Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
29,533 articles in English

From today's featured article - UnNews:Local grandfather won't just accept alien overlords

link=UnNews:Local grandfather won't just accept alien overlords

Cleveland, OHIO - Thomas Garrel, a local man with memories from before The Age of Human Suffering and Sadness, is annoying his family with tales of how life was like before our alien overlords took control of the planet, enslaving all life to do their bidding, and changing the course of human history. His grandchildren are said to dread the boring Sunday lunches filled with tales of what life was like before city-wide forced labor camps, and daily 9 AM child sacrifices became the norm across the world.

"He's always like, 'When I was younger, we weren't forced to de-slime the aliens every day, and humans and animals weren't forcibly cross-bred to create terrible creatures that form the basis of our nightmares and often times go completely insane, causing excruciating deaths, and mass terror across the land,'" speaks his grandchild, Charlotte Garrel. "I mean, we get it. Things aren't like they used to be. Times change. Get over it." (Full article...)

Did you know...

  • ...that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
  • ...that it takes a man about 34 to cross the Atlantic on a turtle?
  • ...that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
  • ...that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
  • ...that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
  • ...that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?

In the news

On this day...

These people are really getting into the spirit of the season.

October 31: International Dress Like an Idiot Day, International Emo Day, International Annoy Strangers into Giving Away Candy Day

  • 1517 - The Protestant Reformation begins. After spending all week on his robot costume, Martin Luther dresses up and goes to the local church but they won't give him candy. He plays a trick on them spreading his theses all over the church door.
  • 1956 - To force Egypt to reopen the Suez Canal, the United Kingdom and France begin a massive bombardment of Egypt using water balloons and raw eggs.
  • 1961 - Joseph Stalin's corpse is dressed up as Frankenstein and set outside Kruschev's house as part of a scary Halloween diorama. Communist Party members are initially outraged, but come around when Kruschev's house wins the USSR's Halloween house decoration contest.
  • 1969 - Women discover that instead of putting time into making an awesome costume they can just take a normal job uniform and slut it up a bit.
  • 2014 - The end is marked by children coming to your door and asking for treats.

Today's featured picture


It's the Magazine for People™!

Image Credit: PuppyOnTheRadio and Bizzeebeever
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Featured today a long time ago

UnBooks:Funeral of the Easter Bunny, featured on 31 October 2013. See the featured version.
UnNews:Cancer research causes cancer, featured on 31 October 2011. See the featured version.
UnBooks:My Daddy Has Two Yachts, featured on 31 October 2010. See the featured version.
Topaz, featured on 31 October 2009. See the featured version.

Newest articles edit

SamsungMuslim MagomayevSolar flaresUnDebate:Should women rap?EbolaMACHOs and WIMPsSolar windHalloween 5: The Revenge of Michael MyersHalloween III: Season of the WitchArkady OstrovskyTrojan asteroidAntibioticsUnBooks:Mummy, why is father so old?UnScripts:Yes, I'm a lolitaIslamic State of Iraq and the LevantVineMy Yu-Gi-Oh! collectionRegular ShowThree Days GraceI Write Sins Not TragediesMusic theory (rw) • Han SoloLabyrinthJared Leto (rw) • My Week Without PornTypography refreshWhy?:Spay and neuterFar side of the moonCanadian baseballThe Seventh SealHowTo:Get Laid by Playing GuitarPotatoeVHSCockroach (rw)

Uncyclopedia's sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews:Main Page UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext.png Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans.gif HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
UnBooks UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetia UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo.svg UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why.svg Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo.png UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext.png UnCommons
Broken media repository
UnVoyage!!!.png UnVoyage
Content-free worldwide travel guide