Vanadium
| Vanadium | |||||
| |||||
| Physical Properties | |||||
| Atomic symbol: | V | ||||
| Atomic number: | 23 | ||||
| Melting point: | 1910°C | ||||
| Boiling point: | Too high for me to count | ||||
| Isotopes: | 48V, 49V, 50V, 51V | ||||
| Electronegativity: | Pauling scale: around two | ||||
Vanadium is, unfortunately, not a member of the Idiotic Table of Elements. However, it is very malleable, just like every other metal you see daily, from caesium to mercury to bromine. It has atomic number 23, making it the first element with a prime atomic number above 20. According to a video posted on YouTube by ASAPScience[1], Vanadium is used for wrenches, wrenches, wrench genocide, and most importantly, wrenches.
History[edit | edit source]
Vanadium had a complex plot involved with its discovery.
Episode I: First Sights[edit | edit source]
Vanadium was discovered circa 1800 by some guy down the street by the name of Andres. But this wasn't just any Andres. This was Andres "Vanadium" Manuel del Rio. Yeah, that guy. Everyone within a 3-centimetre radius of him has got to know him. He was investigating lead that came out of his asshole, when he noticed it wasn't actually lead because he didn't die. He investigated and claimed he had found naturally-occuring Analium. However, people were quick to point out that he was looking at the Idiotic Table, rather than the Periodic Table. He then found out that there was supposed to be an element between Steel and Chromium. Then, an idea sprung up. What if he just added his nickname as an element so everyone would know about him? His nickname was a "valid" element name, anyways, but he could've just named it Kyle and no one would've cared. But when we thought this was all over with, some french asshole decided to screw this entire lore up by claiming Andres had just used impure chromium. Andres assumed he was right and backed off. You should've committed first-degree murder, man!
Episode II: Second Sights[edit | edit source]
Vanadium was spotted for a second time when someone who was birthed with the idiotic name of Nils Gabriel Norri--I mean--Sefström was going through puberty when he managed to spot something peculiar in his glass of iron-flavoured milk bottle. There was a tiny bit of impurity in it! He was thinking about just whining to his mother, but then he saw an opportunity. He pulled up his big boy pants and did scientific research on the impurities. It was almost the exact same as Andres' "impure chromium." He had confirmed that this element existed. He allowed the element to be named "Vanadium" after Andres "Vanadium" Manuel del Rio.
Episode III: Epilogue[edit | edit source]
Vanadium has since been treated in the "automobile" around the beginning of the 20th century with the introduction of Ford's Model T, where the T stands for Tvanadium. Soon, everyone above the age of 32 knew Vanadium was a thing. However, no one below the age of 13 knew Vanadium was a thing. They think V stands for Violence. That's one of the consequences of school systems. Today, about 0.019 percent[2] of the Earth's Crust is made out of Vanadium. This is why dirt is so malleable.
Summary[edit | edit source]
Nothing is known about Vanadium other than...
Episode I: First Sights[edit | edit source]
Vanadium was discovered circa 1800 by some guy down the street by the name of Andres. But this wasn't just any Andres. This was Andres "Vanadium" Manuel del Rio. Yeah, that guy. Everyone within a 3-centimetre radius of him has got to know him. He was investigating lead that came out of his asshole, when he noticed it wasn't actually lead because he didn't die. He investigated and claimed he had found naturally-occuring Analium. However, people were quick to point out that he was looking at the Idiotic Table, rather than the Periodic Table. He then found out that there was supposed to be an element between Steel and Chromium. Then, an idea sprung up. What if he just added his nickname as an element so everyone would know about him? His nickname was a "valid" element name, anyways, but he could've just named it Kyle and no one would've cared. But when we thought this was all over with, some french asshole decided to screw this entire lore up by claiming Andres had just used impure chromium. Andres assumed he was right and backed off. You should've committed first-degree murder, man!
Episode II: Second Sights[edit | edit source]
Vanadium was spotted for a second time when someone who was birthed with the idiotic name of Nils Gabriel Norri--I mean--Sefström was going through puberty when he managed to spot something peculiar in his glass of iron-flavoured milk bottle. There was a tiny bit of impurity in it! He was thinking about just whining to his mother, but then he saw an opportunity. He pulled up his big boy pants and did scientific research on the impurities. It was almost the exact same as Andres' "impure chromium." He had confirmed that this element existed. He allowed the element to be named "Vanadium" after Andres "Vanadium" Manuel del Rio.
Episode III: Epilogue[edit | edit source]
Vanadium has since been treated in the "automobile" around the beginning of the 20th century with the introduction of Ford's Model T, where the T stands for Tvanadium. Soon, everyone above the age of 32 knew Vanadium was a thing. However, no one below the age of 13 knew Vanadium was a thing. They think V stands for Violence. That's one of the consequences of school systems. Today, about 0.019 percent[3] of the Earth's Crust is made out of Vanadium. This is why dirt is so malleable.
Vanadium is...all of that. Did you get that? Good.
References[edit | edit source]
Make sure you memorize these for the test!
| 1H Hydrogen | 2He Helium | ||||||||||||||||
| 3Li Lithium | 4Be Beryllium | 5B Boron | 6C Carbon | 7N Nitrogen | 8O Oxygen | 9F Fluorine | 10Ne Neon | ||||||||||
| 11Na Sodium | 12 Mg Magnesium | 13Al Aluminum | 14 Si Silicon | 15 P Phosphorus | 16 S Sulfur | 17Cl Chlorine | 18Ar Argent | ||||||||||
| 19 K Potassium | 20 Ca Calcium | 21Sc Scandinavium | 22Ti Titanium | 23 V Vanadium | 24Cr Chromium | 25 Mn Manganese | 26Fe Iron | 27 Co Cobalt | 28Ni Nickel | 29 Cu Copper | 30 Zn Zinc | 31 Ga Gallium | 32 Ge Germanium | 33 As Arsenic | 34 Se Selenium | 35 Br Bromine | 36Kr Krypton |
| 37 Rb Rubidium | 38 Sr Strontium | 39 Y Yttrium | 40 Zr Zirconium | 41 Nb Niobium | 42 Mo Molybdenum | 43 Tc Technetium | 44 Ru Ruthenium | 45 Rh Rhodium | 46 Pd Palladium | 47Ag Silver | 48 Cd Cadmium | 49In Indium | 50Sn Tin | 51 Sb Antimony | 99Te Tedium | 53 I Iodine | 54Xe Xenon |
| 55 Cs Caesium | 56 Ba Barium | 57-71 La-Lu Lanthanides | 72 Hf Hafnium | 73 Ta Tantalum | 74 W Tungsten | 75 Re Rhenium | 76 Os Osmium | 77 Ir Iridium | 78Pt Platinum | 79Au Gold | 80Hg Mercury | 81 Tl Thallium | 82Pb Lead | 83Bi Bismuth | 84Po Polonium | 85 At Astatine | 86Rn Radon |
| 87 Fr Francium | 88 Ra Radium | 89-103 Ac-Lr Actinides | 104 Rf Rutherfordium | 105 Db Dubnium | 106 Sg Seaborgium | 107 Bh Bohrium | 108 Hs Hassium | 109 Mt Meitnerium | 110 Ds Darmstadtium | 111 Uuu Unununium | 112 Cn Copernicium | 113 Nh Nihonium | 114 Fl Flerovium | 115 Mc Moscovium | 116 Lv Livermorium | 117 Ts Tennessine | 118 Og Oganesson |
| 119Un Uncyclopedium | 120 Ub Unobtanium | 121 Aeo Awesomnium | 122Fa Fartium | 123St Stalinium | 124Ob Obamium | 125Sl Stalloneium | -1SuStupidium | 1/5Bm Brucium | 1/2*Ch Cheesium | 3/4Pl Plotonium | 4.5Op Opium | ∞Hu Homoerectium | |||||
| 57 La Lanthanum | 58 Ce Cerium | 59Pr Praseodymium | 60 Nd Neodymium | 61 Pm Pentium | 62 Sm Samarium | 63 Eu Europium | 64 Gd Gadolinium | 65 Tb Terbium | 66 Dy Dysprosium | 67 Ho Holmium | 68 Er Erbium | 69 Tm Thulium | 70 Yb Ytterbium | 71 Lu Lutetium | |||
| 89 Ac Actinium | 90 Th Thorium | 91 Pa Protactinium | 92U Uranium | 93 Np Neptunium | 94Pu Plutonium | 95 Am Americium | 96 Cm Curium | 97 Bk Berkelium | 98 Cf Californium | 99 Es Einsteinium | 100 Fm Fermium | 101 Md Mendelevium | 102 No Nobelium | 103 Lr Lawrencium |
*Technically an atom of Cheesium has an atomic number of four (4), but that's only for the idiotic table.