Pain
“Pain is temporary; glory is forever.”
“Pain is the only way I know how to feel.”
Pain is good. Here you learn basic things about pain to know. You make good to learn basic painfulness.
Basic things about pain to know![edit | edit source]
| Part of an UnSeries on Misery |
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Apathy • Calculus  |
Painful[edit | edit source]
Well, I mean "ouch!". Really painful. I feel pain.
Terrific pain[edit | edit source]
When you feel more painful pain than pain, you call it "terrific pain". It is more painful than pain. You feel sharp pain when you feel terrific pain.
Awfully terrific pain[edit | edit source]
When you feel more painful pain than pain which is more painful than pain, you call it "awfully terrific pain". It is more painful than pain which is more painful than pain. If I continued my futile effort to describe this pain, my brain would probably melt. It is too painful for words.
Bleeding[edit | edit source]
You bleed. Very painful. Don't worry. Blood will congeal in the future.
Ouch![edit | edit source]
When you feel a pain, you will say "Ouch!"
I don't feel a pain[edit | edit source]
When you don't feel a pain, you will say "I can't feel a pain." However, there is a high possibility that you feel a pain soon.
Le pain[edit | edit source]
Why is there Pain?[edit | edit source]
Pain is there to suffer and obviously to procreate. Without a feeling of extreme pain when having to listen to your girlfriend whilst she is shopping men would never dare having sex with them so that they'd shut up. Of course a problem occurs when the woman finally shut up, but you want her to say something (because you are, as mentioned before, procreating). Then procreation always leads to understanding how wonderful it is to be a man as you realize how much pain (in this case to suffer) a woman has to go through after 9 months of lying to her about gaining weight. After the woman finally delivered the thing you did whilst procreating (and you really ask yourself if the fun of not having to listen to your woman talk whilst you where shopping but wanting her to say something whilst you where procreating was worth it) this leads once again to pain and suffering which is indeed the reason why pain is there.
Where is The Pain?[edit | edit source]
The pain resides in a lovely island known locally as Hell. Throughout your short life, you will encounter many types of pain. Although, YOU sir, have never felt THE pain!! To experience The pain, do some bad stuff; kick a few puppies, write some unfunny articles on uncyclopedia, lick the cream from oreos, and other....stuff. Eventually, you will sadly (not) die, and The pain will come. Send a postcard!
Do men feel pain too?[edit | edit source]
Sadly men have to feel pain too. The moment when they realize the truth of the world (and that is that women are just sluts and go on suck dicks as soon as you turn around) you realize that men feel pain. When a man falls in love and truly loves a woman but she finds that boring and she hurts him so much that he wants to die... well that children is when you realize men feel pain too. The only other way men can feel pain is if it is brought to them by Pieter Jan. He is most likely to bring the pain if you take away his peanut butter. Also if a man has kinky African sex he will feel pain.