From the UnNews editorial board: Fuck it. This is no time to be funny. But I just got tagged [Friday - Ed.] with an ICU. "Where the jokes?" You want JOKES, I'll give you a joke: DONALD TRUMP IS PRESIDENT. He's DESTROYING AMERICA and turning his "presidency" into an AUTHORITARIAN DICTATORSHIP. He is DESTOROYING DEMOCRACY! Why does every UnNews article have to be funny, especially when a tragedy like this occurs? If you want a comedic spin on a news story too serious to make light of, just watch The Daily Show
, South Park
, or Fox News
. Or better yet, avoid Faux News
like the Plague
that Trump is inflicting upon America. Remember when SNL returned after 9/11
? Not a single joke in the cold open. Nor in the cold open of the post-election episode after Hillary Clinton
lost. Even comedy can be deadly serious.
With yesterday's [Tuesday's - Ed.] firing of James Comey, who was leading the "witch hunt" "fake news" probe into the Russiagate scandal, We the People of the
Divided United against Trump States need a special prosecutor and an independent, nonpartisan investigation, now more than ever.
In a scandal and cover-up that echoes the Watergate scandal that brought down Richard Nixon, His Royal pain in the ass Highness Donald Trump has does everything in his ill-gotten power to obstruct justice and prevent the truth from getting out in regards to his deep, deep ties to Russia and its President, Vladimir Putin. He has distracted us from it, lied about it, called it "fake news," fired anyone who has gotten in his way (Acting Attorney General Sally Yates and now, FBI Director Comey), fired members of his own incompetent staff whose ties have been found out (Michael Flynn, Carter Page), and gone on Twitter rampages that rival those of Kanye West, Trumptards, and easily offended "PC butthurt liberal snowflakes" freaking out over some inoffensive shit such as that Pepsi commercial everyone's bitching about.
Partisanship (especially among the coldblooded reptilian bastard Republican
majority) has compromised the House
probes into this ever-escalating scandal, with no impartiality in sight. Therefore, it is imperative that the Department of Justice hire a special, independent, nonpartisan, impartial prosecutor to conduct an unbiased investigation into Russiagate and its cover-up. "What did the President know, and when did he know it?" Sound familiar? Of course not. Nobody remembers a major political scandal from 45 years ago!