From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search


[[File:|200px]]   Idiotic Table of Elements » 
Scientific Information
moderate to high
Favourite Food:
Star Sign:
As required
Specific Weight:
Exactly as required
Physical Properties
40 °C, or maybe 40 °F
-40 °C, or maybe -40 °F
Series 1 - 13 episodes
Series 2 - 26 episodes
Series 3 - 22.4 episodes
Other Properties:
A small condominium somewhere in Brazil

Plotonium is one of the more idiosyncratic elements under the modern Idiotic Table of the Elements. If left unattended, Plotonium will often decay to form Chrysanthemum. However, there are several known ways to prevent this waste.

Chemical Properties[edit | edit source]

Plotonium, like other Onanistic elements, is highly unreactive. In most cases will only interact with itself. This metal is known to be highly magnetic, and items containing high concentrations of plotonium are naturally drawn to each other by coincidences which would otherwise be highly is also very good with pancakes.

Creation[edit | edit source]

Plotonium is known to be naturally produced in the blood-stream of some people. This is considered to be a genetic disorder, as evidenced by the fact that it is more likely to manifest in the youngest sons of inbred royal families. In addition, some types of mind-control are believed to produce plotonium as a by-product.

Historical Use[edit | edit source]

Plotonium has traditionally been used in the manufacture of magical swords. Its strength also makes it perfect for reinforcing secret underground bases. Plotonium bromides have also been found to make good ink, being highly smudge-resistant. However, the high cost means that these specialist tinctures are only normally used for drawing blueprints of the utmost importance, such as those for giant robots and doomsday devices.

Present Day Uses[edit | edit source]

In more recent times, a number of firms specialising in anime accessories have created cosmetics, especially hair wax, containing large quantities of the element. This is possibly advanced as the reason why characters with more complex hairstyles are correspondingly more likely to stumble across the plans of an evil villain, or to find an enchanted weapon, according to the principle of like attracts like.

In addition, the protective properties of plotonium have attracted a lot of research recently. It is now believed that as well as being unbreakable, a door made of plotonium will resist most heroes' clairvoyant and teleporting abilities until such time as the plot deems it appropriate for them to get through. Scientists are still conducting experiments to determine whether walls made of plotonium will exhibit the same properties.

Further experimentation has shown that plotonium can vary in strength for no apparent reason; for example, when two similar pieces of plotonium are exposed to the same explosion, one may shatter while the other does not. The only difference between the two is the hero using the unbroken one for cover.

Speculation[edit | edit source]

Some have theorised that the Stargate may also be made of plotonium. However, they don't want you to know that.

1H Hydrogen Hu Homoerectium 1/5Bm Brucium 1/2Ch Cheesium 3/4Pl Plotonium D Deuterium 1.5Py Parodymium 2He Helium
3Li Lithium 4Be Beryllium 5B Boron 6C Carbon 7N Nitrogen 8O Oxygen 9 F Fluorine 10Ne Neon
11Na Sodium 12 Mg Magnesium 13Al Aluminum 14 Si Silicon 15 P Phosphorus 16 S Sulfur 17Cl Chlorine 18 Ar Argon
19 K Potassium 20 Ca Calcium 21 Sc Scandium 22Ti Titanium 23 V Vanadium 24 Cr Chromium 25 Mn Manganese 26Fe Iron 27 Co Cobalt 28Ni Nickel 29Cu Copper 30Zn Zinc 31 Ga Galium 32Ge Germanium 33As Arsenic 34 Se Selenium 35Br Bromine 36Kr Krypton
37 Rb Rubidium 38 Sr Strontium 39 Y Yttrium 40 Zr Zirconium 41 Nb Niobium 42 Mo Molybdenum 43 Tc Technetium 44 Ru Ruthenium 45 Rh Rhodium 46 Pd Palladium 47Ag Silver 48 Cd Cadmium 49In Indium 50Sn Tin 51 Sb Antimony 52 Te Tellurium 53 I Iodine 54Xe Xenon
55 Cs Cesium 56 Ba Barium 57 La Lanthanium 72 Hf Hafnium 73 Ta Tantalum 74 W Tungsten 75 Re Rthenium 76 Os Osmium 77 Ir Iridium 78Pt Platinum 79Au Gold 80Hg Mercury 81 Tl Thallium 82Pb Lead 83Bi Bismuth 84Po Polonium 85 At Astatine 86Rn Radon
87 Fr Francium 88Ra Radium 89 Ac Actinium 104Rf Rutherfordium 105 Db Dubnium 106 Sg Seaborgium 107 Bh Bohrium 108 Hs Hassium 109 Mt Meitnerium 110 Ds Darmstadtium 111Rg Roentgenium 112 Cn Copernicum 113 Nh Nihomium 114 Fl Flerovium 115 Mc Moscovium 116 Lv Livermorium 117 Ts Tennessine 118 Og Oganesson
58 Ce Cerium 59Pr Praseodymium 60 Nd Neodymium 61 Pm Promethium 61 Sm Samarium 63 Eu Europium 64 Gd Gadolinium 65 Tb Terbium 66 Dy Dysprosium 67 Ho Holmium 68 Er Erbium 69 Tm Thulium 70 Yb Ytterbium 71 Lu Lutetium 119Ub Unobtanium 120Un Unununium 121Aw Awesomnium
90 Th Thorium 91 Pa Protactinium 92U Uranium 93 Np Neptunium 94Pu Plutonium 95Am Americium 96 Cm Curium 97 Bk Berkelium 98 Cf Californium 99Es Einsteinium 100 Fm Fermium 101 Md Mendelevium 102 No Nobelium 103 Lr Lawrencium 122Ky Kryptonite 123St Stalinium 124Ob Obamium
Alkali Metal
Alkaline Earth
Transition Metal
Basic Metal
Noble Gas
 ( v · t · e )