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From today's featured article - History of the world

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The history of the world or human history is the history of humanity from the earliest times to the present, in all places on Earth. Or in short, it's all about stuff that happened while there was someone around smart enough to notice that stuff was happening. At first they were iletterite, and passed their memories on using oral tradition, which disappointingly does not relate to the transference of information via oral sex.

Finally someone worked out how to read, and someone else worked out how to write, and recorded history was then born. History can also come from other sources, such as archaeology, which involves digging stuff up and making up stories about it. Despite this being a recognised field of science, it is not suggested that you dig up deceased relatives and gives them personalities created from your own psychosis.

Human history starts back with the early Stone Age - or the Palaeolithic Era - known as such as that was the time that mankind started using stone tools, not because they were regularly stoned. That had to wait until the NeolithicNeolithic Era and the invention of agriculture, and the subsequent invention of beer, which then lead to the invention of animal husbandry. (Full article...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured.png Dr. N. Toleránt's Informative Letter: An Informative Letter, featured on 18 April 2013. See the featured version.
UnScripts:Who built the moon, featured on 18 April 2012. See the featured version.
Pikeys - Our Friends, featured on 18 April 2011. See the featured version.
HowTo:Get Married, featured on 18 April 2010. See the featured version.
Andrei Tarkovsky, featured on 18 April 2009. See the featured version.

Did you know...

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  • ...that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (pictured)
  • ...that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
  • ...that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
  • ...that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
  • ...that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
  • ...that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
  • ...that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?

In the news

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On this day...

Sparklers

April 18: Dependence Day (Canada); International Throw A Baby In The Canal Day

Today's featured picture

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The revised logo for the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa has been designed to incorporate the host nation's actual national sport...

Image Credit: Sonje
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Writer and Uncyclopedian of the Month, and Noob of the Moment

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What do you get the man who has everything? When you've written one of the most memorable articles of all time, how do you follow that up, and how does anyone begin to show their gratitude? Well, for Denzo, the answer was obvious, if painful. Immediately quit Uncyclopedia so that the burden of excellence can be permanently removed from the shoulders of himself and every one of his hoard of admirers. It was not a decision he took lightly, His entire two-week Uncyclopedic career was to become simply a footnote in the annals of history, his one work going on to achieve the accolades of the greatest of obscure poets and artists. And then, one day, eight years later, we decided to give him a writing award for his troubles. Sleep well, sweet prince.


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You know, they've got me in here tied to a chair. They're sharpening knives and saying vague stuff about how "we wouldn't want anything unfortunate to happen", and they're making me write these award blurbs. I don't know whether they'll kill me or let me go after I've finished, but I do assume they're going to start cutting parts of my face off if I don't get to work. So I'm typing. I'm typing and typing because apparently these masked men don't know how computers work and they just assume that if they hear me typing, I'm doing the work and they don't have to start hurting me. I'm going to just keep typing forever. That should work, right? By the way, we had two winners of the coveted Noob of the Moment prize in January. Snarglefoop, who assures us that he is in fact a resident of the planet Earth, and definitely not a Martian or some other sort of extra-terrestrial being (currently, at least), and the equally-oddly named Lizbink, who apparently is not very good with taming tigers. I hope you and your weird names are very happy together. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to keep on typing....just going to go ahead and keep on typing....and typing....and typing....


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Uncyclopedia operates on a system, like most wikis, that is very unique in that its userbase and its administration overlap in several areas. As such, some users take it upon themselves to help with the day-to-day maintenance of keeping this site clean and functional. And no one does that better than Llwy-ar-lawr, our resident Uncyclopedian of the Month and unpronounceable quandary. You know the drill. This award goes to the user that the aforementioned community of nutters has decided is currently our favorite in all the combined areas of being an awesome Uncyclopedian and generally making this website a better place to be a part of. As poopsmith and generally awesome maintenance expert, she's attained near-MadMax levels of praise from the members of the community who keep an eye on this sort of thing, and kept us from falling just that slight further few inches into obscurity that we would have otherwise definitely succumbed to by now, because we're all lazy and horrible. Congratulations!


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