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From today's featured article - Mithraism

Mithras tauroctony Louvre Ma3441.jpg

The cult of Mithraism is a topic about which you can't believe everything you read.

Deleted comment: Especially here.

Perhaps you've heard that it is a very old Persian religion, was popular in the Roman Empire, had similarities to more recent major faiths, and may even have had some sort of influence on Christmas?

Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you that almost none of this is true. Mithraism could not have influenced Christianity or Christmas, because

  • Mithraism was a Roman invention not a Persian one, and therefore could not have been brought to Bethlehem by wise men from the East.
  • Mithraic nativity scenes depict goatherds and Magi, not shepherds and Magi.
  • The festival of Mithrasmas only became popular in Rome in the 2nd or 3rd century AD, well after the Christian Apostles began writing letters to the Romans.

Is it at all conceivable that a new age fad of 3rd century AD Rome influenced a serious religion born in 1st century Judea? I would have thought even a head-banging ignoramus could see that the answer is clearly NO. If there was any influence at all, it went in the other direction. (Full article...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

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July 25: International Talk Like Yoda Day, it is.

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Writer and Uncyclopedian of the Month, and Noob of the Moment

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The winner of the coveted Writer of the Month award for May 2014 is Uncyclopedia's very own mysterious father figure, Snarglefoop! In the month's since his winning of our Noob of the Moment award, Snarglefoop has refused to slow down on his quest to become not only the mysterious father figure of Uncyclopedia, but our cool uncle who's always a little bit drunk and talks to us about music and girls while our parents are busy chatting with the other relatives about driving directions or whatever. God, he's such a cool guy! I don't know why Aunt Mable got a restraining order against him but it's probably because she just couldn't handle how hip and with-it he is. Aunt Mable's a total square. She won't even let me swim in the pool when we have Christmas at her house because it's "too cold out for that" and "you can't swim in sweat pants and a denim jacket." Pfft. S-Q-U-A-R-E, squuuuuuuaaaaaaaarrrrrreeee.

Anyway, we usually add some wiki-links to some of the user's articles when someone wins this award, but Snarglefoop doesn't appear to have made a vanity list of his works on his userpage, and we here at the Uncyclopedia Award Dispersal Department are much too lazy to go digging for them if that's going to be the case. Trust us, though. They are very spicy and saucy, and they go great with a John Coltrane album and some rosehips. You're welcome.


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The latest addition to our staff of ace UnNews reporters, Banzaikitten has burrowed his way into our cold, black hearts and managed to scrape out the Noob of the Moment award for May of 2014! In a candid interview with our winner, that may or may not have actually happened, he told us that he plans to continue putting out hard-hitting journalism with a finger on the pulse of society. In response to our inquiries of which of his previous pieces were meant to be in said style, he was heard to utter a hearty "Oh, sod off. What is this, The Onion?"

Banzaikitten: The Voice Of Our Times, The Noob Of Our Moment.


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Nobody won the Uncyclopedian of the Month award in May. Our team of research analysts has taken this to mean that you are all horrible Uncyclopedians who should be ashamed of yourselves. What is this crap? You call this a website?! You make me so mad. I hope you get some sick.


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