From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Influencer is the Young-Talents' favorite job. Highly popular among the educated, all that is required to become an Influencer is a stupid face and the absence of brains, which is facilitated by the recent progress made in brain-removal surgery in this new exciting century, where neural-network technology is bound to soon tell you what to consume anyway.

What Does An Influencer Do?[edit | edit source]

A group of highly educated teens informing the youth of the wonders that await them if they purchase whatever crap they are selling.

This very ethical bunch typically thrive by preying on the weakly minded in order to focus their attentions on very important matters, like eating spaghetti with your nose or being splatted to death after a 20 stories high fall while attempting a challenge on top of a building. Their cunning in appealing to the clever is only matched by their ability to provide videos enhanced with various cartoons audio samples like "bamf!", "oops.." or "zoing!!!".

Becoming An Influencer[edit | edit source]

If you are not a hetero white male, chances are that you are already predisposed to become an excellent Influencer and you didn't even know it! It effectively requires qualities that are seldomly found in people who attend prestigious schools (ew, schools) and read books instead of comics (ew, books). Needless to say, Influencers along with Influenceds are actively contributing to provide access to higher levels of the social hierarchy and consciousness to the minorities.

Influencers And Philosophy[edit | edit source]

Since Aristotle, the metrics have somewhat evolved concerning the reach and truthfulness of a discourse. While it used to be important to support worthy ideas in this obsolete past, it is now largely more convenient to estimate the usefulness of a concept based solely on the number of views displayed below the video of an Influencer. Armed with an unprecedented level of awareness and education, these geniuses can now vote for a president with all the might of their modern intellect. What an amazing progress!


For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about the alphabet mafia.