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From today's featured article
Does the Pope shit in the woods? It's a question that has puzzled philosophers, theologians, journalists, and historians for centuries. There have been many allegations made, but recently released photos and a great deal of eyewitness testimony has proven that yes, he does.
Either way he takes his relief, sitting or squatting, when the pope is in the woods and has to take a shit, he takes a shit. The question as posed asks if the pope routinely shits in the woods, and that answer to that too is Hell yes!. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ...that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (pictured)
- ...verb noun preposition article verb noun?
- ...that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ...that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
- ...that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ...that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
- ...that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
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In the news
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On this day...
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December 13: International That Guy Day, Speak with a British Accent Day (UK)
- 10000 BC - Ug Nug Fug Nug is born, the famous musician responsible for the creation of the violin and other various sexually orentated musical instruments (ie the sexualin).
- 1067 - William the Conqueror invades the previously uninvaded British Aisles.
- 1732 - The Royal Opera House opens at Covent Garden, London. Screaming bitches heard from miles around, causes widespread riots.
- 1808 - Count Henrich von Flammenweffer invents Lava as a way of preventing skiers from taking over his favourite mountains in the winter.
- 1939 - Adolf Hitler invents oral sex and asks his enemies to blow him.
- 1940 - The French blow Adolf Hitler.
- 1942 - No people born on December the 13th, due to National No-Birthdays day. Experts attribute this phenomenon as having to do with a worldwide feeling of "I don't feel like getting any ass today" in mid March.
- 1992 - Bob like pie
- 1992 - Someone actually ate my shorts.
- 2002 - Fraidai the 13th, Satan renamed Hell to "Bloody Hell"
- 2003 - Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein found hiding in a camel hole during Operation Bomb-The-Towel-Headed-Sand-Brigand, and captured.
- 2003 - SARS becomes the new iPod.
- 2005 - On the twelfth day of Christmas, My true love gave to me, A summons from the local JP...
- 2008 - Uncyclopedia was teleported into an alternate universe where this sentence did not exist. It was returned to normal just now.
- 2012 - Dyslexic people celebrate that the world didn't end with the Mayan calendar yesterday. Everyone else still nervous.
- Today - That guy realizes that this is the only one about him even though it's his day and gets really really mad.
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Today's featured picture
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August 6, 1945: After being given superpowers by the Manhattan Project, Harry S. Truman, the Truman Torch, personally drops the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, Japan, signalling the beginning of the end of World War II.
Truman's flight was the culmination of the Manhattan Project, a sustained secret project by the United States military to develop superpowers in order to resurrect the American Justice Coalition. Because superhero technology was so valuable, the project was disguised as an effort to create a nuclear bomb, a deception that was so complete that the nuclear bomb was also developed. Subsequently, all American presidents have been endowed with superpowers and occasionally fight together as the New American Justice Coalition.
Image Credit: Isra1337
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images
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Writer and Uncyclopedian of the Month, and Noob of the Moment
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I believe it was famed and renowned philosopher Nicki Minaj who once wrote that "Once in every great while, there comes a writer to this world, perhaps in the form of a novelist, perhaps a playwright, perhaps even an elephant beaten to death with a grandmother who happens to be clutching a pen in his dying moments, who really exemplifies the true nature of the prolific writer. Quality in numbers, and numbers of the utmost quality, creating visions of a better world, visions of a kinder world, visions of the Crimean War. It has been my great privilege to have met this writer, the one and only IFYMB!, whose tireless efforts have assured me that the future of hip-hop will stay crunk. He's been like a brother to me. A brother that I had sex with."
No, wait a minute. That's not right. It was definitely Christian Bale who wrote that.
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For a second straight month, nobody has won Noob of the Moment, leaving RedHot the undisputed reigning champion for another thirty days. Because nobody won this month, I'm going to tell you a little story instead of a blurb about the winner.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Peter. Peter was a remarkably ordinary person, except for the peculiar fact that he lived in a ferris wheel. This led to many zany circumstances and situations at a circus. The circus people liked him, even though the bearded lady found him a little creepy. But she should talk, bearded ladies are just creepy themselves.
Anyways, they all had a lot of fun and eventually he died, and they put a statue of him outside of the ferris wheel. I don't know where I was going with this.
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Uncyclopedia's sista projects
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Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
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Uncyclopedia Languages
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 29,294 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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