Main Page
From today's featured article
Kirkification (officially called Metamopho Two Guy Who Got Shot) is an incredibly dangerous viral infection that can target anyone (that can pay the rent to use the internet), but mostly targets popular internet streamers or celebrities. When one catches the virus, their skin turns a sickly pale color, as their haircut begins to look god-awful. Or, in layman's terms, they turn into Charlie Kirk. The first cases of this outbreak were recorded in late September of 2025, or 0 A.K. (After Kirk.) The most commonly recognized catalyst for the outbreak is the death of the right-wing podcaster and professional deadbeat father, Charlie 'Liberal Crusher' Kirk.
On September 10th, 2025, young Kirk traveled to Utah Valley University, a place nobody had ever heard of, because it was in Utah. There, many young, vile, tree-hugging liberal wackos questioned the enlightened Kirk about various issues of the day. When one young man asked about how many mass shooters there had been in the US in the past ten years, Kirk replied "Counting or not counting gang violence?" Charlie was then shot through the neck by one Tyler Robinson, who had engraved on his bullets such phrases as 'UwU, notices your bulge.' (Seriously.) Suffice to say, we cannot tell whether he was far-right or far left. Unknown to Robinson, lodged inside Charlie 'Ow My Balls' Kirk's neck, was Pandora's Box, which had been hidden there, and was the direct cause of his stunted facial growth. When Robinson shot Kirk, the latch on the box was open, and all the evils sealed inside the box were released into the world. Such evils included the popularity of Mexican Nazi, Nick Fuentes, the song 'We are Charlie Kirk,' and the Kirkification Virus. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured)
- ... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
- ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?
- ... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?
- ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
In the news
- Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland (Pictured)
- Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
- Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy
- Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win
- Starmer announces plans to make tweeting illegal in the UK
- Trump given yet another Nobel Peace Prize for ending war he started 3 hours ago
- Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs
- UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday
- Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches!
- ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America
- North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island
- Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up."
- 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong
- Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth"
- The New York Yankees now fucking suck
Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate • Bills Mafia drinking themselves to death • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day
Recent deaths: Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Buffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenure • Denver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas City "Chiefs" • Aaron Rodgers' career • Bills' Super Bowl window
On this day
January 29: Conservative Chic Day
- 1850 - Henry Clay introduces the "Great Compromise of 1850" to congress, which frees all slaves, but only on weekends.
- 1861 - Kansas is admitted into the union only because the country would look kinda weird with a Kansas-shaped gap in the middle of it.
- 1916 - Paris is bombed by German Zeppelins during World War I, French are amazed by the steampunk aesthetic.
- 2000 - Conservative columnist Ben Shapiro, world record holder for longest stay inside a locker, loses his virginity to an especially sensuous pair of tweed pants. (Pictured)
- 2009 - Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is sentenced to fourteen years in jail for false advertising after the Senatorship he was selling was only an assistant mayoral council seat.
- 2017 - David Harbour soapboxes like a mofo at the Film Actors Guild (FAG) Awards.
Picture of the day
 |
Windows XP is a reliable computer program, as shown here. Image credit: Guest |
Other areas of Uncyclopedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
Sister projects
-
UnNews
News on crack -
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia -
Undictionary
Best left unsaid -
UnTunes
Noisy things -
UnGames
Ways to waste away -
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures -
UnBooks
Content-free books -
Unquotable
Useless misquotes -
Uncycloversity
No student loans -
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred -
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant -
UnScripts
We ruin stage too -
Why?
Because -
UnReviews
Hack frauds -
UnVoyage
Armchair travel -
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation
Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,099 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
-
10,000+ articles
-
1,000+ articles
Suomi · Dansk · Deutsch · 한국어 · 正體中文 · 汉语 · Русский · Norsk (Bokmål) · Bahasa Indonesia · Česky · ไทย · Esperanto · Ελληνικά · Nederlands · Galego · עברית · Svenska · Slovenčina · Magyar · Українська
-
100+ articles
فارسی · عَرَبِيّ · Türkçe · Català · Norsk (Nynorsk) · Српски / Srpski · Hrvatski · Lietuvių · Latina · Tagalog · Български · Simple English · Latviešu · Mirandés · Македонски · Română · Cymraeg