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Keeping the Randolph Hearst tradition alive
Saturday, November 1, 2014, 09:29 (UTC)
Bat Boy a victim of testicle molester
UnNews:Bat Boy a victim of testicle molester
World-famous half-bat, half-child Bat Boy was molested by a still at-large and increasingly infamous testicle molester.

Canada holds Parliament open doors day for Halloween
As threats of terrorism continue to rise worldwide, the government of the Banana Republic of Canada decided to conduct a Halloween special, letting folks from all over the land get in the most important and most corrupted building in the nation, the Parliament.
NFL star apologizes for celebration
San Diego Chargers wide receiver Qua'Lifriaqui'Sha'Niquia Jackson has apologized for performing "an inappropriate celebration" after scoring a touchdown. The 24-year-old caught a 16-yard pass from quarterback Timothy Whiteman, and shocked fans by simply smiling and handing the ball to the nearest official.

My guitar solo isn't fresh enough
I am the lead guitarist, and since I play naked, all attention will be focused on me. Ya know? So, like, my guitar solo has to be fresh as possible. Nothing less. Nothing more. The stakes can't get any higher. *Guitar lick, technical*
Renee Zellweger unrecognisable
Onlookers were stunned by the Bridget Jones star's dramatic transformation. Gone were her petite, mousey features and sandy blonde hair. Rennee's new look involves a closely shaven head, and a notably more urban dress style.


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Horoscopes See all

  • Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 22) - For your birthday, your parents are going to get you some aftershave, your sister is getting you a set of bubble bath and body scrubs, and your colleagues have clubbed together to get you a shower gel/deodorant value pack. Are we noticing a pattern yet?
  • Sagittarius (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21)- If you want your girlfriend to stop smoking, try slowing down and using more lubricant.

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UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.

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