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From today's featured article - UnNews:Local grandfather won't just accept alien overlords

link=UnNews:Local grandfather won't just accept alien overlords

Cleveland, OHIO - Thomas Garrel, a local man with memories from before The Age of Human Suffering and Sadness, is annoying his family with tales of how life was like before our alien overlords took control of the planet, enslaving all life to do their bidding, and changing the course of human history. His grandchildren are said to dread the boring Sunday lunches filled with tales of what life was like before city-wide forced labor camps, and daily 9 AM child sacrifices became the norm across the world.

"He's always like, 'When I was younger, we weren't forced to de-slime the aliens every day, and humans and animals weren't forcibly cross-bred to create terrible creatures that form the basis of our nightmares and often times go completely insane, causing excruciating deaths, and mass terror across the land,'" speaks his grandchild, Charlotte Garrel. "I mean, we get it. Things aren't like they used to be. Times change. Get over it." (Full article...)

Did you know...

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In the news

On this day...

These people are really getting into the spirit of the season.

October 31: International Dress Like an Idiot Day, International Emo Day, International Annoy Strangers into Giving Away Candy Day

  • 1517 - The Protestant Reformation begins. After spending all week on his robot costume, Martin Luther dresses up and goes to the local church but they won't give him candy. He plays a trick on them spreading his theses all over the church door.
  • 1956 - To force Egypt to reopen the Suez Canal, the United Kingdom and France begin a massive bombardment of Egypt using water balloons and raw eggs.
  • 1961 - Joseph Stalin's corpse is dressed up as Frankenstein and set outside Kruschev's house as part of a scary Halloween diorama. Communist Party members are initially outraged, but come around when Kruschev's house wins the USSR's Halloween house decoration contest.
  • 1969 - Women discover that instead of putting time into making an awesome costume they can just take a normal job uniform and slut it up a bit.
  • 2014 - The end is marked by children coming to your door and asking for treats.

Today's featured picture

Hand grenade.jpg

The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you.

Image Credit: Mosquitopsu
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Featured today a long time ago

UnBooks:Funeral of the Easter Bunny, featured on 31 October 2013. See the featured version.
UnNews:Cancer research causes cancer, featured on 31 October 2011. See the featured version.
UnBooks:My Daddy Has Two Yachts, featured on 31 October 2010. See the featured version.
Topaz, featured on 31 October 2009. See the featured version.

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