Noopnurf
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Watch for Falling Rocks. |
Noopnurf People's Republic of Nooplenurf République des Nœuf | |||||
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| Motto: "We Plow The Fields And Scatter" | |||||
| Anthem: "Why Is My Car In Brazil" | |||||
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| Capital | Cross between Berlin and London | ||||
| Previous capital | Somewhere in Yorkshire | ||||
| Largest city | Horse Meat Quarter, Section 4 | ||||
| Demonym | Nooples | ||||
| Government | Democratic Dictatorship | ||||
| ‑ Supreme Leader | Lord Chewy Rubbins | ||||
| ‑ Ambassador | Seven of Nine | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Boris Johnson, Hitler, Gareth Gates | ||||
| Established | 1860 (Honda Accords) | ||||
| Currency | Chocolate Coins & Hope | ||||
| Religion | Aggressive Spaghettism | ||||
| Population | At least 2 | ||||
| Ethnic groups | Roman Numerals, Arabic Numerals, also the number 5 which is a special guest | ||||
| Major exports | Beautiful women | ||||
| Major imports | Meat, Cows, Beef, Cheese | ||||
| Favourite pastime | National 'Fire Tranquiliser Darts At Unsuspecting Road Users' Day | ||||
| Hours of operation | 9:30am - 2pm (siesta) 5pm - 9:30am | ||||
| Internet TLD | .cow | ||||
| Drives on | Ceiling | ||||
“No, it doesn't mean nine nipples.”
“OH YES IT DOES”
Noopnurf is an extraordinarily beautiful town made entirely of reconstituted German sausage and shaped like the number 9.
Its origins are elusive, mysterious, and eternally edible.
No-one quite knows where it is.
Discovery
Noopnurf was discovered on April 19, 1869 in Yorkshire, England, alongside a single piece of olive-oil soaked sourdough bread. Upon closer inspection, it was found to contain life.
Experts examining the surface using highly refined sonic microscopes discovered a team of villagers trying to hike a mountain of fat, a small town with 3,482 inhabitants, and Barry Manilow singing a ballad to a group of bemused sheep in a field. Shocked, they left to get an even more powerful microscope, but when they returned they found the giant slab of 9-shaped mince (which they had named Noopnurf for unknown reasons) had vanished.
Unbeknownst to them, it had been carried away by gale force winds that both emerged and dissipated in the space of 3 seconds as soon as they left.
Thanks to the winds, all that was left in its place was a crater, as well as a battered road sign that read:YIELYsss
Noopnurf was never seen again, but the bread was okay.
Obscurity
Documents pertaining to this event were only recently discovered, having been lost for more than 140 million years.
Lord Chewy Rubbins
Stats
- Believes Viennese Whirls are tasty
- Born in a shed in 1498 and somehow still alive
- Can bench press absolutely nothing
- Can juggle the world's largest potatoes
- Is legally classified as a potato according to the Geneva Convention
- Was Henry VIII's favorite jester for a few years
- Is not Barry from EastEnders
- Is not Barry, 63
- Is not this guy
- Is not that guy
Accolades
en N |
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This user is a Tesco Finest User. |
527 |
This user is 527 years old. Woop-ti-doo. |
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This user believes in, or might possibly be, Sasquatch. |
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This user has been on Uncyclopedia for 4 years and 16 days. |
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This user is Homer and is here to say, he will eat some ACC 200 from Germany and he will not die |
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Yes, I would like fries with that. |
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My edits: 1,551 |