Worms are small tubular animals, much like snakes, but without scales, bones, and teeth, and they cannot read or scare people as much. Worm poison is 10 times more powerful than any snake poison. This number is suspiciously coincidental with the fact that only 10% of snakes are not poisonous, making them the coolest living creature in the "History of Cool Creatures Volume 2" by Charles "The Snake" Darwin. Worms go well on waffles and are known for their ability to travel faster than the speed of light, by bending time and space (thereby creating wormholes).
The Tunisian Ass Worm[edit | edit source]
The Tunisian Ass Worm is worm is an unpleasant parasite that makes its home in your ass. People usually contract a Tunisian Ass Worm infestation in water contaminated by slugs and fecal material and found primarily in Tunisia. Symptoms of a Tunisian Ass Worm infection include explosive diarrhea, excessive itching, all around crankiness. How to get rid of the Tunisian Ass Worm? Well, hospitals offer an unpleasant invasive procedure. Home removal involves the use of kerosene, a small fishing reel, a butane lighter, and WD-40.
The Mongolian Death Worm[edit | edit source]
The Mongolian Death Worm is a type of worm that lives in the Mongolian Gobi Desert. It kills about 30000 mongolians every year, including such illustrious figures as Genghis Khan and Roy Cohn. It is sometimes called Allghoi Khorkoi which literally mean "blood filled intestine worm". It is attracted by the color yellow, and it can shoot deadly corrosive acid and bolts of lightning. Only this worm has the power to fight a shark on land or in water. This worm is said to be able to generate enough electricity to kill a full-blown cow. Nashville Tennessee currently gets over 75% of its municipal power supply from a jar full of Mongolian Death Worms. Follansbee, West Virginia, in contrast, does not receive any power from death worms.
Do worms have teeth?[edit | edit source]
No, worms have no teeth. Sharks however have many, many teeth among many other superpowers like razor skin, super senses, underwater breathing, electric powers and Shark-Ray Vision.
How do Worms Dig? Is it with their teeth?[edit | edit source]
No, worms don't have teeth but in several Worms games they do, but don't actually eat anything. Well, at least, currently they don't. But you never know. It could theoretically happen.
Then How?[edit | edit source]
Worms don't really dig. They just eat dirt. Mainly they just eat on one side and crap on the other. This is the reason why some people, like Hitler, believe the Earth is either hollow, or filled with worm shit.
Shark dietary habits[edit | edit source]
In contrast to Sharks, worms eat mainly earth, dirt, rocks, concrete, and occasionally hair. Their favorite kind of hair is the hair from big rabbits who belong to women, hence the expression: "The Worm is eating her hare's hair!!!" commonly used by mongolians who live in the desert, as will be explained later, or not.
The shark's main diet consists of humans. Contrary to what most would think, sharks dislike the taste of surfers, they just have the amazing ability to sense bros from thousands of miles away with sensitive douche-detecting cells in their anal-lands, leading to bleeding diarrhea and one pissed off shark.
Sharks prefer to eat little children, sunbathing girls, and Republicans. Great White Sharks often disguise themselves as humans in order to eat the food Tina!, however their human costumes are lame since they look too white, specially the great white shark, who looks bigger and Blacker. The only sighting of non-disguised landsharks is on the set of saturday night live.
Did You Said Blacker?[edit | edit source]
Yes, Im glad you asked. Great Whites look blacker, but only slightly blacker, like Michael Jackson is blacker than an albino blacker. In fact Michael Jackson is a great white shark in disguise, the shark assumed his identity after eating the real Michael Jackson. (Who was black)
The Worm Wars[edit | edit source]
Worm wars have existed always, proof of this is Worms: Armaggedon. The only thing that can kill an angry worm is another worm, among many other things, including Sharks, Bombs and Eva Longoria.
Varieties of worms[edit | edit source]
Varieties of worms are all lame. except for alghoi korkoi, also known as Uncycloworm in crappy, countries populated by morons, such as the United States of A.
Similar creatures[edit | edit source]
Many creatures are similar to worms, but all are easy to distinguish.
- Snails: are larger than worms, and possess hard parts, such as teeth, or the shell
- Uterus Larvae: Are thinner than worms, have pointed heads and tails, and eat flowers
- Salamander: Have legs, eyes, and are slimyer than worms
See also[edit | edit source]
[edit | edit source]
- Singing worms