Aaron Rodgers

“Anyone who plays quarterback in Green Bay is a loser.”

~ Brett Favre on Aaron Rodgers

“I agree with Brett Favre.”

~ Jay Cutler on the previous statement

“No one cares about your opinion.”

~ Terrell Owens on Cutler's opinion

Aaron "Its His Fault" Rodgers (born December 2, 1983) is the man who has replace God Himself (I mean, Brett Favre) as the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers. Although replacing God himself, he quickly ascended to the title of Jesus. Once he gained this title, he used his newfound powers to usurp the mantle of God and claim all powers for himself.

Aaron Rodgers fighting off Favre Fans.

Rodgers is a cock-sucking, jizz-farming, cum-gargling ass hole who often engages in sexual activity with Clay "The Gay" Matthews. Rodgers was sent to Disneyworld where he had to fight off thousands of angry Bears fans to return to his peaceful home in The Shire.

The Running Game[edit | edit source]

The running game this season consisted of John Kuhn and Brandon Jackson. This duo was all that remained after the Battle of Endor. However, Rodgers, wielding the lightning powers bestowed upon him by the great Clay Matthews III, Rodgers was able to run the ball himself, even defeating Oscar Wilde in a footrace from Wisconsin to the Taj Mahal

The Line[edit | edit source]

As you can see, Rodgers takes a fall here "For the sport of it, young chap."

So, who is blocking?! I'll tell you who The Ghost of Jesus! Unfortunately Aaron Rodgers got sacked, a lot, something that never happened to Brett Favre in the history of his 19 (million) year career. Favre would jump on top of the pass rush, stand on their heads, and throw a rocket pass down field to nobody that would kill at least three defenders before he caught it himself. Aaron Rodgers... couldn't do that. But Rodgers did win Super Bowl MVP, which is something that "God himself" never did.

The Defense[edit | edit source]

Every play against the 2008 Packers defense was a touchdown. Until 2009 when the Packers brought in Dom Capers. Capers then said, "I PITTY THE FOO!." and the Packers defense never gave up another score until Tom Brady impregnated another supermodel.

The Wind[edit | edit source]

Clay Matthews III controls the wind. (and everything else for that matter)

The Maya Calendar[edit | edit source]

In December of 2012, the whole world will come to a screeching, blood-curdling halt. You have to admit that it's a distraction, right? Not for Rodgers who will continue to play football under a 13 mile-deep glacier, leagues of cold and dark water, and the inevitable rise to power of Prince, who shall be the glorious dictator of the Republic of the World.

Snap count[edit | edit source]

If you're watching a Packers game and you see Aaron Rodgers at the line of scrimmage, there's a good chance you'll hear him yell "Blue 58!". This is because, due to a huge misconception, Rodgers actually created the Roman Numeral system. In 200 B.C. the Romans, tired of requiring 13 scholars to calculate his passer rating, get the idea for the numeral system from hearing Rodgers snap-counts.

YES IT'S HIS FAULT[edit | edit source]

Rodgers being sad it's all his fault. Especially as all his wide receivers got traded or don't want to play with him no more...

After all of these expert observations as to why it may not be Rodger's fault, it's still his fault.

Brett Favre is God. (Who happens to have an equal number of Super Bowl rings as Rodgers, so really is the God)
Brett Favre would have made the defense worse by throwing consecutive interceptions near the Packer's own red-zone.
Brett Favre would have been productive when it came to 4th quarter comebacks. Productive in this case meaning able to get 5 yards downfield before throwing an interception rather than going 50 and Mason Crosby missing a field-goal kick.
Brett Favre didn't lose to a "fail Mary" and have incompetent refs. It's all Rodgers' fault!
Brett Favre went to two Super Bowls while tossing picks every now and then. Rodgers has gone to just one even though he has the lowest pick rate in the league.
Brett Favre would have gotten the vaccine rather than simply claiming "I'm immunized". Lookin' at you too, Cutler!
Brett Favre is God who voluntarily demoted himself to Rick Roll to let others take the role.
Aaron Rodgers is just a god who thinks he is God Himself.

Brett Favre Vs. Aaron Rodgers[edit | edit source]

The Official Brett Favre Versus Aaron Rodgers Verdict - with evidence.

December 30, 2007[edit | edit source]

Final Score: Packers 56, Lions 2

Favre: 1 start, 25/25, 300 yards, 5TD, 3INTS

Rodgers: 1 garbage time appearance, 2/4, 38 yards, 1TD, 0INTS, 1 kneeldown in the endzone for a safety

Both players were on the Packers at the time. Favre played a little riskier trying things out for the playoffs. Sure, Rodgers got a TD, but he also did a rookie no-no by running out of his own endzone. Noob!

Winner: Brett Favre

October 5, 2009[edit | edit source]

Final Score: Vikings 280, Packers 0

Favre: 40/40, 611 yds, 40TD, 0INTS

Rodgers: 0/50, -12 yds, 0TD, 50INTS

Rodgers proved that Brett really is a god by losing to him

Winner: Brett Favre

November 1, 2009[edit | edit source]

Final Score: Packers 0, Vikings 273

Favre: 39/39, 657 yds, 39TDS, 0INTS

Rodgers: 0/38, 395 yds, 0TDS, 38NTS

Brett Favre had four more yards than Aaron Rodgers, that's also the number of times Brett cock-slapped Aaron after the game.

Winner: Brett Favre

NFC Conference Championship 2009[edit | edit source]

Final Score: Saints 73, Vikings 70

Favre: 39/41, 657 yds, 10 TDS, 1 normal INT, 1 Tony Romo special in the 4th quarter

Drew Breesus: 35/49, 300 yds, 9 TDs, 3 INT

Rodgers: sulking at home after losing in the Wild-card round

Brett Favre once again proved Brad Childress is an idiot by following his play and look what it got them

Winner: The Late Great Rob Bironas

Post-Favre Rodgers[edit | edit source]

Even though Rodgers has gone on to post all those stats, it still doesn't count because Favre isn't there anymore as a measuring stick. Brett Favre also still talks to his family unlike Rodgers.

Winner: Brett Favre

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