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From today's featured article
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Rapto-velocity is the speed at which the Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor can fly into the air, sail amidst the clouds, and decimate an entire village. Alternately, it is the speed at which the production of the Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor drives the United States further into debt. The highest recorded raptor-velocity is 24 seconds, achieved during the Iraq War over the peaceful village of Al-Imor, murdering 260 civilians and costing the United States 3 billion dollars in bombs and fuel.
The Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor is a ludicrously costly and efficient mass killing machine. It has a powerful subsonic radar that can spot out enemy aircraft from over 20 miles, has homing missiles that can hit a thumbtack from 16,000 feet away, and a bomb bay that holds over 65 state of the art mini-nukes, or "mooks." All-in-all, a single Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor costs over 16 billion dollars, and can kill over 350 people per minute when fully armed. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
- ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
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In the news
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"I liked Winter Soldier."
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On this day
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October 23: D&D Empowerment Day, a day to let go of your guilt and shame for having played Dungeons & Dragons as a child (or still), and instead reflect upon how it's changed you for the better; National Whack-a-Mole Day (US and Japan).
“It says: With this strength or lower I can only be a Magic User. Re-roll!”
~ Oscar Wilde
- 33 - Jesus creates D&D, the Romans crucify him for this and buries the game where it is found 1900 years later.
- 1966 - International Federation of the Friendless is formed by Gary Gygax and other near-do-wells.
- 1969 - While others are busy engaged in the Summer of Love, Gary Gygax and Friends are busy making their own chainmail armour out of plastic plumbing washers.
- 1970 - Dave Arneson creates a scenario involving an adventure through a castle sewer, in quest of the legendary change room of maidens in waiting. Later arrested for being a peeping tom. Judge was unmoved by his plea that he was doing important game research.
- 1971 - Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson team up to create "The Fantasy Game." Monsters are substituted for maidens, and mountains of loose change for changerooms.
- 1974 - TSR publishes the now-renamed Dungeons & Dragons® game by slapping homemade labels over used cereal boxes. In one year, the entire hand-assembled print run of 1,000 games sells out.
- 1979 - Ozzy Osbourne is chosen as official spokesman, eventually appearing in a commercial where he bites the head off of a Basilisk.
- 1984 - You realise with horror that the phrase "Uncursed +1/+1 Dark Dwarven Mithril Battle-Axe of Guts" no longer sounds completely ridiculous to you.
- 1985 - Everyone starts referring to bottles of water as "Potions of Thirst Obviation" and dictionaries as "Tomes of Acquired Word Definition."
- 2003 - The first woman to play D&D is later discovered to be a shemale .
- 2005 - You catch your wife in bed with another man, but later discover she was just earning 50 experience points with a Helmet of Protection +6.
- 2584 - First D&D player in history gets laid thanks to the lucky roll of a natural 20.
- 3000 - Roughly 500 years after the first D&D player got laid his great, great, great, great grandson becomes Supream Dungeon Master of earth.
- 5000 - the world's first jock plays D&D and becomes D&D master of the universe and all that are contained inside it after beating up Supream Dungeon Master of earth
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