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Wednesday, June 3, 2020, 02:21 (UTC)
California officials declare Elon Musk's ego essential
UnNews:California officials declare Elon Musk's ego essential
Officials of Alameda County, California have determined that Tesla Fuhrer Elon Musk can continue operations at his Fremont, California labor camp.

Your cat's gonna kill you
UnNews:Your cat's gonna kill you
According to new research, your cat is secretly plotting to kill you. Have you ever wondered what they do when they go outside or nap all day? Or poop on the carpet because they refused to go in the litter box?
Yang "a coronavirus carrier," says Trump
UnNews:Yang "a coronavirus carrier," says Trump
Impeached President Donald Trump claims that former Democratic hopeful Andrew Yang, who dropped out of the race shortly before Tuesday's New Hampshire primary, is infected with the coronavirus, the latest trendy fad disease that no one will remember in five years.

The Who unveils plan to lower insulin prices
UnNews:The Who unveils plan to lower insulin prices
No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, quite like The Who. The legendary rock band is well aware that insulin is too expensive, and you'd have to be some rich pompous ass to afford it nowadays. But Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend have a plan to lower the cost.
Trump declares COVID-19 a terrorist organization
UnNews:Trump declares COVID-19 a terrorist organization
According to the President's remarks today, the terrorist organization is operating many cells around the world to spread its ideology of death and is using biological weapons against the United States.


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Your horoscope for today: You sign up for a charity masturbatathon, with your friends sponsoring you per wank. Twelve orgasms in, you are completely spent, but it's the thought of those poor starving Africans' faces that gets you through to the baker's dozen.



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UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.

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