Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
29,563 articles in English

From today's featured article - A letter about Megan Fox

Megan Fox.PNG

January 17th, 2014
My dear and only parents,
I don't write letters very often. Actually, come to think of it, I have never really written a paper letter in my life, so it should be my first and, hopefully, the last letter which you'll receive from me.

But you must be asking yourself what has changed! Well, it's very hard to answer in a few words but there is no sacrifice I won't do for you and so, under the shimmering light of the only functioning lamp in our old house, shivering because of the cold November wind, I am starting my story.

First of all, I would like to wish you a long and happy life without me! There will be no one to wake you up at night to ask for 100 bucks or help with an almost university-level math problem. There will be no one to annoy you with endless stories about his school pals and what kind of music they listen or don't listen to. No one to start screaming, begging for a permission to go out at 11 p.m., and then, permission received, sit playing video games till 1 a.m., locked in his bathroom. (Full article...)

Did you know...

Sidjames.jpg
  • ... that hand transplant patients (pictured) celebrate by masturbating?
  • ...that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
  • ...that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
  • ...that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
  • ...that I am a schizophrenic?
    • ...and so am I?
      • ...me too?
        • ...shut up Frank, you're not even supposed to be here today.
  • ...that I just had sex?
  • ...that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?

In the news

On this day...

You Want Some of THIS!

December 19: You Want Some of THIS! Day (Detroit, MI), Beginning of Blueberry Harvest Season, Hitler steals my bike. I took a monster dump.

  • 927 - The Brits conquered and killed all the Engs but named the country England as a sign of good sportsmanship.
  • 1219 - Some Random Middle Aged Guy could've figured out that the year and day were the same (12/19/1219) but he was in the Middle Ages and thus was too busy jousting. Then the nigga he was joustling stole hisbike.
  • 1912 - Some Random Middle Aged Gentleman from Britain realises that the year and day were also the same, (19/12/1912) and commemorates his 693-yr old American ancestor by pillaging, drinking and regretting [it].
  • 1939 - Hitler freaks out, realizing he only has six days left of Christmas shopping left. Then not one, but 6 Million niggas steal his bike and escape his Insertformulahere'hood.
  • 1974 - International Christmas Day announced (observed by the Internation Foundation of Kids Who Can't Wait Another Week)
  • 1976 - Radical X was created by his mother in MS Paint. Then a nigga steals his bike.
  • 2001 - Michael Flatley Gay Porn music and dance extravaganza Lord of the Rings released to largely horrified reception.
  • 2005 - National "Write the word 'gay' really long day" begins on spoof encyclopedia-related website. Then a Hitler steals his bike.
  • 2006 - That Guy appears. Again. And he dies. The leader of the GOOAH is poisoned.
  • 2017 - Mike Ditka saves the world from Vin Diesel anti-chavs. Then a nigga steals his bike.
  • 2018 - Chuck Norris saves the world from Mike Ditka when the Roundhouse (London) kicks him in the foot. Whitney Houston gains intelligence and steals Chuck's bike.
  • 2019 - Mr T destroys the world from Chuck Norris by hitting him so hard that Chuck becomes aware of all of his floors and saves his own life. Then Oprah comes and steals Mr. T's bike, which he stole from Whitney Houston, which she stole from Vin Disel, which he stole from a gay, which he stole from a nigga, which he stole from Radical X, which he stole from the Jews, which they stole from Hitler, which he stole from a random middle age guy.

Today's featured picture

PedXing.jpg

So THAT'S what that sign meant...

Image Credit: The Woodburninator
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Featured today a long time ago

Green ink, featured on 19 December 2012. See the featured version.
Italy, featured on 19 December 2011. See the featured version.
Mark Robinson, featured on 19 December 2010. See the featured version.
Frida Kahlo, featured on 19 December 2009. See the featured version.

Newest articles edit

Suddenly, ACLU lawyersUnTunes:Do They Know It's Christmas?NirvanaRough Gay Wolf Sex (rw) • SamsungJizzlamMuslim MagomayevSolar flaresUnDebate:Should women rap?EbolaMACHOs and WIMPsSolar windHalloween 5: The Revenge of Michael MyersHalloween III: Season of the WitchArkady OstrovskyTrojan asteroidAntibioticsUnBooks:Mummy, why is father so old?UnScripts:Yes, I'm a lolitaIslamic State of Iraq and the LevantVineMy Yu-Gi-Oh! collectionRegular ShowThree Days GraceI Write Sins Not TragediesMusic theory (rw) • Han SoloLabyrinthJared Leto (rw) • My Week Without PornTypography refreshWhy?:Spay and neuterFar side of the moonCanadian baseballThe Seventh SealHowTo:Get Laid by Playing GuitarPotatoe

Uncyclopedia's sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews:Main Page UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext.png Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans.gif HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
UnBooks UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetia UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo.svg UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why.svg Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo.png UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext.png UnCommons
Broken media repository
UnVoyage!!!.png UnVoyage
Content-free worldwide travel guide