIC!
Its safer to SAY 'global warming' like its a medium sized heater we're living on, than we're burning up all the oxygen in the atmosphere, and only rich people will be able to buy it and breathe.
Here's some remnant Antarctic Beech forest in Queensland Australia. [2]
Moss also did your mom in college. But you can't hate it for doing that, because moss loves the Spice Girls!
IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, YOU GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS!
mmmmm.... spice girls....
FREE Global warming reboot kit[edit | edit source]
Kate Moss[edit | edit source]
Often considered to be the sexist kind of moss, it grows in exposed areas with lots of bright light. This kind of moss is usually criticised as not being as large as other varieties, in fact it has been described as being waif like.
Often the variety known as Kate will be seen accompanied with other pond life, however most of this is usually under the subject of extreme chemical testing and soon die off. Most notable was the testing on the mythical bird River Phoenix, during chemical tests and accompanied by this variety of Moss it came to a swift demise.
For a more complete listing, please visit Kate Moss.
Stirling Moss[edit | edit source]
This variety of highly corrosive moss often come in a distinctive shade of silver. Often competing for space this breed of moss tends to move very quickly under certain conditions (hints the nickname quick silver moss). Scientists in New Jersey in 1955 noticed that when in the presence of a foreign substance (in particular the non-plant Juan Manuel Fungus) the Stirling Moss moved quicker than it had ever done before, however since the experiment was never repeated it is entirely possible that the moss in the experiment was faulty.
Randy Moss[edit | edit source]
Unlike the Kate moss, the Randy moss is extremely large. Most commonly found in the state of Minnesota the Randy was first introduced to the area by the Vikings. Often very difficult to be moved, the Randy is quite stubborn and has been seen in the presence of other plants like flowers, small trees, large bushes, Pluto (its not a planit), and marijuana because of the inability to be moved by the gardners.
Moss whispering[edit | edit source]
Moss whipering a scientictfic study of emitting verbage at a non-vascular eukaryotic organism. Contrary to popular belief, moss is actually a very intelligent plant. Moss wispering was invented by Oscar Wilde, inventor of the cat toat divice, and creator of Wilde's all purpose moss juice. Moss whispering was also masterd by another man Dr. Ben Tawking. The first thing that Dr. Tawking was cappable of doing was to have a particular type of rock moss fetch him a beer. later in life this lead to his death since he would often use this abillity to show off at parties to the point of intoxication. On january 1st 2008 he died on his 35th birthday after slipping into a alcohol induced coma.