Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
29,551 articles in English

From today's featured article - Antiques Road Rage Show

Antrr.png

Antiques Road Rage Show is a TV program in which antiques dealers travel around the country, appraising antiques brought in by participants and attacking maniacs who don't know when to stop tailgating. Local people learn about treasures they have in their attics as they vow to kill those idiots who can't use a simple turn signal. The program started in England and has spawned several popular international versions, the Canadian version being co-hosted by a professor of antiquities and an irate ex-trucker who compulsively honks his horn at the car in front.

The show moves through several cities each season. Area residents bring in their possessions and have them evaluated for authenticity and value, while the dealers point out the historical and cultural significance of the objects before setting a price. After the appraisals, participants throw their heaviest antiques at the goddamn morons who can't tell when a light turns green and curse out American host Mark Wahlberg (or British presenter Michael Aspel) when he takes three centuries to merge into the right lane.

Fighting also occurs before tapings. In 1987, former Road Rage Show presenter Hugh Scully cut off a driver on his way into the program, and was shot with a mint-condition M1819 Hall rifle, later valued at ₤2,500. Road Rage Show participants Steven Wayler and Bob Anderson got into a fender bender prior to a 2006 Road Rage Show in Tampa, Fla. and beat each other to death with two rare Tiffany lamps. Their widows were told the lamps could fetch up to $10,000 if they had professionals repair the damage and remove the bloodstains. (Full article...)

Did you know...

What'shisname0.jpg
  • ... that What's-his-name off that thing (pictured) was in that film with that other dude?
  • ...that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
  • ...that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
  • ...that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
  • ...that sarcasm is totally the highest form of wit?
  • ...that if a tree falls in the forest and no one's there to hear it, the tree will begin to sing Nightwish until somebody approaches within earshot?
  • ...that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?

In the news

On this day...

William, the King of Shatner and five-time recipient of the coveted Shatner Award

October 21: William Shatner Appreciation Day

  • 1017 BC - Plato invents a wicked new toy, but squirrels it away for centuries. Not until the New King James translation of his world famous book The Republic is it rediscovered.
  • Nought-686 AD - Conan of Cimmeria becomes Pope, is contracted to star in Conan the Destroyer.
  • 1020 - Some German honkies were enjoyinng a very nice section of the Black Forest until some Romans come sack their village. Today is the day they payed those Degos back with interest.
  • 16-nought-Nine AD - Ninja Turtle Raphael starts beautifying some buildings in Rome. He will one day paint the perfect pizza.
  • 1740 - Worldwide squirrel defenestration conspiracy forms.
  • 18-nought-Five AD - Battle of Trafalgar. French/Spanish/Dutch PWND by Nelson.
  • 1989 - The gateway to Hell opened up for the eleventh time since Britney Spears got out, but it was only to let Mr. Flufferkins go tinkle. Mr. Rogers' neighborhood never recovered.
  • 1992 - Rachael Ray's chicken gains intelligent life
  • 1997 - Frogger crossed the road for the very first time
  • 1998 - The $5 bill was invented
  • 2007 - Buster Keaton is slowly forgotten once again.
  • 2008 - Klingon made the official language of the United States.
  • 2009 - You read this.
  • 2015 - Marty McFly and Dr. Emmett Brown arrive to Hill Valley from the year 1985.
  • 2024 - A fly travels to Nova Scotia to drink some sodas.
  • 1986 - KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

Today's featured picture

Planet.jpg

Pluto's revenge after being demoted. Sun and Moon were no help to Earth.

Image Credit: Tedmund
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Featured users

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Uncyclopedia's sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews:Main Page UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext.png Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans.gif HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
UnBooks UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetia UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo.svg UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why.svg Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo.png UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext.png UnCommons
Broken media repository
UnVoyage!!!.png UnVoyage
Content-free worldwide travel guide