UnPoetia:Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Unpoetia logo.jpg
archiving only the very best 21st century
poets willing to submit their work
free of chargeMain Page
Idiocrates.jpg
Bust of Idiocrates
Poetry is an art form in which language is used for its obfuscatory qualities in addition to, or instead of, meaningful and useful content. Poetry has a long history, and early attempts to define poetry, such as Aristotle's Poetics, focused on the various uses of speech in rhetoric, drama, song and charming the togas off of potential bed buddies. Contemporary poets, such as Dylan Thomas, often identify poetry not as a literary genre within a set of genres, but as noble way of remaining unemployed and virtually useless to society. Poetry often uses condensed forms and conventions to reinforce or expand the meaning of the underlying words or to invoke irrational or sensual experiences in the reader, as well as using devices such as assonance, alliteration and the rhythm method to achieve musical or incendiary effects.

Recent Poems:

Triste et malum est

Bent double, under luggage and bags,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through queues,
Till on the airport lights we turned our backs,
And towards our distant taxi, well overdue.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their phones,
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the tones
Of a cough coming loudly behind...

(See full article→)

Quill.gif Selected poem

Edit

Do not mow bleckly o'er that dust mite,

For that hyperspace bypass to make way;

Rage, rage against the dying of the mite.

Though Vogons build their roads for reasons right,

Phlegg creatures may be caballed on the way;

Do not mow wreckly o'er that dust mite.

Tiny germs must we strive to treat polite;

Their frail souls might we trounce by our survey;

Rage against the death of the parasite.

Wild spores we catch and stun from flensome flight,

And learn, too late, by our error we slay.

Do not mow bleckly o'er that dust mite.

But men deserve death for their blinded sight;

A predator worthy of being prey;

Rage, rage against the dying of the mite.

Reduce the heathen from their errant height;

Curse, kill them now with your machines, I pray.

Do not mow wreckly o'er that dust mite,

Rage against the death of the parasite.Main Page

Quill.gif Selected image

Edit

A modern day poet.


Quill.gif Quotes

Edit

"There once was a brainy baboon, who always breathed down a bassoon, for he said, 'It appears, that in billions of years, I shall certainly hit on a tune.'"

~ Ezra PoundMain Page
Quill.gif Things you can do

Edit

Well, writing a poem or two would surely help... Make a new poem


Too lazy? Search for someone else's work:

Quill.gif Selected article

Edit

PurpleBook.png

Purple Prose is an overly descriptive form of writing commonly used by amateur authors, fan-fiction writers, owners of thesauruses, and H.P Lovecraft. Unlike other elaborate prose, Purple prose is so extravagantly exuberant that it utterly destroys any trace of coherence and floods the writing with enough pretentiousness to simultaneously cream the pants of a hundred aristocrats. The "writing" technique is mostly used to pad out the length of literary works, and/or to mislead readers into believing the work has any sort of quality; the few people who do use Purple Prose as a genuine means of writing are, to quote the minds of most readers of Purple Prose, "babbling nincompoops". Many experts, such as the esteemed professor of English Robert A. Ferret, believe that Purple Prose is the literary form of Gobbledygook, but this comparison is unwarranted: while Gobbledygook simply muddles the English language, confusing most readers, Purple Prose assaults the English language, forcibly removing all that is good in it, until it's changed to a strange, hideous form that allows "life fluid" and "blood" to be synonyms.

Quill.gif Selected biography

Edit

Victoria2.jpg

Rudyard "Bombay Baby" Kipling wrote a number of bestselling books, prizewinning poems, and front-page Uncyclopedia articles during his long professional life. Born in India in 1865, he detonated on Guy Fawkes Day, 1936, in a dustbin outside Salisbury Cathedral in Truro, Cornwall.

In 1888 Kipling published Plain Tales from the Hills, a collection of vignettes and comic sketches he had performed at various venues all across India. His style captivated the common reader and the gentry too. The reviews were smashing. Queen Victoria said, "We own three copies of Mr. Kipling's work: one for putting Gladstone to sleep, one to read in the loo, and one to throw at the cat."

Mark Twain wrote, "Out in California everyone knows Kipling. We boil up a few of his stories for every meal and serve 'em with gravy."

Quill.gif Did you know?

Edit

  • Only 76.2% of all poets, living or dead, are gay.
16.7% are bisexual, 5.4% are in denial about it, and 1.7% are asexual. The remainder are, in fact, straight.
  • Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem She Came & Went is about a dead baby.
His daughter, but a dead baby none-the-less.
Charles Dickens is the one who looks like Tim Burton.
  • A "huckleberry finn" is a type of berry bush native only to Missouri.
  • Geoffrey Chaucer was born on Retrocession Day (Taiwan).
  • Don't Say Goodbye by Edmund Spenser is the longest haiku ever written, at a whopping total of four lines.
  • that using Rhymezone .com is a brilliant way to murder all the best rappers alive lyrically.


Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.