Noopnurf

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Noopnurf
People's Republic of Nooplenurf
République des Nœuf
Noine.png
Cheesey Meat with Bread.png
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "We Plow The Fields And Scatter"
Anthem: "Why Is My Car In Brazil"
Meat Nine.png
CapitalCross between Berlin and London
Previous capitalSomewhere in Yorkshire
Largest cityHorse Meat Quarter, Section 4
DemonymNooples
GovernmentDemocratic Dictatorship
‑ Supreme LeaderLord Chewy Rubbins
‑ AmbassadorSeven of Nine
National Hero(es)Boris Johnson, Hitler, Gareth Gates
Established1860 (Honda Accords)
CurrencyChocolate Coins & Hope
ReligionAggressive Spaghettism
PopulationAt least 2
Ethnic groupsRoman Numerals, Arabic Numerals, also the number 5 which is a special guest
Major exportsBeautiful women
Major importsMeat, Cows, Beef, Cheese
Favourite
 pastime
National 'Fire Tranquiliser Darts At Unsuspecting Road Users' Day
Hours of
 operation
9:30am - 2pm (siesta) 5pm - 9:30am
Internet TLD.cow
Drives onCeiling

“No, it doesn't mean nine nipples.”

“OH YES IT DOES”

~ Pantomime Expert

Noopnurf is an extraordinarily beautiful town made entirely of reconstituted German sausage and shaped like the number 9.

Its origins are elusive, mysterious, and eternally edible.


No-one quite knows where it is.

Discovery

Noopnurf was discovered on April 19, 1869 in Yorkshire, England, alongside a single piece of olive-oil soaked sourdough bread. Upon closer inspection, it was found to contain life.


Experts examining the surface using highly refined sonic microscopes discovered a team of villagers trying to hike a mountain of fat, a small town with 3,482 inhabitants, and Barry Manilow singing a ballad to a group of bemused sheep in a field. Shocked, they left to get an even more powerful microscope, but when they returned they found the giant slab of 9-shaped mince (which they had named Noopnurf for unknown reasons) had vanished.


Unbeknownst to them, it had been carried away by gale force winds that both emerged and dissipated in the space of 3 seconds as soon as they left.

Thanks to the winds, all that was left in its place was a crater, as well as a battered road sign that read:

YIELYsss

Noopnurf was never seen again, but the bread was okay.

Obscurity

Documents pertaining to this event were only recently discovered, having been lost for more than 140 million years.

Lord Chewy Rubbins

Chewy Rubbins, self-appointed Nooplord and award-winning potato
Saxahorse.png

Stats

  • Believes Viennese Whirls are tasty
  • Born in a shed in 1498 and somehow still alive
  • Can bench press absolutely nothing
  • Can juggle the world's largest potatoes
  • Is legally classified as a potato according to the Geneva Convention
  • Was Henry VIII's favorite jester for a few years
  • Is not Barry from EastEnders
  • Is not Barry, 63
  • Is not this guy
  • Is not that guy

Accolades

United Kingdom
This user is a total UKer
…jolly good, Guv. Bloody good day for it!
(British Uncyclopedians)
This user is a native speaker of English.
Finest
This user is a
Tesco Finest User.
Finest
527
This user is 527 years old. Woop-ti-doo.
527
Bigfoot.gif
This user believes in, or might possibly be, Sasquatch.
Bigfoot.gif
Clock.gif
This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
4years and 2days.
Clock.gif
Homer6.png
This user is Homer and is here to say, he will eat some ACC 200 from Germany and he will not die
Homer6.png
Shyny ub.jpg
This user is easily distracted by anything shiny.
Shyny ub.jpg
Oh, so tasty.
Yes, I would like fries with that.
Oh, so tasty.