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Poetry is an art form in which language is used for its obfuscatory qualities in addition to, or instead of, meaningful and useful content. Poetry has a long history, and early attempts to define poetry, such as Aristotle's Poetics, focused on the various uses of speech in rhetoric, drama, song and charming the togas off of potential bed buddies. Contemporary poets, such as Dylan Thomas, often identify poetry not as a literary genre within a set of genres, but as noble way of remaining unemployed and virtually useless to society. Poetry often uses condensed forms and conventions to reinforce or expand the meaning of the underlying words or to invoke irrational or sensual experiences in the reader, as well as using devices such as assonance, alliteration and the rhythm method to achieve musical or incendiary effects.

Recent Poems:

FYIWake The FUCK Up, You Brainwashed Peasantsthe kids these daysI went to TargetSubverted RhymeBlazer PinMy First Address To The Common ManThis un's got a long title.UnwantedCold LoveSuicideI Love the Smell of GasolineA Visit from SatanbearLove Letter from a Strange Boyfriend: A SonnetUnder the TableThe Judgement DayTen Little Porn $tarsFuck you GodI am the CalculatorHow crude!Ode To McDonald'sSong of the sea piratesWhen You Drive a ToyotaHobbits Are Not GayOde to Codeine's MumBirds of the HairPiPoems that don't rhymeA Barbecue to RememberInsulting Love PoemMy Face Is So FatSubliminal PoetryVanityParadise AbridgedWell-Oiled BirdsSelf-reference referenceUnicornsIn Rangoon at the stroke of noonLove Poem For The Cyber-AgeOde to GTA IVVogon Love PoemLittle BoyLittle yellow spiderCoupletSonnet About Not Having a MuseHaiku 457bThe First Draft of "Song of Myself"Nobody reads UnPoetia!The Apathy that is your FaceAbraham Lincoln's fair-weather waffle frolicA Mind-Bogglingly Accurate Definition of the Modern AgeThe Horrific Indifference of the Passage of TimeA Commie in My ClosetIsaiahYour First ComingOde To Mrs Amanda McKitterick RosShall I Compare Thee With Thy Mother, 'Ey?Divorce SongWhat is the matter with Mary Jane?Do Not Shag Gentle During That Good NightTao Te ChingDrunken Angst Directed at Girlfriend and those who care enough to cheer you upWuz da Nite Befo CrimmusAn Anthology of Baby and Midget PoetryI Hate Rappers Who Cannot RhymeSweetheartGuardianLepusE.O.C.

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Under the sheet that covers me,

White as the snow but black as night,

I beg all visitors that be,

"Close the door and turn off the light."


In the grip of ambivalence

I've often winced and cried aloud.

Asked to bestow but a few pence

I've hid within this bedding shroud.


Beyond this place of ruffled frills,

Looms the horror of work and strife

But while me mum is paying bills

I'm freed to sleep away my life.


It matters not that you berate,

Or plead with me to set some goal,

I am the master of my fate

I am the captain of my soul.Main Page
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A modern day poet.


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"I never travel without my poetry. One should always have something sensational to read in the train."

~ Oscar WildeMain Page
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Well, writing a poem or two would surely help... Make a new poem

Too lazy? Search for someone else's work:

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PurpleBook.png

Purple Prose is an overly descriptive form of writing commonly used by amateur authors, fan-fiction writers, owners of thesauruses, and H.P Lovecraft. Unlike other elaborate prose, Purple prose is so extravagantly exuberant that it utterly destroys any trace of coherence and floods the writing with enough pretentiousness to simultaneously cream the pants of a hundred aristocrats. The "writing" technique is mostly used to pad out the length of literary works, and/or to mislead readers into believing the work has any sort of quality; the few people who do use Purple Prose as a genuine means of writing are, to quote the minds of most readers of Purple Prose, "babbling nincompoops". Many experts, such as the esteemed professor of English Robert A. Ferret, believe that Purple Prose is the literary form of Gobbledygook, but this comparison is unwarranted: while Gobbledygook simply muddles the English language, confusing most readers, Purple Prose assaults the English language, forcibly removing all that is good in it, until it's changed to a strange, hideous form that allows "life fluid" and "blood" to be synonyms.

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Rudyard "Bombay Baby" Kipling wrote a number of bestselling books, prizewinning poems, and front-page Uncyclopedia articles during his long professional life. Born in India in 1865, he detonated on Guy Fawkes Day, 1936, in a dustbin outside Salisbury Cathedral in Truro, Cornwall.

In 1888 Kipling published Plain Tales from the Hills, a collection of vignettes and comic sketches he had performed at various venues all across India. His style captivated the common reader and the gentry too. The reviews were smashing. Queen Victoria said, "We own three copies of Mr. Kipling's work: one for putting Gladstone to sleep, one to read in the loo, and one to throw at the cat."

Mark Twain wrote, "Out in California everyone knows Kipling. We boil up a few of his stories for every meal and serve 'em with gravy."

Quill.gif Did you know?

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  • Only 76.2% of all poets, living or dead, are gay.
16.7% are bisexual, 5.4% are in denial about it, and 1.7% are asexual. The remainder are, in fact, straight.
  • Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem She Came & Went is about a dead baby.
His daughter, but a dead baby none-the-less.
  • At the age of 12, Charles Dickens used to work in a boot-blacking factory.
Charles Dickens is the one who looks like Tim Burton.
  • A "huckleberry finn" is a type of berry bush native only to Missouri.
  • Geoffrey Chaucer was born on Retrocession Day (Taiwan).
  • Don't Say Goodbye by Edmund Spenser is the longest haiku ever written, at a whopping total of four lines.


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