High fructose corn syrup

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Poison?
Kellogg's Frosted Flakes, one of the few cereals in the American marketplace that does not contain High Fructose Corn Syrup

High fructose corn syrup is a drug supplied to the United States government by the Cuban and ChaiKnees government for free. Cuba and Chai-Nuh provide HFCS to gullible, public schooled Americans as part of a communist plan to get Americans to become tremendously overweight psychotic hambeasts, have nationwide heart attacks, and die prematurely in the name of Ronald McDonald and Burger King. The Cubans and Chai-Knees keep consuming that healthy cane sugar and monkfruit from Tibetan slaves, thereby giving them more power.

High fructose corn syrup is so addictive that food companies add it to their products in order to ensure consumers keep buying their food. Some products that frequently contain HFCS are: breakfast cereal killers, bread, salad dressing, mayonaise, ketchup, pasta, soft drinks, and many, many snacks.



Things HFCS is[edit]


It is found everywhere. Don't you dare dress your salad!


Yes, it tastes so good. Much better than the cardboard flakes those health nuts want to feed you.


One is never enough. Always more. More ketchup on your fries. More Oreo cookies. More store-bought lemonade. More Hawaiian PAWNCH. More Chef Boyardee Shit Ravioli. More DIABESITY.


It's in your cereal for breakfast. In your sandwich at lunch. Your sauce during dinner. In all your snacks. Dine out and you don't even know if you're getting it or not.

Consequences of consuming HFCS[edit]


Consuming HFCS leads to running out of money. This is because the substance is addictive, and leads consumers to buy more food and spend more money. The money will end up in the hands of the communists.


This is what people who consume HFCS ultimately look like

Your waistline will get so large, you will not be able to fit into your favorite clothes anymore.


150% of those who consume HFCS will eventually develop diabetes.

Heart attack[edit]

A heart attack. This is the way everyone who consumes HFCS eventually dies - that is, unless you change your evil ways.

Mommy's medicine cabinet.jpg
  v · t · e  
Mommy's Medicine Cabinet

Aspirin | Caffeine | Chantix | Cheerios | Cocaine | Codeine | Coffee | Crack | Crack Corn | Ecstasy | Dexedrine | Gluten | Haoma | HeadOn | Corn Syrup | Jesus Juice | Kittens | Laudium | LSD | Magic mushrooms | Marijuana | MDMA | Medicine | Meth | Opium | Prozac | Ritalin | Side effects | Soma | The World's Most Powerful Drug | Tylenol | Viagra | Walgreens | Xanax | Heroine (drug)