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From today's featured article
— Commodore Terrence Lambert-Simnel
With these words Commodore Terrence Lambert-Simnel (RN retired) became the first man to set foot on the moon. Moments later Group Captain Perkin "Tubby" Warbeck planted the Union Jack in the moon-dust and claimed Earth's only natural satellite for England, for King George and for tax-purposes. Flight Lieutenant Gerald "Stinky" Rawlings stood to attention and saluted through tear-stained eyes from the confines of the command module "Heart of Oak", unable to take part in the actual landing due to a grammar school education.
The story of how these two brave men and their batman came to be 400,000 kilometres from the nearest tea-shop is one of the most inspiring and yet little known tales in modern history. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured)
- ... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost?
- ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
- ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
- ... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we have no pornographic content?
- ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'?
- ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
- ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors?
In the news
- Ukraine wins Eurovision
- Mark Ruffalo professes love of war (Pictured)
- "Weird Al" Yankovic's 15th album: All you DIDN'T want to know
- Nick News: Will Smith banned from Oscars
- MTG tells cops she does not understand jokes
- "Weird Al" Yankovic gives the Russian Invasion a serious treatment
- Fans to SNL: Give n00b more screen time
- Hollywood has changed its name
- Albert Pujols returns to St. Louis
- Cleveland Browns bring in "manly man"
- Finland is canceling its embarrassing history with Russia
- Boney M and Dschinghis Khan rewrite Russia-themed hits
- Covid-positive Earl kills Queen in NBC reboot
- UnNews remembers Mark Lanegan and some more important stuff
- Dog bites alien
- Putin's mum issues apology from afterlife
- This popular article is restricted due to low creator history
- Spotify makes another huge mistake
- The fork is about to invade the spoon
- Rams bar Bengals from playing in Super Bowl
- Boney M removes Neil Young cover from Spotify
- Hundreds of Patients are Stuck in Oregon Hospital Beds
- Bob Saget writes ultimate dirty joke, dies from shock
- Weezer makes Death angry
- Rivers gets promoted by President Biden
- UnNews' Exclusive Interview with God: Part 3
Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA · COVID-19
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin
On this day
May 23: Stop the Stoat Molesting Night
- 818 - The Force is disturbed for the first time. The Force puts a "Do Not Disturb" sign on her door.
- 1783 - Due to a lack of women, American pioneers settle for stoats.
- 1828 - Soap factory accident creates marshmallows.
- 1829 - Marshmallow factory accident creates tupperware.
- 1831 - Tupperware factory accident kills dozens of women and children.
- 1913 - Igor Stravinsky's The Rite Of Spring is first performed in Paris. It is a huge success and nobody riots, not even a little.
- 2006 - Hal 9000 starts an advice column for worried humanoids, fails miserably.
- 2007 - President George W. Bush accidentally knocks over his ant farm and cries.
Picture of the day
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"The cereal where you eat the box!" Image credit: InfiniteMonkey |
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