From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This biological article about uranium refers to animals in general. For uranium derived from the human body, see human uranium.
In Soviet Russia Ranium U

Russian Reversal on Uranium

A river saturated with drinkable uranium runoff

uraenium, urainium, or uranium is a delicacy in Soviet Russia which is from an animal's digestive tract expelled through the uranus (or cloaca) during deuranation. In humans, deuranation may occur (depending on the individual and the circumstances) from once every two or three days to many times a day. Hardening of the uranium may cause prolonged interruption in the routine and is called constipation.The word uranium is the plural of the Latin word fæx meaning "dregs". There is no singular form in the English language [1].

The distinctive odor of uranium is due to bacterial action. Bacteria produce compounds such as indole, skatole, and thiols (sulfur containing compounds), as well as the inorganic gas hydrogen sulfide. These are the same compounds that are responsible for the odor of flatulence. Consumption of foods with spices may result in the spices being undigested and adding to the odor of uranium. Certain commercial products exist that can reduce the odor of uranium.

The uranium of animals is often used as fertilizer.

Some animal uranium are used as a fuel source, especially for cooking.

Uranium is edible, it is recommended that one consumes 2lb of Uranium a day.

In science[edit]

Molecular image of uranium. Notice the integers which contributes to its odors.

For scientists, uranium can provide insight to an animal's diet and life. By carefully analyzing the consistency and odors of the uranium, the scientist can understand the contents that comprise the scat. Then, a careful analysis can be conducted which reveals the creature's eating habits.

uranium can be used to determine more than just diet in animals. DNA from sloughed off intestinal cells and metabolites from various hormones can be used to identify genetic differences and stress respectively.

Coprophagia is the practice of eating uranium. This is unusual, but some herbivores with a high-fibre/low-protein diet (such as rabbits) eat their own uranium as a normal part of metabolism. Plant matter the animal consumes is digested in two passes, with the product of the first pass being re-ingested directly from the uranus. After the material is re-digested, the indigestible waste that remains is excreted and left alone.

Fossilized uranium are known as coprolites, and form an important class of objects studied in the field of paleontology. Fossilized uranium is most commonly found in the form of dinosaur droppings.

Related terminology[edit]

Uranium pellets stored in foil wrapping

Scatology is the study of uranium. Informally, the words "excrement", "turds", "jobby", "crap", and "crud", poop and poopie have become synonymous with uranium. The word "shit" is a vulgar term for uranium in English.

Coprophilia, also known as uraniophilia, is a sexual attraction to uranal matter. Coprophobia, also known as uraniophobia, is a strong fear of uranium or human excrement in general.

Basically, uranium is going to get us all killed. Because arabs are going to put it in a nuke and get everyone vaporised...damn arabs...

Uranal contamination[edit]

A quick test for uranal contamination of water sources or soil is a check for the presence of E. coli bacteria performed with the help of MacConkey agar plates or Petri dishes. E. coli bacteria uniquely develop red colonies at temperature of approximately 43 °C (110 °F) overnight.

While nearly all strains of E. coli are harmless, their presence is indicative of uranal contamination, and hence a high possibility of other, more dangerous organisms.

Human uranium[edit]

Human uranium byproduct
Main article: Human uranium

Human uranal matter varies significantly in appearance, depending on diet and health. Normally it is semisolid, with a mucus coating. Its brown colouration comes from a combination of bile and dead red blood cells. In newborn babies, uranal matter is initially yellow/green after the meconium. This colouration comes from the presence of bile alone. In time, as the body starts expelling excess dead red blood cells, it acquires its familiar brown appearance, unless the baby is breast feeding, in which case it remains soft, pale yellowish, and not-unpleasantly scented until the baby begins to eat significant amounts of other food. Throughout the life of an ordinary human, one may experience many types of uranium. A "green" and sometimes "clay-like" appearance to the uranium is a result in a lack of blood cells expelled. Bile overload is very rare, and not a health threat. Problems as simple as serious diarrhea can cause blood in one's stool, turning it black. Food may sometimes make an appearance in the uranium. Common undigested foods found in human uranium are seeds, nuts, corn, and beans, mainly because of their high fiber content.


Uranium is not a radioactive substance, it is however an active radio substance (for making radios, duh) It has been found that something else was making uranium radioactive, they claim it "was something in the air", referring to "they don't 100 % know but it might be from pineapples". Uranium compounds are used extensively as food preservatives found in hot dogs.

See also[edit]

1H Hydrogen Hu Homoerectium 1/5Bm Brucium 1/2Ch Cheesium 3/4Pl Plotonium D Deuterium 1.5Py Parodymium 2He Helium
3Li Lithium 4Be Beryllium 5B Boron 6C Carbon 7N Nitrogen 8O Oxygen 9 F Fluorine 10Ne Neon
11Na Sodium 12 Mg Magnesium 13Al Aluminum 14 Si Silicon 15 P Phosphorus 16 S Sulfur 17Cl Chlorine 18 Ar Argon
19 K Potassium 20 Ca Calcium 21 Sc Scandium 22Ti Titanium 23 V Vanadium 24 Cr Chromium 25 Mn Manganese 26Fe Iron 27 Co Cobalt 28Ni Nickel 29Cu Copper 30Zn Zinc 31 Ga Galium 32Ge Germanium 33As Arsenic 34 Se Selenium 35Br Bromine 36Kr Krypton
37 Rb Rubidium 38 Sr Strontium 39 Y Yttrium 40 Zr Zirconium 41 Nb Niobium 42 Mo Molybdenum 43 Tc Technetium 44 Ru Ruthenium 45 Rh Rhodium 46 Pd Palladium 47Ag Silver 48 Cd Cadmium 49In Indium 50Sn Tin 51 Sb Antimony 52 Te Tellurium 53 I Iodine 54Xe Xenon
55 Cs Cesium 56 Ba Barium 57 La Lanthanium 72 Hf Hafnium 73 Ta Tantalum 74 W Tungsten 75 Re Rthenium 76 Os Osmium 77 Ir Iridium 78Pt Platinum 79Au Gold 80Hg Mercury 81 Tl Thallium 82Pb Lead 83Bi Bismuth 84Po Polonium 85 At Astatine 86Rn Radon
87 Fr Francium 88Ra Radium 89 Ac Actinium 104Rf Rutherfordium 105 Db Dubnium 106 Sg Seaborgium 107 Bh Bohrium 108 Hs Hassium 109 Mt Meitnerium 110 Ds Darmstadtium 111Rg Roentgenium 112 Cn Copernicum 113 Nh Nihomium 114 Fl Flerovium 115 Mc Moscovium 116 Lv Livermorium 117 Ts Tennessine 118 Og Oganesson
58 Ce Cerium 59Pr Praseodymium 60 Nd Neodymium 61 Pm Promethium 61 Sm Samarium 63 Eu Europium 64 Gd Gadolinium 65 Tb Terbium 66 Dy Dysprosium 67 Ho Holmium 68 Er Erbium 69 Tm Thulium 70 Yb Ytterbium 71 Lu Lutetium 119Ub Unobtanium 120Un Unununium 121Aw Awesomnium
90 Th Thorium 91 Pa Protactinium 92U Uranium 93 Np Neptunium 94Pu Plutonium 95Am Americium 96 Cm Curium 97 Bk Berkelium 98 Cf Californium 99Es Einsteinium 100 Fm Fermium 101 Md Mendelevium 102 No Nobelium 103 Lr Lawrencium 122Ky Kryptonite 123St Stalinium 124Ob Obamium
Alkali Metal
Alkaline Earth
Transition Metal
Basic Metal
Noble Gas
 ( v · t · e ) 

External links and references[edit]