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Sunday, May 26, 2019, 00:55 (UTC)
Mr ratburn is GAY
UnNews:Mr ratburn is GAY
Mr ratburn is gay. he is the worst arthur character ever EVER he suxs. He just married a guy!!!! they asoomed he was marying this hagy naging bich but insteed he was going to mary another man. i don't even know who this character is because i didnt read some gay book.

Obama Buys Pornhub
UnNews:Obama Buys Pornhub
On May 10th, the Canadian porn website PornHub announced that they are up for sale and 30 minutes later announced that they were being purchased. Former U.S. President Barack Obama announced that he had purchased the website the next day. When asked about his purchase he told press the following "I purchased PornHub because Michelle hasn't had sex with me in a while and I'm leaking our sextapes until she decides she wants to have sex again." Two of the alleged videos have been published each ranging 30 to 40 seconds.
Simpsons bans Michael Jackson episode
UnNews:Simpsons bans Michael Jackson episode
In light of the recent HBO documentary, Leaving Neverland, James L. Brooks, producer of The Simpsons, has announced that he and the rest of the show's creative team have essentially banned the long-running animated sitcom's beloved 1991 episode "Stark Raving Dad" (Season 3, episode 1), which guest-starred Michael Jackson as a mental patient who thinks he's Michael Jackson. This much-fabled episode was quite meta, as Jackson's involvement was kept secret, but widely speculated both on- and off-screen. He was credited as John Jay Smith and provided only the speaking voice for his character, Leon Kompowsky, while Jackson soundalike and Steve Vai/Daniel Day-Lewis lookalike Kip Lennon handled singing duties. The HBO documentary features James Safechuck and dancer/choreographer Wade Robson as they accuse Jackson of sexual abuse.

North Korea to separate onto their own island
UnNews:North Korea to separate onto their own island
NORTH KOREA - The People's Republic of North Korea has recently voted in a completely fair and balanced election to separate their land mass from South Korea to form their own island, citing the needs to control North Korea's destiny for years to come. This comes a few days after South Korea stated that they were not going to tolerate North Korea anymore, with South Korea allegedly planning to invade North Korea and purge it of all "corruption and propaganda," according to UnNews sources. The vote, which has 100% of North Koreans supporting the move, ignited controversy due to the strict rules set by their government. According to various sources, North Koreans were required to make "5 contributions" to North Korean general Kim Jong-un in the form of moves showing "extreme loyalty", which was left undescribed. In addition, they had to do it between January 5th, 2018 and February 26th, 2019 in order for them to be eligible to vote.
Jenkem approved by FDA for treating depression
UnNews:Jenkem approved by FDA for treating depression
In an explosive decision today, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved the experimental psychoactive drug jenkem for treating clinical depression. The approval comes after years of studies showing the drug's efficacy and has opened the backdoor for the medicinal use of jenkem, which was up until today only obtainable through the brown market.

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UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.

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