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BEIJIG, Chia — I a upleasatly surprisig move, Chiese presidet Xi Jipig has aouced that he is baig the 14th letter of the Eglish alphabet -- the oe ibetwee M ad O. Whe asked why i the livig hell ayoe would do such a asiie ad beyod uitelliget thig, Jipig gave us this statemet i respose: "This is Chia. I'm Presidet. I ca do whatever I wat ad there's othig you ca do about it. If you do't like it, the I suggest that you move your scrawy ass to Hog Kog."

This omissio to the Eglish laguage will appear odd ad uitelligible goig forward. The popular ad legedary video game system will ow be kow i Chia as Itedo. PS will ow be kow as the Playstatio, which is't as bad as I iitially imagied. Curiously, Playstatio's paret compay will ow be kow by the much healthier ame of Soy, which is ot too iroic sice Soy is a Japaese compay istead of a Chiese oe. It's eve worse for Paasoic. The Japaese aimatio gere will ow be kow as Aime, which looks like the ame Amy. (Full report...)

In the news

Putin wins 2018 election in stunning upset

Did you know

Kilroy was here.gif
  • ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured)
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
  • ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
  • ... that Earth is the best planet in the world?
  • ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?
  • ... that this in not a DYK entry?
  • ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?

On this day

Death by nut.

March 19: Peanut Allergy Awareness Day (U.S.)

Today's featured picture

MP Truman2.jpg
August 6, 1945: After being given superpowers by the Manhattan Project, Harry S. Truman, the Truman Torch, personally drops the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, Japan, signalling the beginning of the end of World War II.

Truman's flight was the culmination of the Manhattan Project, a sustained secret project by the United States military to develop superpowers in order to resurrect the American Justice Coalition. Because superhero technology was so valuable, the project was disguised as an effort to create a nuclear bomb, a deception that was so complete that the nuclear bomb was also developed. Subsequently, all American presidents have been endowed with superpowers and occasionally fight together as the New American Justice Coalition.

Image credit: Isra1337

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