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From today's featured article
Dick Willie Johnson: Hey there folks! Thank you for tuning in to the Presidential Wrestling Classic! As always I'm your host, Dick Willie Johnson, joined by my good friend and colleague, Bud "Lite" Bigmeat.
Bud: Yes, let me be the first to tell everyone that we have one hell of a show for y'all tonight. This is something truly special.
Dick: Folks, grab a cold beer and just enjoy the show tonight. No matter how old you are, grab a goddamn beer, crack that sumbitch open and get a little buzz going.
Bud: Goddamn right, Dick. I got me some Jack Daniels! My absolute favorite, as I'm sure you all know! (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that What's-his-name off that thing (Pictured) was in that film with that other dude?
- ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
- ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
- ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke?
- ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
- ... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?
- ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
In the news
- New York City goes full Commie, elects Zohran Mamdani as mayor (Pictured)
- Los Angeles Dodgers win World Series with lucky bullshit, become the Kansas City Chiefs of baseball
- Dingo eats a woman's baby
- Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star.
- Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life
- Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years
- The US government continues to shit itself
- Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake
- BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children
- Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
- Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
- Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C. • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Republicans and rich people fleeing NYC
Recent deaths: Charlie Kirk • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • A guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefs • Capitalism in NYC • Blue Jays fans' livers and kidneys
On this day
November 9: NWS Day (UK), NSW Day (Wales), NSFW Day (Pornovia), Blow Up a Whale Day (Oregon)
- 10000 BC - The wheel is invented by some caveman
- 1951 - The day the Earth stood still.
- 1970 - The Florence, Oregon Highway Department blows up a whale for no reason. An explosives expert's car gets hit by a chunk of dead whale.
- 1989 - The Berlin Wall is closed due to wolves.
- 2001 - The November 9th attacks destroy the World Trade Center in New York City and part of The Pentagon in Washington, D.C., and down a passenger airliner in Pennsylvania. In total, almost 3,000 are killed. But only in the UK and countries that use sensible date conventions.
Picture of the day
| Early Victorian advances in kitten huffing technology were spearheaded by the notorious kit-head Algernon Falstrop. Image credit: Sannse |
Other areas of Uncyclopedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
Sister projects
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UnNews
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Uncyclopedia
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HowTo
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UnBooks
Content-free books -
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Useless misquotes -
Uncycloversity
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UnPoetia
Dreams deferred -
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant -
UnScripts
We ruin stage too -
Why?
Because -
UnReviews
Hack frauds -
UnVoyage
Armchair travel -
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,948 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
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