~ Brett Favre on Aaron Rodgers“I agree with Brett Favre.”
~ Jay Cutler on the previous statement“No one cares about your opinion.”
~ Terrell Owens on Cutler's opinion
Aaron "Its His Fault" Rodgers (born December 2, 1983) is the man who has replace God Himself (I mean, Brett Favre) as the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers. Although replacing God himself, he quickly ascended to the title of Jesus. Once he gained this title, he used his newfound powers to usurp the mantle of God and claim all powers for himself.
Rodgers is a cock-sucking, jizz-farming, cum-gargling ass hole who often engages in sexual activity with Clay "The Gay" Matthews. Rodgers was sent to Disneyworld where he had to fight off thousands of angry Bears fans to return to his peaceful home in The Shire.
The Running Game[edit | edit source]
The running game this season consisted of John Kuhn and Brandon Jackson. This duo was all that remained after the Battle of Endor. However, Rodgers, wielding the lightning powers bestowed upon him by the great Clay Matthews III, Rodgers was able to run the ball himself, even defeating Oscar Wilde in a footrace from Wisconsin to the Taj Mahal
The Line[edit | edit source]
So, who is blocking?! I'll tell you who The Ghost of Jesus! Unfortunately Aaron Rodgers got sacked, a lot, something that never happened to Brett Favre in the history of his 19 (million) year career. Favre would jump on top of the pass rush, stand on their heads, and throw a rocket pass down field to nobody that would kill at least three defenders before he caught it himself. Aaron Rodgers... couldn't do that. But Rodgers did win Super Bowl MVP, which is something that "God himself" never did.
The Defense[edit | edit source]
Every play against the 2008 Packers defense was a touchdown. Until 2009 when the Packers brought in Dom Capers. Capers then said, "I PITTY THE FOO!." and the Packers defense never gave up another score until Tom Brady impregnated another supermodel.
The Wind[edit | edit source]
Clay Matthews III controls the wind. (and everything else for that matter)
The Maya Calendar[edit | edit source]
In December of 2012, the whole world will come to a screeching, blood-curdling halt. You have to admit that it's a distraction, right? Not for Rodgers who will continue to play football under a 13 mile-deep glacier, leagues of cold and dark water, and the inevitable rise to power of Prince, who shall be the glorious dictator of the Republic of the World.
Snap count[edit | edit source]
If you're watching a Packers game and you see Aaron Rodgers at the line of scrimmage, there's a good chance you'll hear him yell "Blue 58!". This is because, due to a huge misconception, Rodgers actually created the Roman Numeral system. In 200 B.C. the Romans, tired of requiring 13 scholars to calculate his passer rating, get the idea for the numeral system from hearing Rodgers snap-counts.
YES IT'S HIS FAULT[edit | edit source]
After all of these expert observations as to why it may not be Rodger's fault, it's still his fault.
- Brett Favre is God. (Who happens to have an equal number of Super Bowl rings as Rodgers, so really is the God)
- Brett Favre would have made the defense worse by throwing consecutive interceptions near the Packer's own red-zone.
- Brett Favre would have been productive when it came to 4th quarter comebacks. Productive in this case meaning able to get 5 yards downfield before throwing an interception rather than going 50 and Mason Crosby missing a field-goal kick.
- Brett Favre didn't lose to a "fail Mary" and have incompetent refs. It's all Rodgers' fault!
- Brett Favre went to two Super Bowls while tossing picks every now and then. Rodgers has gone to just one even though he has the lowest pick rate in the league.
- Brett Favre would have gotten the vaccine rather than simply claiming "I'm immunized". Lookin' at you too, Cutler!
- Brett Favre is God who voluntarily demoted himself to Rick Roll to let others take the role.
- Aaron Rodgers is just a god who thinks he is God Himself.
Brett Favre Vs. Aaron Rodgers[edit | edit source]
The Official Brett Favre Versus Aaron Rodgers Verdict - with evidence.
December 30, 2007[edit | edit source]
Final Score: Packers 56, Lions 2
Favre: 1 start, 25/25, 300 yards, 5TD, 3INTS
Rodgers: 1 garbage time appearance, 2/4, 38 yards, 1TD, 0INTS, 1 kneeldown in the endzone for a safety
Both players were on the Packers at the time. Favre played a little riskier trying things out for the playoffs. Sure, Rodgers got a TD, but he also did a rookie no-no by running out of his own endzone. Noob!
Winner: Brett Favre
October 5, 2009[edit | edit source]
Final Score: Vikings 280, Packers 0
Favre: 40/40, 611 yds, 40TD, 0INTS
Rodgers: 0/50, -12 yds, 0TD, 50INTS
Rodgers proved that Brett really is a god by losing to him
Winner: Brett Favre
November 1, 2009[edit | edit source]
Final Score: Packers 0, Vikings 273
Favre: 39/39, 657 yds, 39TDS, 0INTS
Rodgers: 0/38, 395 yds, 0TDS, 38NTS
Brett Favre had four more yards than Aaron Rodgers, that's also the number of times Brett cock-slapped Aaron after the game.
Winner: Brett Favre
NFC Conference Championship 2009[edit | edit source]
Final Score: Saints 73, Vikings 70
Favre: 39/41, 657 yds, 10 TDS, 1 normal INT, 1 Tony Romo special in the 4th quarter
Drew Breesus: 35/49, 300 yds, 9 TDs, 3 INT
Rodgers: sulking at home after losing in the Wild-card round
Brett Favre once again proved Brad Childress is an idiot by following his play and look what it got them
Winner: The Late Great Rob Bironas
Post-Favre Rodgers[edit | edit source]
Even though Rodgers has gone on to post all those stats, it still doesn't count because Favre isn't there anymore as a measuring stick. Brett Favre also still talks to his family unlike Rodgers.
Winner: Brett Favre
People: Josh Allen - Drew Bledsoe - Tom Brady - Jay Cutler - Al Davis - John Elway - Quarterback - Brett Favre - Rex Grossman - Colin Kaepernick - Jim Kelly - John Madden - Peyton Manning - Patrick Mahomes - Matt Millen - Randy Moss - Joe Namath - Scott Norwood - Kyle Orton - Terrell Owens - Adrian Peterson - Karen Rodgers - Tony Romo - O.J. Simpson - Daniel Snyder - Brian Urlacher - Deshaun Watson
Organizations: American football - Anti-Football - Canadian Football League - National Football League - Football - Futbol
Society: Gridiron football - Marching band - Patriot Act (football) - The Super Bowl