From today's featured article
|“||Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.||”|
— Oscar Wilde
Did you know...
- ... that Richard Nixon really just wanted a Magnavox Odyssey?
- ... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are catholic?
- ... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
- ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
- ... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we have no pornographic content?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
In the news
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- Trump presidency a dream, Bush in charge
- Trump warns against 'alt-left' and 'Ctrl+alt+del' groups
- Charlottesville: Stop the hate!
- Donald Trump confuses Presidency for Apprentice, fires Scaramucci
- Trump Jr. to make small daily confessions for the next four years
- Letter to the editor: Aliens ate my nephew!
- Comedian Kathy Griffin brutally decapitates Trump mask
On this day...
- 800 A.C. - Oscar Wilde founds Uncyclopedia by creating articles with random titles, all redirecting to Elvis.
- 1804 - Lewis and Clark go on their famed Raping Expedition. The name causes controversy until it's discovered to be an innocent expedition to sell rapeseed to the Inuits and then have nonconsensual sex with their daughters.
- 1977 - Elvis takes a killer shit.
- 1991 - Fewer than infinity people rally outside the Soviet Union's parliament building protesting the placement of Elvis' portraits throughout Mikhail Gorbachev's Uncyclopedia article.
- 1998 - The Empire strikes back, bombing Uncyclopedia with random pictures of nude Elvis, in retaliation to Elvis bombing the Empire's embassy on Earth on August 7 protesting against deleting his Uncyclopedia article by an admin who claimed the Elvis article to be a "non-notable vanity page by an anonymous Force spirit".
- 2000 - Monkeys on strike against corrupt banana companies. Elvis calls out to fans for a total banana boycott.
- 2002 - U.S. marines find traces of peanut butter-banana sandwiches and methamphetamines in a cave near Kabul along with a written note: "Osama has left the building".
- 2005 - Numerous Uncyclopedia articles vandalized to denote a random sighting of the King in the article.
- 2006 - Numerous UnNews articles vandalized by replacement with a story about Afghan police being bombed, apparently in an attempt at a badly-overstretched joke based on previous two sightings.
- 2011 - You die.
- 2013 - Someone thinks they see you shaking your hips while wearing blue suede shoes, but it turns out to be Elvis.
- 2015 - Elvis announces his intent to run for president of the US stating that he will only communicate from an undisclosed location via electronic voice transmissions.
- 2050 - Someone thinks they see Elvis, but realizes that he's probably dead by now.
Today's featured picture
Featured today a long time ago
UnNews:Tour de France 2011 filled with controversies, featured on 20 August 2011. See the .
Evan Almighty, featured on 20 August 2010. See the .
HowTo:Breathe, featured on 20 August 2009. See the .
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