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Did you know...

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  • ...that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (pictured)
  • ...that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
  • ...that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
  • ... that it has been proven beyond reasonable doubt that the reason for 50% of modern marriages ending in divorce is because those people try to go to IKEA together for a relaxing afternoon?
  • ...that torture is better to give than to receive?
  • ...that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
  • ...that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?

In the news

On this day...

January 19: International Porn Day
Porn in braille.
  • 7,998,824 B.C.Monkeys evolve opposable thumbs.
  • 7,998,824 B.C. – Monkeys start to "spank the monkey."
  • 3000 B.C.Egyptians invent papyrus.
  • 2999 B.C. – First pornographic papyrus, featuring Nefertiti. Men say they "just read it for the hieroglyphs."
  • 1450 – Gutenberg invents printing press, prints Gutenberg Bible.
  • 1450 – Gutenberg invents a printing press capable of printing centerfolds.
  • 1850Man invents photography.
  • 1850 – First pornographic pictures.
  • 1953World suffers from a crippling shortage of hand lotion.
  • 1968Braille porn is introduced (pictured), requiring the blind to keep both hands busy.
  • 1970Presidential Commission on Obscenity and Pornography is convened to look into social effects of porn. After six straight weeks of reviewing pornographic materials, the members of the commission say they have come to no conclusions, and ask for six more months to study the issue.
  • 1971 – Man invents videos.
  • 1971 – Man invents porn videos. Video kills the porn magazine stars.
  • 1971 – First porn video director becomes millionaire.
  • 1982 – DARPA, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, begins research into a network that will allow porn to be transmitted even in the event of a nuclear attack. This network, ARPANET, is the precursor of the internet.
  • 1994 – First porn web site reaches 100 million hits. This is particularly impressive when you consider that only 5,000 people had web browsers at the time.

Today's featured picture

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Never underestimate the power of the dwarf.

Image Credit: Modusoperandi
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Featured today a long time ago

Content-free, featured on 19 January 2014. See the featured version.
Cum Dumpster, featured on 19 January 2012. See the featured version.

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