From today's featured article
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Did you know...
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In the news
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On this day...
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December 10: Nobel Prize ceremony awards
- 2000 BC - Egypt gets flooded. Greeks keep melting ice in Aegean Sea. Egypt submits to Mayas in request for help. The great pyramids are decided to be built.
- 1868 - The first traffic lights are installed outside the Houses of Parliament in London. No prizes are awarded, however, as they won't be invented until 33 years later.
- 1901 - The Nobel Prize for Having Died is awarded to Swedish chemist and industrialist Alfred Nobel, for having died on this day in 1896.
- 1936 - The Nobel Prize for Abdicating the Throne is awarded to Edward VIII, for being the only British monarch to voluntarily relinquish the throne.
- 1945 - Nobel Prize for Killing People is controversally awarded to Joseph Stalin, sparking a split in the Nobel committee between pro-gulag and pro-holocaust members.
- 1985 - The Generic Nobel Prize is awarded to the winner for great achievements in his specific field of excellence.
- 1986 - The Nobel Prize for annoying, unimaginative and repetitive self-referential humor with an inane and stupid ending that is awarded to the Nobel Prize for annoying, unimaginative and repetitive self-referential humor with an inane and stupid ending is awarded to the Nobel prize for annoying, unimaginative and repetitive self-referential humor with an inane and stupid ending. (insert inane and stupid ending here)
- 1987 - Nobel Prize for Chemistry is swallowed by an eel. Laureate Heidelberg Wimschurst is awarded tic-tac in its place.
- 1989 - The Nobel Prize in Procrastination is put off until next year.
- 1997 - Nobel Prize for Cynicism is awarded, yet again, to some guy who only won it because he is friends with the voting elite.
- 2004 - The Nobel Prize in Procrastination will be awarded soon. Really. Just give me five seconds, okay?
- 2005 - The Nobel Prize for Predictable Conservative Humour is awarded to those wacky Demoncrats who bumble around in congress, flip-flopping away, raising taxes and spending our hard-earned money while terrorists rape and murder our children.
- 2006 - Bruce Forsyth receives the Nobel Prize for Hosting Strictly Come Dancing. In a statement, he says: Proud to receive this award, to receive this award, proud.
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Writer and Uncyclopedian of the Month, and Noob of the Moment
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I believe it was famed and renowned philosopher Nicki Minaj who once wrote that "Once in every great while, there comes a writer to this world, perhaps in the form of a novelist, perhaps a playwright, perhaps even an elephant beaten to death with a grandmother who happens to be clutching a pen in his dying moments, who really exemplifies the true nature of the prolific writer. Quality in numbers, and numbers of the utmost quality, creating visions of a better world, visions of a kinder world, visions of the Crimean War. It has been my great privilege to have met this writer, the one and only IFYMB!, whose tireless efforts have assured me that the future of hip-hop will stay crunk. He's been like a brother to me. A brother that I had sex with."
No, wait a minute. That's not right. It was definitely Christian Bale who wrote that.
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For a second straight month, nobody has won Noob of the Moment, leaving RedHot the undisputed reigning champion for another thirty days. Because nobody won this month, I'm going to tell you a little story instead of a blurb about the winner.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Peter. Peter was a remarkably ordinary person, except for the peculiar fact that he lived in a ferris wheel. This led to many zany circumstances and situations at a circus. The circus people liked him, even though the bearded lady found him a little creepy. But she should talk, bearded ladies are just creepy themselves.
Anyways, they all had a lot of fun and eventually he died, and they put a statue of him outside of the ferris wheel. I don't know where I was going with this.
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