HeadOn

“So where do I apply it again?”
~ Oscar Wilde

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about HeadOn.

The woman in the commercial using HeadOn, she is so high.

HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, available at Walgreens and other stores nationwide. ^{[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]}

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about HeadOn.

The woman in the commercial using HeadOn, she is so high.

HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, available at Walgreens and other stores nationwide. ^{[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]}

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about HeadOn.

The woman in the commercial using HeadOn, she is so high.

HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, available at Walgreens and other stores nationwide. ^{[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]}

What is HeadOn?[edit | edit source]

HeadOn is the name of a drug derived from residue left over from Kitten Huffing that was processed into a tube. One simply applies it directly to their forehead. The instructions are repeated over and over again multiple times in the HeadOn TV commercial so that even retards and morons know how to use it, leaving only the problem of what the hell it actually does. So far the US Food and Drug Administration has not approved it, but that does not stop it from being sold in drug stores or outside of the USA.

But how do you use it?!

What is HeadOn?[edit | edit source]

HeadOn is the name of a drug derived from residue left over from Kitten Huffing that was processed into a tube. One simply applies it directly to their forehead. The instructions are repeated over and over again multiple times in the HeadOn TV commercial so that even retards and morons know how to use it, leaving only the problem of what the hell it actually does. So far the US Food and Drug Administration has not approved it, but that does not stop it from being sold in drug stores or outside of the USA.

But how do you use it?!

What is HeadOn?[edit | edit source]

HeadOn is the name of a drug derived from residue left over from Kitten Huffing that was processed into a tube. One simply applies it directly to their forehead. The instructions are repeated over and over again multiple times in the HeadOn TV commercial so that even retards and morons know how to use it, leaving only the problem of what the hell it actually does. So far the US Food and Drug Administration has not approved it, but that does not stop it from being sold in drug stores or outside of the USA.

But how do you use it?!

Directions for use[edit | edit source]

See How To Use HeadOn

Directions for use[edit | edit source]

See How To Use HeadOn

Directions for use[edit | edit source]

See How To Use HeadOn

Effects[edit | edit source]

Despite applying HeadOn to their forehead multiple times, many people have complained about the product usually having no positive effect on its user whatsoever.

Of course, the rumors of HeadOn's complete lack of positive effects is partly untrue, the real reason that no effects are evident is that the commercial is 100% misleading. What the government does not want you to know is that if you really want to use HeadOn, to cure headaches, brainfreeze, brainwashing etc. you instead apply it to the temple. In fact, actually applying HeadOn to the forehead often "cures":

Not being stoned.

Being too smart for one's own good.

Voting.

Writing Uncyclopedia articles.

Clicking on Pop-Up web advertising.

Just to make sure that these results are indeed achieved, the makers of HeadOn went to great lengths to tell the public to "apply it directly to the forehead", newer commercials even put in a final message mocking the public for being so blind to their ploy.

Side-effects[edit | edit source]

Side effects are, but not limited to, hair loss, erectile disfunction, memory loss, hallucinations, bad breath, bad attitude, voting for the opposite political party, loss of intelligence, cancer, repetition, homosexuality (especially lesbianism), and addiction to HeadOn. By the way, the commercial (and the product itself) may also cause mild brainwashing in weaker-minded individuals and headaches for all viewers. Nobody knows what happens if you apply it indirectly. You may die.

Effects[edit | edit source]

Despite applying HeadOn to their forehead multiple times, many people have complained about the product usually having no positive effect on its user whatsoever.

Of course, the rumors of HeadOn's complete lack of positive effects is partly untrue, the real reason that no effects are evident is that the commercial is 100% misleading. What the government does not want you to know is that if you really want to use HeadOn, to cure headaches, brainfreeze, brainwashing etc. you instead apply it to the temple. In fact, actually applying HeadOn to the forehead often "cures":

Not being stoned.

Being too smart for one's own good.

Voting.

Writing Uncyclopedia articles.

Clicking on Pop-Up web advertising.

Just to make sure that these results are indeed achieved, the makers of HeadOn went to great lengths to tell the public to "apply it directly to the forehead", newer commercials even put in a final message mocking the public for being so blind to their ploy.

Side-effects[edit | edit source]

Side effects are, but not limited to, hair loss, erectile disfunction, memory loss, hallucinations, bad breath, bad attitude, voting for the opposite political party, loss of intelligence, cancer, repetition, homosexuality (especially lesbianism),incest, and addiction to HeadOn. By the way, the commercial (and the product itself) may also cause mild brainwashing in weaker-minded individuals and headaches for all viewers. Nobody knows what happens if you apply it indirectly. You may die.

Effects[edit | edit source]

Despite applying HeadOn to their forehead multiple times, many people have complained about the product usually having no positive effect on its user whatsoever.

Of course, the rumors of HeadOn's complete lack of positive effects is partly untrue, the real reason that no effects are evident is that the commercial is 100% misleading. What the government does not want you to know is that if you really want to use HeadOn, to cure headaches, brainfreeze, brainwashing etc. you instead apply it to the temple. In fact, actually applying HeadOn to the forehead often "cures":

Not being stoned.

Being too smart for one's own good.

Voting.

Writing Uncyclopedia articles.

Clicking on Pop-Up web advertising.

Just to make sure that these results are indeed achieved, the makers of HeadOn went to great lengths to tell the public to "apply it directly to the forehead", newer commercials even put in a final message mocking the public for being so blind to their ploy.

Side-effects[edit | edit source]

Side effects are, but not limited to, hair loss, erectile disfunction, memory loss, hallucinations, bad breath, bad attitude, voting for the opposite political party, loss of intelligence, cancer, repetition, homosexuality (especially lesbianism), and addiction to HeadOn. By the way, the commercial (and the product itself) may also cause mild brainwashing in weaker-minded individuals and headaches for all viewers. Nobody knows what happens if you apply it indirectly. You may die.

WTF is HeadOn anyway?[edit | edit source]

Mostly water and wax, 99.99999% of it is anyway, about 0.00001% of it has active ingredients (just enough LSD to fool the user into thinking it works). It is a homeopathic medicine not tested by the FDA, which means it might as well be snakeoil. You'll get a much better and cheaper effect to put hot or cold water on a wash cloth and place it over your forehead, because water is the main ingredient.

WTF is HeadOn anyway?[edit | edit source]

Mostly water and wax, 99.99999% of it is anyway, about 0.00001% of it has active ingredients (just enough LSD to fool the user into thinking it works). It is a homeopathic medicine not tested by the FDA, which means it might as well be snakeoil. You'll get a much better and cheaper effect to put hot or cold water on a wash cloth and place it over your forehead, because water is the main ingredient.

WTF is HeadOn anyway?[edit | edit source]

Mostly water and wax, 99.99999% of it is anyway, about 0.00001% of it has active ingredients (just enough LSD to fool the user into thinking it works). It is a homeopathic medicine not tested by the FDA, which means it might as well be snakeoil. You'll get a much better and cheaper effect to put hot or cold water on a wash cloth and place it over your forehead, because water is the main ingredient.

Warning[edit | edit source]

This article was written under the influence of HeadOn, which might distort reality a bit. Local results may vary. Ignore the purple dolphin, he'll only lie to you. Whatever you do, do not head into the light, stay away. The colors, the colors, oh my, the colors! He he he, did you know that using HeadOn makes things appear funnier? That is why this article seems funny now, when in reality it isn't. I bet you never realized that we knew that?

Warning[edit | edit source]

This article was written under the influence of HeadOn, which might distort reality a bit. Local results may vary. Ignore the purple dolphin, he'll only lie to you. Whatever you do, do not head into the light, stay away. The colors, the colors, oh my, the colors! Who knew that purple tasted like orange? He he he, did you know that using HeadOn makes things appear funnier? That is why this article seems funny now, when in reality it isn't. I bet you never realized that we knew that?

Warning[edit | edit source]

This article was written under the influence of HeadOn, which might distort reality a bit. Local results may vary. Ignore the purple dolphin, he'll only lie to you. Whatever you do, do not head into the light, stay away. The colors, the colors, oh my, the colors! Who knew that purple tasted like orange? He he he, did you know that using HeadOn makes things appear funnier? That is why this article seems funny now, when in reality it isn't. I bet you never realized that we knew that?