From today's featured article
According to God's True Word, here are the worst 100* ways to deliver bad news. If you have to tell someone you crashed his car, killed his dog or banged his mum, don't use any of these methods (or at least start at the top).
* God does not care to count this list too closely, and believers are wise not to criticize divine numeration policy. (Full article...)
In the news
- Whirlpool Galaxy files restraining order against Neil deGrasse Tyson
- Jeff Bezos caught stuffing old fat dude into his trunk (Pictured)
- Trump releases abhorrent holiday stimulus package
- George H.W. Bush dies: Best and worst of his life
- Murphy Brown revival not cancelled, (Dan Quayle joke withheld in light of recent events)
- Solipsist suicide bomber "not true solipsist" says solipsist community
- Book finally sells after 27 years, now Hollywood's calling
- UnNews remembers Stan Lee
- How would Ye sound as a metal band?
- Vote your ass off
- Kang and Kodos offensive, claims documentary
- RWNJ vandalizes Halloween billboard ad
- It looks like your ad blocker is on
- UnNews remembers Burt Reynolds
- Trump blows up the outside world in Soundgarden tribute
- Supreme Court says Mississippi River is too gay, renames it to Mistersippi
- Louis C.K. goes outside in George Michael tribute
- John McCain dies at 81
- Metal Machine Music overtakes Chris Gaines as worst selling album of all time
- Fox News: 9 out of 10 Aretha Franklins are Patti LaBelle
- Halloween soundtrack arrives in October
- Madonna is 60. Feel old yet?
- UnNews remembers Aretha Franklin
- TV's Mrs. Garrett dies at 92
- Lordy, there are tapes!
- Trump would/wouldn't flip changes US history
- The Dark Knight: Ten years later
- Chevy Chase, Maryland to change name to Bill Murray
- Donald Trump farts
- A Saucerful of Secrets is 50 years old! Also Michael Jackson
Did you know
- ... that at any second, of any minute, of any hour, of any day, a massive nuclear bomb could land on your house?
- ... and that the only way to survive is to crouch underneath your desk?
- ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
- ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
- ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
- ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
- ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
- ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians?
On this day
- 1337 - Time for a plagarized, boring, cliched, 1337 reference! L0L!!1!ONE@
- 1946 - The Doctors' Trial (for crimes committed during episodes of Doctor Who), begins at the BBC.
- 1958 - The John Birch Society is founded to fight the perceived threat of certain types of trees.
- 1967 - Canada invades Greenland, prompting what most historians regard as the most boring war in the history of mankind.
- 1976 - The CIA fabricates much of the Western United States from Balsa wood and duct tape.
- 1982 - December 8 outstays welcome.
Be a writer
Unfortunately, anyone can edit Uncyclopedia. Click the Edit tab at the top of most pages (or the  link above sections) to try to add your own brand of funny. If you want to take on other tasks, our introduction will guide you through the basic principles of editing, unless you don't know how to read.
There are many resources to help you along the way:
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines — for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for even more resources
Today's featured picture
- More than 10,000 articles: Português · Boarisch · 日本語 · Polski · Plattdüütsch · Italiano · Español
- More than 1,000 articles: Français · Suomi · Dansk · Deutsch · 한국어 · 正體中文 · 汉语 · Русский · Norsk (Bokmål) · Bahasa Indonesia · Česky · ไทย · Esperanto · Ελληνικά · Nederlands · Galego · עברית · Svenska · Slovenčina · Magyar · Українська
- More than 100 articles: فارسی · عَرَبِيّ · Türkçe · Català · Norsk (Nynorsk) · Српски / Srpski · Hrvatski · Lietuvių · Latina · Tagalog · Български · Simple English · Latviešu · Mirandés · Македонски · Română · Cymraeg