From today's featured article
Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday. I thought I might go down to the funeral. Me being her son and all, it was expected of me to bother going down. I'd rather smoke here on my balcony though. I felt the warm sun on my body and I ogled the hot ethnic chicks walking lazily down the Boulevard. I smoked some more and had a coffee. I rested and allowed my body to rest. I heard the man next door complain at his dog. I heard him give it a kick as well. I guess it was a good thing, the dog was disobedient.
As I walked along to the church I was confronted by the heat, the stifling heat of walking to the church. She had been staying at an old person's home after some unpleasantness living with me. I was glad she had gone then, I could 'alienate' as much as I wanted to and the flat was a better place to bring girlfriends back to and chain smoke. (Full Article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Japanese ninjas are among those who have tried to find a way to get across the Great Wall of China? (Pictured)
- ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
- ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
- ... that in 2007 the Department of Homeland Security released a series of informative pamphlets on surviving a terrorist attack?
- ... that Ronald Reagan wasn't the Devil... just really drunk?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
- ... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
In the news
- World in shock after EU turns Donald Trump into a walrus
On this day...
- 2400 BC - In the earliest recorded instance of a Dear John letter, Cleopatra leaves her husband Caesar using a well-placed papyrus scroll.
- 1108 - Last of the Ancient Jizzlamists captured and killed by the Abbasid Caliphate, challenging their Golden Age's renowned tolerance.
- 1862 - New Orleans falls to Union forces under Admiral David Farragut. Union forces would later prove to be the undoing of the manufacturing sector, curse you commies!
- 1942 - Brave Peruvian ace pilot José "Speedy" Gonzales caricatured by shameful American cartoon. (Pictured)
- 1954 - On a dare, a group of drunken Oxford History postgrads build Stonehenge in just under five hours in the middle of the night, Oxford fabricates druids to save face.
- 1968 - The controversial musical Hair, based on an Oscar Wilde work, opens on Broadway.
- 1988 - Video kills the Radio Star: Video is promptly arrested.
- 1993 - Don DeLilo's biting surrealist novel, Jacomo's Belly Fluff, panned by critics as "bourgeois" and "insufficiently postmodern."
Today's featured picture
Adobe Potatochop is the industry standard software for chip production amongst chip shops the length and breadth of England. Available with a number of plugins, including the most recent 'extra crispy' update, it is, along with Adobe Suppersready one of Adobe's most well known pieces of software.
Featured today a long time ago
Earth's Children, featured on 29 April 2012. See the .
Thomas Alva Edison - a man to measure, featured on 29 April 2011. See the .
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