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California officials declare Elon Musk's ego essential Officials of Alameda County, California have determined that Tesla Fuhrer Elon Musk can continue operations at his Fremont, California labor camp. Read more... Your cat's gonna kill you According to new research, your cat is secretly plotting to kill you. Have you ever wondered what they do when they go outside or nap all day? Or poop on the carpet because they refused to go in the litter box? Read more... Yang "a coronavirus carrier," says Trump Impeached President Donald Trump claims that former Democratic hopeful Andrew Yang, who dropped out of the race shortly before Tuesday's New Hampshire primary, is infected with the coronavirus, the latest trendy fad disease that no one will remember in five years. Read more... The Who unveils plan to lower insulin prices No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, quite like The Who. The legendary rock band is well aware that insulin is too expensive, and you'd have to be some rich pompous ass to afford it nowadays. But Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend have a plan to lower the cost. Read more... Trump declares COVID-19 a terrorist organization According to the President's remarks today, the terrorist organization is operating many cells around the world to spread its ideology of death and is using biological weapons against the United States. Read more...		Latest news Pink Floyd killed by coronavirus JOHN OLIVER STARES DEEP INTO YOUR SOUL California officials declare Elon Musk's ego essential Trump declares COVID-19 a terrorist organization Scandal among the faithful as Jesus nearly bores worshippers to death Baggins' weather reporting causes friction among former colleagues Your cat's gonna kill you UnNews Quarantine Guide 2020 Libertarian celebrities sing "Imagine No Taxes" Hasbro sued over tweet about Powerpuff Girls, The Loud House Heaven under coronavirus quarantine If Joe Biden isn't a creep, then he isn't a creep! Bernie endorses Biden, who is seen clawing at air and drooling after instinctively sensing pussy Queen's Coronavirus address in full "Starve the Beast", Trump says The UN announces a 'dramatic deacrease' in censorship worldwide Britney Spears is a fucking Commie U.S. warns Gerard Depardieu: Stay out of our elections Tips to avoid the coronavirus K-pop supports BTS » Older news
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Write an article! Simply enter the headline in the box below and click the button to create your own UnNews article! Guide to UnNews	Headlines Add Click a headline to make a story! Trump endorses Biden Satanic heavy metal drummer becomes born-again Christian Dennis Rodman's son found out about Vegas Vacation while browsing Netflix Trump vows to stop funding upcoming Who album, says band is pro-China Hollywood vows to make quarantined movie experience more authentic	Horoscopes See all Your horoscope for today: You sign up for a charity masturbatathon, with your friends sponsoring you per wank. Twelve orgasms in, you are completely spent, but it's the thought of those poor starving Africans' faces that gets you through to the baker's dozen. Refresh
About UnNews An Uncyclomedia project UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.	This day in news... 3 June 2017: Nickelback releases first computer-generated album in history 3 June 2013: Surf City Europe 3 June 2012: Spain posing a late entry into the Eurozone financial crisis 3 June 2011: U.S. gives foreign aid to countries holding billions in treasury securities 3 June 2010: Fluffer allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel dildo 3 June 2009: Movie Maven notices that Kate Winslet is a whore 3 June 2008: Child baffled by theft of own nose 3 June 2007: Supreme Court justice redesigns robe 3 June 2006: Liverpool named "least bling" by King Michael	Stories with Audio Tips to avoid the coronavirus North Korea to separate onto their own island Something might happen tomorrow UnNews remembers Burt Reynolds Halloween (2018) soundtrack arriving in October Madonna turns 60 » More | Podcast
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