UnNews is shocked and saddened to learn that legendary pop music icon Prince died Thursday. He was 57 and had reportedly stayed awake for 154 straight hours. The artist once again known as Prince was found unconscious in an elevator, and paramedics were unable to revive him.
What can be said about The Purple One that hasn't already been said?
UnNews has been so buried in news this year that we barely have time to write about it anymore. Plus, my DVR has been extremely busy, and I've also been busy with chores and other wastes of time that I would never willingly do. So here's a little recap of events we may or may not have covered yet during the first quarter of 2016 (with some spillover).
A Game of Thrones fan enthusiastically watched last night's season six opener, but was barely able to remember any of the characters' names as she attempted to tell UnNews what had happened. Joanna Corey told us: "Well Jon Snow I definitely know. He seems to be dead still. Those other guys, you know the nice beardy one who got sent away by... by Stannis, he came back and found Jon, and then it was like, is he going to fight the Black Watch..."
Oxford English Dictionary, one of the most reputable English dictionaries in the world, has opened a poll on its website stating that they are looking to replace the word "mouthgasm" with any option that "sounds better".
UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.