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Tuesday, November 21, 2017, 19:33 (UTC)
We Salute Malcolm Young
UnNews:We Salute Malcolm Young
If Saturday, November 18, 2017, weren't a shitty enough day for me (don't ask), we at UnNews learned that Malcolm Young, legendary founding rhythm guitarist for AC/DC, has died. He had been forced to retire in 2014 due to early-onset dementia. The news of his death is devastating, especially to me. Everyone here at UnNews is a huge fan of AC/DC. You have to be, or else you're fired. While Angus gets all the credit, it's Malcolm who created those iconic riffs. Back in Black. TNT. Highway to Hell. For Those About to Rock. Whole Lotta Rosie. Dirty Deeds. Thunderstruck. The list goes on and on. Malcolm was the boss and what he said went. He was the band's spokesman and chief architect. He is as much AC/DC as Angus, Bon and Brian. As much AC/DC as Cliff Williams and Phil Rudd.

We Salute Malcolm Young
UnNews:We Salute Malcolm Young
Editor's note: From UnNews/UnTunes:The ridiculously self-indulgent, ill-advised Malcolm Young obituary, which because of it's prefix, is not officially recognized as either an UnNews nor an UnTunes.

MY HEART -- So I've just heard that Malcolm Young, one of the founders of AC/DC, has passed away, by looking at Dave Mustaine's and Dave Grohl's Instagrams. And after reading Dave Grohl's amazing obituary, I've decided to write one of my own. The title of this obituary is a parody of "Weird Al" Yankovic's upcoming tour, where he will sing nothing but original songs, hopefully including his AC/DC/Mötley Crüe tribute/parody "Young, Dumb & Ugly".

The only AC/DC album I've ever owned is Stiff Upper Lip. I used this album to make my first contact with heavy metal, probably because the song "Highway to Hell" seemed too scary/hellish for me at the time. [Editor's note: Sorry to butt in, but "Highway to Hell" refers to the arduous task of touring and going out on the road endlessly, hence a "highway to hell." It has nothing to do with Satanism.] As I recall, I thought it was the best album ever for a really long time. It was just pure fun and the song "Stiff Upper Lip" was the sexiest thing in the world to me. I still regret that I've never heard the album Highway to Hell and went on to more sophisticated metal bands. These days it is common knowledge that the true sophistication is simplicity. So I have decided to honor Malcolm with a song from another Australian band, which is probably the most un-AC/DC band on Earth - Alchemist. This band sings in a language of their own which is called AustralAlien and is only comprehensible to David Lynch, so there might be some disagreement between the lyrics and the singing - pay no attention to it. RIP Malcolm and may AC/DC live even after electricity!
BREAKING: Charles Manson finally dies
UnNews:BREAKING: Charles Manson finally dies
Last updated: November 19, 2017 @ 10:59 p.m. MST

California -- Looks like serial killer-by-proxy and cult leader Charles Manson has finally gotten parole... sort of. The dried-up old bastard finally kicked the bucket Sunday at 8:15 p.m. PST -- after having been hospitalized for a week due to an undisclosed illness.

According to TMZ, Sharon Tate's sister, Debra Tate, received a phone call from Corcoran State Prison informing her of Manson's death. I guess this makes it official. The old cocksucker's finally dead.

Stay tuned to UnNews for more updates on this breaking story.

Trump Jr. coordinated with WikiLeaks
UnNews:Trump Jr. coordinated with WikiLeaks
WASHINGTON -- WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, whom we already knew was in bed with Russia during the election, actively courted the Donald Trump campaign, particular Donald Trump Jr. The so-called President's* son appears to have coordinated with requests made by the infamous leakers.

This latest bombshell comes to us from the Associated Press via South China Morning News, where's it's already November 14th. The Atlantic was the first to break the story.

Assange initiated the conversations. The grey dialogue balloons indicate Trump Jr.'s responses. Read the damning evidence below. (Credit: Twitter)
Abraham Lincoln latest celebrity accused in sexual harrassment witch hunt
HOLLYWEIRD -- Harvey Weinstein has opened up a Pandora's box -- not to mention a witch hunt -- in which everyone from Ben Affleck to Kevin Spacey to former President Bush 41 has been accused of some kind of sexual misconduct. If Roy Moore and Louis CK weren't enough, a woman claims Abraham Lincoln "four scored" her seven years ago. The woman, 27, who has not been named (and wasn't even alive when Lincoln was shot by renowned stage actor John Wilkes Booth on April 14, 1865 and died the next day) claims that our 16th President came up to her at a party (at 20, she was underage anyway) and pinned her to the wall. He then unzipped his "pantaloons" and whipped out his "John Wilkes Booth."
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