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What The Onion would be like if it was free
Thursday, January 29, 2015, 14:21 (UTC)
The shows to watch in 2015
Welcome to 2015! The 21st century has already brought you Joey, Shit My Dad Says and Jersey Shore. With such a golden age of television upon up, UnNews gives you a detailed list of incredible shows to look forward to this year.

Porn addict can't stop saying 'anal'
Like many kids his age, Daniel Ferguson has been exposed to pornography for years, but Daniel is different: such is his addiction that the fourteen-year-old can no longer say anything but "anal".
Stuff in my room
Stuff in my room. Is that what you guys want to read about? I'd think you'd be more interested in ghosts on Mars, or green onions, or what the Queen eats for midnight snack (worms...it's true!).

Saudi Arabia shoots self in foot with lower sand prices
The impact of plunging artificial beach prices, along with the decision not to cut sand exports, is putting pressure on the country’s finances, which will inevitably lead to drastic cuts for all non-royal العوام, and this unwanted austerity could most likely spawn a wahhabi backlash from the rank and file Mutaween.
Star Wars character names revealed
The names of characters played by Oscar Isaac, Daisy Ridley and John Boyega, in Star Wars: The Force Awakens have been revealed in a set of trading cards, with director JJ Adams subsequently being accused of racism.

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  • Sagittarius (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21)- You are arrested on Monday. The police say that is the most DNA they have ever seen left at a crime scene.
  • Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) - Unlike most men, you don't objectify women. But you do feminise objects, which is probably worse.

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UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.

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