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From today's featured article

“ To regret one’s own experiences is to arrest one’s own development. To deny one’s own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one’s own life. It is no less than a denial of the soul. ”

— Oscar Wilde

Click on Oscar Wilde's handsome face to be taken to one of our best articles! Choose the next front page article. Write something funny. Do something pointless today.

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Did you know...

• ... that President Hoover (Pictured) was an actual hoover?

• ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
• ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
• ... that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
• ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe?
  • ... like, way more?
• ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
• ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
• ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
  • ... that bears have been known to challenge for the role of Alaska's leader?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news

• Jamie Lee Curtis returning in John Carpenter/Blumhouse Halloween (pictured)

• Meghan Markle to UK: I deepthroat your Prince

• Bullies take Prince lunch, sceptre

• Divine Message sent to UnNews
• Bannon gone, returns to Breitbart

• Trump presidency a dream, Bush in charge

• Trump warns against 'alt-left' and 'Ctrl+alt+del' groups

• Charlottesville: Stop the hate!

• Donald Trump confuses Presidency for Apprentice, fires Scaramucci

• Trump Jr. to make small daily confessions for the next four years

• Letter to the editor: Aliens ate my nephew!

UnNews – Archive – Podcast

On this day...

September 20: Sexual Innuendo Day

• 30,000 BC – Oonak of the Tribe of the Wolf tells Nooma of the People of the Lake that he's got a big, thick woody club back in his cave that he'd love to show her, inventing sexual innuendo.
• 1939 – Second World War declared. Churchill states in his first War-time speech: "We're going to be up against stiff opposition, and what we as a nation will experience in the coming months is going to be long and hard. "
• 1940 – First printing of "Biggles Goes Down".
• 1960 – Oil mining in Alberta, Canada goes wrong, causing the rig to get stuck pumping farther and farther into the hole while the rich liquid spewed out.
• 2005 – Israel pulls out of Palestine.

Archive – View tomorrow

Today's featured picture

By popular demand, the National Pet Association has released a new guide for the best household chemicals to use for exploding your dog. Caveat Canem, indeed. Image Credit: MoneySign Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Featured today a long time ago

Extreme Beach Chess, featured on 20 September 2015. See the featured version.
Cafeteria food, featured on 20 September 2013. See the featured version.
Rock and Roll (food), featured on 20 September 2012. See the featured version.
2 Girls 1 Calculus Equation, featured on 20 September 2011. See the featured version.

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Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.

	UnNews The news source on crack		Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia		Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid		UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper
	Games Another way to waste time		HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything		UnBooks Content-free books		Unquotable Useless misquotes galore
	Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it		UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry		UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues		UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too
	Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice		UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck		UnCommons Broken media repository		UnVoyage Content-free worldwide travel guide