Cyberbullying

- The following is an essay on Cyberbullying written in 2017
by Robert S (age 13 at the time) from New Braunfels, Texas.
Cyberbullying is like regular bullying except it's not really bullying. It was a term invented by whiny losers who didn't like it when I called Trevor a homo online, and then Trevor tattled to his mom, and then his mom told my mom, and then I got grounded for a month, I couldn't even play Minecraft, gawd! Just because I called Trevor a homo bitch (and it wasn't even a gay slur)! Cyberbullying is not real because it's not even in real life and Trevor deserved it because he ruined my iron farm when I was AFK, and he blamed it on a creeper even though I put torches everywhere, and my iron farm wasn't even on the ground, it was really high, so it couldn't spawn in a cave because you can't even reach it without an Elytra! And that homo wrecked it. So tell me, how would a creeper get up there Trevor? Huh? You just wanted to destroy it because I said your family was poor and uses more food stamps than the rest of us. That farm was everything to me you homo (which I mean virtually, and not real like).
History[edit | edit source]
Trevor is the real bully. I don't even know what a "cyberbully" is. He called me a phaggot in Ms. Wilkin's class and he didn't even get in trouble for being a homophobic, but I did, because I called him a phaggot back and Ms. Wilkin's (who is a BITCH) heard it and said I was being a homophobic, and I said I didn't say f*ggot, I said phaggot which starts with a PH, but she said that doesn't make any sense and said I was being mean to Trevor, even though he called me a phaggot first! She said I needed to apologize, but I said "Trevor said it first!" but she didn't believe me, and Trevor started laughing so I threw my Lunchables at him, and then some of it got into his eye, and then he started to scream and start to hit me, so I hit him, and then I got sent to detention! Because Trevor was being a phaggot! Also, he was allergic to the lunchable meat so had to go to the hospital and wear a pirate like eye patch which was hilarious and I thought people would call him a phaggot more. But then people thought he was cool wearing a pirate like eye patch and I hate that guy so much he is the real bully, getting popular when really people should make fun of you for being allergic to salami. Gawd!
Origins[edit | edit source]
Then I went to detention and they used to take people's phones away, but Jonjon (who is Wasian), they tried to take his phone away so he started banging his head on the desk until he was bleeding, and then the teachers freaked out, so they don't take your phones away from the start, but only if you really misbehave. So I had my phone and I texted Mark that Trevor was a homo, and he smelled like balls, because he likes to suck on balls, and then Mark said I can't say that anymore because it hurts their feelings if you say gay people suck balls. And then I said, "I'm not saying Trevor is gay, I just said he's a homo who sucks balls, and that's different!" Like a homo is not a gay, and a phaggot is not a homo! I don't care if you suck balls and like it. That's cool. I'm just saying your a homo who sucks balls. It's not the same. It's not that hard to get the difference.
Rise of social media[edit | edit source]
But then Mr. Winkler (who is the detention supervisor and he is a BITCH and a predator who rents out a basement in someone's house because he's extra poor) saw my phone and took it and then he started to read what I texted Mark, which I'm pretty sure is illegal! And then he said, "What are you doing in detention? Your detention starts on Monday" because this was a Friday, "You're getting another day of detention for skipping class!" which is fucking stupid because they told me to go to detention, and so I go to detention, but I'm supposed to stay in Ms. Wilkins' class the rest of the day and then go to detention on Monday? If I'm on detention when I'm not supposed to be I should get double credit it for it, not have to do more. I stole some of his food stamps from his wallet when he wasn't looking. I hope he enjoys instant noodles for two weeks. Also, everyone says Mr. Winkler likes to coach girl's lacrosse because he's a creep, so why does he think he's better than me?
Prevention[edit | edit source]
So my mom took my computer and said I can't play Minecraft for a whole month, which is so stupid because I didn't do anything wrong, and Trevor gets to play with his computer all the time because his parents are never home which is totally unfair, and I hate it because I have to go to my brother's room to play Minecraft and his room smells like sour towels! But when I went back on the server Trevor griefed my base! All my diamond armor is missing, and he killed my dog! And then I said in chat, "TREVOR U PhAg000tt" (they don't allow the f‑word in chat) "you griefed my base!" and he said that it was my fault because I put a lava fountain inside my base (which is really cool), and I said he's a total retard because firetick is off but he said that only applies to lightning, which is WRONG! If you turn firetick off it still applies to lava pools! Everybody knows this! I hate Trevor I hope his dad goes to the store to buy beer and never comes back and that his mom never stops beating him.
Stopping the spread[edit | edit source]
So I went to Trevor's base, which is so far from spawn I had to go to the nether and Elytra there because he destroyed the rails. He says the Ghasts did it, does he think I'm retarded? Ghasts can't spawn if you're not in the chunk you fucking phaggot! I used up all my token of undying, but I reached his base, and I lava casted everything and blew up everything with dynamite! Fuck you Trevor! I said, "Uhhhh maybe the Endermen did it" and he said "Endermen don't lavacast" so he got a taste of his own medicine! I convinced him it actually was an Endermen even though it couldn't have been because he really is a stupid homo phagget (cyber like, not real bullying).
But then he made a Swastika on his old base and said I did it! Which I didn't! He's lying! I don't even know how to make that in Minecraft. And obviously he was pretending it was me when it wasn't because he used Black Wool, I would have used Obsidian, which doesn't mean I would have done it, but if I did I would've used Obsidian because I have Efficiency V on my pickaxe but he's stuck using stone because he doesn't know anything and he's retarded. Then his mom told the principal and now everyone thinks I hate Jews! Trevor's not even Jewish, his dad is Jewish, and everyone knows your mom has to be Jewish for you to be Jewish, otherwise you just have a Jewish dad, which doesn't mean anything.
Trevor sucks! He's a bitch! So now I have to spend four weeks in detention reading the Diary of Anne Frank to prove I don't hate Jews, which is so boring, oh my gawd, why would you sit in an attic writing a diary when you could be playing minecraft? Gawd! Even if she was lame, she wasn't as much of a homo phagget as that fucking phaggotty ass homo Trevor. And I'm not even bullying him because I am saying this online and it never counts (unless you threaten to kill the president, never do that online, even if that's online, that is bullying and you'll go to jail in Honduras, where there is no internet, and a lot of bullying (not cyber bullying). Fuck it, Trevor is a total phagget. I'll even say it in real life because I mean it. He's a homo who licks hairy balls. I don't care if it's bullying to say it out loud, cause everyone knows its true.