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Wednesday, October 22, 2014, 03:09 (UTC)
Wrestlemania 87 commentary LIVE!
*Most hardcore theme song ever resonates in a jammed-packed arena full of noisy hillbilly drunkards, and two overly excited commentators begin their thing*
Jim Ross: Welcome to Wrestlemania 87 ladies and gentlemen!! What an amazing main event we have for you tonight, a No-Holds-Barred, No Ice Cream, No Machinegun match between the Croc and Phone Cord Steve Austin for the Undisputed WWE title.

Local grandfather won't just accept alien overlords
Thomas Garrel, a local man with memories from before The Age of Human Suffering and Sadness, is annoying his family with tales of how life was like before our alien overlords took control of the planet, enslaving all life to do their bidding, and changing the course of human history.
Finland bans the use of the w-word
Alcohol laws are mysterious in their ways, and this is no exception in Finland where mentioning whisky publicly is apparentally illegal now. Things got more weirder then; whiskey-lovers of Finland (all 6 of them) were simply outraged when the word "whisky" was dropped from the fairs' title.

Revealed: why Hitler started breaking bad
For years historians have argued why mild-mannered cheese-monger Adolf Hitler suddenly turned into the 20th-century's most notorious dictator, and now we know why.
Hot teachers 'will not' screw students in future
Tiffany Beecham, president of the Association of Super Hot American Teachers (ASHAT) has announced that her members will be abstaining from sex with students, effective tomorrow.

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  • Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22) - After years of unprotected sex, you finally go for an HIV test, and it turns out you don't have a magic Johnson.
  • Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 22) - Your friend was lying to you when he said that "There must be 50 ways to leave your lover" includes the lyric "Have homosexual sex, Rex", but anyway, it's all experience.

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UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.

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