User talk:168.11.96.2

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DogNewspaper.jpg UnSignpost Home Delivery
STOP... SIGNPOST TIME!!

Oh Dear...[edit source]

Beware! The evil eye is upon thee!

Hello, 168.11.96.2, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.

If you read anything at all, make it the above four links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (OOjs UI icon signature-ltr.svg) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!  Alula.gifAlula.gif 18:18, 13 February 2023 (UTC)

left Water bottle, a page you created, has been tagged for speedy deletion via QVFD.

You are welcome to submit content that complies with our content policies. However, please do not simply re-create pages with the same content or remove deletion tags from pages. You may always message an active admin to resurrect your deleted content.

Thank you for wanting to contribute. Pasmorade (talk) 14:12, 9 May 2024 (UTC)

WARNING![edit source]

we can look up what you did at RecentChanges

you are vandalising, we can see that based on what you do in the article The Godly Breadcrumb, pls stop very thanks. TiazuGotAutism333 (talk) 14:36, 13 May 2024 (UTC)

hollup wait a minute[edit source]

But The Godly Breadcrumb is finished? Why is it considered vandalizing stuff? Also it may or may not be worth noting that someone of the same IP Address as me created Water Bottle. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 168.11.96.2 (talk • contribs)

Yeah, i'm not exactly sure what Tiazu means is vandalism there. The edits look completely fine to me. Alula.gifAlula.gif 15:46, 16 May 2024 (UTC)

Welcome![edit source]

Hello, 168.11.96.2, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please create an account, and then take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:

Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (OOjs UI icon signature-ltr.svg) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, post on our community forum, join our Discord, or message an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please create an account to get special privileges (such as editing semi-protected pages), and to hide your IP address, as it can be used to track your location. — L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 21:25, 5 February 2025 (UTC)

As for the other guy who supposedly made a water-bottle page: — L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 21:26, 5 February 2025 (UTC)

Welcome![edit source]

Hello, 168.11.96.2, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please create an account, and then take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:

Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (OOjs UI icon signature-ltr.svg) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, post on our community forum, join our Discord, or message an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please create an account to get special privileges (such as editing semi-protected pages), and to hide your IP address, as it can be used to track your location. — L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 21:26, 5 February 2025 (UTC)

aight I quit my very short lived 2 hour UnNews career of yesterday[edit source]

man this shit too hard what da fuh--168.11.96.2 (talk) 12:31, 20 February 2025 (UTC)

mods now scare me[edit source]

danipine3 is everywhere all at once, this dude be seeing everything in recent changes, this is like 1984 man cuz I be seeing him everywhere I go, he be spending all his life watching uncylopedia vomit up "content" (despite being a content-free encylopedia) and then he's gonna see this on recent changes and go "yes" to all of this probably maybe, I need a gosh darn tinfoil hat! absolutely terrifying stuff, stuff to tell your children at the age of 2 so they may beware of uncylopedia mods--168.11.96.2 (talk) 14:26, 20 February 2025 (UTC)

why are you worried about danipine3? The Wikipedia mods are way worse. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ OPOSSUMSIG.gif (vandalize my talk page) 14:06, 20 February 2025 (UTC)

I'm worried bout this dude because every time during the day I edit or make an article out here, dani shows up and adds categories, templates, ICU notices, anything, goes to the talk page, absolutely monitors me and apparently everyone else, IP users ain't safe man --168.11.96.2 (talk) 14:26, 20 February 2025 (UTC)

Sometimes I do that as well, when I said that I bully ip users while dani's asleep, that's what I was talking about… Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ OPOSSUMSIG.gif (vandalize my talk page) 14:22, 20 February 2025 (UTC)
168.11.96.2, you know you can also monitor people, right? it's not just an admin thing; anyone on this wiki can. so it's not like in 1984 because here the proles can also do it. just click this link snd you'll see it by yourself... (also, sign) 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 14:30, 20 February 2025 (UTC)

police state except everyone is the police --168.11.96.2 (talk) 14:31, 20 February 2025 (UTC)

pretty much. although admins can ban you, but you can't ban us 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 14:32, 20 February 2025 (UTC)
Now, I would recommend making an account. After editing for a while, you'll be able to do things like add more "A"s to the "AAAAAAAAA!" article. And more importantly, admins and wannabe admins won't be constantly watching you 24/7. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ OPOSSUMSIG.gif (vandalize my talk page) 14:35, 20 February 2025 (UTC)

I mean I can make an account at home I guess, i'll shove it on the talk page that its just me--168.11.96.2 (talk) 14:36, 20 February 2025 (UTC)

hold on, you aren't at home? 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 14:41, 20 February 2025 (UTC)
@DaniPine3: Don't forget about time zones. I just got up, but I assume it's past noon for you, Dani… Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ OPOSSUMSIG.gif (vandalize my talk page) 14:44, 20 February 2025 (UTC)

I'm in EST--168.11.96.2 (talk) 14:45, 20 February 2025 (UTC)

Well, I'm in PST, three hours behind you. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ OPOSSUMSIG.gif (vandalize my talk page) 14:46, 20 February 2025 (UTC)

yo its me[edit source]

ok I'm this account but the wifi at this place bugged out and I got a new IP address, I'm still this dude though. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 168.11.96.2 (talk • contribs)

I'm back[edit source]

IP thingy got fixed – Preceding unsigned comment added by 168.11.96.2 (talk • contribs)

guys[edit source]

my IP got fixed again 168.11.96.2 (talk) 12:12, 25 February 2025 (UTC)

ultrakill article[edit source]

once I make the account I will make ultrakill a real article, however it will likely be an incessant rant on the PEAK lore, graphics, and music of the 8 released layers (PRELUDE, LIMBO, LUST, GLUTTONY, GREED, WRATH, HERESY, VIOLENCE), the prime sanctums (P-1 SOUL SURVIVOR, P-2 WAIT OF THE WORLD), and maybe the secret missions (0-S, 1-S, 2-S, P-1 is gluttony secret mission, 4-S, 5-S is a fishing simulator, P-2 is heresy secret mission, and 7-S)

I love ultrakill

also I will have screenshots of every single feature, mission, weapon, and the encore levels, except P-2, which I haven't reached, and as such will steal a screenshot from the internet. (despite me getting 23 restarts on 0-E) – Preceding unsigned comment added by 168.11.96.2 (talk • contribs)

you know, it's not a bad idea to make an article on Ultrakill, however I'd say that the way you're doing it is rather... stale. First, you're making a section for each level in the game, which is a rather weird way to make the article; and each section only has like one line of text, which makes the article look rather short. Perhaps you could rather explore the plot and the gameplay of the game in a more generic way, and also mention things like its fandom or even the production of the game. Also you could check several articles on indie games -like Undertale or Omori- as well as the category Category:FA Video games to get a better understanding on how to do an article. Also very important - read HTBFANJS. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 18:29, 27 February 2025 (UTC)

right now it isn't necessarily done, and the plot is already done now in the section "lores." jokes will be added somewhere, but are going to be concentrated in the fandom/community section. funnily enough I was planning a development section. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 168.11.96.2 (talk • contribs)

don't forget to sign - even if it's your talkpage. also, if you're going to add a lore section, a development section, and a fandom section; then the levels section of the article might make the article longer than it should, considering it has a lot of subsections. plus, you should try to add comedy in the whole article, since this is a satire wiki, and the main priority here is to make comedy. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 19:04, 27 February 2025 (UTC)

yeah, it is a comedic thing, the website, the humor (and thus substance) to the article is mostly going to be in the community/fandom thing. the levels subsections problem is gonna be basically, me describing them in much more detail than is listed right now 168.11.96.2 (talk) 19:09, 27 February 2025 (UTC)

I don't think you should add much more detail, though; because as I've said before, that might make the article a tad longer than it should. also, if the funny stuff is only in the fandom section, then I'm pretty sure the article might break HTBFANJS... 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 19:17, 27 February 2025 (UTC)

in that case, i'll probably sprinkle more jokes throughout, which would have to be concentrated in certain levels I even can make a joke of (I could go on a 30 year long rant on why I hate Streetcleaners for LIMBO /// SECOND) and in the lore, I suppose I could put something about sex/gay sex. sex/gay sex is basically gonna have to be one of the big jokes about machines throughout the article --168.11.96.2 (talk) 19:20, 27 February 2025 (UTC)

Hey…[edit source]

You do realize that Tatitlek and Angoon are nearly 500 miles away from each other, right? Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ OPOSSUMSIG.gif (vandalize my talk page) 20:33, 12 March 2025 (UTC)

@OPOSSUM: are those real name of real cities 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 20:40, 12 March 2025 (UTC)
@DaniPine3: Yes. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ OPOSSUMSIG.gif (vandalize my talk page) 20:41, 12 March 2025 (UTC)
@OPOSSUM: how 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 20:52, 12 March 2025 (UTC)
@DaniPine3: What? You've never heard of Metlakatla, Alaganik, Newhalen, Kwigillingok, Talkeetna, Chickaloon, Akhiok, Chalkyitsik, Atqasuk or Hogatza? (These are all real town names in Alaska, look them up) Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ OPOSSUMSIG.gif (vandalize my talk page) 20:57, 12 March 2025 (UTC)
so it WAS the stupidly long distance that made ya change it 168.11.96.2 (talk) 11:11, 13 March 2025 (UTC)

why YOU should create an account![edit source]

Serious Zone: The following section contains no jokes. Don't expect any laughs... unless you find disclaimers hilarious. We don't judge.

the following talk message is mostly a joke. also, create an account.

End of Serious Zone: Prepare for jokes in bad taste. You have been warned.

You know what's worse than World War Three? Ava Kris Tyson getting contact with another minor and committing more pedophilia. But you know what's even worse? The fact that you haven't logged in into an account! Seriously, it's five buttons! Not even five, just click here and do the magic!

You know what's crazy? The fact that an entire energy crisis in Moldova has happened and ended during the time that you haven't made an account.

You know what's gay? The word "gay". But you know what's even worse? The fact that you might've been here ever since April 2024, and you haven't made an account. Whichever braincells in your brain are deciding not to sign in, go fuck them. It's almost been a year of being here without an account.

Actually, even longer. Two years.

You know what shouldn't have happened but happened anyways? The fact that your talk page is somehow bigger than mine. Uh... I just wanted to say that.

Okay, let's get a little bit in-depth now. Why should you make an account? Because you'll be funny. Seriously.

  • You will have an ACTUAL watchlist and you will have the ability to be thanked.
  • You will be funny.[citation needed]
  • Read above.

Anyway, if you don't make an account after this, I'm not gonna be mad, I'm just gonna stab you. How will I stab you? By finding your IP.

okay i just wanted to type stuff don't take this seriously :))) (but make an account, duh.) gergdown, eh (talk) 16:35, 27 March 2025 (UTC)

Hmm, I wonder what this ip's ip is... — L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 21:10, 27 March 2025 (UTC)
@L10nM4st3r: it truly is quite the mystery. we may never get to know what 168.11.96.2's IP is, alas. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 21:23, 27 March 2025 (UTC)
That's a shame. I guess theultimategergdown is gonna have a hard time finding his ip then. — L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 23:28, 27 March 2025 (UTC)
Well, it appears that somebody knows what this guy's IP address is… Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ OPOSSUMSIG.gif (vandalize my talk page) 23:40, 27 March 2025 (UTC)
WHAT IS IT!?? — L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 23:42, 27 March 2025 (UTC)
FELLAS. i've already tried to make an account, but the verification said "nah fuck you!" and just didn't even work, hence, i literally cannot make an account (by the way after like 3 PM my IP account thing randomly switches to 96.i.forgot for some fucking reason 168.11.96.2 (talk) 11:58, 28 March 2025 (UTC)
you said that it would let you log in with an account after a period of time, didn't you? how much time is there left before you can log in with an account? 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 12:06, 28 March 2025 (UTC)
nah it didn't say that it told me "you have reached the maximum amount of accounts an IP can create" 168.11.96.2 (talk) 12:12, 28 March 2025 (UTC)
hold on, but wouldn't that message suggest that you've actually created, not one, but several accounts? where are all of those accounts? 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 12:16, 28 March 2025 (UTC)
in short, remember how you told me to make an account? I DID try, but it wouldn't verify via Gmail, my only vector for verifying. 168.11.96.2 (talk) 12:18, 28 March 2025 (UTC)
and how many times did you try? and did all of those attempts end in you not being able to verify via Gmail? 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 12:29, 28 March 2025 (UTC)
3 times, all of them ended in failure 168.11.96.2 (talk) 12:47, 28 March 2025 (UTC)
well, that sucks. it surprises me the wiki won't let you log in more than 3 times. maybe you could try with a different IP; either waiting for the IP of your router to change at night, or going to a different plaece where you can have internet access. 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 12:50, 28 March 2025 (UTC)
okay 168.11.96.2 (talk) 12:53, 28 March 2025 (UTC)
When I created my account, I initially didn't verify with email, because at the time there wasn't an email I could use and respond with (didn't have a pc or laptop or even a phone at the time). — L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 22:41, 28 March 2025 (UTC)
When I created MY account in November 2021, I didn't verify it for a year and a half. So I didn't edit this site until April of '23. Oᑭöᔑᔑᙀᙏ OPOSSUMSIG.gif (vandalize my talk page) 22:45, 28 March 2025 (UTC)
I was able to edit before I verified. — L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 22:48, 28 March 2025 (UTC)
The solution to not being able to create an account is pretty much always to try again later. If it still doesn't work, then use that other IP address for this instead. Alula.gifAlula.gif 08:44, 29 March 2025 (UTC)

I declare myself king of the IPs[edit source]

i hereby on this windy and overcast day declare myself the king of all IP's and the creation of the Kingdom of IPlandia because I'm the best IP man 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:26, 9 April 2025 (UTC)

VFH[edit source]

Please do not nominate something like the main page again. I do not want to have to formally restrict you from making VFH nominations. Thanks. Cheers. MrX blow me Emoji-drool.gif 14:42, 14 April 2025 (UTC)

@MrX: yeah my bad man I didn't know I couldn't do that, talked to Dani about it and stuff 168.11.96.2 (talk) 16:22, 14 April 2025 (UTC)
No worries, all good. MrX blow me Emoji-drool.gif 17:07, 14 April 2025 (UTC)

THE JUMBO WHALE RISES! Then falls to smash you.[edit source]

Jimbo Whales - whale.png

MEGA SMASHA!

You've been squished by a jimbo whale!
Please take this very seriously: L10nM4st3r wants to let you know that you did something jimbo silly, which may or may not include creating Wikipedia oops sorry, wrong person. Your reasoning for being smashed by a whale is: NOT MAKING A FACKING ACCOUNT!!!!! What a bloody baby. — L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 20:08, 14 April 2025 (UTC).

@L10nM4st3r: can you un-whale me because I made account 168.11.96.2 (talk) 12:29, 8 May 2025 (UTC)
No. — L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 12:48, 8 May 2025 (UTC)
Use it more often. — L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 12:48, 8 May 2025 (UTC)
ok 168.11.96.2 (talk) 12:49, 8 May 2025 (UTC)

Trout[edit source]

Rainbow trout transparent.png

Whack!

You've been whacked with a wet trout.

Don't take this too seriously. L10nM4st3r just wants to let you know that you did something silly, which may or may not include Thinking you were immune from getting trouted — L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 20:09, 14 April 2025 (UTC)
dang it. 168.11.96.2 (talk) 11:17, 15 April 2025 (UTC)

American economy[edit source]

Your page got huffed but I saved it for you just in time with a few... modifications I was in the middle of rewriting your article when i realized it got huffed in the middle of writing. So I copypasted it into my sandbox and saved your life's work funny. I know how much it means to you as I recently had my own article put in there but got it out. It's at https://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Coffi/Saved Coffi (talk) 16:41, 25 April 2025 (UTC)

This isn't the first time, actually. This is like...the 15th. It's been a constant process of trial and error. I think I've written maybe 20 articles, and 15 have been smited (as I just said). But anyways, I can try to make it again (if I can find the mod that huffed it's permission). Thanks. 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:05, 25 April 2025 (UTC).
Yeah, no problem. I'd hate to see your work dissapear without a trace. Maybe we could try to write an article or two toghether to try to see what pleases the mods and what doesn't. Coffi (talk) 17:15, 25 April 2025 (UTC)
@Coffi: hell yeah. by the way: are you new here? 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:31, 25 April 2025 (UTC)
@168.11.96.2: yeah. very new. Coffi (talk) 17:41, 25 April 2025 (UTC)
@Coffi: if you haven't read through the rules and HTBFNJS (how to be funny and not just stupid, click here or here, also ask me if you got questions on how this shit works 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:51, 25 April 2025 (UTC)
well not that new. i've been writing stuff since april 11. i never thought i would actually stay on uncyclopedia, but i kinda got the hang of it. hopefully i can get popular enough to be pleasing to the mods. Coffi (talk) 17:55, 25 April 2025 (UTC)
okay well that's great then. 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:57, 25 April 2025 (UTC)

PULVERIZEING THE SUN[edit source]

Hey 168! (I'll just call you that because I can't memorize your entire IP.) I figured out how to make a link clickable after 5 seconds, so you don't have to do the complex scrolling stuff:(This link is invisible until 5 seconds)

Click here after 5s fade

That was hard to do.

Coffi (talk) 17:40, 25 April 2025 (UTC)

speaking of this stuff, coffi. I might create an account this afternoon (in that event I will ping you, Dani, alula, and OPOSSUM, and maybe even gergdown, since they have begged of me to make a "FACKING ACCOUNT!!!".) 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:42, 25 April 2025 (UTC)
cool. cool. very cool. ill be excited to hear of it. Coffi (talk) 17:45, 25 April 2025 (UTC)

you can now rejoice, alula, dani, gerg, and stuff[edit source]

@Alula: @DaniPine3: @gergdown: @L10nM4st3r: the day hath come, where i hath finally maketh an accountyeth, so this user is now inactive, sort of, and replaced by me.


outro theme time or some shit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R95f7VwXqIw Schism (talk) 03:45, 26 April 2025 (UTC)

you're an IP again?[edit source]

I thought you had registered... 🎄🎄🎄DaniPine3 (talk)🎄🎄🎄 14:22, 26 April 2025 (UTC)

I forgot the password, give me like 40 minutes, i'm just looking around rn. I guess this IP thing isn't totally over, and during certain times i'll be on this making like 5 minor edits a century 168.11.96.2 (talk) 14:23, 26 April 2025 (UTC)

@168.11.96.2: The password should be in our Discord chat. Coffi (talk) 18:12, 26 April 2025 (UTC)

THE JUMBO WHALE RISES! Then falls to smash you.[edit source]

Jimbo Whales - whale.png

MEGA SMASHA!

You've been squished by a jimbo whale!
Please take this very seriously: L10nM4st3r wants to let you know that you did something jimbo silly, which may or may not include creating Wikipedia oops sorry, wrong person. Your reasoning for being smashed by a whale is: taking 2 years to make an account, and when you finally did, not even using it very often. Then telling me to unwhale you while not even using your account. Surely, you must see the irony? — L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 12:49, 8 May 2025 (UTC).

oh ok 168.11.96.2 (talk) 12:50, 8 May 2025 (UTC)

am i a fish[edit source]

if I got jumbo whaled then am I a fish since whales eat fish 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:51, 14 August 2025 (UTC)

Good day good fellow[edit source]

Would you like to help me rob a mexican monkey Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(Yell at me)Sun-asplode.gif 11:43, 22 September 2025 (UTC)

or at least join the unsignpost Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(Yell at me)Sun-asplode.gif 11:44, 22 September 2025 (UTC)
yea 168.11.96.2 (talk) 11:48, 22 September 2025 (UTC)
cool. i need a second story. do whatever. Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(Yell at me)Sun-asplode.gif 11:59, 22 September 2025 (UTC)
@Turb0-Sunrise: sooooo do I just edit the current issue 168.11.96.2 (talk) 12:56, 22 September 2025 (UTC)
yeah Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(Yell at me)Sun-asplode.gif 13:09, 22 September 2025 (UTC)

The UnSignpost rises! Then falls to smash you.[edit source]

The UnSignpost
Also read Gerg's Shitroom!
September 24, 2025 • Issue #222 • Archives • Press Room
Hunt for Red Soxtober OFFICIALLY ON! FUCK YEAH!!!

By Turb0-Sunrise
With the Tampon Bay Retards being eliminated from playoff contention, the Boston Red Sox officially clinch a playoff position. FUCK YEAH!!!!OPOSSUM Loses His Shit (for the billionth time) As usual, nobody cares. By Turb0-Sunrise
The legendary marsupial OPOSSUM has officially lost his shit.

Opinion: Nebraska sucks By Schism
Man, Nebraska sucks. Think about it. They provide nothing but milk, and I can go get milk at home anyways or something. Wait... no I can't. Point is, there's other sources of cow milk or whatever. And besides, other people can make milk too! Not to mention Kansas or South Dakota, who could all easily make more milk than Nebraska if we just sink Nebraska into the sea and move all of Nebraska's population into the other states. Fuck Nebraska!

Biopic Uhh, wait until next week.

Ask Turb0

  • {{{q1}}}
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From The Logs

  • 16 September 2025:

Top VFH Competitors

VFH Highlight Of The Week Nothing's been featured since those Poop Sonnets. (/)

From The Forums

UnSignpost News The UnSignpost will now come out every Wednesday, at approximately whenever the fuck i get around to it EST.

Quote(s) of the Week {{{quote}}}

Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(Talk to me, Goose!)Sun-asplode.gif 20:10, 24 September 2025 (UTC)

hooray 168.11.96.2 (talk) 11:49, 25 September 2025 (UTC)

Vote whoring time[edit source]

Bum you a vote? Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(Talk to me, Goose!)Sun-asplode.gif 13:33, 25 September 2025 (UTC)

no 168.11.96.2 (talk) 13:49, 25 September 2025 (UTC)
Damn you. Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(Talk to me, Goose!)Sun-asplode.gif 14:15, 25 September 2025 (UTC)
yamn dou 168.11.96.2 (talk) 16:07, 25 September 2025 (UTC)
I'll kick you in the crotch so hard you'll be smelling your own balls for a month Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(Talk to me, Goose!)Sun-asplode.gif 17:23, 25 September 2025 (UTC)
you wanna take this outside? 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:27, 25 September 2025 (UTC)
Ill fucking take you outside... to the fucking dumpster. Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(Talk to me, Goose!)Sun-asplode.gif 17:31, 25 September 2025 (UTC)
uh hollup I'm getting jumped rn 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:39, 25 September 2025 (UTC)

Hey you[edit source]

vote or die Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(Hunt for Red Soxtober!)Sun-asplode.gif 14:47, 30 September 2025 (UTC)

on what 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:17, 30 September 2025 (UTC)
road rage (also i accidentally welcomed you) Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(Hunt for Red Soxtober!)Sun-asplode.gif 17:23, 30 September 2025 (UTC)
@Turb0-Sunrise: done, also please help me with this at some point 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:29, 30 September 2025 (UTC)
uhh i know jack shit about that kind of stuff Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(Hunt for Red Soxtober!)Sun-asplode.gif 17:30, 30 September 2025 (UTC)
summary: Finland & Korea are superpowers (but Earth is an alien colony now), tech is unimaginably advanced, Hwans (aka Koreans) hired mercenaries Carthage style, and autism is a WMD because it makes people go insane. is that enough? 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:32, 30 September 2025 (UTC)
and I want you to help because I play games particularly literally about war/other forms of conquest/nations in general (Risk Universalis on Roblox, Civ V, Project Wingman, Halo, etc.), giving me a bit too much bias towards realism (I am forced to write essays upon essays of my genocide of the Shitfucklandians in risk AAAAAAAAAA) 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:35, 30 September 2025 (UTC)
"Shitfucklandians" made me giggle. Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(Hunt for Red Soxtober!)Sun-asplode.gif 17:37, 30 September 2025 (UTC)
I have literally wrote 7 paragraphs on me (the Weissenschkapans, a colonial empire styled after the Dutch & Germans) committing mass genocide against the "Yappinglandians" for revolting once, I have fought the "Meowian Collective" over a colony in Proxima Centauri, I have nuked the fucking "Moon Reich", and much more, this game cannot get less serious no matter how much larp I larp 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:40, 30 September 2025 (UTC)

YANKEES SUCK! also, UnSignpost[edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things
October 1, 2025 • Issue #223 • Archives • Press Room
A competitor? What perverted bullshittery is this?!

By Turb0-Sunrise
In a shocking twist of events, the UnSignpost's monopoly on bullshit news is under a nonexistent threat. Theultimategergdown's "Gerg's Shitroom" is "a shittier version of the UnSignpost" that only he can edit. I smell perverted bullshittery! To be fair, I don't have a great sense of smell. Fuck you. Also, what's with this weird line? Yeah, that one. On the right. Other right, retard!Bermuda's Fucked. By Turb0-Sunrise
As Hurricane Humberto becomes the latest Cabo Verde swing-and-miss, Tropical Storm Imelda brews north of the Bahamas. Forecast to begin affecting Bermuda as a hurricane this afternoon.

VFS is Open! By who do you think
As of earlier this morning, Alula has opened up VFS. Let the shitstorm begin. RealDonaldTrump has jumped out to an early lead.

Biopic The Olula is a Frankenstein-esque monster created by duct-taping the head of an Alula to the body of an OPOSSUM. The brain power of an Olula is very weak, as they only know hot to say one phrase, "“HIPPITY HOPPITY SHMIPPITY SHMOPPITY PIPPITY POPPITY FLIPPITY FLOPPITY SCRIPPITY SCROP-" OH GOD GET THE CUCUMBERS!

Ask Turb0

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Quote(s) of the Week {{{quote}}}

Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(YANKEES SUCK!)Sun-asplode.gif 14:21, 1 October 2025 (UTC)

let me write a bit next time 168.11.96.2 (talk) 17:18, 1 October 2025 (UTC)
perchance Sun-asplode.gifTurb0-SunriseSun-asplode.gif(YANKEES SUCK!)Sun-asplode.gif 17:20, 1 October 2025 (UTC)

Oh God, not another UnSignpost![edit source]

The UnSignpost
Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.
October 8, 2025 • Issue #224 • Archives • Press Room
Yet more competing bullshit.

By Turb0-Sunrise
We just got over Gerg's Shitroom existing[1], and now we have yet another competitor. TropicalPanther's "New Tropical Times" has arrived on the newspaper scene this last Sunday. Damn it, I wanted the cool job nobody else had! And seriously, what's with this line? L10N! GET IN HERE AND FIX THIS!Turb0-Sunrise in the Ho(u)S(e)? By Turb0-Sunrise
Among many random events going on today, UnSignpost editor Turb0-Sunrise has made it into the Hall of Shame with his latest article, Road Rage.

Sockpuppets By who do you think
We have a socker! Wikicreator2562 is a rampant sockpuppeteer. With 5 confirmed socks, be on the lookout for any article on the fictional piece of bullshit Cherbia, or anything concerning the HowTo Store.

Biopic

Gergdown, formerly Theultimategergdown, is the creator of articles such as Lawrencium, as well as Make it to Ketchikan's Vancouverite Sojourn, is one of the only Canadian Uncyclopedian still around. Gergdown is also the author of Gerg's Shitroom. Go read that. Nothing happens here.

Ask Turb0

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Quote(s) of the Week {{{quote}}}

Sun-asplode.gifKUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la BostonSun-asplode.gif. 14:09, 8 October 2025 (UTC)

wait, so...[edit source]

your telling me, turb0 can just kidnap you to vote on his articles??? can i join??? 🍁 gergdown 🍁 ☀️ 14:54, 12 October 2025 (UTC)

no, I will be vaporizing Idaho for this 168.11.96.2 (talk) 11:51, 15 October 2025 (UTC)
vaporize florida instead 👻CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻19:12 11 11 '25 12:01, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

Stop, collaborate and listen! USP is back with a brand new edition![edit source]

The UnSignpost
YANKEES SUCK!
October 15, 2025 • Issue #225 • Archives • Press Room
Ask Turb0!

By Turb0-Sunrise
A new forum topic, Ask Turb0, has opened up. The forum allows people like you to ask Turb0-Sunrise questions about anything. that's right, anything. The top 5 questions each week get on the USP. Like, we need questions. Please.USP-GS Merger? By Turb0-Sunrise
Gerg's Shitroom author Gergdown and I are considering a merger. Does this really matter? No. Will anything change? No. And the merger actually happened. Will the world implode? Find out next on Uncyclopedia: The Soap Opera!

What's with all the new users? By Turb0-Sunrise
Within the past month or so, several new users have popped up. Soviet, Teh Epik Duck, DestructiveCriticism, and LavaLampDrinker, just to name a few. Is this the Uncyclopedia comeback we've been waiting for for the past 12 years or so? Or is it false hope? Only time will tell.

Biopic Soviet, one of the newest users on the site, has been a prime contributer to the ASBOxAAT series, notably helping black out the whole canvas in the small version of ASBOPAAT, and creating a large Canada leaf that Fish better not turn purple! in the big version.

Ask Turb0

  • What are some of the best hiking trails on the Presidential Range? -OPOSSUM
  • In short, Jewell Trail, Tuckerman Ravine Trail, and the Crawford Path.
  • Which is more versatile, big sticks or pool noodles? -OPOSSUM again
  • Big sticks, as they can be used for all things pool noodles can be used for, save cannons.
  • U got a big stick? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) -OPOSSUM yet again
  • Perchance.
  • why do you guys in new england call shit different things, why do you call water coolers "bubblers", why do you guys call "cold" as 31*F and not -1*C, ect. -Gergdown surprisingly
  • I don't know about the bubbler thing, but we do call remote controls "clickers" up here. And -1*c is basically the same as 31*f, so it's about the same.
  • How many hours of sleep do you get? -Soviet
  • Yes.

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Quote(s) of the Week {{{quote}}}

👻CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻19:12 11 11 '25 16:49, 15 October 2025 (UTC)

Ugh, not another UnSignpost![edit source]

The UnSignpost
Tip your waiter!
October 22, 2025 • Issue #226 • Archives • Press Room
Hurricane Roulette

By Turb0-Sunrise
The 2025 Atlantic hurricane season's newest fuck-buddy, TropicalPanther Storm Melissa, has formed, and is expected to hit just about anywhere from Costa Rica to Florida. Give it to Florida! HIT MIAMI! Or just do nothing and give some Caribbeans a bath whether they like it or not.Yonkagor Sucks, Panther! By Turb0-Sunrise
TropicalPanther's newest childish obsession, the furry/musician[citation needed] Yonkagor, is getting out of hand. Panther's escapades include attempting to turn LPTEW into a forum about it, among other things. What Panther doesn't realize, is that even though I've never even heard of it, I can already tell that it sucks.

Gerg nommed for admin, does not go well By Turb0-Sunrise
Notable[Of course not!] user Gergdown has been nommed for adminship by yours truly. It's not going so well. Somehow, it sits at 0, and get this: Gerg hasn't even voted for himself yet.

"Erm, actually, if you check everybody's noms on VFS, nobody actually has voted for themselves yet 🤓 also give me half an year and then nom me again 🤓 🤓 🤓" — Gergdown

Biopic

Ask Turb0

  • how does water taste in New England -IP man
  • Yankee hatred and a little bit of rust
  • are you a aviation enthusiast? -Soviet
  • Not really, but planes are cool I guess.
  • More questions?
  • Yes, Gerg.
  • Are you unemployed? -Soviet
  • Squirrel!
  • '

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Quote(s) of the Week It skids over the sea like Jesus on crack. -OPOSSUM

👻CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻19:12 11 11 '25 22:41, 22 October 2025 (UTC)

The spooky USP is here![edit source]

The UnSignpost
The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!
October 29, 2025 • Issue #227 • Archives • Press Room
Spooky signatures?

By Fish on skates
The epidemic of spooky signs is almost over, hopefully. It all started when I made up a new "spookysig" featuring purple and orange as opposed to my normal eye-burning pink, Hatsune Miku blue, and neon brown. Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire joined in the fun when he made up his own spooky signature. A newcomer, Teh Epik Duck, also made a spooky signature, rebranding himself as Teh Spooky Duck and putting an additional color in there, green. Who will be the next to become spooky? ALL-CAPS MARSUPIAL? Oneshot Bird, perhaps? Maybe even Daniel Pinus the 3rd? Anything goes when it's spooky sig season!Gergdown finally does something useful

By Turb0-Sunrise
Local hozer and resident dumbass Gergdown has finally done something useful for Onwards to Boston, uploading probably one of the best songs ever, "Dirty Water" by The Standells. You can listen right over there on the right.

Turb0 Upgrades His Pages By Turb0-Sunrise
After stealing various stuff from Gerg, Turb0-Sunrise's user and talk pages actually kick ass now. Seriously. Go look at them. The talk page header is particularly nice. Gerg's headers are neat too. Check those out.

Identity Criseses Among Us By Who the fuck do you think
Apparently, many users are not who they think they are. According to Gerg, Alula and DaniPine3 are the same person, Opossum is ASSGORE DREEMURR, Big MOCCASIN Billy is the Friend Inside Me, Knife Guy is THE ROARING KNIGHT, and I'm Toby Fox. Ask him about it.

Alternatively, you may read it here. Biopic

Ask Turb0

  • what do you plan on doing for the rest of your uncyclopedian career? -Gergdown
  • Your mom!
  • if i were to turn you into a bigfin squid would you become Turb0-Squidrise? -number dude
  • bluug blorp blub.
  • the vancouverite sojourn paradox: since vancouverite sojourn has music, templates, and images, and has more pages than efo, is it technically mitk 2.5? -gerg
  • yes
  • '
  • '

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Quote(s) of the Week “Yeah peepee poopoo bitch, you're a person who got divorced by Tony fucking Montana.” -Gergdown
If you are over 18 and a smoking hot firefighter, you could also piss on me. -Shabidoo

👻CUN Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire 👻19:12 11 11 '25 21:38, 29 October 2025 (UTC)

Damn the torpedos USP!=[edit source]

The UnSignpost
Because if the rumors don't spread at the salon, we must spread them in the news.
November 5, 2025 • Issue #228 • Archives • Press Room
There is no news

By Turb0-Sunrise
Nothing. At. All. Interesting. Has. Happened. Period. Wait, yes there has.My userpage gets vandalized By Turb0-Sunrise
Yeah. Fuck you, IP. Seriously, why mine though? Aren't there 7 or 8 active admins to do that to? What did I even do?

Turb0 gets thumbsucker By Who do you think
Yeah. That happened. Thanks, MrX.

Biopic

Ask Turb0

  • Whos your favorite vocaloid -hockey salmon
  • none of them
  • What do you think of grammer not sees? -Commie
  • fuck them.
  • How do you spend your time outside of Uncyclopedia? -Rat
  • Bold of you to assume he does spend time outside of Uncyclopedia -Fish. Thank you, Fish.
  • '
  • '

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Sun-asplode.gifKUNSir Turb0-Sunrise de la BostonSun-asplode.gif 20:22, 5 November 2025 (UTC)

  1. ↑ because it's actually funny. Nice work, gerg.

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