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Cited in over 120 academic papers
Wednesday, October 1, 2014, 14:14 (UTC)
Obama to outline IS strategy after consulting Stonehenge gods
President Barack Obama will lay out a strategy this week to “go on offence” against Islamic State (IS/ISIS) after conducting a blood-soaked pagan ceremony at Stonehenge in the United Kingdom.

Biden: We will pursue ISIS through Heaven’s Gate
“The United States will not be flummoxed by rogues, formally engaged in harassing Assad in Syria, who are now the supposed killers of two American journalists,” President Obama said Wednesday.
Ravens: It's worse when you see it
The Baltimore Ravens have terminated Ray Rice's contract after video emerged of the running back knocking his then fiancée unconscious, admitting "It's worse when you see it".

Nude photos of celebrities leaked
Today numerous photos of celebrities including Kate Upton, Victoria Justice, Ariana Grande, Hope Solo, Brad Pitt and most notably Jennifer Lawrence were leaked onto Twitter.
Everyone who hates ice bucket challenge donating money to charity
Everyone online who complains about the ice bucket challenge immediately logs on to an ALS charity site and donates lots of money, experts have claimed.

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  • Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22) - Riding up the escalator tomorrow might seem the perfect moment to dispose of a fart: the movement away from the scene of the crime, the background noise, etc. However, remember a cursory glance behind you to check the coast is clear is not enough: there might be a small child whose face is directly in line with your anus when you break wind.
  • Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 22) - It's really hard to find that one special person. Especially when you insist on poop play.

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