From today's featured article
John is in his bed and the alarm clock goes off.
RADIO ANNOUNCER 1
It's Grouuuuuuuundhog Day!
RADIO ANNOUNCER 2
That's right. Welcome to another sunny day in beautiful Pittsburgh. Today we're gonna find out if our winter will last another few weeks or not.
John is confused and doesn't really know where he is. The door opens and his son Mark enters.
Happy Groundhog Day Dad!
Dad? Who are you? I don't have a son. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured)
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
- ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
- ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
In the news
- O.J. Simpson to make triumphant return to acting (Pictured)
- Citizen Kane sucks
- John Kerry comes out as a horse
- Supermarket thief: "Donkey Kong told me to"
- Mike Pence turns into a pickle
- It is all happening
- Lady Gaga's dogs stolen, returned
- Björk responds to Anti-Asian violence
- Stan Marsh presents: 2022 FIFA World Cup sucks ass
- Biden responds to North Korea's "Stink" complaints
- BMI songwriters (but not ASCAP) to receive vaccine
- Governor Cuomo from New York is screwed
- Grodin Museum reopens to public
- Old movies are suddenly offensive
- Northeast getting another blizzard
- Just another dead doper and a dirtbag dies
- Marilyn Manson removed from New Radicals hit
- Biden will recognize Hillary as 45th President
On this day
- 456 - Maurading Mongol hoardes are repeatedly given misleading directions, resulting in wide swaths of carnage being cut through unsuspecting and largely unpopulated regions of central Europe.
- 1877 - When asked for directions by a stranger, Oscar Wilde, then at the height of his wit, searingly suggested that the stranger seek directions from his own mother.
- 1922 - Allen Zeitgeist asks for directions to New York from Boston. Told to "turn left where the large tree used to be" the series of events that followed causes the stock mareket crash and the great depression.
- 1939 - Tomasz Wankovszki, a Ukrainian farmer, accidentally starts World War II by sending the German army into Poland, telling them that it is actually a shortcut to Czechoslovakia.
- 1939 - Hitler refuses to order troops to stop at gas station and ask for directions; Warsaw and Krakow invaded by accident.
- 1993 - The shocking discrepancy between men and woman drivers who ask for directions is highlighted in a study by Cambridge professor Dr. Gerry von Coppenfeels.
Picture of the day
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