Template:RecentUnNews

Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.

• World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured)
• Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize
  • Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah
• Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
• Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
• The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
• US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
• GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
• Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
• Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
• Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
• Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports

Recent deaths: Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • *DMV* - the TV show, not the actual DMV. It ended on a cliffhanger: Everyone was still waiting for their number to be called. • Mr. Strickland

Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity • Sora