Template:RecentUnNews

Clearly not Deion Sanders vouching for his son

• Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank
• PBS and NPR to lose funding
• Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout
• Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide (Pictured)
• Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him
• Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo
• Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian
• World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!)
  • Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church
• Trump Administration prepares to deport everybody except Native Americans
• New Easter Bunny is a fascist

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Jay North • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park Linkin • Gawr Gura • Toxicity • Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill Sobule • Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run

Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's chance at freedom