UnNews:Trump Administration deletes list of banned countries from White House website

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03:02, 5 June 2025 (UTC)

WASHINGTON, DC: In the middle of the night last night, President Donald Trump inexplicably removed the entire list of countries formally designated by the administration as "Shithole Countries". Whether or not the sudden eradication of the list (which was made public for a grand total of three and a half hours after Trump announced it to the world with great fanfare via X) had anything to do with the world's massive outcry against it has yet to be determined.

The list of sovereign countries (all of which have allegedly drawn Trump's ire for multiple reasons) hadn't even been on the White House website for long enough for anybody to take the trouble of downloading a bootleg copy, especially since scraping data from a website not one's own without proper authorization is highly illegal and generally frowned upon. Nevertheless, memes and rumors of memes have been flying unchecked throughout the entirety of cyberspace, further fanning the fiery flames of ferocity. For example, somebody told me that Secretary of State Marco Rubio privately expressed reservations to Trump about publishing the list prematurely because it would likely put him out of a job, and then mysteriously disappeared early this afternoon.

The New York Times reported Trump's foreign enemies list to have been badly formatted, riddled with atrocious spelling errors, and even had completely fictional countries as if made up on the spot by a cellar-dwelling twelve-year-old from the Department of DOGE. CNN reported that the list had something like triple the number of countries on it than actually exists in the world. ABC News reported that several US states, Puerto Rico, and even California have been dragged into the fracas, listed under "Countries Which True Americans Should Avoid At All Costs". Unfortunately, the website page which had contained the massive list now shows nothing but a patronizing image of a puppy saying "Woof, Woof! The information you are looking for cannot be retrieved! Would you like me to dig up something else? Woof, Woof!". Anything the mass media is currently saying about how erroneous and mean-spirited it was (with the notable exceptions of Uncyclopedia and Fox News) can no longer be independently verified and must therefore be a filthy lie, QED.

France was the first country to declare war on the United States in response to their claim of being mistakenly listed. Germany was the second country to declare war on the United States in response to their claim of being mistakenly listed. Italy was the third country to declare war on the United States in response to their claim of being mistakenly listed. Greenland was the fourth country to declare war on the United States in response to their claim of being mistakenly listed, and as a result, all ongoing negotiations for finalizing the purchase of Greenland by the United States have been indefinitely postponed. Ukrainian officials and Russian officials could not be reached for comment, probably because they have slightly more important fish to fry. Wikipedia was shocked to have also been seemingly listed (under the dubious category of "Countries Which Have Foreign Ties To The Evil Demoncratic Party"), but the associated Wikipedia article written up this morning appears to be badly formatted, riddled with atrocious spelling errors, and even has completely fictional references to external sources as if made up on the spot by a cellar-dwelling twelve-year-old from the Fandom Foundation.