UnNews:Birthday Bash Takes a Dive: Helicopter Meets Hudson River

April 13, 2025

Last Thursday at approximately 7:00 PM UTC, a sightseeing helicopter bravely decided to meet the Hudson River face-to-face somewhere between New York City and New Jersey. The helicopter’s heroic dive claimed the lives of a high-ranking Spanish corporate aristocrat Agustin Escobar (49), his wife Mercè Camprubi Montal, their three children aged four, five, and eleven, and of course, the pilot who probably didn’t get the memo about “flying above water.”

The doomed chopper ride was originally planned as a birthday celebration for the middle child’s upcoming big day on April 11 — a tragic twist that left the birthday cake sadly unattended and the candles unlit.

Siemens Mobility issued a statement that can best be summarized as: “Our hearts are broken, and we are sad that our global CEO of rail infrastructure is no longer railroading his way through life.” Meanwhile, Spain’s Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez expressed condolences and reportedly questioned why helicopters can’t just take the subway instead.

Authorities confirmed the helicopter took off from Downtown Skyport in Lower Manhattan, apparently with a death wish. The Federal Aviation Administration and the National Transportation Safety Board have launched an investigation, presumably to figure out how to keep helicopters out of rivers and off insurance claims.

Agustin Escobar was Siemens Mobility’s CEO and former CEO of Siemens Spain, proving once and for all that being a CEO doesn’t grant you invincibility—just better insurance. His wife, Mercè, was communications manager at Siemens Energy, which is totally a different company and totally not involved in this disaster.