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From today's featured article

Il bikini Mussolini.jpg

Benito Mussolini (29 July 1883 – 28 April 1945) was an Italian politician, journalist, and the batshit dictator of Italy from 1922 until his execution in 1945. Mussolini was the original fascist (after all, he popularised the term), but always lived in the shadow of his rival Adolf Hitler.

While Hitler had a superficial connection with socialism, being a member of the German Workers' Party and then the National Socialist German Workers' Party, Mussolini actually was a socialist at first: he was the leading member of the National Directorate of the Italian Socialist Party (PSI). Like Hitler, however, Mussolini would be injured in World War I and from then on it all went a bit right wing. (Full article...)

Did you know...

Logic.jpg
  • ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
  • ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
  • ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
  • ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
  • ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!

In the news

On this day...

December 13: International That Guy Day, Speak with a British Accent Day (UK)
  • 10000 BC - Ug Nug Fug Nug is born, the famous musician responsible for the creation of the violin and other various sexually orentated musical instruments (ie the sexualin).
  • 1067 - William the Conqueror invades the previously uninvaded British Aisles.
  • 1732 - The Royal Opera House opens at Covent Garden, London. Screaming bitches heard from miles around, causes widespread riots.
  • 1808 - Count Henrich von Flammenweffer invents Lava as a way of preventing skiers from taking over his favourite mountains in the winter.
  • 1939 - Adolf Hitler invents oral sex and asks his enemies to blow him.
  • 1940 - The French blow Adolf Hitler.
  • 1942 - No people born on December the 13th, due to National No-Birthdays day. Experts attribute this phenomenon as having to do with a worldwide feeling of "I don't feel like getting any ass today" in mid March.
  • 1992 - Bob like pie
  • 1992 - Someone actually ate my shorts.
  • 2002 - Fraidai the 13th, Satan renamed Hell to "Bloody Hell"
  • 2003 - Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein found hiding in a camel hole during Operation Bomb-The-Towel-Headed-Sand-Brigand, and captured.
  • 2003 - SARS becomes the new iPod.
  • 2005 - On the twelfth day of Christmas, My true love gave to me, A summons from the local JP...
  • 2008 - Uncyclopedia was teleported into an alternate universe where this sentence did not exist. It was returned to normal just now.
  • 2012 - Dyslexic people celebrate that the world didn't end with the Mayan calendar yesterday. Everyone else still nervous.
  • Today - That guy realizes that this is the only one about him even though it's his day and gets really really mad.

Today's featured picture

Gandhi first blood 1.jpg

M. K. Gandhi (Sylvester Stallone) is a former member of an elite United States Army Special Forces unit, and was awarded a Medal of Honor for his service in the Zulu War. Gandhi - First Blood tells the tale of his reintergration into society as well as his involvement within the Indian independence movement. A touching and heartfelt movie for all the family.

Image Credit: Mhaille
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Featured today a long time ago

Why?:Your cat died, featured on 13 December 2012. See the featured version.
Extraterrestrial life, featured on 13 December 2011. See the featured version.
UnBooks:The Wait, featured on 13 December 2010. See the featured version.
Golf War, featured on 13 December 2008. See the featured version.

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