Berkelium

Berkelium, ₉₇Bk
	Looks like balls haha
Berkelium
Atomic symbol	Bk
Atomic number	97
In the periodic table
	Curium ← Berkelium → Californium Terbium; ↑; Berkelium; ↓;
Physical properties
Boiling point	like SO HOT!
Isotopes	Is he going to take points off if we leave it blank?

Omg, my stupid chemistry professor is making us write this stupid presentation and essay on like, an element? Anyway I chose Berkelium because it sounds like UC Berkeley (GOOOOOOO BERKS!) Ok, Becky, write all this down, ok? K.

Berkelium, symbol Bk, atomic number 97, is one of those squares in that poster on the science classroom wall. It is, like, liter-uhh-ly one of those elements that only exists because scientists were bored and had nothing else to do.

History[edit | edit source]

Okay so, like, officially, Berkelium was discovered in 1949 by some old guy, which is kinda hot, I would fuck him if his name didn't sound like sea-burger… SO gross! Also some, like, other guys: Albert Cheese and Tommy G? I don't knowwwww their names Becky, I always skip chemistry because it's hard and I had a hangover...

But like in reality, it was found at a frat party, (NO BECKY, not the one where he put the bottle in my ASS! That was last MONTH, stupid). Anyway-uh, we’re at Delta Chi? And there's that guy, Chad, kinda hot, like surfer chahhh bro you know? Anyway he's trying to get it on with this girl in chemistry, and omg there's NO chemistry between them! Woah, that was so clever of me, write that down Becky!

Oh-migawd! I looked sooo cute at that party...

Anyhoo, Chad tries to slip a ROOFIE in her drink and she's all like drunk so she accidentally knocks it over and it like falls onto the weird kid who brought his science experiment with him... SO LAME! Who brings homework to a party? SHUT UP BECKY, I would NOT fuck him! I think he's gay too! Oh, right the element thing... god... ok, so that nerd has like, radioactive stuff in a, uh, cyclotron? And it all gets mixed up and there's this big explosion and we all get covered in white cream! SO TRUE Becky, it was like our first night at college, omg that was awesome! Except this stuff was really smelly and burned my spray tan right off me. Super annoying, but THAT's why its called Berkelium, I think. They should have called it Chi-Deltium after the frat though, I think we were ripped off for real.

Etymology[edit | edit source]

Becky, ask ChatGPT what 'etymology' means. Oh, so like, the name? Um, so like it was named after UC Berkeley. We already did this part Becky, sounds like you lost more than just your wallet at that club yesterday.

Characteristics[edit | edit source]

Berkelium is like SO radioactive, which means she is:

Shiny
Bright
Probably hurts to touch!

It doesn't show up in nature, because nature said, like, “No thanks,” and humans were like, “Yeah let's do it.”

Physical and Atomic Properties[edit | edit source]

Atomic number: 97 (this is so BORING)
Atomic symbol: Bk (Ughhhh, let's go get Burger King after this)
Category: Ack-tin-eyed (Becky, what ARE those? They sound so made up!)

Most of the isotopes have, like, short half lives. Wait, so they're basically like Franklin, he only lasted 2 minutes the first time, 1 minute the next, and finally 30 seconds! Sooooo embarrassing for him. The most stable isotope lasts 1,380 years! Woah, Becky, that's more like, whats-his-name, the guy with the huge- oh yeah, Josh! So Berkeley coded.

Chemical Behavior[edit | edit source]

Berkelium is like SO REACTIVE, and... uh, "prefers to exist in the +3 oxidation state"... do we have to cite any of this Becky? This is real hard stuff. Oh, it can also go to +4, but that's like, going WAY out of her comfort zone. It behaves similar to other... ack-tin-eyeds.

Production[edit | edit source]

Josh told me they, like, have a nuclear reactor in here! Sooo scary!

All those lab coat nerds never go to frat parties, so now they just make Berkelium in, like, nuclear reactors. That's soooo scary Becky, I'm glad there aren't any near here or else, like, it would be Chornobyl! I don't want to be a zombieeeee!

They also only make little bits of Berkelium so there's only like a few grams of it... OH MY GOD Becky, I only have 3 grams left, we're going to have to hit up my dealer right after this! Anyway this stuff is like SUPER rare.

Uses[edit | edit source]

Okay so Berkelium is not, like, powering your iPhone, curing diseases, or exfoliating your skin, which kind of makes it useless?

They only use it to make elements even heavier. Becky, did you know that? Maybe that's what they put in food that makes people so fat! Omg, we should have been scientists and not dance majors... oh well! It also was used to synthesize... Ten-neh-seen? Uh, element 117.

Safety[edit | edit source]

Berkeleium is like also really not safe. It makes things heavy, and it can cause cancer! No way, Becky, your mom had cancer- maybe she ate this stuff! Anyway the stuff you see written on it is like:

Do not touch
Do not ingest
Do not “see what happens”

Berkelium should be like, handled only by professionals in those science places, not by frat boys at the frat house.

Cultural Significance[edit | edit source]

Omg, like, we're so finally done. Let's go find some blowww

I dunno Becky, I've never heard of this stuff so it can't be that big. The science nerds treat it like a, um, stepping stone for their research in nuclear stuff. Wait so like we should get rid of it, and then nobody will have nuclear bombs! #WorldPeace! Are we done with this yet? My nail polish is dry and I NEED to suck some- oh, a bibliography... fine-uh! Let's get this over with already.