UnNews:Worship leader Chris Brown filling in for mainstream Chris Brown, quite literally
Tuesday, June 3, 2025
In the wake of controversial yet somehow still popular R&B singer Chris Brown dealing with some unexpected legal issues in the United Kingdom for being, in the words of a very zealous protester, a "WAHMEN BEATER WHO BEATS WAHMEN AND NOW OTHER PEOPLE LIKE MEEEEE", Elevation Worship's very own worship leader, also named Chris Brown, has been tabbed by RCA Records to fill in for mainstream Chris Brown for the remainder of his Breezy Bowl world tour until R&B Chris Breezy can pony up enough money to make this latest legal challenge go away like always.
In fact, this is not the first time Chris Brown the R&B singer has been in trouble, because [content removed for spam].. ah shucks, even we at UnNews can't post that copy-pasta about his "wahmen beating history" here.
Either way, the Grammy-winning light-skinned black R&B singer, who is stuck in Britain after surrendering his passport, will have a substitute with his white, squeaky clean, good Christian boy counterpart taking his place in the tour.
"I'm pretty stoked about it!" said worship leader Chris Brown when we interviewed him about filling in for his R&B counterpart. "Y'know the best part? Ain't nobody judgin' cause I'm black, or my controversial past, so I'mma go and watch a movie and relax! I get to act a white boy, y'know? And I can still sing! Just that I gotta sing about Jesus all the time though." White boy Chris Brown then punched a random bystander.
We were able to catch up with mainstream Chris Brown as well. When we asked if he was bummed about being replaced, he said "Well, I didn't know that this was what swapping place with my R&B brother from another mother was gonna be like, but holy cow I can dance! There's tatoo's on my neck! I can't believe I woke up in Chris Brown's body! And even though I'm stuck here in Britain, which might as well be like being in jail due to eating the food here, everyone still loves me here! Even the cops, apparently. And.. can I really say the n-word? What up, my nigga!"
Trump Thoughts![edit | edit source]
Our resident "media darling", US President Donald Trump, just had to chime in on this headline:
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| I totally condone RCA's BOLD decision to bring noted Christian artist Chris Breezy Brown on tour in Europe. He's gonna SHOW UP all the Radical Islamic TERRORISTS in Europe and bring them ALL to Jesus. With that I intend to give him a FULL PARDON of all his alleged crimes in the states. MAKE EUROPEAN COUNTRIES CHRISTIAN AGAIN!!! #MECCA. | |||
| 677 ReTruths 985 Likes 4 June 2025 | |||
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Trump was later questioned by the press about this post and was "fact checked" in that worship leader Chris Brown wasn't the one accused of crimes, but R&B Chris Brown. Trump then said "Oh, it's that Chris Brown. Well he's a talented individual, have had a very good liking to his music. A little edgy at times. But I'm gonna pardon him of whatever crimes he has in England or whatever, just gotta look at all the facts like I'm gonna do with Diddy." When corrected once again in that he wasn't able to pardon crimes in Europe, the President claimed he was going to annex all of Europe, leading to a heated exchange with the CNN reporter until he dropped a "You are fake news!" on them and stormed out.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "Chris Brown makes bail, surrenders passport as world tour looms" USA Today, May 22, 2025
- Swanson, Joshua "Not that Chris Brown, the other Chris Brown" WorshipLeader.com, February 10, 2024