Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
29,432 articles in English

From today's featured article - History of the world

History.jpg

The history of the world or human history is the history of humanity from the earliest times to the present, in all places on Earth. Or in short, it's all about stuff that happened while there was someone around smart enough to notice that stuff was happening. At first they were iletterite, and passed their memories on using oral tradition, which disappointingly does not relate to the transference of information via oral sex.

Finally someone worked out how to read, and someone else worked out how to write, and recorded history was then born. History can also come from other sources, such as archaeology, which involves digging stuff up and making up stories about it. Despite this being a recognised field of science, it is not suggested that you dig up deceased relatives and gives them personalities created from your own psychosis.

Human history starts back with the early Stone Age - or the Palaeolithic Era - known as such as that was the time that mankind started using stone tools, not because they were regularly stoned. That had to wait until the NeolithicNeolithic Era and the invention of agriculture, and the subsequent invention of beer, which then lead to the invention of animal husbandry. (Full article...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured.png Three Watchmen and a Baby, featured on 20 April 2013. See the featured version.
The Yardbirds, featured on 20 April 2012. See the featured version.
People Who Like to Fuck Naked, featured on 20 April 2011. See the featured version.
Giant Jew Band, featured on 20 April 2010. See the featured version.
Ingmar Bergman, featured on 20 April 2009. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Tzun106l.jpg

In the news

Burnt-steak-1.jpg

On this day...

Got Weed

April 20: Hitler's Birthday (Germany), International Marijuana Day (Countries that use the M/D/Y date)

  • 420 - Thousands of marijuana users get throughly ripped as a once-in-a-lifetime numerical coincidence coincidentifies with a 75-times-in-a-lifetime num...where was I?
  • 571 - Cassius Clay born; later changes name to Muhammad, hails himself as "greatest prophet of all time, baby!"
  • 1607 - White settlers arrive at Jamestown, find nothing of value except some inedible, brown leaves and some equally inedible brown people, so they go home.
  • 1792 - France declares war on itself and surrenders.
  • 1814 - The War of 1812 begins, two years behind schedule.
  • 1889 - Adolf Hitler, perhaps best known for his genocide of the Jews brilliant artwork, is born.
  • 1889 - Adolf Hilter is certainly not born.
  • 1943 - France so despises Vichy Government that they do nothing to overthrow.
  • 1991 - A Very Brady Easter premires; Alice crucified to the songs of the Lovin Spoonful.
  • 1993 - Al Gore invents the Environment
  • 1994 - A fireworks display in Oklahoma City goes horribly wrong; bystander blamed and later executed.
  • 1999 - Columbine high school opens the very first high school shooting range in the United States.
  • 2007 - Cho Seung-Hui is welcomed in Hell. Even Satan is not amused.
  • 2008 - Hitler given a Cookie Monster shirt by Jim Henson for his birthday.
  • 2012 - The largest Marijuana festival is held in San Francisco, California with as many as a billion pot smokers attended
  • 2014 - The time code was discovered and the code is 3.141592653589793238462643383279

Today's featured picture

Aoushot1.jpg

A screenshot from Age of Umpires II: Age of Cricket. In this example, we see the classic "Shotgun-Seven" formation being used to maximum effect. Any good Umpire would note that this places a good deal of emphasis on the left side, making it easy enough to sneak in the stray foul wicket.

Image Credit: Hindleyite
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles edit

Eleventeen (rw) | Cereal | Isaac Asimov | Breaking Bad Wind | UnScripts:Puckerbutt | Rollback | UnScripts:Insight into the Mind of an Asparagus | Bread machine | Sugar | Why?:Blocking users is fun | Peter Sagan | Food | Dodo | Leng | Tour de France | Guidebook to the Voting Rights Movement related faces in the cloud | UnDebate:What does the fox say? | HowTo:Know if you're right brained or left brained | UnBooks:My school day | God's deleted contributions | Fisher Price: Halloween | Old White Man | Marilyn Manson | Constitution of the United States (actual text) | Bidet | Mongolia | UnBooks:The da Vinci fuckup | Industrial metal | George H. W. Bush | Uncyclopedia:Competing Style Guide |


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Articles to fix | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Writer and Uncyclopedian of the Month, and Noob of the Moment

Writer of the month.png

What do you get the man who has everything? When you've written one of the most memorable articles of all time, how do you follow that up, and how does anyone begin to show their gratitude? Well, for Denzo, the answer was obvious, if painful. Immediately quit Uncyclopedia so that the burden of excellence can be permanently removed from the shoulders of himself and every one of his hoard of admirers. It was not a decision he took lightly, His entire two-week Uncyclopedic career was to become simply a footnote in the annals of history, his one work going on to achieve the accolades of the greatest of obscure poets and artists. And then, one day, eight years later, we decided to give him a writing award for his troubles. Sleep well, sweet prince.


Noobaward.png

You know, they've got me in here tied to a chair. They're sharpening knives and saying vague stuff about how "we wouldn't want anything unfortunate to happen", and they're making me write these award blurbs. I don't know whether they'll kill me or let me go after I've finished, but I do assume they're going to start cutting parts of my face off if I don't get to work. So I'm typing. I'm typing and typing because apparently these masked men don't know how computers work and they just assume that if they hear me typing, I'm doing the work and they don't have to start hurting me. I'm going to just keep typing forever. That should work, right? By the way, we had two winners of the coveted Noob of the Moment prize in January. Snarglefoop, who assures us that he is in fact a resident of the planet Earth, and definitely not a Martian or some other sort of extra-terrestrial being (currently, at least), and the equally-oddly named Lizbink, who apparently is not very good with taming tigers. I hope you and your weird names are very happy together. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to keep on typing....just going to go ahead and keep on typing....and typing....and typing....


BePrepared.png

Uncyclopedia operates on a system, like most wikis, that is very unique in that its userbase and its administration overlap in several areas. As such, some users take it upon themselves to help with the day-to-day maintenance of keeping this site clean and functional. And no one does that better than Llwy-ar-lawr, our resident Uncyclopedian of the Month and unpronounceable quandary. You know the drill. This award goes to the user that the aforementioned community of nutters has decided is currently our favorite in all the combined areas of being an awesome Uncyclopedian and generally making this website a better place to be a part of. As poopsmith and generally awesome maintenance expert, she's attained near-MadMax levels of praise from the members of the community who keep an eye on this sort of thing, and kept us from falling just that slight further few inches into obscurity that we would have otherwise definitely succumbed to by now, because we're all lazy and horrible. Congratulations!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
link=UnNews:Main Page UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext.png Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans.gif HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
UnBooks UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetia UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo.svg UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why.svg Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo.png UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext.png UnCommons
Broken media repository
UnVoyage!!!.png UnVoyage
Content-free worldwide travel guide


Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 29,432 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
United Kingdom
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
29,432
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
45185
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
18137
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
Wikia 16600
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
Wikia 13485
Italy
France
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
Wikia 8335
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
Wikia 10339
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
5715
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
Wikia 5964
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7577
Finland
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on February 23, 2014.

Potatohead aqua.png Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
This article has been featured on the front page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Template:FA/01 April 2008Template:FA/2008