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From today's featured article
The Polar bear (Ursus vegetarius) is native to the Arctic, and is the largest and friendliest land mammal in Canada. Like its close cuddly relative the cuddly Panda, it is classified in the order carnivora even though it is strictly herbivorous. Due to its popularity in the Coca-Cola commercials it is projected to surpass the panda in cuteness and cuddliness by the year 2012. If you see a Polar Bear, you should totally approach it and give it a friendly hug, because their fur is so snuggly and soft. They have a wholly undeserved reputation as ferocious predators, when in fact they couldn't be more cuddly, and can be easily beaten in a fight - for more information, see HowTo:Beat a Polar Bear in a Fight. Polar Bears are your friends. Whatever those pesky penguins tell you. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that 9/11 (Pictured) was an outside job?
- ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
- ... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... You can do anything with creativity, determination, and the exploitation of the working class?
- ...that you just lost the Game?
- ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
- ... that there is one imposter among us?
In the news
- Kid (and ball) escape narrow car crash
- Robert F. Kennedy Jr. engulfs every panda bear in existence (Pictured)
- Kardashian and Ye do washed up things
- We have road copters
- Mummy Pig's pregnancy sparks paternity drama
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz finally takes full control over the Tri-State Area
- UnNews remembers Michelle Trachtenberg
- Cinema ceiling makes dramatic entrance during Captain America screening
- UnSports update for February!
- USA and Canada take their trade war to the ice hockey rink. Literally.
- Philadelphia Eagles ruin Super Bowl "3-peat" dreams for Kansas City Chiefs, Taylor Swift
- And more!
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrants • Taylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • DOGE firings and budget cuts • Release of all the JFK and Epstein Files, purportedly • March Madness • Tornadoes shredding the American South • Post-apocalyptic streaming movies starring Stranger Things actors
Recent deaths: Michelle Trachtenberg • Gene Hackman, wife and dog, too • Skype • Kingda Ka • David Johansen, The New York Dolls, and Buster Poindexter • UnSpoiler and BeGone extensions • Space Ghost • Tesla's stock • Bob Rivers • Meghan Markle's Netflix show • The Electric State • Kurt from Good Burger • George Foreman • 23andMe
Upcoming deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse • Pope Francis • Meghan Markle's remaining likeability • "Snow Woke and the Seven Pronouns" • Your March Madness bracket and bank account • Tornado Alley • Somebody from The Rugrats Movie
On this day
March 25: International Moose Preservation Day
- 26 AD - The Pontius Pilot is released in Rome, now Roman citizens can plan their Crucifixions from the comfort of their own villas.
- 1763 - The oboe is created in France, right before it drowns to the underworld being the only last remnant of France existant.
- 1847 - The Slate industry in Wales suffers a sharp decline after import tariffs on seriously why are you still reading this sentence go to bed.
- 1929 - The stock market crashes, putting an end to the Roaring 20's, and ushering the Squeaking 30's.
- 1950 - The Spanish Inquisition, the television adaptation based on the historical event, makes its debut on Fox quite unexpectedly.
- 1990 - The case of Pot v. Kettle goes to the Mississippi Court of Appeals.
- 2003 - Black & Decker begin preliminary research into self-toasting bread, but their prototypes end up incinerating the stomachs of consumers.
- 2005 - Moose preservation is celebrated on the internet for the first time.
Picture of the day
GI Jew: The Movie is a 2006 remake of the classic Torah! Torah! Torah! of 1967 fame. The remake underwent many names before GI Jew was chosen, including Hebrews with Hutzpah and Israel is Real. Image credit: RadicalX |
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