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Monday, August 6, 2018, 10:50 (UTC)
Japanese Ansaikuropedia is now forked to fight for liberty‎‎
UnNews:Japanese Ansaikuropedia is now forked to fight for liberty‎‎
Tokyo, Japan--All of a sudden, there's this new hope rising from the Far East. The Imperial Ansaikuropedia, notorious for using Death Star to Ban those who are against Darth Admins for years, is now losing its power, because a fork was created on Miraheze...

Mrs. Garrett (TV's The Facts of Life) dies
UnNews:Mrs. Garrett (TV's The Facts of Life) dies
HOLLYWOOD -- Charlotte Rae, best known for her long-running role as Mrs. Garrett on TV's The Facts of Life, has died. She was 92. The sitcom, which she left in 1986 (being replaced by Cloris Leachman and George Clooney, no less!), centered around Mrs. Garrett being the caretaker and mother figure at an all-girls boarding school. Molly Ringwald appeared in the first season, but the show is best known for the cast established in season 2 -- including Blair (Lisa Whelchel), Natalie (Mindy Cohn), Tootie (Kim Fields), and new edition, tough girl Jo (Nancy McKeon).
Lordy, there are tapes!
UnNews:Lordy, there are tapes!
It's official: There are tapes! There's all kinds of tapes. There's Scotch tape, packing tape, masking tape, and tape worms. But you're probably more interested in VHS tapes, cassette tapes, 8-track tapes, or those fancy, super high-resolution reel-to-reel master tapes. Pure analog bliss. The original master tapes, being analog, should sound just as good as (or better than) vinyl, but it's so damn expensive. This is what the pros use in the studio, if they're serious audiophiles like Neil Young and Jack White.

Trump would/wouldn't flip changes US history
UnNews:Trump would/wouldn't flip changes US history
Four days after President Donald Trump explained away his claims that Russia was likely innocent of meddling in the 2016 election by claiming a negative was missing from the sentence, other US presidents are following suit. Trumps initial exoneration, "I don't see any reason why it would be [Russia]", drew much criticism from both Republicans and Democrats, leading to his eye-raising suggestion that the word "not" was missing from the sentence, is all. However, the strategy found supporters among former US presidents, who took the opportunity to address some of their historical mishaps.
Chevy Chase, Maryland, to change name to Bill Murray
UnNews:Chevy Chase, Maryland, to change name to Bill Murray
CHEVY CHASE, Maryland -- The city of Chevy Chase (no relation to legendary comedian Cornelius Crane "Chevy" Chase) voted 270-138 Tuesday to change their name to Chase's longtime rival, Bill Murray.

City mayor Barney "Not the Dinosaur" Rush "Not the Band" commented Thursday on the unusual decision to change their name.

"Mr. Chase was great in SNL, Caddyshack, Fletch, and two of the four Vacation movies. But after a while, he made a few duds like John Carpenter's Memoirs of an Invisible Man, Man of the House, Cops & Robbersons, Vegas Vacation, and dare I mention that horrible talk show [1993's The Chevy Chase Show]. Simply put, he's past his prime and we, the city of Chevy Chase, are embarrassed to bear his name. Murray, on the other hand, is still a relevant and popular working actor. He's gone from Ghostbusters, Groundhog Day, Larger Than Life, and Space Jam… to higher brow affair such as Lost in Translation, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Aquatic Life of Something or Another, and let's not forget his cameo in Zombieland. Mr. Chase, you need to step it up a little! You're almost as forgotten as Rick Moranis!"


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Your horoscope for today: Your name hasn’t gone down in history, as you would have liked, but it is now on several sex offenders’ registers. <option>When your partner asks you what you want for your birthday, try hard not to say “Permission to sleep with a busty black stripper”.


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