BOGOTA, Colombia - It has recently been revealed that the gigantic brawl that recently broke out at a soccer game in Columbia was caused by a bitter argument amongst audience members over existentialism and solipsism and its relevance to modern society. The fight left 80 people wounded; 18 of them had brutal stab wounds.
Juan Johnon, one of the men who started the brawl, says, "There I was, enjoying a good game soccer...or European football...whatever. I was enjoying watching a bunch of men in shorts kicking a ball around. As I watched, I discussed existentialist principles with my best friend Jerry, as I always do during soccer games. That's when the trouble started."
