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From today's featured article - Radical Republicans

This article was previously featured on 28 December 2009

The Radical Republicans were an abolitionist faction of the Republican Party from the mid 1850s to the end of Reconstruction. They were vehemently opposed to slavery, believed in a strong central government, and supported the X-Games, burger shacks, shredding, and all things totally tubular. In the senate, their leader was Thaddeus "Da Bomb Diggity" Stevens. In the House of Representatives, Charles "Wicked Bitchin'" Sumner lead the faction. Abraham Lincoln's status as a radical republican is actually somewhat debatable. Lincoln privately expressed strong anti-slavery feelings and could bust out a diesel acid soul, but he publicly was often harshly criticized by other radicals for being too slow to end slavery, and never even trying to go bio on his 540s. Still, Lincoln appointed many radicals to high cabinet positions, most notably Edward "Big Time" Stanton, Lincoln's secretary of Being Totally Gnarly, and also War.

While most know of the disputes over slavery that drove apart North and South, few acknowledge the way more bodacious conflicts of the era. Perhaps the most divisive battle was over the nation's boardwalks. The Southerners, fearing being run into by skaters of both the inline and board varieties during their boardwalking, outlawed moving while on top of wheels on all boardwalks, in the North as well as the South. Radical republicans were outraged. "This is, like, way not cool," said Salmon Chase in one of his speeches to Congress. "We're like, into boarding or inline and we wanna do that, you know, wherever." (Full article...)

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