From today's featured article - 43
43 is a highly controversial number. There are two conflicting schools of thought on the subject that will be discussed here. Followers of Pythagoras claim that 43 is the mother of all numbers and perfect for every purpose, whereas followers of Eisenstein claim that 42, rather than 43, is the perfect number. Throughout history the relative merits of 42 and 43 have been discussed at length, but no conclusion has ever been reached on the matter.
Pythagoras, being a typical famous Greek mathematician, used to think of 43 as the mother of all numbers, good and bad. He defined strict limits to what could be achieved with mixing escatological survey with classical geometry.
Pythagoras set out from the port of Athens, Pireus, pursuing the fleet of Agamemnon. His mind was on his recent findings of 42 when he noticed that there was a box of oranges on the boat. He was working on one of his mathematical projects at the time, so naturally he decided to count up the oranges to see if they could provide any insight into his studies. He found that there were 43 oranges. Because there were 43 oranges, he decided that 43 must be the perfect number.
Agamemnon and his men happened to be travelling in a nearby ship, and they hailed Pythagoras. One of them asked Pythagoras for an orange. Pythagoras considered the request. If he gave away an orange, the 43 would no longer be together, and there would not be a perfect number of oranges. That was out of the question. But it would be terribly rude not to give away any oranges at all. Eventually he settled on giving away all 43 of them. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ...that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (pictured)
- ...that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
- ...that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
- ...that Iran is all set to invade itself?
- ...that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
- ...that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ...that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
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On this day...
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Writer and Uncyclopedian of the Month, and Noob of the Moment
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What do you get the man who has everything? When you've written one of the most memorable articles of all time, how do you follow that up, and how does anyone begin to show their gratitude? Well, for Denzo, the answer was obvious, if painful. Immediately quit Uncyclopedia so that the burden of excellence can be permanently removed from the shoulders of himself and every one of his hoard of admirers. It was not a decision he took lightly, His entire two-week Uncyclopedic career was to become simply a footnote in the annals of history, his one work going on to achieve the accolades of the greatest of obscure poets and artists. And then, one day, eight years later, we decided to give him a writing award for his troubles. Sleep well, sweet prince.
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 You know, they've got me in here tied to a chair. They're sharpening knives and saying vague stuff about how "we wouldn't want anything unfortunate to happen", and they're making me write these award blurbs. I don't know whether they'll kill me or let me go after I've finished, but I do assume they're going to start cutting parts of my face off if I don't get to work. So I'm typing. I'm typing and typing because apparently these masked men don't know how computers work and they just assume that if they hear me typing, I'm doing the work and they don't have to start hurting me. I'm going to just keep typing forever. That should work, right? By the way, we had two winners of the coveted Noob of the Moment prize in January. Snarglefoop, who assures us that he is in fact a resident of the planet Earth, and definitely not a Martian or some other sort of extra-terrestrial being (currently, at least), and the equally-oddly named Lizbink, who apparently is not very good with taming tigers. I hope you and your weird names are very happy together. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to keep on typing....just going to go ahead and keep on typing....and typing....and typing....
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Uncyclopedia operates on a system, like most wikis, that is very unique in that its userbase and its administration overlap in several areas. As such, some users take it upon themselves to help with the day-to-day maintenance of keeping this site clean and functional. And no one does that better than Llwy-ar-lawr, our resident Uncyclopedian of the Month and unpronounceable quandary. You know the drill. This award goes to the user that the aforementioned community of nutters has decided is currently our favorite in all the combined areas of being an awesome Uncyclopedian and generally making this website a better place to be a part of. As poopsmith and generally awesome maintenance expert, she's attained near-MadMax levels of praise from the members of the community who keep an eye on this sort of thing, and kept us from falling just that slight further few inches into obscurity that we would have otherwise definitely succumbed to by now, because we're all lazy and horrible. Congratulations!
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