From today's featured article
New York City, USA – Thousands of animal rights activists marched and rode their bikes through the streets of Manhattan today demanding the right to bear poop. "The unthinkable shooting tragedy in (fill in the blank) this week, and the outcry for gun control following hot on its heels like a predictable lovesick puppy, reminded the ultra-educated and intellectually stimulated among us here at PETA that when nature tells a primate's brain to fight, he grabs for his poop," said PETA spokesprimate Ben Affleck.
An antropologist who was wrestled to the ground and arrested earlier this year at Chicago's Brookfield Zoo for throwing his poop at a group of monkeys agreed with PETA's demand. "When I suddenly found myself enraged at the monkeys who were bombarding me with poop, my bowels instantly flushed out and delivered a wet hunk right into my hand. I instinctively knew how much pressure to grab it with and just what sound to make, and, as if I were doing it all my life, I immediately lifted my poop way over my shoulder and flung it at the monkeys. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that it's a surprisingly simple process to starting your own religion? (Pictured)
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
- ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins?
- ... that this in not a DYK entry?
- ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
- ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
In the news
- Comedian Kathy Griffin brutally decapitates Trump mask
- Ramblin' Man Gregg Allman dead at 69
- Happy Days star who isn't Fonzie dies
- Is it too early to make jokes about Manchester? Probably
On this day...
- 1609 - The last town in the world discovers dirt.
- 1610 - Europe carved into that funny shape we know it to be.
- 1929 - Puppies declared the cutest darned thing.
- 1941 - Lithuania declares independence from the Soviet Union, only to be invaded by Nazis.
- 1957 - Gone With The Wind released by Big Ol' Hunka pictures.
- 1991 - Sonic the Hedgehog is released in America, Mario fans cringe.
- 1993 - I bought some milk and put in my refrigerator, France goes on strike.
- 1994 - I certainly wasn't commiting a triple homicide!
- 2000 - Someone thinks about how great things are going.
- 2005 - The milk in my refrigerator is going bad.
- 2008 - LAST last year. No less fucking coincidental.
- 2009 - Sometime last year. Nothing fucking happened. I probably could have told you that, seeing how dull and miserable your life is. Well, too bad. You don't need me to tell you that. Everybody already knows your a pussy, and Nobody Cares what you think. Your whining sickens me, you know that? You really should leave. It'd make us all very happy. Right, everyone? Right.
- 2010 - Jesus arrives on earth as a Native American man, US gives back land and Jesus gets a sitcom.
Today's featured picture
Featured today a long time ago
Tantra, featured on 23 June 2010. See the .
Writing, featured on 23 June 2009. See the .
Guinness Brewmasters, featured on 23 June 2008. See the .
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