Department of Government Efficiency
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The US Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) is an AI-generated bureaucratic marvel dedicated to streamlining redundancy, optimizing inefficiency, and perfecting the art of doing nothing with style. Founded in 2025 as totally not a meme, DOGE has successfully achieved its mission of wasting taxpayer dollars on pointless initiatives, unnecessary meetings, and flashy PowerPoint presentations. Today, the DOGE stands as a monument to the sublime art of doing absolutely fucking nothing.
Led by Supreme Leader Elon Musk, Elon Musk's as of yet unnamed comedy website project, and Vivek "Skinny kid with a funny last name" Ramaswamy, the agency is committed to protecting Dogeism at all costs from the evil clutches of bureaucratic blue-haired liberals.
Structure of the DOGE[edit | edit source]
The Department of Government Efficiency is divided into various sectors, all of which report to each other to add additionally layers of insanity and confusion:
- The Procrastination Division. Ensures that all employees are busy having fun on Jeffrey Epstein's island having Diddy freak-off parties doing what we all know they actually do over there ;)
- The Alcohol Division. DRINK UP MOTHERFUCKERS! WE HAVIN CASAMIGOS!
- The Black Division. Yo Yo Yo, Wazzup Fam?! Takes every existing document and makes them more woke so that the blacks will continue to work.
- The Brain Rot Division. Skibidi Toilet, Hawk Tuah GYATT RIZZ!
- The Whores Division. PAY ATTENTION TO MY FUCKING BUTT AND BUY MY
POISONSUPPLEMENTS OR ILL HAVE MY MOMMY KRIS JENNER DEFAME YOU WITH AN ARMY OF LAWYERS
History[edit | edit source]
Grok is still trying to AI-generate this history; please wait a minute.
Responsibilities[edit | edit source]
These may include but are...
(error 404 can't be found....the DOGE was too lazy to tell us what they actually do)
Ongoing projects[edit | edit source]
S3XY CARS[edit | edit source]
The Department of Goverment Efficiency is currently leading an effort to ensure that the
Hard Intoxication Shipping + Sending (HISS)[edit | edit source]
The HISS Initiative, which stands for Hard Intoxication Shipping + Sending involves the production, creation, distribution, resale and racketeering of Crapamigos tequila to every level of the government, preferably for cold-hard cash from all the drunk government employees, but anything to make government even more inefficient and intoxicate its employees.
By impairing cognitive functions, officials can make rash, uninformed decisions at unprecedented speeds. Drunk staffers are more likely to "yes" men and foster a culture of unproductive consensus. Slurred speech and poor motor skills ensure paperwork is completed with admirable inefficiency. The HISS Initiative also has sponsored Crapamigos-infused water coolers, free bottles of liquid cyanide at Marquee New York nightclub, and incentives for employees who can't recall their job titles.
Leadership[edit | edit source]
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