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From today's featured article

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Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday. I thought I might go down to the funeral. Me being her son and all, it was expected of me to bother going down. I'd rather smoke here on my balcony though. I felt the warm sun on my body and I ogled the hot ethnic chicks walking lazily down the Boulevard. I smoked some more and had a coffee. I rested and allowed my body to rest. I heard the man next door complain at his dog. I heard him give it a kick as well. I guess it was a good thing, the dog was disobedient.

As I walked along to the church I was confronted by the heat, the stifling heat of walking to the church. She had been staying at an old person's home after some unpleasantness living with me. I was glad she had gone then, I could 'alienate' as much as I wanted to and the flat was a better place to bring girlfriends back to and chain smoke. (Full Article...)

Did you know...

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  • ... that "crack" is the hood's most effective diet pill? (Pictured)
  • ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
  • ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man?
    • ... that withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
      • ... that the reason the government does not ban it is because of the tax money it gets from the food industry?
  • ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
  • ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book is the infamous "Tapping on a person's left shoulder when you're standing on their right"? This trick was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia.
  • ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
    • ... that bears have been known to challenge for the role of Alaska's leader?
  • ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
  • ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?

In the news

On this day...

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April 27: When Pigs Fly Day (Chile)

  • 1124 - King David the Lastnameless takes the throne of Scotland
  • 1294 - Scotland calls France a bunch of pussies. Angry grumbling ensues.
  • 1368 - The Big Bad Wolf is found guilty of vandalism and mouth robbery, and is sentenced to 30 hours of social work.
  • 1509 - Pope Julius II places the Italian state of Venice under interdict. The interdict arose from finding the state warm and moist.
  • 1520 - Magellan arrives in the Philippines. The locals invite him in for some dinner.
  • 1555 - You are born, but die of cholera by age eight. You don't remember this previous life because you were born a moron.
  • 1945 - USA and USSR meet for the first time in Germany, starting a love affair to last several decades.
  • 1949 - Texas becomes the first US State to outlaw Cheese, following the discovery of a Soviet covert cheddar ring operating in Houston.
  • 1966 - NASA scientists propose using Dusty Springfield's 11-mile tall bouffant to get to the moon.

Today's featured picture

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Children's books as they should be, without sugar-coating.

Image Credit: Bonjo Nelson
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

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