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Monday, September 1, 2014, 11:15 (UTC)
Lucy movie affects viewers' brains
Lucy, the new Hollywood blockbuster about Scarlett Johansson being the cleverest women in the world, is actually making anyone who sees it considerably less intelligent, reports suggest. The movie, which is based on the fallacy that humans use only 10% of their brains, is so stupid that movie-goers have been admitted to various institutions with impoverished neurological functions.

Debate on Middle East fruitless as conflict itself
A debate between friends on the current conflict in the Middle East could prove as fruitless as the conflict itself, experts have warned.
Entrepreneur brings meth truck to college campuses
Brody Garner, a 50-year-old entrepreneur, has hit upon a controversial yet lucrative idea - bringing a mobile meth truck to America's college campuses.

25-year-old 'cannot download any more apps'
Twenty-five-year-old intern Greg Riley has told UnNews he has "app fatigue" and can no longer download applications for his telephone or tablet.
Ebola contained by Doctors With Borders
The spread of Ebola is blocked, according to an international common-sense think tank called Doctors With Borders.

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  • Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22) - You have spent so long scouring the internet for gorgeous World Cup football babes, that you are now unable to climax unless a woman has a face painted with the colours of a national flag.
  • Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) - Your friends are aghast when you tell them you spend the entire working day spilling seed here, there and everywhere, until you explain that you are a farmer.

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UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.

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