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Friday, December 14, 2018, 07:38 (UTC)
Enough is enough
UnNews:Enough is enough
WASHINGTON -- I can't keep up anymore. It's one scandal, indictment, conspiracy, lie, and plea deal after another. And by remaining silent, you'll never know our opinions on any of these matters. And by remaining silent, one might seem consenting, or worse, complicit.

I see all this Trump news and it makes me sick. Michael Cohen has flipped on Trump, pinning him for a felony campaign finance violation, and will now serve 36 months (three solid years) in prison. Trump's inaugural spending committee is under criminal investigation. Michael Flynn is staying out of jail scot-free (or is that Scott Free?). He must have sung like a canary to get that kind of plea deal.

An unnamed seven-year-old girl who crossed the border with her father and was sent to Trump's Concentration camps is now dead from dehydration, exhaustion and septic shock. Trump is very much liable in this horrific tragedy.

Whirlpool Galaxy files restraining order against Neil deGrasse Tyson
UnNews:Whirlpool Galaxy files restraining order against Neil deGrasse Tyson
The Whirlpool Galaxy (Messier 51a), a gravitationally bound system of billions of stars located approximately 15-35 million light-years from Earth, has filed a restraining order against Neil deGrasse Tyson. Tyson, an astrophysicist and science educator, has been embroiled in controversy following several accusations of sexual misconduct, including an alleged rape that occurred during the 80's, a decade dedicated almost exclusively to rape. Messier 51a had already filed a criminal complaint against Tyson due to what the spiral galaxy described as "years of repeated, unwanted surveillance" and "telescoping stalking."
Republicans spite liberals with festive stimulus package
UnNews:Republicans spite liberals with festive stimulus package
With an incoming Democratic-lead House next month, the Trump Administration and the Republican Party have embraced the season of peace and harmony by proposing a festive two part economic stimulus initiative that will tackle progressive concerns such as climate change and homelessness, all the while growing the economy. However, critics have called this stimulus package less of a gift of goodwill and more of a white elephant gift exchange ultimately designed to "trigger the libs" by spiting them with their own causes.

Jeff Bezos caught stuffing weird old fat dude into trunk of his car
UnNews:Jeff Bezos caught stuffing weird old fat dude into trunk of his car
Jeff Bezos, CEO of internet retail giant Amazon, was caught by surveillance footage stuffing an old man in a red coat inside the trunk of his car on Monday, around 7:40 AM EST. Footage of the incident (which occurred just outside the site of the soon to be built Amazon HQ2 in Long Island City) shows Bezos subduing and hogtying the oddly dressed bearded fellow, before driving to Queensbridge Park and dumping the man's body into the East River.
Santa Claus now "probably about a four" on the Kinsey scale
UnNews:Santa Claus now "probably about a four" on the Kinsey scale
It is official: That jolly gift-giver is now more than one kind of gay. At least according to a tweet posted from his Twitter account:


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