The three women rescued in Cleveland, Ohio after a decade of imprisonment have immediately logged into their MySpace accounts, illustrating how difficult it will be for them to acclimatize to society in 2013.
Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight were said to have accessed their accounts after spending just twenty to thirty minutes catching up with relatives, none of whom had the heart to tell them that almost all of the site's pages were now controlled solely by a weeping Justin Timberlake.
Berry told us: "The thing is, not much has changed in Ohio since 2003. Or, like, 1993, actually. I mean, there are more Starbucks and stuff, and phones have gotten like way better, but apart from that, it's just Cleveland, and I want to see how many friends requests I have."
DeJesus, who won Best State Surname in 2001, attempted to message us via our MySpace account. It took us several attempts to log in, because the account used an old email, and the password referenced a sexy television actress we stopped having the hots for in about 2004. Finally, we found her message, below literally hundreds from Tom. She wrote: "This is so cool, I have like all these new peeps to check out! OMG Bowling for Soup are playing this like totally small venue near my house! It must be like a secret tour before they hit the stadiums!" (Full article...)
Bi-curious George is the protagonist of a series of popular children's books by the same name, written by Hans Aloveryer and his wife Bernard. The books feature a sexually-ambiguous chimp named George, who is brought from his home in Africa by "The Man with PVC Gimp Mask" to live with him in his cellar. In each of the books, Bi-curious George is identified in the text as a monkey, and although in the illustrations he does not correspond exactly to any non-fictional species of monkey it is believed by many that he is in fact, a Bonobo, a species known to be the sexiest of the great apes.
Only a limited number of recurring characters occur within the Bi-curious George stories, these include:
|
Did you know...
|
- ...that a smiling Joe Pesci is never a good thing? (pictured)
- ...that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ...that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians?
- ...that compromise is a great diplomatic tool?
- ...although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
- ...that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
- ...that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
- ...that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
|
|
In the news
|
|
|
On this day...
|
May 20: Have a Vision of the Virgin Mary Day (South America and Spain), Bacon Appreciation Day (America)
- 200 - Bacon is invented in Turkey.
- 1492 - Christina Columbus, the illegitimate daughter of a mediocre sailor, discovers a new continent, only to have her father Christopher claim the discovery as his own.
- 1551 - For an entire year, people make lame jokes about anagrams and dying of syphilis.
- 1732 - Queen Victoria, the Virgin Queen, declares war on France. Again.
- 1874 - Pope Pius IX sees the Virgin Mary on a strip of delicious bacon.
- 1927 - Charles Lindbergh impresses two continents and wins a load of cash.
- 1930 - A time-travelling Jimbo Wales makes an unsuccessful attempt to kill Hitler. The two later become the best of friends.
- 1932 - Popeye is introduced to Extra Virgin Olive Oyl.
- 1971 - Responding to the Soviet Union's announcementof the day before the BBC start legal predings for copyright violation, claiming "Mars 2 is just a cheap knock off of Button Moon".
- 1988 - Night Court is cancelled. The suicide rate for shut-ins triples overnight.
- 1995 - Some guy finally translates De Bello Gallico.
- 1999 - Sophia Capicola directs the The Virgin Suicides to the delight of spaced out club kids everywhere.
- 2004 - McCaulay Caulkin finally loses his virginity while falling from a cliff.
- 2007 - Illegal aliens crossing the US/Mexico border see the Virgin Mary in the Bush Administration's new 10000 volt border fence.
|
|
.png){kind=logo}
