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Hax, also often referred to as hacks or h4x, is a 1337 word used to describe shady mods used in Online Video Games that reward an otherwise pitiful player with super-skillz. It is usually used by n00bs when they lose, and it often replaces going to cry to your mother, smashing your computer in anger and asking you mother for a new one, or wasting hours trying to actually play fair and nearly killing yourself out of frustration.

Origins of Hax[edit | edit source]

The term "hax" was derived from the term "hacks", which essentially means "multiple and successful attempts to screw up a software." Originally, the term "hax" was used to describe all kinds of questionable cyber-activity, such as taking over somebody's e-mail account, or setting off a pornographic e-bomb on your "friend's" website. However, as such disruptive activities continued to rise, the Governments of various countries began working on something known as "cyber law", which essentially meant that all the disruptive cyber-assholes would be spending a fine time in jail for ruining other internet users' lives. This soon led to the downfall of cyber-asshattery and people were able to use the Internet in peace yet again.

However, the usage of "hax" resurfaced due to the popularity of competitive online video games. Like every other walk of life, these competitive video games were also chock-full of pitiful losers who couldn't pwn their peers even if they went AFK and watched three sappy rom-coms in a row. These people would soon grow desperate to salvage their shattered self-esteem. So desperate in fact, that instead of actually working on their social lives, they began looking for ways to break the game's software. They would do anything, anything to stop getting pwnt all the time. Then, the power of "hax" was rediscovered. By downloading all sorts of incomprehensible codes that made them champions of the online gaming universe, these people were able to feel good about themselves again, were able to spend days joyfully saying "I pwnt you!" yet again. And best of all, they could share the sacred knowledge of "haxx0r" with those whom they knew needed it the most. This was because hax were usually available for free download, provided you downloaded the porn vids that came bundled along with them.

The spread and usage of hax has been rampant ever since, since nobody who has a job cares about online video games enough to keep a check on what's going on.

Hax Terminology[edit | edit source]

  • Hax - The noun of the object, "hax". Generally used by 1337speakers.
  • Haxor - One who uses hax, usually an outcast who is very ugly and useless to society, OR A mysterious shrine maiden skilled at dealing with lolis with miniguns.
  • Haxee - The victim of the Haxor's Hax, who will usually become emo and sit in a corner daily for the rest of their lives, afraid to show off their skillz again.

How do I use hax?[edit | edit source]

Well, first you start by buying a game that you don't know how to play, then immediately going to Online Mode and getting pwned by all the players. This will result in a general applause of "Noob!", "Rofl!" and "Lololololol!" Ignore these people, as they are insignificant and will not be missed when the world ends. Go to a dodgy website that offers shady pr0n downloads and find a hax. Download the hax and laugh in an evil manner. Now, apply your hax! Next, pwnz0r people until you are bant from the Server. Now, you can download another hax to pwndizzle the banning nubs so that you can use your previous hax again (though this does amount to cyber-crime and could land you in jail.) Rinse & Repeat. If you still get pwnz0rd you are not worthy of playing video games and should instead devote your time to less strenuous activities, such as nothing.