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Monday, January 18, 2021, 13:11 (UTC)
January 6, 2021
UnNews:January 6, 2021
I've tried to avoid writing these types of UnNews stories, as they are serious and not intended to be stuffed with fart jokes, dick jokes, bad puns that would make Mr. Freeze shiver in embarrassment, or basically anything that Webster (or even TV's Webster, Emmanuel Lewis) would define as being "funny." But the events, the insurrection, that transpired on January 6, 2021 went so far beyond... that UnNews had to cover the story. With as few jokes as possible. On the morning of Wednesday, January 6, 2021, a mob of Trump supporters stormed the U.S. Capitol Building in Washington, D.C., causing a massive riot and demanding that Congress and Mike Pence overturn the 2020 election, in which Joe Biden obliterated Donald Trump in a referendum on Trumpism and "a Battle for the Soul of This Nation™." Five people are dead, including a police officer. Trump clearly incited this riot, and he's paying the price. His staff is resigning like horny teenagers in a Friday the 13th movie. He's been threatened with the 25th Amendment, impeachment or resignation. He will obviously face serious criminal charges. And, oh no, his precious Twitter account -- that gave the world Covfefe, hamberders, muderers, FAKE NEWS, stable genius, and LIBERATE MICHIGAN -- is gone.

2020 refuses to concede, vows to continue one more year
UnNews:2020 refuses to concede, vows to continue one more year
TIMES SQUARE, New York City -- Baby New Year Two Thousand Twenty Anno Domini (or 2020, for short) is refusing to pass the torch to his successor, 2021, when the ball drops at midnight Eastern Standard Time tonight. Since November, he has refused to accept defeat, going to ridiculous (and illegal) measures in a vain attempt to cling onto his power... only to be defeated yet again, even as far as the United States Supreme Court And now, 2020 is vowing to remain in office for "at least" one more year, "maybe four." As the saying goes: Hindsight is 2020.
Glee responsible for 2020
UnNews:Glee responsible for 2020
For six seasons but no movie, the musical series Glee aired on Fox about a high school glee club and their piddly teenage problems. The show gained critical acclaim in the first season, and then the other seasons happened. While the show was always a little up its own ass, it seems that its bloated sense of self-importance was justified. Scholars from the Center for Television Prophecies, a think tank that studies television for uncanny predictions about the real world, only to have their findings ripped off by Buzzfeed, have read the teevee leaves and made the startling discovery that Glee is the root cause for all of our problems right now. As the saying goes: Hindsight is 2020.

Trump sues Coronavirus for infection fraud
UnNews:Trump sues Coronavirus for infection fraud
WASHINGTON, US -- Our Dear Leader, the Sun of American Capitalism and Idiocy, Generalissimo Donald Trump, has launched a legal battle against coronavirus for infection fraud.

He accused coronavirus, meant to be 'fair and impartial' in infection, of unfairly infecting and killing more anti-maskers

like him than sensible social-distancing citizens. He claims that these infections are 'invalid' and should not be counted in the case totals. Frothing at the mouth with anger (or is it rabies?), Trump screamed to his supporters: 'Coronavirus tried to assassinate me in October! Assassination!' before wandering off to discuss how Vegemite sucks. According to Trump, this happened in 51 out of 50 states of the USA.
Uncyclopedia updates the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World list
UnNews:Uncyclopedia updates the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World list
SIDON, LEBANON -- Following the unveiling of Rolling Stone's updated 500 Greatest Albums of All Time list, Uncyclopedia has decided to abuse the UnNews platform to publish its own updated list. The list we're talking about is no less than the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, composed by a Greek poet called Antipater of Sidon, 2,160 years ago. The new & updated list omits all of the original entries, as the word ancient has a new meaning now, with the burst of COVID-19. A garden in Babylon hanging upside down, or a lighthouse in Alexandria are not so exciting anymore; nowadays, human kind is longing for stuff like a Weezer concert or a chance to watch the new Gal Gadot rollercoaster on the big screen. And if you read the original poem which inspired the original list, you could clearly see it also implies to current-day Wonder Woman.

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UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.

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